Jerome Chisikwa
@JeromeChisikwa
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Marxist-Leninist and Fanonian Revolutionary. Fearless, Radical, and Militant Pan-Africanist, and Writer.
Lilongwe, Malawi
Joined April 2015
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There’s a humanitarian crisis involving millions in Ethiopia’s Tigray region, there’s a civil war that has left tens of thousands dead and displaced in DRC, yet only a handful of Africans are talking about these. Africans will make noise for Palestine and Israel not their own!
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The award for the 'Best League Title Celebrations Ever' has to go to them, from the day they won it, fans trekked onto the pitch to celebrate with players, to tens of thousands of fans who took to the streets to celebrate by waving the light of their phones in unison and now this
Trabzonspor celebrated their Turkish League title with an incredible boat parade 😯
(marek_hamsik_17_official/IG)
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We’re not celebrating enough the excellent job that MANEB Executive Director, Prof. Dorothy Nampota, is doing. MANEB has gone digital; there are no leakages or cheating; results are being released timely etc. This woman deserves national honors. She has been far too excellent!👏🏿
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Munthu osawadziwa atha kumaona ngati ndi atsogoleri amzeru, koma ayi ndithu, zidebe zenizeni.
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Or, he clearly failed himself? That plane wasn’t airworthy—a fact that Chakwera, Chilima himself, and the authorities at MDF knew. Yet, they did nothing about it. Worse for him, he prioritized corruption at MDF over helping them acquire new military arsenal. Let’s be guided!
Clearly, the report tells us that as a country, we failed SKC. Utterly so. What a sad ending of what was once a great man!
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Malawi under Chakwera:
No passports
No driver’s license
No national identity card
No fertiliser
No forex
No rain
No leadership
Just prayers and spiritual vibes at State House.
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The judgement is a pain in the ass for the gay community... but they are used to that.
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You’re out of your damn mind if you think this Saulos Chilima chap is the lesser evil, he is the evil itself. He’s a Blantyre market Dobadoba that went to high school, Bakili Muluzi Pro Max. His kind must be nowhere near the Presidency of the Republic of Malawi!
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Listening to Kuimba 1 and 2, I can confidently say Evison Matafale is, without a doubt, the greatest artist Malawi has ever seen. He wasn't just a musician; he was a prophet, a revolutionary, and a liberator. It's incredible how his music still resonates with the Malawi of today.
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Tweeting from my laptop.
I had too much fun yesterday and I ended up losing my phone. Calling it now, the new owner on the other end says “phone ndatola, kodi ukufuna undiuze kuti chani?” 😭😭LMAO
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I don’t follow Malawian artists that much, but I like
@CharismaMadness
’s personality. He’s one of the most mocked or trolled artists out there but he doesn’t take offense everytime he’s mocked; instead, he responds with lightheartedness. That is a guy most of us should emulate.
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One thing Twitter Malawi must learn from Kenya’s Twitter is that, this can be a platform for constructive and productive discussions and connections. This toxic behaviour of overly focusing on stupid issues (nudes, trolling etc.) won’t take us anywhere. Kenya has set an example.
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Bakili Muluzi had Atupele running his corrupt errands. Peter Mutharika had Tadikira living extravagantly like the son of Elon Musk. Chakwera has his son Nick undeservedly being awarded govt tenders. Perhaps, it’s time to trust the Presidency to someone with no family or children.
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His Excellency Dr. Lazarus ‘Zuneth’ Chakwera, Commander of the Malawi Corruption Forces (MCF)!
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Twitter Malawi simps are surprised that an older, rich, very hairy, and rough-skinned man (like the Biblical Esau), who is built like a hippopotamus, is chewing the baddies they shamelessly simp over. Are you youngins really that naive?
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Chakwera was lucky that he inherited a country in a very bad state from APM. To gain public approval, he only needed to do the bare minimum: improve a bit on the economy, reduce corruption and improve on governance. Only for him to worsen everything.
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He had the audacity to say “it's all fun and games until it happens to you” when it was actually fun and games with his stupid ass friends. Are these ruffians doing drugs or what? Because we don't expect such grade A stupidity from sane adults.
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In 4 years, President Chakwera has:
1. Lost Sidik Mia, his VP at MCP.
2. Lost Chilima, his VP at OPC.
3. Lost Lingson Belekanyama, MP, his then Minister of Local Govt.
4. Faced COVID-19.
5. Faced Cyclone Freddy.
Regardless of his way of handling things, Laz has been very unlucky.
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In 2007, South African gun violence claimed the life of the greatest reggae artist to ever come out of the rainbow nation, Lucky Dube. 15 years later they've taken that of their greatest ever rapper, AKA. Proving yet again that on gun violence, S.A is an outlier, just like USA.
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This place is so hilarious, two retards who met in rehab are exposing each other on the timeline. Their psychiatrist would be so ashamed.
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They don’t upgrade public hospitals cause they seek medical treatment abroad. They don’t upgrade public schools cause their kids learn abroad. They refuse to replace resources that deserve to be in the museum, like that dornier, because of greed. When will our politicians change?
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Its very sickening for DPP officials' kids like you, who were moving with bodyguards and in plateless cars to be complaining about the current government's abuse of Tax Payers money. This cause we know its not coming from the patriotic side of the heart but jealousy its not you.
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In my short career as a boyfriend, I’ve learnt that you cannot control who approaches your girlfriend, especially if you’re dating a very fine girl. However, it’s up to her to entertain those advances or not. If she’s doing the former, leave. If the latter, she’s a keeper.
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@Feyenoord
Blud really hates Ajax that he is completing his hattrick on different matchdays against them. Postponement or not, they're not escaping him😭😭😭😭
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Easily, arguably, the most corrupt lawyer Malawi has ever had —a lawyer who pioneered all forms of notorious lawyering. Ironically, and true to his clever maneuvers, he would go on to serve as Malawi’s Attorney General and Minister of Justice and Constitutional Affairs...
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.
@Crispy_malawi
is one of my favourite artists in the country. What I like the most about him is that he’s a nonconformist, with his own kind of trap music. He makes music that the majority in the ghetto can relate. The industry gatekeepers can go to HELL, A'ba.lè tilowa HEAVEN!
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People on here weren’t raised well by their parents or guardians, it shows. Growing up, we were told to not only receive but be thankful for any gift from anyone. Twitter Malawi makes it look like everyone is on Thomson Mpinganjira’s networth with their Beverly Hills standards.
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A lot of these Malawian artists, both new cats and oldheads have a lot to learn from Tay Grin. Grin is the only celebrity who knows when to speak, what to respond to, and how at what time. The way he carries himself is top shelf, in short, Grin is Malawi's one and only celebrity.
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Anything can become a leader in this country.
Former street kid, Isaac Jomo Osman has been elected deputy mayor for Blantyre City.
In reaction to his election Jomo Osman of Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) has assured of sanity and security for residents.
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Malawi at the moment:
No forex
No fuel
No electricity
Businesses closing down
Highest inflation in years
But President Chakwera continues to satisfy his insatiable appetite for foreign trips, despite these trips being very expensive costing taxpayers a colossal amount of money.
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Lilongwe men we're not good looking, YES! Another thing we're sure of is that you're neither ugly nor poor. Nevertheless, the one thing truly lacking in you is intelligence, your subpar grammar conceals whatever it is you're boasting about. In short, you're ugly intellectually.
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Women aged 18, 19, and early 20s don’t want to date men of similar age. They prefer men (blessers) in their 30s-40s. The same women will come to scold the blessers when they’re (retired from sugar babying) in the late 20s-30s . That’s the hypocrisy Jesus Christ preached against.
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.
@LAZARUSCHAKWERA
, have you seen what is happening in Kenya? You might think Malawian youths are stupid or dumb, but your time is also coming. We will speak and our voices will be heard loudly, just like how we did during the previous regime of your predecessor.
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Congratulations to the brother and comrade in arms,
@princestevens1
, for bringing the MSc in Informatics to the revolutionary circle. Academic (knowledge) matters are a very crucial cornerstone, not only for our personal growth, but in our fight for a better Malawi!
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This is so sad. I personally know the lad; he is the immediate past Students’ Union President. I also know the lady because when the said incident happened, she got in touch with one of my friends.
All I can say is, it’s very, very important for a man to have sexual discipline.
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Tonse Alliance (MCP) and Chakwera have undoubtedly failed us, but the thought of going back to DPP is traumatising. The lawlessness, corruption, the barbarism of DPP cadets, etc. will make it very hard to welcome them back. Those guys were the worst of the worst.
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We need Daud Suleman and MACRA to have the same energy they had towards MultiChoice Malawi (DSTV) directed towards TNM and Airtel Malawi. You can’t be a communications regulator and turn a blind eye to incompetent services from mobile network companies.
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This is why Malawi has been having shit leaders!
We must never be fixated on having a President or Vice President solely based identity factors like gender, tribe, region, or religion. The primary consideration must be competency and qualifications, above everything else.
Gender equality campaigners are lobbying President Lazarus Chakwera to appoint a female Vice President to replace the late VP Saulos Chilima.
The public eagerly await the appointment of the new Vice President following the death of Chilima in a plane crash last week on June 10.
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Next time, let’s send Malawians of Malawian origin. They must send scouts in the lakeshore region, where we have too many excellent swimmers, some natural and some aided by Juju!
Malawian swimmer Filipe Gomes has failed to qualify for the second round of the 50-meter men's freestyle at the 2024 Paris Olympics, currently underway in France.
By Norbert Jameson
#MBCDigital
#Manthu
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It’s because they played so hard to get during their prime (20s), to niggas who would’ve easily settled down with them, for players. Now they are in search-and-rescue mode. If you’re seeing a 30-year-old who is loving you that much, just know you’re her Captain Save-a-Ho!
Koma these thirty year olds make good girlfriends 👍👍matukutuku ayitu.. Chikondi basi
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I’ve watched the Times Exclusive interview with Wisely Phiri, Group Managing Director for Sparc Systems Ltd. It’s a shame we’re underutilising him as a country. They’re giving IT-related contracts to Chakwera’s son and cronies, leaving very able people like him. A sad nation!🙄🚮
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Malawian artists want to be treated like international artists, yet they look and behave like Mtandire street kids.
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The greatest manager to ever grace Malawi's domestic football. In 5 years, he has won everything and beyond with
@nyasabigbullets
. Tactically, administratively, and psychologically he has been no match for his counterparts. The great Kalisto Pasuwa ladies and gentlemen!
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O what a wonderful diurnal course for the Chisikwas, for they have added a newish fellow in the graduates section of the kinfolk. Today I have graduated from the University of Malawi, Chancellor College, with a double major (B.A) in English and Philosophy.
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In democratic Malawi, there isn’t a president for whom Joseph Nkasa hasn’t composed a praise and worship song: Bakili Muluzi, Bingu, Joyce Banda, APM, and now Chakwera. Nkasa is an artist who stands for nothing but his own belly, despite being a great composer and lyricist.
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I blame Peter Mutharika and the DPP regime for Dan Lufani’s arrogance towards graduates. They made that Che M’baluku mjomba a lecturer at the infamous Mombera University. How can he respect degree holders when he was once a lecturer with his illiterate ass?
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The Constitution of the Republic states that the President should appoint a replacement for the Vice President within 7 days after the office falls vacant. Thus, by June 19, we will have a new Vice President. This is a lesson for us all:
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@AfricaFactsZone
The man who has been in power for so long to the point he has forgotten that when he talks about the previous Governments he actually means his governments.
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Ironic, coming from a man who stood accused of conniving with Malawi’s notorious state capture mastermind, Zuneth Sattar, to defraud the MDF of billions of taxpayers’ money.
May he rest in peace, but may we never over-glorify the man. We risk wrongly inspiring other politicians.
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Machinjiri twitter is tweeting from the land of Joe Biden and Mark Zuckerberg, and all the sudden they're feeling like the Jack Dorsey of Twitter Malawi.
We spent so long building Twitter MW just for Facebook savages to come tear it down with mob mentality when they don't agree with a tweet 😤
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The search and rescue operation for the VP has been suspended. We’ve been saying that the only things MDF soldiers are good at are consuming alcohol, sex, and corruption. You don’t listen. In short, we don’t have a functioning military in this country. It’s stupid to think we do.
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I’ve been offline lately. One of the hot topics I’ve heard outside social media, is that of the Bakili Muluzi TV guy. As illiterate as his propaganda is, and as devoid of proper research and riddled with gossip as it is, most Malawians take it as gospel truth, even the learned.
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Tweeting from my phone.
After spending over 54 hours, negotiating with the new owner of my phone, who was standing firm on the ‘chotola salanda’ Malawian adage, he finally gave in and returned the phone—of course, in exchange for a reasonable amount of money.
Tweeting from my laptop.
I had too much fun yesterday and I ended up losing my phone. Calling it now, the new owner on the other end says “phone ndatola, kodi ukufuna undiuze kuti chani?” 😭😭LMAO
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I’m taking a 21-day sabbatical from all of social media. I would like to write a research paper of no less than 20,000 words by 30 September. The plan is to write 1,500 words per day—doable, but very demanding (It’ll require strict time management and discipline).
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President Chakwera's family and close associates have so far been the masterminds of corruption and impunity in the country, the country has witnessed a litany of their cases in the two years that Chakwera has been at Kamuzu palace.
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@elNduna
Are you that dumb yourself? It can't be someone else's opinion when it's me posting on my account.
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I notice that my peers from the University of Malawi (UNIMA) tend to recycle the same partners from our time there. It seems they are only interested in dating each other’s exes. Are you all afraid of new, beautiful and exciting challenges at MUBAS, MUST, KUHES, MZUNI, or LUANAR?
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This is why it is important to live life to the fullest: love more, drink beer, have more sex with your partners, and leave a great legacy for your family and the country at large. All the while, be humble, for humanity doesn’t revolve around you.
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“freezed” should be “frozen.”
“travels” should be “travel.”
“financial year,in” should be “financial year, in” to include a space after the comma.
Malawi's economy is bad, but your grammar might need it's own bailout
@NationOnlineMw
.
President Lazarus Chakwera has freezed all international travels involving himself, Cabinet ministers and all government officials effective immediately.
He says this will be effective until the end of the current financial year,in March 2024.
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TB Joshua was a shameless religious fraud and con artist. Many rational minds have known this before
@BBCAfrica
came with The Cult documentary. It's only you, with your gullible amnesia and unnatural allegiance to fake prophets and pastors that didn't know this. You're so stupid!
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Chakwera inherited a crumbling economy, which was only being kept at an equilibrium rate, from APM and has made it very worse. As we approach elections next year, we will be at a crossroads: should we maintain him and MCP or go back to APM and DPP? We’ll be doomed, either way.
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Dr. Saulos Chilima pioneered a different kind of politicking that has reshaped Malawi’s political landscape—a never-before-seen (Kufera mbendera) politicking that won’t be forgotten anytime soon. Albeit, he did have faults too many, just like any of us. Rest well, son of Malawi!
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These gender equality campaigners are not truly out here for equality or equity, no one should ever lie to you. They only want equality in posh areas. We will start taking them seriously the moment they start lobbying for the same in rough areas, like the MDF, MPS, Prisons, etc.
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There's this economics professor from the Malawi University of Business and Applied Sciences (MUBAS), Betchani Tchereni. A media magnet, frequently contacted to comment on economic affairs but his takes always leave me dizzy. Sometimes I suspect his professorship is honorary.
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You are 'supposedly' a wealthy 40 or 42-year-old man who's a Ward Councillor who also happens to harbor bigger political ambitions for a parliamentary seat, and you are out here on social media being rattled by kids half your age? Who are you, sir?
@BibakumanaJado
Let me tell you my brother. Swed won’t even have an idea about this issue because the time we brought in the system he may not have been around Malawi. I was privileged to design and make the number plates and even make my own drivers licences and tweak the designs to make them
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Mr.
@WNyamilandu
, you're behaving exactly like a post-independence African dictator. Your prolonged stay at FAM has negatively impacted the country’s football. Why can't you bow out with some respect reserved for the little things you've offered to FAM in your 19-year tenure?
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Some friend of mine asked, “Why are you still critical of the former Vice President Dr. Saulos Chilima, even in death?”
My response was, “If we’re to speak no evil of the dead, then we must close history departments; stop writing memoirs, biographies, and autobiographies, too.”
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I am convinced most of these women are unfit for any human relationship.
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There's a BIG risk in NOT knowing your HIV status. Walk into any government or private health facility and get tested. Remember it's free!
Kodi Bae adayezetsa (Has your partner gone for HIV testing and counselling yet?).
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Malawi’s gays: we want the courts to decriminalize same-sex relationships. We want freedom. Our bodies are our bodies and we must do whatever the hell we want with them.
The high court:
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Tsiku lomwe dolo zikwi zisanu ndi zinayi kudzaso mphambu zina ziwiri adabadwa, sitingagone m’nyumba. Tigona panja!
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Dear friends and fellow seekers of knowledge, if you have time, I recommend Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics (an introductory guide to economics). I'm not an economist, but I strongly recommend. Its easy to understand and well laid out for everyone.
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June of 2024 has been the coldest June in recent memory for Malawi, if not ever, literally and figuratively. Malawi has lost so many of her sons and daughters. She has lost history and the future. May the rest of the year be fair, starting with this new month of July. Amen! 🇲🇼🙏🏽
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I’m at this place, alone, then this lady comes to sit on the opposite table, seemingly looking like she is returning from work. She says “Hi there!”, then tells the barman to bring Kuche-Kuche, and orders pork braai....
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If that is the DPP they want us to return to, then God forbid!
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FINALLY!👏
This is one of those very excellent and commendable moves by Dr. Lazarus Chakwera’s government. We expect to be seeing more of this, so that the government can save a lot of taxpayers money from politically connected businessmen, cartels and middlemen.
A block train by Nacala Logistics carrying fuel has arrived at National oil Company of Malawi (Nocma) station in Lilongwe for the first time after 21 years, re-launching a cheaper way of transporting the fuel to the Capital City.
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Congrats to our new Vice President, Dr. Michael Usi. This was the only logical choice by Chakwera, inasmuch as honouring Chilima’s legacy and the Tonse Alliance agreement is to go by. We hope that he delivers and never finds himself in cahoots with Sattar, like his late boss.
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Tonse Alliance breakaway: MCP's long-standing plan that will backfire!
By Jerome Chisikwa.
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We have to be brutally honest with ourselves as a country. What has happened to Vice President Chilima and nine others was so very very unfortunate, yet so avoidable if we were a decent Republic. Why have we chosen to be this degenerate ungovernable country since multiparty?
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I’ve never understood why Christians demonize Judas so much. He was just doing what was foretold. He literally followed God’s supposed plan. If Judas had made another choice, what kind of world would we be living in today? He had to betray that nigga, and take the L for everyone.
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the world will quickly move on with its business when you’re dead. They will cry and say good things about you, but after you are buried, they’ll replace you. We are only useful while alive.
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Corruption at the Malawi Defence Force (MDF) must be treated as a national disaster as Billions of taxpayers money continue to be stolen with extreme impunity. The
@ACBMalawi
and all Anti-Corruption actors must pounce on those involved and make a momentous example out out them.
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Kuche Kuche is for soft ass niggas. Special Brew and Doppel Munich is the shit for patriots, revolutionaries, and real niggas!
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Tikapita out tikumataya maphone, pano tikumamwera panyumba.
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I'm still puzzled by why the Malawi govt is sending people to Israel, which is in the middle of war. Yes, unemployment is really high, but with the conflict between Israel and Palestine, it's not just risky for those going—it's also affecting how others see us diplomatically.
The Malawi government has struck a deal with Israel to send 221 youths to Israel, supposedly to toil in the fields. Foreign Affairs Minister
@nancygtembo
, do you not see Israel is at war with Hamas? Is this really the right moment? Our leaders seem to be missing a thinking cap.
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We were there when Messi had no international trophy and Cristiano Ronaldo fans used to hurl insults at us, messilessly. This tragic ending of Ronaldo’s international career is so sweet to us, Messi fans who were sent to hell only for Messi to redeem us at the very end of it all.
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@KondwaniMunth11
Please for God's sake, don't be ignorant! Where have I implied that MCP or Tonse Alliance is any better?
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Pay closer attention, he says it is against his will, not God’s will. That’s how religious con artists like Bushiri play with the gullible’s minds. The next step, he’ll say “God has revealed to me that I must run for Presidency to rescue Malawi. I’m obeying God’s will, not mine.”
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To TB Joshua's followers:
We're very sorry for doubting your spiritual daddy. We've now seen the light. TB Joshua was a true prophet. He miraculously cured people of leg cancer from dog bites, healed those with HIV from mosquito bites, and Tuberculosis caused by bedbugs.
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He is another big fraud that one. Not long ago he was the governor of the Reserve Bank and he left it in a mess, the effects we are still experiencing now. But because Malawians are that much gullible, they'll fall for his innocent demeanour, and polished intellect.
Seen Kabambe talking about the Malawian economy state and I gotta say, am tripping for this niggas’ intellect.
If he would actually implement these things if voted for, we’d be good
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If your father/mom is a politician or you're related to any of them, don't come here threatening people trying to hold them accountable for incompetence, you're not the ones Malawians voted for, you're just the lucky sperm club benefiting from their lot of undeserved privileges!
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No movie is as quotable, with a commanding protagonist delivering such monumental and artistic political and revolutionary messages as 'V for Vendetta.'
Wishing you a revolutionary Guy Fawkes Day and Night!
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I don’t think all these weddings are about love. The economy of Nyasaland is just very bad, and people are simply looking for housemates to share bills and other responsibilities. I could be wrong—what do I know.
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But as his mafia lawyering antics would will it, he would be released on bail pending appeal.
That is a brief career story of one Ralph Kasambara, who has just passed on, and quite a number of Malawians are proclaiming him as the hero of all lawyers and a bona-fide citizen.
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There is a saying that I like so much, it says “mamuna mzako mpachulu, umalinga utakwerapo”. This is a very wise saying. It teaches us respect and to never underestimate our peers. Everyone has his or her own unique skills in the world. It’s not wise to look down on one another.
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