Jaqualine 🇦🇪🇷🇺 🇳🇬
@JaqualineDXB
Followers
3,210
Following
2,808
Media
725
Statuses
11,984
I eat my salad without dressing: catererglobal • @jumboworld •Job SCOUT • MBA Human resources • Tottenham Fan • J. Cole
Two blocks away, East West End
Joined April 2020
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Hassan Nasrallah
• 506932 Tweets
حسن نصر
• 428138 Tweets
تشيلسي
• 376567 Tweets
ليستر
• 375864 Tweets
Palmer
• 251200 Tweets
Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj
• 198820 Tweets
Chelsea
• 178087 Tweets
Sanchez
• 128645 Tweets
سوريا
• 109476 Tweets
巨人優勝
• 108145 Tweets
ジャイアンツ
• 99917 Tweets
フリーレン2期
• 96358 Tweets
#内村プロデュース
• 64810 Tweets
Brighton
• 64521 Tweets
#CHEBHA
• 57477 Tweets
Newcastle
• 53458 Tweets
Leicester
• 46553 Tweets
Sancho
• 46128 Tweets
Saka
• 42517 Tweets
#踊る大捜査線
• 41491 Tweets
#KC_HBD
• 37519 Tweets
阿部監督
• 37396 Tweets
#岸優太誕生祭2024
• 23974 Tweets
Martinelli
• 20854 Tweets
Sundowns
• 19236 Tweets
Foden
• 19130 Tweets
Brentford
• 14977 Tweets
Madueke
• 14265 Tweets
岸くん29歳
• 10329 Tweets
Calafiori
• 10023 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Dad told me that I could have an argument with people, but not necessarily insult them, Whenever I’m online, I don’t forget that.
27
77
439
@maziechidiime
Dear Igbo ladies,
Never you marry an Igboman that cannot tap palmwine.
Remember how important palmwine is to the Igbo culture.
Your kids deserve a father that is well knowledgeable on Igbo culture, not a "CITY BOY".
138
256
2K
@Obianuju23
If i spen N5.6m for hearing aid, then anyone plays Shalipoppi music close by....its an easy Call To Glory..
80
98
989
@Cruella_D_vel
Someone mistakenly sent 30k back then in 2017 to my account… on 27th Ish (salary never drop )
I ‘borrowed’ 5k from there, next minute a call came threatening me to return the money else I’ll d!e.
I Ran & withdrew the rest & I still never d!e.
If he hadn’t threatened, I for pity
105
56
882
@maziechidiime
Tap palmwine.... No
Hunt antelope..... No
Weave basket........ No
Roof our thatch kitchen....No
We deserve better.
I can take online classes on how to cook, but Okonkwo doesn't hold online classes on Palmwine tapping techniques.
96
77
813
@ballow_5
@Cruella_D_vel
Ok. Tell Karma to return the 250k that I was swindle on. Same year before this 30k came through. She’s owing me 220k.
Karma are you there?
68
40
633
@enodamade
My mum asking card vendors if they have
#Glo
N1500 she wants to call her dota in Dubai.
She will still end up flashing me.
26
19
575
@eketiette
@Alara_COMPLETE
“Where is your mother”
That was my dad anything he comes back home.
Three minutes later, they’re already arguing. Just don’t bother “putting mouth” they will gather and come against you.
Them: “when we didn’t have you, who was our judge”?
Me: Sorry Mr and Mrs XYZ.
6
23
538
@Nyachangkuoth1
I had an offer to recruit 100 girls from Africa for a Qatar based company ( that I will leave unnamed).
I asked what roles will they be filing?
Client said “Just bring them...you’ll make $300 per candidate”
I declined but I’m pretty someone will help them exploit these girls.
22
60
370
@mazvitacata
@YourBabysDoctor
I didn’t know that.
After child birth, is the baby is sleeping, I’ll probably be here on twitter scrolling for jokes.
16
10
317
We met on a Monday morning, exchanged contacts.
We went out after work (same day)
He wanted to follow me home (same day) he had accommodation issues.
Tuesday-He had financial issues.
Wednesday-His mum wanted to d!e-he nids 50k
Thursday-He needed rent.
Friday-I blocked him
~ What was that incident that made you stop your “Talking stage” with someone?
Share your story 🤔 😂
2K
4K
10K
45
79
294
@chemicalbrodar
@jsquareofficial
She had multiple options.
She choose to stay with him in hopes of building a future together. The least you could do is, respect her loyalty.
243
25
269
@subpharmacist
@kvngtesoro
You want flat tummy:
•Cut your PVC
•Stop charging your phone
•Stay in the shower for 4hrs minimum
•Drink water with your left hand only
•Don’t greet anybody
•Don’t argue with anyone
•Read 2 Cor 1-7 each day
•Climb to the last floor twice every minute
•Eat snickers
12
23
280
@LuciaOliora
@instablog9ja
It’s an apology letter from a JSS2 student explaining why she couldn’t do her Home Economics assignment.
I guess Executive Jets just copied and edited it.
6
16
248
@monifajansen_
It’s low self esteem that will make a lady define herself by the standard of men.
Sis, you can live your life without involving men in your expenses.
31
17
228
@KingTouchh
@SavvyRinu
American made Arsenals are daily k!lling children in Syria, Tigray, Yemen...yet no one has called NATO leaders war criminals.
0
25
217
@mazpa_md
There’s Feminism, then there’s NIGERIAN FEMINISM.
That’s your assignment for the week.
14
7
224
@creme_pearlie
@AnnangQueen
Friends aren’t meant to massage your ego and praise any s!lly actions of yours. That’s left for cheerleaders.
Friends tell each other the truth.
Then caution you later, she didn’t wait for the caution, then left with pride.
Who said pointing someone to her fault is judging?
7
14
219
@denverind
@MCipriani_WTAE
So Queen Elizabeth didn’t witness the civil war?
Tony Blair was recently knighted as a opposed to being charged in Hague for his role in the w
@r
in Iran, Irag & Yemen.
I understand y’all are scared cos of visa application, but c’mon.
19
4
198
@Yabazidon
@DrOlufunmilayo
Eminem’s stops his daughter from listening to his songs.
Unrelated, but she graduated top of her class.
You first have to be a parent, before a celebrity.
7
10
198
@Ucezdavidson
@maziechidiime
I learnt cooking Asian & Mexican cuisines. What makes you feel I can't cook Igbo dishes?
But can our Mazi Tap palmwine?
Can he hunt antelope like my grandfather used to?
12
4
203
@DannyWalta
He’s just been reported to
@INTERPOL_HQ
(By me) for inciting violence. Y’all can do same.
Since he’s allegedly been sponsored by the Nigerian Police, we can’t report him to his sponsors.
#EndSARS
2
68
169
@senisulyman
Qualities of a good husband;
1. Excellent with the camera
2. Previous laundry experience
3. Knowledge of electrical fittings and basics repairs
4. Ability to deal with animal threats; Dogs, Nursing Hen, snakes
5. Willing to move my car to/from the garage
6. Bedmatics 💯
12
37
184
As a Christian, Support LGBTQ with a bible verse.
I’ll wait.
27
21
146
@JuliusD_genius
@Wizarab10
From:
Black equality to Religious tolerance to No Arms/Wars to girl child education to LGBTQ.
They are moving to climate change and crypto currency.
They keep following trends and social narratives, that’s how stay woke.
Yeah, that’s how to stay relevant.
3
45
152
@RedCloakedGirl
Me: IyaSodiq
IyaSodiq: (Frowns, readjust her hijab)
Me: Alhaja, Alhaja...Mummy Sodiq
IyaSodiq: Which food u wan buy, I go use one pomo put jara for today.
I shld now miss my Jara cos I read a thread say Alhaja na sexy name
Nothing we no see for this Bird App
Alhaja!!! GDF
10
12
145
@Letter_to_Jack
Back then in Girl’s hostel, making “codies” was a special skill.
Codies=Cold water eba. Eaten with sardine or fish.
That’s how sonia became famous. From Hall 1-3. If you need proper “codies” you have to get Senior involved.
20
8
146
@enyichioma_
I know retail floor supervisor when I see one.
If you ever consider going back to the show room or FMCG, kindly DM your CV.
3
2
151
@Bobbytohfresh
@seifoleee
People that work at night nko?
Bolt drivers, Lounge/Club staff, medical, manufacturing, shift jobs etc
They are all irresponsible (according to you)
6
1
136
@pauleecy
@didiafrika
It AC two meaning:
One is Because he went to Methodist girls Aye school for mushin.
And he ass avard brain.
E shock you abi?
Weh, we thank God, I see your face how you are asking kpe, who’s now born this one.
10
5
133
@BenHundeyin
You’re greeting us with your hands in your pocket.
Nigerian police and pride 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾
25
3
128
@iyxmaeel
@kins7615
@gimbakakanda
Las las its still chicken and chips....Their Steaks are from the smelly Karmo or Maraba Butchers.
You won’t know how senseless these billing is, especially if you’ve not dined outside Nigeria.
$1k for a meal when the chef no even get catering certificate...good luck
4
4
123
@AfamDeluxo
Build a lounge in an area with enough parking space & foot traffic in any capital city of any South Eastern state.
ROI is over 70% PA. partner with brands & after a year & half, you’ve scaled through.
PS: Hire external employees not relatives or acquaintances.
6
3
113
@Yehgha
If this was an attempted defense of your initial tweet about feminism, kindly note that it went beyond & delve into social anthropology, history of slavery and imperialism.
I’ll recommend you read:
HOW EUROPE UNDERDEVELOPED AFRICA.
The burglar isn’t superior to the occupant.
8
6
120
@TokMugo
@Mochievous
Valid question: Being insensitive to other people’s feelings is sickening.
3
2
121
@MoFalade
@Morris_Monye
I’m coming.
If
@emirates
Like make them ground flights, I go trek enter Egypt take bus to Niger, from there blow bike to Zamfara, pretend to marry one bandit, tell him to bring me to Abuja for another prison break, from Abuja, I follow Peace Mass to my village & vote Peter Obi.
12
11
110
@roxuzoma
@maziechidiime
I don't get your point, but Chef Hilda choose cooking as a career.
I can cook the meals I'm familiar with and ready to learn new ones too.
But is my prospective hubby ready to learn basic "Masculine responsibilities"?
2
2
115
@jaytcoza
That’s why we broke up.
Like prove to me that someone else shares my opinion of you being a likable person.
Let me see text of some girls calling you sweetheart too, so I’ll up my game.
77
15
103
@Abiodun79496130
@GenevieveNnaji1
Busy with Business.
Her type doesn’t need no body surgery.
A Queen I Stan 🙌🏽🙌🏽
2
1
103
@nellie_obasi
@Drsupacee1
That “recklessness” is “...YOU DEY DRIVE LIKE WOMAN” by Lagos standard.
Cant compare; CMS, Ketu Iyano-oworo, Mile2 etc driving to My Abuja drivers abeg.
Note: I didn’t mention Ojodu-Berger, ikorodo drivers. Those are hoodlums 🤣🤣🤣
9
8
101
@IkukuomaC
@_nonsojoe
They still have fuel, give them till next week.
Na them go say: my lord I have a confession to make.
7
6
96
@AfricaFactsZone
Watching South Africans cry under here is my best feeling yet.
You’ll see: Eesh, wena coookoo Cmd dJ s nsnsnsbsbsbsb. Annan San nannanansnsn 😂😂😂😂😂
3
0
99
@skitguru_
He was really good.
I almost climax. He asked me if I’m cumming.
Couldn’t answer I was mourning Almost loudly...the he PULLED OUT!!!
Me: why, you want me to climax?
Him: For stressing me all these while.
4
7
92
@FinPlanKaluAja1
You don’t know anything about public finance.
1. Buhari borrowed to give you NIN, SIM card registration.
2. Gave billions to Niger.
3. funded the Taliban govt with $1,000,000.00
4. Let people loot in NDDC & faint at panel hearings-Freedom of looting.
PMB is miles ahead.
11
10
92
@osaz_mcpeters
@iam_laykan
Wow, I never knew ppl in Ikorodu, Egbeda, Mushin or Agege wear leaf as cloth and leave in cafes.
MF Silicon Valley moron.
How will given Nigeria a bad PR help in fixing the country?
3
4
85
@Ada_Ojilibeka
I’m a lady, but I believe men are mostly underrated. Partly bcos some men left home and the woman had to raise the kids alone.
Not my dad.
I remember how he will rush back home during his lunch break, carry me on his shoulder (I was 16yrs) to get my injections.
RIP DAD
1
1
88
@OgbeniDodo
@realityoflilife
@ZenithBank
@MobilePunch
@instablog9ja
@officialEFCC
@cenbank
I go send gala, lacasera & energy ….lemme when y’all are going.
2
0
79
@desiremecus
@FUHRER_OMALIKO
@SavvyRinu
Naah, to be an extremist & fundamentalist you don’t need to be poor. It’s an ideology. Like socialism or Feudalism.
One thing is certain, they (extremist) seek to enforce the laws regardless of legitimacy.
Osama Bin Laden wasn’t poor. Kabiru Sokoto wasn’t too.
2
7
85
@crazeclown
You guys are forgetting the part where you need a VISA to travel to another African country-As frican.
That's why I was mad when this Oyibo ask me to
"meet your sister Mutizevuvuzela Amapiano, she's from Africa, you might know each"
Sir, she's South African, 200k miles away
7
4
80
@EtuboLion
God bless those Nigerians at BANIYAS and SABKA here in Dubai. can’t miss African food any day.
I Dey buy full fridge from that will last from Friday to Thursday.
If you visit, drink tea innit.
4
3
75
@Balloooooooo
"When in the majority, they're tyrant when in the minority they cry Islamphobia..."
That's the tweet
0
10
74
@EbiXkapade
Marketing?
The same marketing I’m saving to go do another M. Sc In?
See eehn, when it come to courses, don’t follow trends. In early 2000’s they was a surge in demand of banking graduates, see today. Computer & medical skills are in high demand.
Next fit be Agric
3
4
77
@perreyii
That last part though 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Met a couple in the restaurant that the wife won’t touch her bread, until the man apply the butter for her.
Man did and was frowning. 😂😂😂😂
6
3
71
@Uchiha1900
@TheAfrican_Hub
Step down and US & NATO put in a puppet like they did to Thomas Sankara of Burkina Faso 🇧🇫.
When did the US evee hid the call of any foreign country advising a sitting US president to resign?
Bill Clinton stayed in White House whilst Rwanda boiled in 1994.
What did the US do?
1
7
68
@DrSlice01
@instablog9ja
——-PLOT TWIST——-
-Side hen refuses to handover the child.
-claims she’s in love with the man.
(Deep down we knw she wants to enter the marriage as the fertile wife)
-Director is shouting CUT! CUT!
Actors (side hen & hubby) No gree, say d love is sweeting them
What do we do?
4
2
77
@Oluomoofderby
@akintollgate
They actually do, mine came with Prencibletitofleniscope .... Don't bother pronouncing.
It's a rare gem that's attached to Imaginary London glasses_for you to see the future.
Mine broke na why my future is looking somehow rn.
22
5
73
5
2
76
@Imudia_se2
I thought journalist were allowed to do EXCLUSIVES?
Isn’t that what made
@cnni
and
@AJEnglish
reputable news brands?
Nigeria will make you rethink your existence.
1
6
69
@johnbosco_u
@Febsbaby_
@Tunde_OD
Lol…
@johnbosco_u
you think influences work same way everywhere?
My tribe is very republican.
An attempt to stop Money woman could BAR u 4m participating in any village meeting as you’re daring to change the tradition.
But anyways, let’s say he succeeds. I’ll be happy.
3
2
66
@dawn_immanuel
@MarthaNdiyo
Why are these LGBTQ people so fascinated with getting validation from Christians?
The same Jesus that chased away money changers from the temple?
Twisting the narrative to suit their agenda must have been a coining strategy because deep down they have inner guilty conscience
3
3
70
@Emilids
@tobby___d
@Fawwaz_ibra
@AsiwajuLerry
@EWAWUNMIII
@holardamolar
@Famezz_vv
@shank_comics
Thank you for helping me with this.
Cos I was just staring at pictures like;
Is he a professional corn seller or an ant?
14
0
64
@Mr_JAGs
I don’t envy these govt errand boys at all.
Being paid to be a propaganda machine must be stressful. See your uncle Femi Adesina, he will soon knw his fate in a few months.
You could make an honest leaving selling newspaper, but you choose to “work for the govt”
3
0
63
@jassjegs
Uncle, an average Nigerian police doesn't stand 50% chance of passing this shooting range.
SWAT, SF?
maybe, but those ones are guiding our VIPs, leaving us with those that close the police stations by 7pm.
5
4
64
@fomax112
@GazetteNGR
Fact check:
1. Dangote isn’t the sole distributor of any of those products you mentioned.
2. Can Any Eastern state start buying exclusively
@innosonvehicles
?
3. Buhari has patronize more Innoson vehicles than previous govts.
Dangote isn’t a saint, neither is he a devil.
14
7
63
@andre_chris04
@ibeleeswhag
Brother Andrew, pray for forgiveness. Old things have past, behold all things have become new-So long as you are genuinely sorry for your act.
Some will recommend restitution, but in this case it might ruin her marriage or involve civil dispute.
Just apologize to her and repent
12
1
66
@Behltz_nhotes
Valentine will make more money
Kugbo will make more money.
Your furniture will not be imported.
Table, chair, bed eeehh….(in someone’s voice) 😂😂
9
7
60
@SaharaReporters
@Princ3_Troy
@MBuhari
You can’t even stand by CBN headquarters in Abuja in Abuja to hail a taxi, the security will chase you away, but these ‘Hoodlooms’ are having a field day close at the same place.
1
15
61
@ogujohnugo
You folks keep embarrassing every Nigerian. Imagine what my Indian friends told me at the office.
“If Fraud was an Olympic sport, we know which country will have a record win”
Then they all turned their eyes to my cubicle and laughed.
56
8
61
@channelstv
When I tot the road “cutting” was false.
It’s embarrassing to note the I share the nationality with people that think this way.
5
4
64
@UncleCCA
When I was In heaven last week, one angel asked me if I knew of his colleague in Nigeria.
I asked. "Who" he said M.A
As in normal MARK ANGEL naoow!!!
18
4
63
@aweleemili
@danTiana42
Isn’t that illegal?
I mean paracetamol playing eyeneck on the brain. 🤷♀️
4
2
65
@udysugardrops
@RidaNigeria
2 Cor. 13:1 "On the account of two or three witnesses a case is established"
4
8
61