Jennifer
@JennSalerno310
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His journey to sobriety starts now
"I'm addicted to the playoffs"
J.D. Martinez expresses his desire to win
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Watched My Cousin Vinny last night and now today’s fit feels very Marisa Tomei inspired
#youblend
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No more trash dating apps. I’m wearing this out for now on and taking shit into my own hands
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Off to disappoint 60 of my closest relatives about my life choices at our first ever family reunion
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Oh hello couch and lots of comfy clothes for the next 5 days 😍
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Memorial Day Weekend in your 40s hits different. Baby shower followed by PJs by 5:00 pm and a glass of wine. Only slightly jealous of everyone having fun
#MDW2023
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Good morning to “all the dads on X” except for that one
@JennSalerno310
@PalmTreeMom
Not for the kids in my classroom, just kids and their dads on X.... you could just say that too... or sit up, or don't and just be honest that you like how you look and others do too.
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Who else is ready for a Sunday afternoon of playoff football on the couch to just start already?
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Unfortunately, I seem to be having the wrong type of Dry January this year but I’m crushing it
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The NFL really needs to relax with the Taylor Swift nonsense.
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I don’t mean to brag but I just bought a carton of eggs for 7 bucks so if anyone is looking for a sugar mama, call me
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There isn’t enough wine in the world to make this week better but I’m damn well gonna sit here and try 🍷
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Probably got it from sucking himself off
Tests showed that Marcus Stroman has a right rib cartilage fracture. There is currently no timeline for his return.
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Fun fact: if you come home from another Mets loss and immediately pour a drink, you may still be able to end the night in a good mood
#mets
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Was a rough weekend but we’re moving on and smiling through it💪 🙏🏻
You ever need a hug, to be told everything is going to be OK, and a serious kick in the ass all at once?
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Always repping the
#Mets
while still continuing to be pissed they took trash McCann over Realmuto
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Cool weather, long sleeve shirt baseball is my fav kind of baseball. A win would be nice too
#lgm
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Gonna have to disagree, Charles
It has to suck being a Knicks AND Mets fan. That is way too much orange and blue to wear all the time.
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The only season that should exist besides summer is hoodie szn
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If drinking vodka sodas alone while watching true crime docs on a Saturday night isn’t peak singledom, I don’t know what is
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Mets might not look good these days but I’m still out here doing ok 💅🏻
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How people continue to support Marcus Stroman is beyond me. Guy loves to say awful things about others then preach “don’t tear people down”. 🤡
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My entire mood for the last two weeks in one look. Is it Friday yet?
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Now I understand why the Mets do so poorly every year. They have all those days off between October and March.
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Remember when the Mets had a shot last year and they went for Naquin, Vogelbach and Givens instead? Good times.
#mets
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Texas to the Mets this year, “give me your tired, your broken and your old…”
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I’m more concerned that he doesn’t have a dick than he went swimming
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Wow, Jacob DeGrom and my ex have so much in common. Both hot. Both pitchers. Both fucking left with no explanation.
#lgm
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If the Mets could just get hitters out, field the ball, get on base and score runs, they’d be unstoppable 🙄
#lgm
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Most wonderful time of year… Christmas party time 🎄
#drinkingforjesus
#christmastime
#ChristmasParty
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New drinking game alert: take a shot every time they mention Taylor Swift tonight. You’ll probably die but then you’ll never have to hear her name again so there’s that
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When it’s Christmas card picture day but it’s also game day so you have to mix a little glam with the Jets
#TakeFlight
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My explaining to my mom why I’m 41, single and no kids …
Mookie was blunt about his postseason performance
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Valentines Day is coming. In case anyone is looking, I’m a size 7 day beach vacation and a bag of Reese’s hearts.
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Oh shut your leprechaun looking ass up, Martino.
Pimp imagery is problematic on so many levels. Let's think about it for 2 seconds. Can we please not make this a big part of the 2024 Mets' imagery? Cue replies about woke culture blah blah. I don't care, I'm right about this.
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Jerry Jones is currently in the locker room cutting sleeves off all of McCarthy’s sweatshirts
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Update: all doors of my wine advent calendar have been opened 🍷🎄
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If only I got drilled as much as the Mets do but also, this shirt is great.
#LGM
#MetsTwitter
@athletelogos
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Just spent 65 bucks on a dating app and 5 mins in I got a message, “my condolences for being a Mets fan” and now I need a refund
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So it looks like my schedule is pretty empty this October if anyone wants to go on a date
#lgm
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Personally I’d prefer a stiff groin when a guy is rounding the bases but what do I know
Buck Showalter says Brett Baty's groin stiffened up on him running the bases:
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People walking around the city with their medals on Marathon Monday is the most annoying flex. Congrats, you ran 26 miles for fun yesterday. Well, I watched 26 straight episodes of Real Housewives so I’d say my stamina is better
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I’m sorry, what?
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I should probably start drinking now
Carlos Mendoza says that Adrian Houser will start for the Mets on Wednesday
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Hahahaha he really thinks someone is going to pay him more to be the most toxic, overrated player on their team? Good luck, bro
Marcus Stroman has opted out of his contract with the Cubs that had $21 million remaining for next season. He's now a free agent, per
@JonHeyman
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The judgments and criticisms that come from grown men and complete strangers on here are wild. Imagine I stopped by your page to comment, “your receding hairline is too much” or your “gut is too big”. How about, “nice micropenis”. Knock the shit off or keep scrolling. ✌️
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Happy Father’s Day! Especially to all the single dads out there. I’m available
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When my ex mysteriously left me a year ago, he left behind a fridge full of his favorite drinks. I’ve never touched them because they remind me of him. Today, I finally caved and drank one. Everything makes sense now. They’re gross and he left me because he has shitty taste
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😂
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