tony tone
@JammerLog
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@FirstWeekHQ
Pretty good list but I don’t think Galileo ever had a release as innovative and abrasive as “Yeezus”
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all i have to do to get retweeted by the nyu meme page is say something about rats. watch. there are a lot of rats in new york city.
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@TalkinBaseball_
Oh no, whatever shall baseball do without the inimitable talent of josh reddick
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POV: the most annoying people you know are about to not shut up for 72 hours
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a womens birthday should be celebrated over a week with various dinners and celebrations. a man should have his birthday only belatedly revealed when hes asked when his birthday was
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@ZoeRoseBryant
I graduated from nyu tisch if anything it means she doesn’t know what she’s doing
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if being tired of this quarantine shit makes you a bitch, then slap a tail and some doggy ears on me because im done with it
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remember when people were jumping out of moving vehicles for that drake song that wasn’t even that good
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hey guys it is with a heavy heart that i tell you that i got the results back and i’ve tested positive..for swag
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this is bidens america
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doesn’t my writing professor understand that the joke of my script is that it’s bad! stop giving me notes saying “this is bad”. god people will never understand my genius
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@JoshLipnik
I went here last year and a bird flew through the window and the chef smacked him with a broom onto the stove where all the hot dogs were grilling and the bird cooked right there in front of me
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snl is still funny and other lies you can tell yourself because you have a fear of letting go
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my simple goal in life is to have women treat me like a video game character. by this i mean indirectly control all of my actions.
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all day long i watch old howard stern clips and play video games i need a life coach
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wanna feel old? kids today say “add it to the queue”, not “play it on the jukebox”. like this tweet if millennials suck!!!
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it’s only taken me until relatively recently to realize how racist i was in high school
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if you want to know the most southern united states thing i’ve ever seen, the man washing his hands next to me in this south carolina rest stop just took out his false teeth and started washing them in the sink
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my father just rearranged our living room solely so our shakespeare bust (from the 1966 batman tv series, of course) will appear in the background of all his zoom meetings)
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thought i saw frances mcdormand but it was just a homeless person
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retweet this if meryl streep deserved an oscar nomination for mamma mia (2008)
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remember when the jonas brothers were little cupid statues in night at the museum 2: battle of the smithsonian
#lol
#jonas
#iheartjonas
#fyp
#tiktok
#ihatemylife
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please don’t kidnap me at 555 E 17th Street 10009 New York, NY rn
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orange man assaults women? he should be disqualified! dementia man assaults women? eh we don’t buy it
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nothing more disheartening than being left on read by your therapist
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everybody always asks me anthony how are you not dead from the amount of coffee you drink. and the simple answer is i shit 8 times a day
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oh you have a twitter? that must mean you are a political genius!
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honestly there’s no way i’m god because god shouldn’t be this cute
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high school was so strange. i would walk around with petitions for the school to give us star wars day off and people would be like “okay”
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It appears neil young is back on Spotify, but all of his album covers have been replaced with thirst traps?
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i can't wait to die so a certain percentage of the population finally wants to have sex with me
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dad wants to see taylor swift and olivia rodrigo concerts this fall “without the girls”
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somebody blocked me on venmo. wtf they afraid im gonna do send them money?
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my tweets have been SHIT lately. please unfollow me if you have any self-respect
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@DiscussingFilm
This is dumb creative bankruptcy on the level of Marvel. Can’t we come up with anything new?
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oh god oh fuck i want to die somebody please literally put a gun to my head and stick a bullet in my goddamn brain
Barrett is on the cusp of confirmation, with the Senate ready to vote to elevate her to the Supreme Court a week before the presidential election.
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ain’t nothing better than men deciding what’s offensive to women at 11 am!
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the new batman movie opens on a shot of robert pattinsons bare cock full frontal
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pulling up to the premiere of the new christopher nolan movie and breathing on each of the audience members because that’s what they get for liking christopher nolan
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film students love to complain about finals. bitch what are you complaining about? got too many movies to watch this week?
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maybe trump tried to warn us about the pandemic but accidentally spelled it covfefe
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folks who talk about how depressed they are on social media? we get it you get head okay
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we can explain gravity, we can explain relativity, but no one can explain how theyve made NINE fast and the furious movies
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not feeling too good about my life. luckily i can get really drunk by myself and listen to u2 and it will be really healthy
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told a tinder girl i was from upstate new york and she blocked me
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watching the debate tonight to become a more informed citizen. wonder who i should vote for!
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should i be concerned that i said yes to being an organ donor without asking which organ
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preferring ass over titties is feminist...no i will not elaborate
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Wires got crossed and I spent a few seconds trying to figure out why my search for “Joan didion” on baseball-reference was bringing up no results
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thinking about that priest in georgia who hit on my sister at my grandpas funeral. that mf was really ready to risk it all
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There’s a spiritual thirst that I greatly admire in people who go for runs on Saturday mornings
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now that barbie has explained it to me i think i finally understand racism
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