Johnny Galuva
@JohnnyGaluva
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341
Following
703
Media
554
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4,917
This ain't no technological breakdown
UK
Joined June 2014
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"...Then we got out of our limo and strolled right past the 15-hour queue"
#ThisMorning
#WeJumpAnyQueue
77
509
2K
Late on Saturday evenings just before William sneaks off in his Range Rover to get pegged by his mistress, Kate always ensures he's wearing tights.
#PrinceOfPegging
#DuchessofTights
76
244
1K
These are the inconsistencies I've noticed about the
#KateMiddleton
photograph. I've lightened the shadows to better demonstrate.
171
189
1K
By desecrating a memorial to Captain Tom, Maddie Budd ensures that no company or organisation will ever employ her. Nasty, stupid and damned to a life of unemployment. Maddie Budd - remember the name and remember her face.
43
74
313
Whoever suggested and approved Mel Giedroyc as BBC
#Eurovision
commentator should be signing on at Job Centre Plus on Monday.
13
24
310
@HillaryClinton
Fortunately, the American people used their voting rights to prevent you moving into the White House.
47
11
232
Steve Wright is paid £500K a year. In return we get:
- Factoids (dubious nuggets of drivel)
- Badly edited pre-recorded interviews
- Cheesy jingles
- Snippets of guff lifted from tabloids
- Canned applause sound FX
- SW singing over the middle of songs
Bargain.
#DefundTheBBC
70
33
279
@LozzaFox
Wokist interpretation of each word:
Progressive = Censor everything & attack democracy
Inclusive = Bully & harrass dissenters
Diverse = Except diversity of opinion
Equality = Segregate everyone based on race, gender and sexuality
9
47
206
Now that Holly Willoughby has lost her looks and Phillip Schofield is a nonce, can ITV please get rid of them both? There's so much fresh untapped talent out there.
#ThisMorning
25
14
150
@NoContextBrits
When I was a student in Bristol, I did all my shopping at 3am at Asda Cribbs Causeway. Had the whole place to myself - it was bliss.
1
0
111
@BBCNewsnight
@maitlis
@BBCTwo
Every few weeks the BBC clicks its fingers and Tony Blair rises out of his coffin for a cosy chat.
🤮
4
6
103
Banning VPNs is a major hop, skip and jump towards the UK becoming a bona fide authoritarian state like China and North Korea.
6
12
89
@LozzaFox
I'm a straight bloke with a reasonably attractive girlfriend but I would probably nosh
#laurencefox
's knob with the help of some gin.
29
6
77
@BBCNews
It won't be long before they start ransacking libraries and burning books they don't agree with.
The far-left are unable to win democratic elections, so instead they resort to vandalism, violence, suppression and oppression.
13
2
86
@XRLlareggub
Floella Benjamin, Idris Elba, Moira Stuart, Clive Myrie, Romesh Ranganathan, George Alagiah, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Dion Dublin, Alex Scott, Naga Munchetty, Nadiya Hussein and many, many others would probably disagree.
3
3
80
I love Wilko, but it's had supply problems for a while. Wilko's products are generally much higher quality than the cheap 'n' nasty Chinese crap found at B&M and Home Bargains.
5
7
73
I love the fact Jonathan Pie regularly launches harpoons into massively over-inflated egos of the Marxist Twitterati.
7
6
65
Protestors with signs saying 'Reclaim Royal Land' run onto The Mall in front of a marching band. The BBC quickly cuts away - presumably in a vain attempt to maintain the hideous pretence that our monarchical system is universally adored.
#TroopingTheColour
#platinumjubliee
5
38
70
Always brush twice a day, kids, or you'll end up with ridiculous false teeth like Katie Price and her lobster boyfriend.
8
3
68
No joke will ever be funnier than watching 'journalists', pundits and the thought-policing Twitterati go into a complete hysterical meltdown when Trump is re-elected.
#RightWingJokes
4
9
60
I hate archers, The Archers and Jeffrey Archer. They're all deceitful cowards.
I just realised that only applies to archers and Jeffrey Archer but not *The* Archers who, to be fair, are a mixed bag.
9
3
63
The Left: "Priti Patel is accused of bullying and we despise her!" 😠
Also the left: "John Bercow is accused of bullying and we love him!" 🥰
Double standards. Maximum bullshit. Endemic racism = The Left
#IStandWithPritiPatel
8
14
59
Emily Bridges and the pandering media really annoy me. Bridges (a biological male) expects to compete against biological females in sport. If someone says "that's not fair", trans activists try to silence them, destroy their career and even threaten physical violence.
1
9
63
@JeremyVineOn5
Asking if Tony Blair should return as Labour leader is like asking if Gary Glitter should be in charge of a youth club.
3
2
59
@ViewNorthern
@CraigGordon1
@piersmorgan
A woman is someone who was born with the XX chromosome.
No amount of surgery, hormones or make-up can change it.
1
5
53
@ClownWorld_
If this is clever editing, then whoever made this is a production god. If this is real and not a spoof, I literally have no words.
3
1
54
@AlStewartOBE
When your time is up, the news will be announced thusly:
"Alastair Stewart started to decompose today at the age of 102 following an incident involving a hot air balloon and a flock of seagulls"
5
1
55
@JamesDelingpole
I don’t know why costa coffee is so popular - it tastes like hot ditchwater compared to many other coffee brands. Even McDonald’s coffee tastes much nicer than Costa
12
2
50
@ladbible
@gamingbible
It took me several seconds to realise this isn't a spoof filmed on an iPhone! 😮
3
0
53
National Grid warns of power cuts, Meanwhile, every
@Tesco
in the land is so brightly lit, I need sunglasses to prevent a migraine.
I'd much prefer dimmer lights and cheaper prices.
3
14
48
Only Phillip, Holly and their boss, Martin Frizell, were at Westminster Hall. No one else from
#ThisMorning
was with them. They used their media passes to queue-jump and see the Queen's coffin. To justify their visit, they recorded some shoddy content outside on Frizell's iPhone.
4
6
43
@colinbrazierGBN
If his nan wasn't the Queen, Prince Harry would've been the kid at school who ate crayons, couldn't kick a ball and spent most break times standing outside the headmaster's office. With his slower-than-average intellect, today he'd probably be 5 stone heavier and on the dole.
4
0
41
@HeathrowAirport
@IsabelOakeshott
You can help by not hiring weirdos, creeps and other assorted reprobates in your glorified cattle sheds.
3
3
43
@Tat_TvamAsi
People I don't want to see on TV ever again:
Kay Burley
Nish Kumar
Phillip Schofield
Davina McCall
Jeremy Vine
Jon Snow
Simon Cowell
Andrew Marr
The entire cast of EastEnders
Keith Lemon
Sandi Toksvig
Steve Coogan
Vanessa Feltz
Graham Norton
13
6
37
@emilyhewertson
Let's defund the Woke crowd by freezing their trust funds and cancelling their 'freelance' (aka unemployable) media gigs.
5
0
39
@theJeremyVine
If only this couple earned a ridiculous salary for sitting in a
a TV studio reading a teleprompter while caked in make-up, they would be able to afford a posh London townhouse from which they could tap out sanctimonious tweets.
2
0
40
If the BBC was full of people like Yalda Hakim, many people would happily add £20 to their annual licence fee.
2
2
39
@nine_p0und
@JessicaRobbit
Many changing cubicles are covered with only a curtain or door with big gaps above or below allowing perverts plenty of opportunities to take covert pics and vids on their phones
#boycottMarksandSpencer
7
2
34
Modern sex dolls look more and more realistic but they still look weird! Oh wait, this is Katie Price after her latest facelift despite being 'bankrupt'.
9
2
37
@SkyNews
Anyone who questions Twitter's undisclosed reason for the ban is a far right fascist.
4
11
34
@EuroGuido
The EU is a political organisation - not a country. Something Remainers continually screamed at us for years.
0
4
34
I'm willing to bet a lot of money that Phillip Schofield's grooming and sexual relationship with Matthew McGreevy is just the tip of a very big iceberg.
The squeaky-voiced nonce has almost certainly been involved with much worse stuff.
0
1
32
@MahyarTousi
Nah, probably just all the cocaine that's flying around New Broadcasting House. The BBC toilets are used almost exclusively for snorting coke. Those wanting to pass excrement simply do it in front of the cameras and call it 'news'.
1
1
32
@EssexPR
Because having the power to meddle with people's lives makes SAGE loons horny as hell.
0
0
31
I accidentally stumbled across a gay dogging site down a narrow country lane only yesterday. You just don't expect to see two 50 year old men bumming against a Citroen in the middle of the day.
#DoggingTales
9
1
28
Can anyone explain how Holly Willoughby has managed to achieve what she has with very little talent and a lazy eye?
10
2
29
@toryboypierce
I've had two jabs. That's enough.
I will not be having a third, fourth or fifth government-sanctioned jab. Also, I will not tolerate being treated like a pariah for refusing.
1
3
22
@Zielonyornot
@SkyNews
No-one because that would be racist.
Just like how investigating Muslim grooming gangs is considered racist.
1
0
24
@qikipedia
Talk about tempting fate.
The rest of the 1930s saw the death of the King, the abdication of another, the rise of Hitler and the outbreak of the most deadly war in history (to date).
1
0
25
@JustMissEmma
We don't know each other, but I'm in awe of your courage and strength. You are amazing and I'm sending you love and the best of luck! Keep fighting the big fight! 🥊💜
1
0
26
@BBCNews
It means getting rid of antiquated and out-of-touch institutions like the BBC.
Time is running out for Auntie. Tick, tock...
0
2
23
Watching the
#TrumpRally
on Sky News... where the hell does Trump get his energy from? It's like he's plugged into the national grid.
2
2
15
Happy 90th birthday to Tom Baker! Here's my favourite bit of him from
#HIGNFY
in 2008 discussing the Jonathan Ross & Russell Brand prank calls to Andrew Sachs.
1
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23
@ekalbs_
@Thomas44523760
@BBCNews
Not mine.
I don't care whether someone's black, white, straight, gay, trans, Christian or Muslim. If they're nice to me, I'm nice to them.
I certainly don't obsessively categorise them into groups like the left does.
5
0
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@Mendelpol
@LozzaFox
Everything should be debated - it gives us a golden opportunity to discredit and destroy hateful views and opinions with reason and logic.
Banning certain debate topics doesn't solve anything except to drive toxic views underground where they continue to metastasize.
0
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21
@MarcherLord1
The EU is a religion to these people. They don't believe in God or morals, but they fervently believe in the EU.
Sadly for these brainwashed saps, the EU is collapsing in front of their eyes and will soon be gone.
When it does, I will laugh my socks off.
3
3
18
If you think the days of the BBC employing sociopathic sexual fetishists such as Jimmy Savile are over, think again.
0
3
16
Leaked picture of the
#Article50
letter from Boris Johnson asking the EU for a
#BrexitExtension
1
9
22
@ashleyljames
No filming was allowed inside Westminster Hall. Phillip and Holly - who are not journalists - had absolutely no reason to be in there. The rubbish footage the pair recorded outside was filmed on an iPhone by Martin Frizell who is a top ITV executive and boss of
#ThisMorning
.
0
1
21
@DailyDissenter
@AP
Putin is testing the boundaries of what he can and can not get away with. Missiles hitting Poland - whether accidental or not - deserves a fast and brutal response.
Dictators like Putin only understand force.
4
0
20
@TitaniaMcGrath
The Guardian would be hilariously funny if its contributors weren't so dangerously deranged.
1
3
19
Billy Bragg is trending again. Let's remind ourselves of the multi-millionaire ultra-woke socialist arsehole with an ego that vastly displaces his pub beer garden level of musical talent
1
3
20
Stephen Fry, Gary Lineker and Jeremy Vine. What do these three elderly men have in common?
- Millionaire lifestyles
- Colossal egos from years on the telly
- Disconnected from ordinary people
- Believe that they're special and deserving
2
5
20
@Bridgetpee
@Iwontcalmdown
@piersmorgan
In addition to being a "tasty piece of ham", the word 'gammon' is also used as racial slur against predominantly white working class men.
1
0
15
@Barryr27
Of course. Steve Wright's appalling radio show has not changed one bit since the 1980s. He found a formula which massaged his ego and complimented his anodyne personality and has stuck with it.
No-one else in UK broadcasting fits the description of 'dead wood' better than SW.
7
2
18
Despite low turnout in
#Tamworth
, it's very concerning that the far-right
#BritainFirst
party came fourth; beating LibDems and Greens!
Until mainstream parties take serious action on immigration and crime, support for extremists like Britain First will only continue to grow.
35
4
18
@Arron_banks
For the last 25 years, the Tories and Labour have been ignorantly sowing the seeds for a very hard-right party to sweep into government. Those seeds are now germinating.
5
0
19
If Amazon cancels
#ClarksonsFarm
, I will *NEVER* use Amazon ever again. Ebay is already proving to be a better, faster and cheaper alternative, so Jeff Bezos had better think very, very carefully.
1
1
18
@sangaman
@hello_friend007
@TitaniaMcGrath
I'm not offended by the concept. I'm offended by the whole Transgender cult which lies, bullies and punishes those who refuse to accept their assertion that 2+2=5.
0
0
14
Liz Truss should get her hand out of her knickers and start focusing on the
#poundcrash
crisis she created. Where is the PM?
1
4
17
@Tim_R_Dawson
The entire MSM is being blown to pieces by a lethal combination of technological and social change but also the MSM's own arrogance, delusion and top-to-bottom infestation of privately-educated propagandists posing as journalists.
0
3
15