“I just saw you at this other club, are you going to do the same set this weekend?” No I write a new hour every week just for you bitch

RT @ZaniesChicago: 🚀 TICKET SELL OUT ALERT Comedian and former Chicagoan @LaraBeitz returns to Zanies January 27-29! Grab your tickets whil…

@Delta why do you partner with @westjet ? I booked through you, but you won’t help me either. I feel like you brought a guy to my party, he broke all the stuff, and now you’re like “yeah he’s crazy, you’ll have to take it up with him.” But you brought them into my life

@WestJet I call and it says you’re not accepting calls. Says go online for a call back, but the website says you’re not offering the callback service. There’s no email address. Need my suitcase. Sat on tarmac for 6 hrs at YVR, then deplaned & they kept our bags. Filled out report

If you have baby fever, just stop by Target today I found the cure

RT @lastbestcomedy: It’s @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy night!! FRIDAY NIGHT ⚡️ STAND-UP ⏰ 8pm (sold out) & 10pm 🎟 $20 (advance) 🍺 Full Bar htt…

RT @lastbestcomedy: FRIDAY NIGHT 🦊 STAND-UP w/ @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy Shows @ 8 & 10pm $20 ⚡️ 18+ #bozeman #standup #comedy #montana #g…

RT @lastbestcomedy: 🗣️ 8 o'clock show w/ @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy this Friday night is almost SOLD OUT!! TIX: Get em while you can ⤵️ https…

RT @lastbestcomedy: This Friday night in #Bozeman… Headliner @LaraBeitz ➡️ Joe Rogan Experience ➡️ Lights Out w/ David Spade ➡️ opened f…

RT @StephTolev: New Slobs podcast out every Monday!!!! With @JMScomedy @LaraBeitz and moi. Listen and subscribe now please

RT @lastbestcomedy: SEPTEMBER HEADLINERS @ Last Best Comedy 9/2 @nickvatterott feat Suz Ballout 9/9 @simeygibson 9/16 @gavinmatts feat @M…

RT @marcmaron: I appreciate everyone coming out to the show last night @englert in Iowa City. It was fun. I mean it. Thanks. @LaraBeitz was…

RT @marcmaron: OMG the show @hoytsherman last night in Des Moines was electric. Great crowd. @LaraBeitz killed. Thanks for coming to the sh…

RT @marcmaron: Lincoln NE! Great crowd last night @RococoTheatre! Thanks @LaraBeitz for featuring. Special thanks to Bonnie @Budget at LNK…

RT @WTFpod: Just posted for Full Maron subscribers - Marc and @LaraBeitz on the road in Indianapolis after a less-than-successful hunt for…

RT @StephTolev: Have you listened to the latest episode of Slobs Yet?!? @JMScomedy and I had a bit of a rant while @LaraBeitz was off openi…

RT @marcmaron: Gotta be honest…last night’s show @KyCtrArts w/@LaraBeitz was a blast. Great crowd. Thanks, Louisville. #Loouhvuhl #BigRiffs…

RT @marcmaron: Louisville KY! I'll be @KyCtrArts tomorrow night! Saturday 8/6 w/ @LaraBeitz! You should get tix here:

RT @marcmaron: The show @OldNatlCentre last night in Indy w/ @larabeitz was special. I mean it. Transcended Ballroom expectations. Thanks f…

Cold brew is bad for you. I’m never drinking this again. I’m having heart palpitations

RT @marcmaron: Great show with @LaraBeitz @CAPAColumbus last night! The Southern Theatre is one of the best I’ve played. Fun crowd! Thanks,…