Royal Kingsley
@Kingsley_Royal
Followers
2,613
Following
835
Media
1,504
Statuses
5,515
Unnofficial mascot, bon-viveur and furry cocksmith to the over 30s.
Reading
Joined November 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Iran
• 3603300 Tweets
Vance
• 2202367 Tweets
Vance
• 2202367 Tweets
Vance
• 2202367 Tweets
Moderators
• 289724 Tweets
Pence
• 127253 Tweets
Minnesota
• 126106 Tweets
Margaret
• 106712 Tweets
Tampon Tim
• 94118 Tweets
Tiananmen Square
• 63086 Tweets
からくりサーカス
• 57485 Tweets
#原神KFCコラボ
• 48990 Tweets
ケンタッキー
• 48051 Tweets
महात्मा गांधी
• 47637 Tweets
Knucklehead
• 46800 Tweets
LINGLING MYCHERIE AMOUR EP4
• 45935 Tweets
गांधी जयंती
• 42615 Tweets
#GandhiJayanti
• 42441 Tweets
लाल बहादुर शास्त्री
• 41350 Tweets
Megyn
• 33796 Tweets
Obamacare
• 29719 Tweets
Vladimir
• 23728 Tweets
Timmy
• 23230 Tweets
ニンテンドーミュージアム
• 22585 Tweets
リネット
• 19629 Tweets
ネットオーダー
• 16149 Tweets
宮崎空港
• 15417 Tweets
Homely Shelter
• 14772 Tweets
原神コラボ
• 12425 Tweets
Train: £5
Ticket: £25
Pre-match shots: £30
Gak: £60
Taxi to ground: £10
Beers: £10
Taxi to town at HT: £10
Post match beers: £80
Curry: £25
Crystal MDMA : £40
After Dark: £5
Doner (L): £6
Taxi home: £30
Total: £336
Is it any wonder families are being priced out of football?!
79
1K
3K
Fair play to those few with the bollocks to see it through to the end. The virgins crying into their Mountain Warehouse fleeces about it all can get to fuck.
8
16
421
@secondtierpod
Probably Reading. Even if you can make it to the ground without getting your head kicked in by one of the hardest and most active firms in the UK, you'll be met with a relentless wall of noise from the home fans and be forced to drink overpriced Fosters from a plastic glass.
12
13
391
If we go out of business because of this, I am going to go to every single Wycombe home game until the end of time and chin every single one of you until there’s nobody left. Should take about three games judging by the amount you get at home.
@STARReading
At this stage we can only refer you to our club who will be issuing a statement in due course
74
9
24
57
16
330
Why would any civilised person want to spend £40 on top of train + cans + gear, just to spend an afternoon surrounded by coal dust covered, scurvy-riddled paupers in the nonce gang capital of Britain? We’ll be at home watching Top Gear repeats and fingering our model girlfriends.
6
33
280
Watching Reading attack with pace and act like utter shithouses after having to endure nearly a decade of fair play awards, passing sideways and noncing about at the back for 90 minutes, is by some distance the best thing about this season.
1
22
271
Players clapping the fans, fans clapping the players. Stood here in £800 worth of clobber, crying tears of pure joy surrounded by the best firm in England. Best night since my wedding.
#readingfc
5
48
264
@ReadingFC
Grow up. You won’t have a club to tweet about if this crook carries on the way he has so far.
2
12
264
No fans in the ground is really hitting home tonight. Would have been absolute mayhem on the streets of Henley, Thame and Marlow ahead of unarguably, Britain’s fiercest and most hostile football rivalry.
#ReadingFC
#Chairboys
#BerksAndBucksFestivalOfMalice
5
27
254
Whatever your plans were for this evening
@JahmariClarke9
, cancel them. I’m taking you for a slap up grill at the Prospect Park Harvester and then we’re going to Brannigans to drink ourselves unconscious and finger everything that moves.
6
11
244
Pretty sure this is what Jesus had in mind when he invented Bank Holidays by nailing himself to that cross.
2
11
235
I genuinely can't believe Paul fucking Ince has made me enjoy watching Reading again. I'm confused. Happy. Erect. All of the major emotions.
1
8
224
If I hear one more virgin say "The aim is to get 50 points & stay up." Just delete your account & find another hobby. The aim should be to get promoted, win the Premier League & then spend the next 10 years dominating Europe & smashing up continental market towns every other week
9
17
214
I’m not one to overreact to a couple of half decent performances, but it’s going to be such a thrill to watch this team lift the Champions League trophy at Wembley in 3 years time.
#readingfc
1
27
219
@NoContextBrits
4. Bristol, Reading, Oxford and Swindon. The M4 corridor of hate would be unbeatable in a national windmilling contest.
3
0
208
The greatest gift a father can give his children, is tricking them into a lifetime supporting
#readingfc
before they’re old enough to realise what you’ve done.
14
18
212
Absolutely buzzing for The Wessex Hexagon of Hate next season.
#readingfc
#oufc
#pfc
#utg
#ctfc
#chairboys
#windmilling
9
15
216
Zoom riot scheduled for Saturday if we lose against Luton. Please remote in from your local and join us in launching patio furniture into neighbouring residential gardens. Meeting ID to be distributed Saturday morning.
#readingfc
8
18
210
Quite an emotional day, being reminded of what a great club
#ReadingFC
was only a few years ago. Like running into your fittest ex on a night out and her sucking you off on the fire escape in the Turtle for old time's sake.
#Royals150
7
7
208
I’m not one to overreact to a single result, but I think it’s high time we removed the statue of Queen Victoria from opposite the town hall and replaced it with a 30ft bronze likeness of Reading’s greatest ever manager, Veljko Paunović.
7
19
206
I caught up with outgoing
#readingfc
Chief Executive, Ron Gourlay. He spoke at length about the owners, fans and winning off the pitch. Huge if true.
11
56
200
Do Leeds fans have any idea how they’re viewed in civilised society? What makes them think we’d like another 2k poverty stricken, donkey jacket wearing, TB riddled paedos clogging up our streets & getting coal dust everywhere. The local homeless charities have enough to deal with
12
20
193
After all I’ve done to promote this club positively online for the last 5 years, and this is how I find out.
4
17
191
I’m not one to overreact, but the last five minutes are the greatest in
#readingfc
’s 148 year history.
5
20
194
Amazing scenes here in Cardiff at FT. Paunovic is stood on the treatment table, naked and fully tumescent screaming “We are going up!” over and over again, as Kia Joorabchian leads the players on a conga round the dressing room.
#readingfc
7
13
195
Amazing scenes in the changing room afterwards. Young lads smashing in to the Bulmers, openly weeping with joy. Guntz is marching round the changing room, naked & fully tumescent chanting ‘We are going up!”, while Charlie Adam does death lines off Ejaria’s 2ft schlong.
#readingfc
4
20
185
One of the most beautiful sights you’ll ever see after the game. Ince stood on the treatment table, top off, trousers down, flexing his caramel pecs and helicoptering his ample girth, screaming ‘We are staying up!’ over and over again as the lads cheer him on.
#readingfc
6
11
182
Incredible scenes in the dressing room at FT. Selles has ripped his top off & is marching round screaming at the players as they come out of the shower “We are staying up you naked bastards. Look at you. Fucking look at you. We are fucking Reading. No relegation. Yes.” Beautiful.
5
19
180
Absolutely no lose situation for
#readingfc
fans tonight. Oxford win and we finally see the return of the most heavily policed game in the history of English football. Lose and we get to wank ourselves dry using the tears of their supporters as lube.
1
17
184
First Thames Valley Derby in two decades, but what was your highlight from tonight’s game?
a) Sam Smith’s goal celebration.
b) Oxford refusing to come out of the pub when Reading turned up.
c) Oxford hiding behind the police for their own safety.
d) Oxford getting done in Pavs.
7
19
182
I’m not one to overreact, but if we win this afternoon, I’m painting ‘READING FC CHAMPIONS 20/21’ in 8ft letters on Reading West bridge.
8
12
177
I’m not one to overreact, but Pușcaș is definitely the greatest
#readingfc
player of all time.
2
11
174
Imagine if the owners do suddenly start paying attention, realise they’ve completely fucked everything & leave. We will owe them £90m, have no ground & no saleable assets left. Half-decent chance we won’t exist unless there’s an idiotic billionaire somewhere who supports Reading.
13
22
175
Every single one of these useless cunts can fuck off. Stam, the players, the criminal owners, the marketing dept. & that fat fucking furry cunted disgrace Queensley. Then set fire to the stadium, claim the insurance & rebuild a terraced shithole at Scours Lane.
#boo
#readingfc
7
45
171
Laughable.
Unlike other mobs, Reading don’t look for validation from other fans by shouting about what they get up to. Turn up, do the business, go home.
#readingfc
#TheseColourzNeverRun
7
15
176
Another whingeing northern peasant who wants something for nothing. No wonder we had to close down all your mines.
6
6
163
A little farewell message from the people of Berkshire, North Hants & South Oxon
#readingfc
#lufc
24
82
148
Coventry (h). Brings back memories of a great day out at their place and going out with the lads in Birmingham afterwards.
@willow1871
@TimDellor
@goodingmick4
8
10
161
Merry Oxmas Eve everyone. Britain’s most notorious football match, The Thames Valley Carnival of Hate™️, is upon us for the first time in nearly 20 years. Don’t forget to polish your Lonsdale slip ons, iron your Diesel boot cuts & get a good night’s sleep.
#readingfc
#oufc
6
22
160
Hull is the bleakest shit hole in Yorkshire, which is saying something. If
#readingfc
hadn’t provided free travel, you’d have been staring at an empty stand while we all stayed in Berkshire counting our money and fingering our model girlfriends.
10
16
152
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
27
4
156
Congratulations
#readingfc
. You have now been so bad for so long that I have finally run out of ways to moan about it.
4
30
154
Just spoken to Mungo, Oxford’s top boy. He said there’s a bout of Reading Flu doing the rounds in the group chat. He’s absolutely fuming. “It’s the last thing I need tbf Kingsley. We need a decent turnout on Saturday after getting run all over the show by your lot last time.”
4
7
158
Britain’s most notorious football match, The Thames Valley Carnival of Hate™️, moves a step closer for the first time in nearly 16 years. Hearing reports that
@TVP_Oxford
’s Mounted Section are holding an emergency strategy meeting as we speak.
#readingfc
#oufc
OXFORD UNITED ARE GOING TO WEMBLEY!!!!!
The U's will face either Wycombe or Fleetwood...
134
615
4K
10
18
156
Leeds fans! We hope you have a great day out today (except for the result!!1!), but please be aware that many of the popular hobbies in Yorkshire that are taken for granted, such as domestic violence, vagrancy, noncing & heroine abuse are actually ILLEGAL in the South of England.
8
27
150
Thoughts are with the rest of the Championship at this difficult time. Another season getting outsung by a soulless out of town stadium full of replica shirt mongs, beaten by a team of Chelsea loanees & then getting your heads kicked in by Britain’s best dressed firm.
#readingfc
3
20
144
Just been past the station and there’s a tidy little mob of Leeds plotting up outside the Guineas.
#readingfc
9
9
146
Anyone who has ever played football at any level knows that white shorts make you play better than any other shorts. Therefore I am so confident of promotion for
#readingfc
with this new kit, I will be putting every penny of my children’s education fund on them going up.
6
15
151
The queue to kiss Veljko Paunović on the mouth starts behind me.
4
7
148
On behalf of all the players, staff & supporters at
#ReadingFC
, we’d like to congratulate Wycombe on their promotion! Can’t decide what we’re looking forward to most - shopping in the big John Lewis, fingering some munter in The White Horse, or simply smashing up your town.
1
9
149
Just spoken to GMac who's getting the HT drinks in. Asked him about injury : "Leg's fine Kingers, but I'm fucked if I'm running around in that weather for 90 minutes. I'll come back at the end of March when Stam's gone & the sun's out." Huge if true.
#readingfc
3
35
141
Is there a bigger collection of dry fannies in Britian than
#readingfc
fans?
"Ooh, stop moaning or you'll hurt the players feelings."
3 months. 1 league win. If we were any other club we'd have bricked the Director's box and set fire to the player's coach by now.
4
37
143
What a difference a week makes. Top 6 finish not only possible after the last two results, but now more likely than not. League and cup double now firmly back on and anyone who says otherwise is talking out of their fucking arse.
5
8
148
I caught up with
#readingfc
Chief Executive Ron Gourlay this morning and asked him about Yakou Méïté's new 4 year deal. Here's what he had to say. Huge if true.
11
28
145
Raucous atmosphere on Liam Moore express. Lads chugging Sunny D & Capri Sun chasers, Dangerous Dave leading the singing:
EIEIEIO
South Stand ultras here we go
We never pay for travel
Weve jibbed the sunshine bus
We are better, so much better
Please all look at us.
Huge if true.
9
36
137
On behalf of all the players, staff & fans at
#ReadingFC
, we’d like to congratulate Leeds! It’s great to see you getting headlines for something other than domestic violence, being poor, harbouring nonce gangs & being so bad at your jobs that we had to close all your mines down.
3
12
146
Just arrived in Leeds. Despite the poverty & despair, it's refreshing to see a community enjoying the simple pleasures in life. Whether it's fishing for shopping trolleys, burning old mattresses or just good old-fashioned noncing, it really is a beautiful city
#lufc
#readingfc
13
20
142
Board - cunts.
Players - cunts.
Manager - cunt.
Fans - cunts.
Just turn the lights off, burn the stadium down, make it an ALDI distribution centre and we can all fuck off and do something else.
2
22
138
Make no mistake, the Thai owners destroyed this club. Yongge and his coterie of crooks are simply fisting the twitching corpse until the tears finally stop coming. Never mind relegation, we should be worried about still existing.
#readingfc
6
14
142
I’m not one to encourage public disorder, but if
#readingfc
fans had even a single bollock between them, they’d be on the pitch doing a group dirty protest on Tuesday night & launching plastic seats at the directors’ box until the manager has gone. Have some pride for God’s sake.
9
14
139
Pre-season predictions for
#readingfc
:
1. McNulty to get 20+ goals.
2. Team to flirt with top six in October, before fading to finish 16th.
3. Reading’s firm to be the most active in UK.
4. No.13 Reading fans everywhere to argue like relentless spastics throughout the season.
7
12
138
I’ve read some bollocks on here today, but this takes some beating.
When
#readingfc
's survival sadly is, and always has been, dependent upon the goodwill & cooperation of just one person, perhaps, just perhaps, campaigns publicly abusing that person and portraying them as a clown weren't the best way to ensure that goodwill & cooperation?
0
0
10
9
4
141
@secondtierpod
As one of the top boys in Britain’s best dressed and most active firm, I think 3rd place is, frankly, an insult.
#ReadingFC
#TheseColourzNeverRun
2
4
139
“Essentially it doesn’t matter if we get relegated. As long as your funds are sheltered offshore & your Bentleys are registered in your children’s name, your tax position should stay the same. They can’t touch your contract. Now, let’s try & keep it to 4 then get down the pub.”
0
21
137
Absolutely stunning satellite picture of the frozen UK this morning. Some beautiful cloud formations in the midlands.
#uksnow
#bigfreeze
3
43
135
Hi
@EFL
I see
#lufc
beat
#readingfc
32,351 to 16,711 today yet seem to be below them in the table. Can you pls explain how this is possible?
2
39
135
“No, it’s Jose - with a hard J. ‘Cos he’s Portuguese. He’s keeping us up.”
0
18
133
Don't have a ticket today, but still going for the day out/trouble. If any Brentford fans want some, we'll be in the Novotel bar & grill from 11am. I'll be the one in the replica top (over a hoody) that has '106 Posse' printed on the back.
#TheseColourzNeverRun
#ReadingFC
#loons
6
6
134
Devastated to hear about
#gunnersaurus
Very sad. I’ll never forget the time we albatrossed Helen Chamberlain at the Mascot Grand National. Seeing his happy face grinning back at me as he relentlessly smashed her back doors in is a moment I will always treasure. Sleep well, king x
2
8
133
#ReadingFC
fans seem happy to sit on their hands while this club sleepwalks into oblivion. Not me. I’ll be holding a one man riot at Coventry (h). Please feel free to join me on the pitch at FT - I’ll be the 7ft lion in a £400 cagoule throwing plastic seats at the Directors’ box.
1
5
133
En-route to Westfield Nando's with the Coach B crew. Lads are up for this one!
#buzzing
#readingfc
#scorpians
#thesecolourzneverrun
#QPR
10
30
133
“Daddy - why do marketing departments think spazclappers improve the atmosphere at football? If anything it’s counterproductive and makes
#readingfc
supporters look like utter flids. Like Fulham.” My 7 year old, literally crying with embarrassment into his pint.
4
18
130