Keri Warbis
@KeriWarbis
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#LoveBullyรักให้ร้ายตอนจบ
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ENGLOT Club Friday FinalEP
• 911216 Tweets
Supreme Court
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#ドンキマジ超感謝祭
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पूर्ण गुरु
• 320643 Tweets
True Guru Sant Rampal Ji
• 266454 Tweets
Megan
• 264467 Tweets
Jill
• 260158 Tweets
SCOTUS
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Chevron
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글래스톤베리
• 112239 Tweets
UP POOM RECONCILE
• 106351 Tweets
#ガルクラ
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ルックバック
• 53640 Tweets
phil
• 52502 Tweets
vernon
• 44929 Tweets
ガールズバンドクライ
• 32508 Tweets
#ساعه_استجابه
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キングダム
• 30085 Tweets
審神者証
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$BUNNY
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Odanz
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Grimes
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Grants Pass
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Jeezy
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Gabigol
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Carney
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Pinned Tweet
"I am no longer a member of the band Spandau Ballet & will not be performing with the band in the future"
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Anyway, bought a comic called ‘Danger Sausage’ from a little kid who was selling their home made comics on my street.
£1 well spent, I’d say.
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What’s Sam Ryder got to do with it all?
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Tom Watson makes joke about Boris Johnson inhabiting ‘Love Yourself Island’.
John Humphrys smugly corrects saying, ‘I think you’ll find it’s just Love Island..’
and then adds
‘..unless you renamed it deliberately..’
Yes, John. It was a JOKE.
HELLO!! ANYBODY THERE?!
#R4Today
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Well. For those of you who were keen to see the next instalment of Danger Sausage…
I was snuggled up in bed (early train to London tmrw) and heard something drop through the letterbox…
So, here we have a one-pager backstory for Danger Sausage and Black Pudding, plus THE SEQUEL.
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Found a photo of me and my boyfriend from the ‘80s in Yorkshire.
(I was having a bit of a blonde phase at the time).
We were together for 7 years.
I’m off to his funeral on the 19th November in Wakey.
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John Humphrys: ‘Was he (Stephen Hawking) cut some slack because he was disabled?’
Yes, John.
He was talking and writing utter bollocks.
But because he was in a wheelchair, loads of people called him a genius.
#R4Today
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Heating’s on.
Oven’s on.
I’ve got a cardi on.
Might as well just put the fucking Christmas tree up and be done with this.
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Gregg Wallace’s son
My Saturday
Lovely time with mum all day apart from when some bald bloke appeared for 90 minutes going on about Total War and not sweating.
Ruined the day.
Catching up on Gregg Wallace’s magnificently Partridgian My Saturday.
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Brighton: Child's comic story about 'Danger Sausage' goes viral - BBC News ♥️
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When you sit through a whole bunch of adverts because you forgot you’re watching a recording.
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@pokedstudiouk
There was one called ‘The Casserole King’ which I (foolishly) left for others to enjoy…
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If Uri Geller is able to make Theresa May not execute Brexit by using his mind, why did he need to write her a letter?
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Marvelling (yet again) that my Russell Hobbs toaster doesn’t actually fit slices of bread into it fully and you have to turn them so the other end toasts.
Nice one, toaster designer person 👍🏻
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Someone just said ‘it’s not rocket surgery’ so this is the phrase now.
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Because I can’t be arsed to go to the shop for a Creme Egg, I’ve just eaten 1kg of sugar.
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Currently boxing seven times a day ahead of my masturbating competition.
Tyson Fury is masturbating seven times a day ahead of Deontay Wilder fight
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Daughter: If you could have any famous person read you a bedtime story, who would it be?’
Mother: It would be a Welsh person. Maybe Cannibal Lectern. You know, him from Silent Lamb.
CANNIBAL LECTERN.
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Reminds me of that time I worked in a greengrocers when I was 17 and found a cupboard nobody had noticed.
17-Year-Old Discovers Planet 6.9 Times Larger Than Earth on Third Day of Internship With NASA
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I bloody knew it.
My body weight is actually the weight of parts of my body.
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The BBC have just emailed me with these two revolutionary tips for our trying times...
🙃
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It’s like some terrifying nightmare.
John Humphrys AND Michael Gove.
Nobody deserves this.
* switches off *
#r4today
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Anyway. Did Roy Orbison really drive all night or was it just that he had those dark glasses on?
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Friday 13th.
Covid 19.
13 + 19 = 32.
3 + 2 = 5.
5 pints for me tonight.
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#DefineYourMusicTasteIn7Bands
1. 7 Bands
2. Aren’t Enough
3. Stupid Fucking Exercise
4. Sod Off
5. With Your Poxy Hashtag
6. You Moron
7. Cheers
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Wow. Have just woken up to start getting ready for work and there’s been so much love for the ‘Danger Sausage’ comic overnight! ♥️
Will try to get around to responding to everyone 🙏🏻
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Great Danger Sausage news…
Amelia is the author’s mother and she has an important update about what her son Red is up to😆
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Had my hair done today, for the first time since December. ❤️
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I think I don’t understand Covid-19 because I didn’t see Covid-18.
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My daughter’s A level results:
A - Psychology
A - Law
A* - Sociology
Soooooo proud!!! Woo!!!
🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂
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Did you know… The Marie Rose sank in the Solent in 1545 due to there being far too much ketchup and mayonnaise on board?
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Found these drugs in the pub toilet.
Do you think I should take them or what?
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I’m finding it very hard to believe that literally everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
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Paul Weller’s Birthday.
The thing I admire about him most is how he keeps reinventing himself a bit like that there Madonna.
#paulweller
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If Priti Patel was a type of biscuit, she’d be a...
...robotic, lying, steaming turd of a disingenuous, soul-free, stale Rich Tea.
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Someone on my street took this picture just now in mid downpour.
The rainbow ends on my house. Just waiting for the gold now. Cheers.
(Pic by Helen Goodwin).
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Haven’t been able to say before, but managed to bag the job that I wanted after many weeks of wondering, efforts, anguish, waiting and several interviews.
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This is one of those storylines where I’d like it wrapped up really soon please. Thanks.
Kirsty howling at the sky.
Philip and Gav shuffled off to prison.
Blake and his other horse friends set free and housed.
All by May. Yep.
#TheArchers
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Loving these pictures of Coronation Street women in Majorca in 1974.
(Bet Lynch won the holiday in a Spot the Ball competition. I won Spot the Ball once and bagged over £30k but that’s another story).
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When you’re working from home and your daughter suddenly brings you this...
(Seasonal tray fully excused).
Bless her ❤️
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On this day 50 years ago I sang with The Wombles in the interval of Eurovision when ABBA won at The Dome in Brighton 💫
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I don’t understand why it’s not technically possible to have two or three remote actors talking to and with each other.
If remote podcast hosts can speak with each other and it be playable, why not actors?
As listeners we’d forgive inferior sound quality for that.
#TheArchers
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Nice to see the subtle art of scribbling on newspaper pictures has not died out. ✊🏻
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You know you’re middle aged when the highlight of your Saturday morning is a butcher’s delivery.
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Reminiscing about the time in War Horse, just as the horse died, someone’s mobile went off and played Dancing Queen. 💅🏻
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This film I’m watching on BBC1 is so shit.
Nothing’s really happened and the lead actor looks permanently fucked off.
It’s all set in a church and the dialogue’s piss poor.
Half of the lines are being read off bits of paper by the actors.
Props to the costume dept though.
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Off to hospital for an op this morn. Been waiting around 3 yrs for this. The Ms are going to look after me when I’m home (up to 3 wks). If my posts become v. odd, it’s the after-effects of general anaesthetic and the painkillers. Probs won’t notice any difference, to be fair. ❤️
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By way of a distraction from the threat of nuclear war, I’ve baked a batch of Latvian piragi for my family. 🇱🇻
(They are bready parcels filled with bacon and onion. The piragi, not my family).
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I was literally just tidying my room and found a whole bunch of photo albums. Had no clue this pic and others were in them.
Funny how stuff happens, eh?
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First waking thought upon getting out of bed: ‘I cannot WAIT til I am getting back in bed tonight.’
It’s this kind of thrusting dynamism that’s got the country where it is today.
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Everyone asking for gas and electricity for Christmas presents?
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A year ago today I ended a relationship with a massively toxic individual (Willem Harvey).
I could write a book, honestly.
This evening, I am going out and will very much celebrate the splendid anniversary with some people who have never, ever let me down.
❤️❤️❤️
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Because the duck billed platypus can both lay eggs and make milk, it's one of the few animals on the planet which can make its own custard.
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I wish they would mention how much money Spiritual Home has made in the past 12 months.
(It’s £12.37).
#thearchers
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How dare my neighbours play loud music that I don’t want to hear, when my loud music that they don’t want to hear is so much better?
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Christmas batch of Latvian piragi made.
(There’s bacon and onion inside). 👌🏻🇱🇻🎄
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Dear Tom,
Apps are expensive.
People selecting what they want in their veg boxes is stupid. You could be left with loads of the stuff no one chooses.
The scale you operate on is madness for both of the above ideas.
Love from Keri.
P.S. Your brain is a turnip.
#thearchers
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Me: I’ve read Kenneth Williams’ diaries.
Daughter: That was a bit invasive of you.
Me:
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There’s a lot to take in here.
Please watch this 35 second Magnum clip. I have not stopped laughing.
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A lovely thing happened.
Daughter signed herself up to an org where she’ll go and spend time with an elderly person in their home to have chats and keep them company.
She was matched with a woman and they met for the first time today.
All went well.
Meeting 2 is next week.💫
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What?
Philip and Gav’s ‘gang’ of workers are slaves who don’t get fed?
Am I off my face?
#TheArchers
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‘It was a convenient place to stay’.
Says man who could literally stay anywhere that he wished to.
#Newsnight
#PrinceAndrew
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This is where I bore everyone again by sharing that I sang with The Wombles in the interval at The Dome in Brighton when ABBA won
#Eurovision
💫
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Just ordered onion rings to be brought to me by somebody on a bicycle in a hurricane 💅🏻
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@SarahDo19882418
Yes. And he was actually giving them away for free. Had a little pile of different ones.
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If you want a monstrous expensive wedding on the other side of the planet, pay for it your sodding selves.
#thearchers
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SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHN HUMPHRYS!!
You’re supposed to be an interviewer, not a gobby twat.
#R4today
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A woman just loudly said, ‘Why don’t you loop me in with that?’ on the train so I’ve been arrested now.
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Son has suggested we watch Jeeves and Wooster from the beginning of the series and I’m not sure I could be very much happier. ❤️
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My
@ocado
delivery driver just now, Adrian, was literally this version of Paul Newman.
So that was nice.
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People merrily renovating whole houses on Instagram from wrecks to perfection whilst here I don’t have the wherewithal, time or energy to touch up the skirting board that’s been unsightly for years is feeling slightly imbalanced. Anyone else?
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Turns out that giving birth to and raising my daughter for 21 years was completely worth it after all…
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