Jess Brohard
@JessBrohard
Followers
29,726
Following
1,567
Media
5,857
Statuses
48,001
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Important question…anyone want some za? Since I’m now a
#PizzaHutPartner
, I’m gonna bless a few of you with some free
@pizzahut
!
Just reply to this tweet and I might slide into your DMs 🥰
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@parlertakes
My creator also gave me an asshole that opens and closes but I still wear pants to cover it
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It happened again. I got asked if I’m a gamer
At a gaming event
Where I am paid to talk about video games
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That does it for my
@CODLeague
season! It was so nice to be back this year, GGs everyone and enjoy the off-season!
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I finally banned one of my long-time Twitch subs because they constantly brought such negativity to my chat - negging me, being overly aggressive, being rude to other viewers and pretending it was a joke, and finally body-shaming me tonight.
Keep your $5 and quit being a dick.
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Just told a guy walking by that I loved his shirt and he was FLOORED
Dudes of twitter: I hear y’all don’t get many random compliments (compared to ladies), is that true? Would you like more or is that weird?
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Mom: your father and I have been married for 40 years, but it went by so fast!!!
Dad:
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Did a thing yesterday 🥰
I got to marry my best friend today!
What a beautiful day and life! ❤️
My heart is full with love.
I love you,
@JessBrohard
!
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I’m not gonna lie, the past few months have been really hard. It’s been awful not being a part of the CDL after two amazing years, and I have no idea what’s next and that scares me.
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“Lifting makes you bulky”
“Eww you look like a man”
“Real women have curves”
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Yes
Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
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scientists probably: how is COVID-19 spreading so fast??
children everywhere:
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When you order before someone else but their food comes out first
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“Life is never completely without its challenges.” -Stan Lee
RIP
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Thanks for the selfie,
@drdisrespect
!
(I decided to be serious in the second pic since Doc doesn’t smile 😂)
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New year, new job! Excited to announce that I'm a Talent Manager at
@GamersOutreach
!
Since 2016 I've streamed for their flagship event Gamers For Giving, and now I get to help support other streamers in their fundraising efforts!
I'm also still available as freelance talent 🙂
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If I ever get married my wedding reception’s gonna have:
1) sundae bar
2) arcade games
3) puppy room
Oh and you’re all invited
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LMAO meant absolutely no disrespect to
@SimpTheSickJoke
with the phrase “it’s gonna be a tall order” - just meant it’s gonna be hard to play better than
@eUnited
!
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I squatted 145 (aka my body weight) for the first time today! I was a bit shaky on the last 2 reps, and I know that some of you can squat a lot more than this. But it’s a personal best for me, & something I’ve been working toward for the 6 months I’ve been lifting. So I’m happy!
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Frizzy hair, no makeup, benzoyl peroxide on my pimples - do you think I’m ugly? I don’t think so.
I think I’m smart, hardworking, kind, and empathetic.
I don’t need you to think I’m pretty. I’m ok with myself and I’m sorry if you’re not 🙃
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Everyone else got THE OUTFIT so of course I had to get THE OUTFIT too 🥰
Fanhouse saw it first
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Sick of being under appreciated and disrespected, so that’s not gonna happen anymore
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Listen I don’t care what race, religion, gender, etc you are. We only have to agree on one simple thing:
Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 is a perfect movie.
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@pokimanelol
Wait so you don’t have to insult someone’s appearance, gender, sexuality, etc. just because you disagree with them?
I think this is gonna be news to a lot of keyboard warriors out there
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I’ve been wearing makeup once a week or less these days and it’s SO FREEING.
I used to get called ugly on social media when I posted no-makeup selfies, and in my 20s it didn’t feel great. But I’m almost 32 and I don’t have the energy to put up with anyone’s bullshit anymore 😇
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My shoulders looking proper beefy though
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HOT TAKE
Strawberry milk might be better than chocolate milk
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Congrats
@eUnited
, your 2019 Call of Duty World League Champions!!!
🥇
@Clayster
🥇
@aBeZy
🥇
@Arcitys
🥇
@Prestinni
🎖
@SimpXO
#CWLChamps
|
#CWLPS4
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Time for a cheeky lil thyroidectomy, see you on the other side!
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I seldom force string
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I’m wearing pants at Major V but for Champs I think I’ll put on a SKRRRRRRRT
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Good thing I’m never sitting down on broadcast in this skirt, otherwise the stage lights wouldn’t be the only ones getting flashed 😂😂
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Accidentally got a new PB on deadlift cause I thought the red plates were 25 lbs - they’re 25 kg 😂
So this is 175 lbs total x 4 reps 🙂
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@JakeSucky
It’s always the ones crying about “cancel culture” who have something in their past to hide 🤔
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Probably just gonna be Spider-man again this year cause I'm lazy
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Ladies if he:
- can’t tell you where he was or what he was doing
- stands around pretending to help
- vents way too often
- always tries to turn the blame back on you
he’s not your man, he’s an impostor
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If I blocked you, don't worry - it's just that I have no respect for you or anything you say
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I’m healing up nicely from my surgery yesterday, and I’m SO happy. It’s way easier to breathe now that my thyroid is no longer crushing my trachea! And I can comfortably wear chokers again!!
So so so so grateful 🦋
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When talent ask each other questions on broadcast, it’s not because they don’t know the answer - it’s because they want the audience to hear the answer.
1. You missed my point entirely, I'm not a caster so I'm not casting anything. I'm a host.
2. I am a host. Did you think for a second that maybe I did know the mechanics but I was asking the other casters questions about the boss because idk, they're experts or something?
Ltr
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you’re in your 20s and you’re struggling, it’s ok - things get WAY better after 30
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Haven’t worn makeup since CWL Finals last month 😂😂 ready for Champs!!!
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Had to buy a formal dress earlier for an event - nailed it?
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You guys...I just found proof that
@OpTic_Crimsix
didn’t diss me after his interview with the fist bump - I just wasn’t ready for it 🤣
(Fist bump fail captured by
@Dubshakey7
📸)
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Finally decided to launch a Patreon and do monthly photo content - sneak preview of this month’s Halloween shoot! 🕸
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Tbh I’m just looking for someone who wants to do a Marvel Cinematic Universe marathon in chronological order with me
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First pic is today, second is August 2018 - accidentally did the same pose in the same bikini and realized it’s kind of a before and after! Been lifting for 6 months now and I don’t think I’m gonna stop
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If you can reply to this tweet, it’s cause I think you’re the GOAT
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What’s a girl gotta do to get someone to tongue-punch her fartbox around here??
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Not gonna lie I’m really into this whole pirate look today
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If you’re looking for the world’s most jacked bridesmaid, look no further
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Fantastic day 1 of
#CWLFortWorth
! Thank you CoD community for continuing to be so welcoming and awesome - see you tomorrow!!
#CWLPS4
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