Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
@LewandowskiPhD
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Chief Love Scientist @ | @TEDx Speaker | @PsychToday Empowering 10 million+ people to more fulfilling relationships through science
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Pinned Tweet
I've had articles get over a million views. But nothing I've written has generated as much positive feedback as this piece (that I never intended to share).
The number of people reaching out to say thanks or to say they're sharing it with their daughter has been truly amazing.
My daughter turned 16 this summer, so I put together 10 simple yet powerful relationship lessons EVERY teenager needs to hear.
@PsychToday
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28
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"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors." ~Anaïs Nin
See what you’ve been missing. Give your relationship the science it deserves.
9
48
275
What you don't know, can hurt your relationship.
My new book Stronger Than You Think uses science to reveal the great parts of your relationship you've been taking for granted.
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39
106
"I think that a long-enduring, mostly loving marriage is one of the most underrated elements of success in the world. Maybe the most underrated." ~
@andrewrosener
on the
@tferriss
podcast
6
13
122
Problem: Half of what you know about relationships is wrong.
Bigger Problem: You don't know which half.
See what you’ve been missing. Give your relationship the science it deserves.
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50
The best relationship is between two people who feel lucky to have found each other.
2
11
49
“Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.” — Anton Chekhov
Found this gem in
#5BulletFriday
courtesy of
@tferriss
2
14
49
"I think that a long-enduring, mostly loving marriage is one of the most underrated elements of success in the world. Maybe the most underrated." ~
@andrewrosener
on the
@tferriss
podcast
2
8
50
Everyone deserves a great relationship book.
Have you found yours?
My new book Stronger Than You Think uses science to reveal the great parts of your relationship you've been taking for granted.
0
6
36
Relationships matter: "...I just listed all the good things that have happened to me in my life...I listed 100 things...97, 98 of them were because of somebody that I knew, not because of something that I did." ~
@samcorcos
via
@tferriss
podcast
0
7
49
"Every dating problem is simply a personal emotional/trauma/baggage problem that’s manifesting as a dating problem." ~
@IAmMarkManson
on the
@tferriss
podcast
1
2
47
From now on, when students/colleagues say they write better under pressure, I'm going to send them this app where if you stop writing, it erases everything.
⏳⌛️💣💣🤯🤯🤯
#AcademicTwitter
@AcademicChatter
5
9
44
“What’s the secret to finding lasting love?”
“…we begin to believe the myth that love is just going to fall in our laps. …Lasting love happens slowly, in small increments and there’s no fast-forward button.”~
@DamonaHoffman
via
@PsychToday
3
13
42
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form. But it’s more than that. It’s a philosophy that views negative experiences as an opportunity to emerge even better off. Breakup can be that opportunity.
@PsychToday
1
15
39
Relationships are complicated. You deserve something great, so you don't want to settle. You also don't want to be alone.
My latest article from
@PsychToday
explores every relationships' toughest decision: Should I stay or should I go?
1
12
40
How do hormones impact cheating in relationships? Check out my latest article on
@PsychToday
4
12
37
"Quiet Quitting" in relationships:
-Not spending time together
-Not communicating
-Not affectionate
-Being unwilling to “deal with” partner
@PsychToday
2
16
37
“When your relationship doesn’t help you become a better person, ending it does.”
Breakup hurts, but it may be for the best.
@PsychToday
1
7
37
Hiding your quirks attracts more people.
But being true to yourself will attract the right people.
Your ideal partner will find your particular brand of weirdness endearing.
4
10
36
Breakup shouldn’t be a surprise. Sudden breakups are rarely as sudden as they seem. Pay attention, have conversations. The signs are there...
1
6
36
"I think an important thing for everyone is to think about the world and society as us instead of me, and to try to act that way, and to think longer term." ~
@EdwardOThorp
on the
@tferriss
podcast
1
5
35
Before the weekend, take 20 minutes to ponder what really matters. From
@oliverburkeman
via
@tferriss
0
8
35
I don't know how your relationship is doing during all of this, but I got praised for putting the kitchen sponge in the right spot. Pretty much killing it over here.
0
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Do I proofread texts and tweets? Yes.
Do I proofread them after I hit send? Also yse
1
4
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Breakups hurt. Because we don't like to lose things, maintaining a connection feels like the right decision. My latest
@PsychToday
article explains how to make it work and what to avoid.
2
6
29
The pandemic taught us the importance of spending time on our relationship. It's important that we don't forget that lesson.
@PsychToday
1
14
29
The pandemic gave relationships an unexpected boost that allowed couples the chance to better appreciate what they had. A year later, couples’ relationship satisfaction has fallen back to pre-pandemic levels
@MonmouthPoll
0
7
17
5 Romantic Ideas that Harm Your Relationship
Conquers All
2.Relationships Should Be Perfect
3.Jealousy as a Sign of Devotion
Should Always Put Your Partner First
5.True Love Lasts Forever
@PsychToday
1
4
30
“Great relationships seldom fail, but bad ones do. As they should.” Truly great relationships need to be great for both partners.
@PsychToday
0
12
29
Breakup shouldn’t be a surprise. Sudden breakups are rarely as sudden as they seem. Pay attention, have conversations. The signs are there...
3
4
30
Do I proofread texts and tweets? Yes.
Do I proofread them after I hit send? Also yse
5
2
29
Mindreading is a Mistake “The belief that romantic partners “should know” what we want is harmful to our intimate relationships.” ~
@thatgirlevolved
via
@PsychToday
0
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There are many reasons why people cheat. Which ones are a threat to your relationship? My article from
@PsychToday
explores the many motivations for cheating (it's not all about sex).
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Instead of asking, “Do they like me?” Ask yourself, “Are they good for me?
1
5
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The best, most fulfilling, and long-lasting relationships are fundamentally boring (i.e., lacking perpetual ups & downs). No drama. Just consistency, predictability, and reliability.
6
5
28
My daughter turned 16 this summer, so I put together 10 simple yet powerful relationship lessons EVERY teenager needs to hear.
@PsychToday
1
6
28
Every relationship problem has the same initial solution: Communication.
1
4
27
"In safe relationships, couples grow each other...once you feel seen, accepted, and held, there’s a natural human growth process that happens. " ~ Dr. Sue Johnson
Great podcast from
@Dr_SueJohnson
and
@tferriss
discussing the science of relationships.
0
9
25
Ubuntu is an African philosophy that says, “I am because of you,” or “People are not people without other people.” ~
@boydvarty
via
@tferriss
Relationships are important. Time is short. We need to get it right.
0
4
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Always Happy? “… no one is happy all the time...as long as both people are willing to work through it, things can get better…As long as you grow together and do not grow apart, your relationship is in great shape!” ~
@theluvexpert
via
@PsychToday
0
9
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Marry the love of your life, then joyfully work the rest of your life at loving the person you married.
0
5
24
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form. But it’s more than that. It’s a philosophy that views negative experiences as an opportunity to emerge even better off. Breakup can be that opportunity.
@PsychToday
2
11
24
Proud wife, happy life. Kylie Kelce in the back is like, "yup, that's my guy."
0
1
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"...the most important button on the keyboard is “delete.” That’s the big thing." ~
@harari_yuval
from the
@tferriss
podcast
#WritingCommunity
#Writer
#writing
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3
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"...the most important button on the keyboard is “delete.” That’s the big thing." ~
@harari_yuval
from the
@tferriss
podcast
#WritingCommunity
1
2
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Your relationship isn't so bad that you want to leave, but it's not the relationship you wanted.
You're not apart, but not fully together.
Not happy, but not unhappy either. What gives?
@PsychToday
1
7
23
Men are misunderstood: “…men fall in love faster and more often; they want to move in together faster, and they are more likely to believe that a ‘hook up’ can lead to love.” ~
@DrHelenFisher
via
@PsychToday
0
3
11
Marry the person you love, then work tirelessly at loving the person you married.
0
7
23
We have to stop taking the good parts of our relationship for granted. What are you missing?
My latest
@PsychToday
article based on my new book: Stronger Than You Think.
@lbsparkbooks
@littlebrown
How to appreciate the positive in your relationship instead of constantly focusing on what's going wrong, writes
@LewandowskiPhD
0
19
62
0
9
22
The best relationship partners invite us to have a voice, instead of rewarding our silence.
3
2
21
Love Equals Intuition – "If my partner loves me, they should know what's wrong. Not so. Love doesn't grant our partner telepathy.” ~
@susan_e_winter
via
@PsychToday
0
6
12
The sudden end of a relationship is rarely as sudden as it seems to the partner who wasn't paying attention. Here are the signs people miss that could have helped save their connection.
@PsychToday
0
7
18
What do the experts think most people are getting wrong about
#love
and
#relationships
?
@PsychToday
2
8
20
Don’t spend more time planning your wedding than you spend preparing for your marriage.
0
6
21
How do couples make it to their 50th anniversary?
It's NOT because they're perfect.
Instead, those couples are remarkably resilient.
@PsychToday
2
5
18
When two people are meant for each other, they’re better people when they’re together than when they're apart.
1
6
20
When it comes to love, do you fall too fast? Do you fall for the wrong people?
Learn what risk factors make some people more susceptible than others.
@PsychToday
3
12
20
We have a fundamental motivation to improve ourselves and relationships are a key way to do that.
#selfexpansion
@ConversationUS
0
11
18
A Hidden Key to a More Satisfying Relationship | Psychology Today
0
9
19
What's the best gift you can give your partner this
#ValentinesDay
? Time. Even just 4 hours a week will go a long way.
@PsychToday
0
5
13
Don’t spend more time planning your wedding than you spend preparing for your marriage.
0
3
19
Useful stuff they need to teach in high school:
1) How to budget your finances
2) A science-based course on healthy relationships
3
2
20
5 Romantic Ideas that Harm Your Relationship
Conquers All
2.Relationships Should Be Perfect
3.Jealousy as a Sign of Devotion
Should Always Put Your Partner First
5.True Love Lasts Forever
@PsychToday
1
9
17
Don’t spend more time planning your wedding than you spend preparing for your marriage.
2
5
19
Your relationship was great, until it wasn’t. What happened?
Sudden changes or breakups are never as sudden as they may seem. The signs were there. Here’s what to look for so you don’t miss them again.
@PsychToday
0
6
17
Is your relationship working? It's complicated because you deserve something great, but you also don't want to settle and you don't want to be alone.
My
@PsychToday
article explores relationships' toughest decision: Should I stay or should I go?
0
5
19
In the best relationships, partners help each other grow. Is your relationship doing as much as it should?
@PsychToday
0
10
19
Men rarely open up about their fears around dating and relationships.
@tferriss
's honest and insightful conversation with
@mattmochary
is extremely valuable.
1
5
19
Does love conquer all? Should true love be perfect?
While romantic, these ideas (and others) can actually damage your relationship.
@PsychToday
3
3
19
Too many relationships start out promising but then fall apart.
Learn to protect your relationship by building emotional capital.
@PsychToday
0
5
18
When someone ghosts you, you didn't do something wrong...they did.
2
2
19
The best relationship partners invite us to have a voice, instead of rewarding our silence.
1
8
18
Problems Don't Disappear “Since differences are inevitable, it is important to have conversations about them to make sure you both feel understood, accepted, and can compromise satisfactorily.” ~
@AnitaOnLove
via
@PsychToday
0
6
16
Relationships are important. Thanks for the RT and helping me share relationship science with the world!
@MeravSharon
@nanda_gaurav29
@khai_rina195
@knowyourbrain20
@SisonkeWellness
@PictureDivorce
@bk_belton
@OttawaCCT
@nopalabrar
@dscottsibley
@mouse_potatoe
@umuganwa27
0
1
13
In the best relationships, partners help each other grow. Is your relationship doing as much as it should?
@PsychToday
1
4
18
Are you in love?
To answer that, are you going to pay attention to the sparks or the warmth in your relationship?
@PsychToday
0
5
17
With the long weekend coming up, you have the extra 20 minutes to ponder what really matters.
From
@oliverburkeman
via
@tferriss
…
1
5
17
Hiding your quirks attracts more people.
But being true to yourself will attract the right people.
Your ideal partner will find your particular brand of weirdness endearing.
1
1
17
Don't waste your time being kind to dating partners who are mean or disrespectful. Move on.
They lost their chance.
0
4
17
In relationships, we think we want to feel special, adored, and excited. But you really want to feel comfortable, be yourself, feel seen, heard, and understood.
2
5
17
With the long weekend coming up, you have the extra 20 minutes to ponder what really matters.
From
@oliverburkeman
via
@tferriss
…
0
4
17
Write with a glass of wine.
Edit with a cup of coffee.
0
2
17
We'll often choose a convenient relationship to escape loneliness, only to realize later on that there's nothing lonelier than being with the wrong person.
1
1
16
Do nice things for your partner, but try NOT to get caught. Why is this good for your relationship?
@PsychToday
0
7
16
Being in love and being compatible with someone is NOT the same thing. You can have one without the other.
1
5
17
“Great relationships seldom fail, but bad ones do. As they should.” Truly great relationships need to be great for both partners.
@PsychToday
0
6
16