Ben
@JaniCPFC
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(Ben)Jani, He/Him, 23, Crystal Palace supporting northern exile, ST holder Lower Holmesdale. Follower of York City. Avid Joel Ward fan. 25/92. Views are my own.
York, England
Joined January 2017
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Pinned Tweet
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
MATETA’S IN THE ROOM
THERE AIN’T NO STRIKER BETTER
THAN JEAN-PHILLIPE MATETA
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
SENT BRIGHTON TO THEIR DOOM
HIS NAME’S JP MATETA
HE’S REALLY FUCKING GOOD
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@Backpainandwine
Nobody benefits from children at a wedding.
It’s boring for the kids themselves, it ruins the moment for the people getting married if there’s a screaming 5 year old running around and it’s a headache for the parents. The only people who wants kids there are people who can’t 1/2
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The last time we signed a RB before today:
-‘Roar’ by Katy Perry was top of the charts
-Grand Theft Auto V was still 2 weeks off release
-David Cameron was Prime Minister
-The One Direction movie ‘This Is Us’ was in cinemas
-Neymar hadn’t made his Champions League debut
#CPFC
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@Backpainandwine
Sort childcare initially, and even then when the wedding rolls round if it’s children-free, they talk about how lovely it is to have a night off from the kids.
Everyone wins from children-free weddings.
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@liamb0117
@rafabenitezweb
Mate he probably thinks Crystal Palace is a fucking jewellery shop.
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When you get a random boner in assembly and it goes down right as you’re about to leave
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Big slice of irony from Brighton fans singing “Marcos Alonso, we know what you did” given the fact they’ve been fielding Bissouma for the last 2 months whilst he’s been on bail for sexual assault.
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|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
you’re only allowed to
support a team not local
to you if support is given
to you through family
|＿___＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|
\ (•◡•) /
\ /
---
| |
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SIGNED FROM BAYERN MUNICH AND HE’S HERE TO STAYYYY
COME TO SELHURST PARK AND YOU WILL SEE HIM PLAYYYY
I REALLY WANT TO, DEFEND WITH YOUUU
CHRIS RICHARDS OUR AMERICAN BOY, AMERICAN BOYYYY
🇺🇸 Chris Richards was bought for just £12m from Bayern.
He’s still just 23 years old.
Absolute bargain 💷 🤝
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As if the bloke who made a career out of screaming “Dean Marney” is gonna be a husband.
He seems a proper nice chap though so I’m happy for him.
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@Hammer74681
@BenStones1889
Change the pronouns on the insta bio to she/her for a day and you’re in
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Palace fans, if the new stand gets built and a statue is suggested to be built outside it, who would you like to see? For me, there’s only one man.
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One of the most disrespected players on this app. Can’t believe he was put in a category with Sean fucking Longstaff.
Rice is different class, one of the best DMs in the league pretty comfortably, and if he’s not starting at the Euros, something’s seriously wrong.
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@_bfcdanny
5 years ago yesterday was my last day of year 11.
Even though I probably only speak to about 3 people I left with, I’d still give anything to go back. Year 9-11 was so good.
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Between the booing of the knee, the homophobic chanting and throwing bottles/chairs at the Palace players, I genuinely felt so proud to be in that away end yesterday knowing I wasn’t part of that disgusting fanbase. Fair play to Olise for giving it back to them as well.
Michael Olise really got hit by a bottle from the Milwall crowd and told them to keep it coming 😳
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@xAurier
@Goalazette
@MagicalMilner
One Direction were the biggest band in America for three years.
Adele’s had 3 US number ones (Hello was up there for over 2 months)
Elton John has one of the longest number ones in US history
Imagine Dragons and Ella Mai are both in the US top 20
L
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The Premier League 2020/21 season’s relegation “fight” summarised in a short video:
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-Watford will beat Saints
-Hughes will get the sack
-Slav will also get the sack after a heavy defeat to Liverpool
-Big Sam takes the Saints job
-Fulham fans laugh at them because “they’re too good for Sam”
-Fulham appoint Pardew
-Sam keeps Saints up
-Fulham finish rock bottom
Mark Hughes is reportedly facing the sack if Southampton fail to beat Watford on Saturday.
The papers 🗞
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If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
A heart-breaking moment, as our relegation is confirmed.
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- In a title race in the U18 PL with a side who’ve only had a Cat 1 academy for 6 months
- Adored by the fans
- Players (especially Zaha and Ward who’ve been in a dressing room with him) will run through walls for him
- Loves the club
Give him the job till end of season.
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@tomovids
@Jaack
@touchdalight
Between this and the whole “brothers suicide note” thing, yes he’s exploited both panic attacks and suicide and used them as clickbait titles, so yeah, he’s the cause...
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That was a fun 45 minutes of having everyone available…
Can we just skip to the bit in May where we’ve finished 14th with a points tally in the low 40s and call it a day? I really don’t have the energy for this.
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So not only am I missing the first full Selhurst in 18 months because the mrs has dragged me on a babysitting week - I’ve also got to sit in the cinema for over an hour watching Paw Patrol and dress up as one of the characters, and I can’t even watch the game. Is this abuse?
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Hi
@FootballManager
my 7 month old son asked me “daddy, why is it called ‘Football MANager’, can not women play it as well? As he is a female himself, that made him very upset. I suggest you change the name to Football Personger to include everyone. It is 2018 after all.
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Selhurst needs an absolute cunt of an atmosphere at this piece of shit on Friday.
McArthur/Saka kick on Partey ideally but this time it actually puts him in hospital.
In this instance, no further action was taken because the relevant legislation had not yet come into effect at the time of the alleged offence. This has been explained to the complainant who continues to be supported by officers.
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10 years ago today…quite possibly the most bizarre Palace game I’ve ever been to.
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It’s taken Palace longer to confirm Vieira’s replacement than it’s taken Vieira himself to find a new job.
💙 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐕𝐢𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐂𝐒𝐀! 💙
Patrick Vieira (47) has today signed a three-year contract as coach of Racing Club de Strasbourg Alsace. Trained at AS Cannes, the former French international midfielder (107 caps), was World Champion
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He kept us up in our first season back up. Was arguably player of the season in our second. Scored a vital goal against Norwich to keep us up in the third. He gave me the best moment of my life in the cup final. Club legend. Goodbye Punch, thanks for the memories 💙❤️
#CPFC
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@_callumfowler
has absolutely nailed the Palace situation here 👏👏👏 so nice to see neutrals get it right about us, like Carragher did on MNF the other day
#CPFC
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Think it’s safe to say Wolves have won this transfer window.
Should make the relegation battle a lot more interesting.
#WWFC
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The way some West Ham fans continue to defend Slavia Prague after everything that’s happened purely for the existence Tomáš Souček and Vladimír Coufal is actually a bit disturbing.
I’m sure Souček and Coufal are just as disgusted as everyone else, stop protecting the club.
Get this club out of the competition because 10 racist hooligans posed with a banner?
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Michael Keane
Joe Gomez
Rob Holding
Jamaal Lascelles
Ezri Konsa
Tyrone Mings
Scott Dann
Conor Coady
Lewis Dunk
Adam Webster
Ben White
James Tarkowski
Jack O’Connell
Liam Moore
Michael Morrison
Marc Guehi
Anyone care to add to the list of english CBs better than Maguire?
#MUNTOT
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This memory only comes up on Futbology on a leap day, so drink it in, won’t be seeing it again until 2028
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Every palace fan right now leaving the ground or heading to the local.
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Forest Green Rovers currently 1-0 up against Sheffield Wednesday.
If they see it out, Palace will be the ONLY side in the 92 who haven’t won a league game in 2023.
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HEY I JUST MET YOU,
MICHAEL OLISE
BUT HERES MY NUMBER,
EBERE EZE
(To the tune of ‘Call Me Maybe’)
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Nobody could’ve anticipated how big of a loss he’s ended up being. I miss him so much, even if it was just 1 more year, we could’ve done with him for longer.
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How the fuck is a penalty 😂😂😂😂😂 if that was Zaha, everyone’d be calling him a diver
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3 years ago today.
Still the most iconic transfer announcement in Premier League history.
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Fuck me sideways 😂 AWB must be at least £120 million
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I know it’s Halloween but why did so many Arsenal fans come dressed as empty seats?
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I’ll be honest, I thought Gary Cahill was only getting signed to be a good asset for the dressing room, but in reality, he’s been our best defender so far this season. The difference to our defence with him vs without him is mental. Him and sakho could be an unreal partnership.
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@DrizzyCPFC
Tsamina Mina eh eh
Jefferson Lerma eh oh eh
Left the coast and what did he do?
He joined the red and blue
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I genuinely don’t think there’s a player I’ve ever wanted to succeed less than him. Cannot wait for the day he’s rotting on the bench of Shamrock Rovers after getting released from some conference side.
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Class striker. Best outside the top six. None of this Jimenez nonsense.
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Must’ve missed Mason Greenwood & Gylfi Sigurdsson’s appearances last night then.
If it was Yarmolenko who was found to be kicking his cat, this guy would be condemning him and hoping he never plays again. It’s so much easier for fans to turn a blind eye when it’s a good player.
We live in a world where kicking a cat causes more of an uproar than Racism and Rape.
Unbelievable.
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I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending…
👀🇳🇬 ‘Kelechi Iheanacho is expected to join Crystal Palace,
However should the deal not be concluded, this is the sort of deal that may come up on Friday for West Ham.’
@ExWHUEmployee
#CPFC
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Imagine telling someone after this game that Roy Hodgson will be back this time next year…
Where did it all go so wrong?
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Whether you’re into basketball or not, you can appreciate how much of a legend Kobe Bryant is. Unspeakable loss for the world of sport, R.I.P. Kobe.
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They’re getting Europe while we’re marooned in 12th, pondering signing one of their rejects and throwing over £10 million a year at an aging Zaha.
What did we do in a past life to deserve this?
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Revenge porn, mocking suicide, googling pregnancy photos, baited out as a nonce, all within 4 months.
Can’t wait for this bloke to fucking perish.
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Gareth Southgate’s caveman ancestor introducing himself after changing locations
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He gives off massive Jake Paul energy I can’t lie.
Hopefully he gets snapped by Tomkins on the first game day.
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Unless your name’s James McArthur or Jeffrey Schlupp, hand your fucking wages in this week. Disgraceful. Utterly shameful.
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Just like the first team, it seems like Brighton fans and Palace fans will always argue about who’s youth side are better.
If only there was some sort of way of keeping track of how many games each team has played, and ordered them accordingly on how many games had been won...
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Philippe Coutinho is edging towards a reunion with Steven Gerrard at Aston Villa, talkSPORT understands
#AVFC
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Today has been a disaster of epic proportions.
An email was sent from HR on Friday about how we’re having a Halloween day today. While everyone else bought in decorations/treats but stayed in professional clothes, I’ve turned up looking like Jack Sparrow if he shopped at Primark
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I think it’s bonkers Chelsea have let him go.
He’s already better than Malang Sarr, he’s at least on par with Chalobah (I’d argue he’s better), he’s got potential to be better than Christensen, Rüdiger & Azpi both out of contract end of season and Silva won’t last forever.
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Just seen Cheick Doucouré in Wickes, asked if he was coming Palace, he threw his belt at me and told me to ‘Buy A House With It’ and walked away humming Glad All Over.
It’s happening boys.
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@MustafiOfficial
@LCFC
Everyone replying to this with abuse to Mustafi should’ve been wiped on the curtains
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Can’t believe some West Ham fans turning their noses up at this.
Benteke scored the same amount as Antonio this season, in fewer minutes, in a team who attack considerably less.
Even if Antonio remained first choice, he’d be an insane squad player.
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A potentially slightly unpopular but very correct opinion:
Wilfried Zaha is a much better dribbler than Adama Traore and it’s not even close.
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Happy birthday to my father.
Don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for forcing a life of suffering supporting Palace upon me.
Grey bastard.
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