a womens birthday should be celebrated over a week with various dinners and celebrations. a man should have his birthday only belatedly revealed when hes asked when his birthday was
doesn’t my writing professor understand that the joke of my script is that it’s bad! stop giving me notes saying “this is bad”. god people will never understand my genius
@JoshLipnik
I went here last year and a bird flew through the window and the chef smacked him with a broom onto the stove where all the hot dogs were grilling and the bird cooked right there in front of me
if you want to know the most southern united states thing i’ve ever seen, the man washing his hands next to me in this south carolina rest stop just took out his false teeth and started washing them in the sink
my father just rearranged our living room solely so our shakespeare bust (from the 1966 batman tv series, of course) will appear in the background of all his zoom meetings)
pulling up to the premiere of the new christopher nolan movie and breathing on each of the audience members because that’s what they get for liking christopher nolan