James Bong
@JamieButon
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Mtu anaeza fanya nisimame kwa mat labda kipofu juu hakuona mat imejaa
Offered my seat for an elderly man to sit na wamama kept thanking me as if ni big deal, like that's what we are supposed to do for elderly people, pregnant women and people with kids bana.
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Juu hiphop mnapenda wanaimba kuhusu bitcoin and engineering
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"Rudisha hizo mzinga ulete keg, huyo jamaa kando yangu anakaa KRA"
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Wifi mwitu hainanga customer care ni ukasake huyo jamaa local zote mkulane mangumi
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Mum: umeskia John ule kijana wa njuguna anavuta bangi
Me: haiya wacha
Mum: walionekana wakiwa na mwingine lakini huyo alitoroka wanasema Tu alikuwa na t-shirt ya white
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Jamaa ameiba raha ya nchi, raha ya kazi, raha ya masomo na Sasa raha ya Twitter,
#RutoMustGo
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Ghosting hutaka determination, ukimhurumia katikati you have lost
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Airtel hiyo pesa ya kudiss safaricom na advertisement si waweke booster hapa mtaani
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Sasa madem huvaa nguo za 150 kutoka juu hadi chini, most expensive item itakuwa ID
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Shida ya Kuwa na siblings ni ukienda kupika mayai uskie nipikie pia, naskiaga kuchapanisha pan na ukuta tukae njaa wote
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Btw hata artists don't do shit mtu tunaexcuse ni trio Mio Pekee juu moles huwa ngumu
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Kuna dem aliniitaga sleepover kwake na sikuwa na pesa kumshow ivo akasema ni Sawa tu anataka my company, kufika 9 ivi tumeboeka kejani over a series Subaru guy akamkujia dem akaenda akaniwacha kwake kama pet
Ni madharau gani ushawahi fanyiwa na mtu juu haukuwa na pesa?
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Mnakula supper alafu mnaturn on KBC and
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Vile unangoja mother in law amalize kuona soap opera za usiku utandike mattress sitting room
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Rao:Yaaani umempea panga
Unye: Hujaona nimempea kama sitaki
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First break up iliuma ajab nikiwa hapo 19 nilienda kukata maji waitress akanotice I'm sad alikuwa ananiguzusha boobs akipita to cheer me up, bless your soul Wa'Phyllis
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Unauza kuma ya wenyewe hahaha
Eve Maina is pretty, men who are hating nijuu wanajua bila pesa hapo hawatoboi .
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You and your boy mkienda threesome mnut in 30 seconds na Dem hajatosheka so mko hapo like "we rudi ujikaze "
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Joyriders wakirudi Kenya waende wafungiwe training iten Hadi wawin gold medals
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Kila ofisi huwa na that person akiingilia story heri mrudi kazi
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"Ebu weka news, kibaki amekufa na hamjui, Kenya inaeza chomeka mkiona hizi mawimbo zenyu tu"
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Nikiwa mtoto nilikuwa nafungua fridge alafu ikitoa the Cold air natembea hapo nikijidai undertaker lakini sai vile nimejua bei ya tokens naomba nisipate mtoto kumbafu Kama mimi
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Unalipa ule mumama mwenye ni interview coach 30k akuundie cv kumbe interviewer anatafta ngotha
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"Baba ulicon watu 800k na bado huezi lipa dstv nione cartoons"
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My mum just got admitted akawekwa on oxygen, man this is going from bad from worse I thought she is getting better FFS Kumbe she was lying to make at feel at ease, please pray for her
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Polisi hushoot unarmed citizens suddenly wamepata their match Kazi ni kulia
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Unahara wiki mzima ukilaumu mutura ya ndegwa kumbe Ni the apple of your eye anachemsha tampon na cabbage
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"Huyu mutu wenu wa bangi ana kizungu sana, wewe mbona unavuta unashinda umelala"
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Teach your son's how to handle rejection, the weakest man ni mwenye anakataliwa anaanza kuitana malaya
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Kabi wa Jesus every get together cousins wengine wakipigania soda za fanta
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Boyz wangu tukiwa strip club amewai chomoa hizo noti Kwa thong tulionwa war ajab
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Abuya Jr sai anauliza nani anataka nduma asirudi nazo home
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Ukilala sitting room unaamshwa 6 inabidi utoke na mattress aunties wasione morning boner wakulaani
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Unatokaga local happy AF umebishana na the Boyz about football for 6hrs alafu unafika kejani unaargue na the Mrs for 6 minutes unaskia kuend it
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Hii ukimbao hapo ndani inabidi ufungue dirisha uitoe nje kama aerial juu hamuezi toshea wote
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Haha unanyonya tirries unahara wiki mzima ukilaumu mutura kumbe umenyonya cocktail ya vumbi sweat na cum ya kevo
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Mnaeza tell a murder from a picture but can't tell your girl has been eating more nut than a squirrel
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"Bibi yako ako hapa nje anaambia watchman she did not study for 7 years to sign her name at the gate"
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City boy alikuwa amemarrinate ass usiku mzima your girlfriends wakalambe lakini Mungu ni nani
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Kusomea journalism uandike sleepless nights in every post must be hectic
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Nyama umeweka kwa Twitter circle
Pishori+ Minji , karati, waru, gathufu, (kanyama)🤤🤤🤤
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Huyo jamaa na guitar anaona views zikipanda anadhani ni talanta
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Hapa ndo unakutaga man's akimeza chrome dry counter unamuita alcoholic because y'all just judgemental cunts
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Hata mimi nikienda mahali naiba naeza amka 4
The Deputy President was at his office at 5.15am. What's your excuse?
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So Leo I was baby sitting my nephews alafu mama yao akarudi na some of her friends na sikujua, anyway I do this thing nikiskia my nephews approaching I hide in a corner and say MAAA!!! Wakifika, Anyway guess who jumped before 3 adult strangers and tried scaring them
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Ukidinya thick woman huwa unastrago kupitisha kanyunyui Kwa thighs like
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Leo nimevaa trench coat mvua ikakataa kunyesha, nimeshinda in town looking like a drug dealer
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Kale women wanaombea their husbands, kikuyu women wakivunja windscreen, hmmm
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"Kamau mbona umeandika 4:20 wozap na unajua ulipata 257 kcpe, unataka waseme nalea muongo kwa kanisa"
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Kuna Boyz wangu amefutwa job for drinking, yaani jamaa alikuwa younger than me aliangukia kazi ya kama 70k alikuwa anaannounce unprovoked kila siku lakini naskia alikuwa anakunywa kama samaki, what's happening to the youth
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"Bwana deputy huyu kijana anasumbua my class hata siezi funza, you should deal with him "
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Nimesahau shopping kwa matatu hahaha Ni Kama nilirogwa hahaha, I'm actually crying
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Ukismash dem ya mtu kama amevaa jeans mnago through all that process ya kutoa tight jeans na bado hajachange mind unajuaga love doesn't really exist
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Jamaa wa kuuza fresh juice aliweka msichana mrembo mwenye matako counter tunakunywa juice huku kama nonsense
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"Hajakubaiya kitu this valentine yaani, huyo mtu wako hukua aje heh. Btw si ungetoa hiyo bra ama haikufinyi"
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800k nakuru mzima tunaeza pewa handjobs tupate kizunguzungu
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Nimekaa kando ya msichana mrembo sijui nimpee 150 nimshow this is just the beginning
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Mnakunywa keg na vyombo za wageni
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Yengs ataniekea mchele ya 500 akute mpesa Nina 37 Bob nilikuwa naplan kuhepa nimwachie bill
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"Babe nikisugua wababa ivo i was young, siku izi unajua naumwa na mgongo labda missionary"
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Dem yako hupotea Friday anarudi Monday kama Yesu but unlike Jesus she enjoyed the whipping
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Original ID ni kama napelekea mama yangu kesho aweke kwa ile box huwa juu ya wardrobe
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Ukipata a woman who adores you she will have you walking in town thinking you are handsome and shit
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Elsa ameweza soft life bila bwana za wenyewe hao wamama hawaezi amini😭😭
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Mtu akimwaga maji kwa floor alipata ikiwa safi akipanguza utamsifu for cleaning their mess
The dollar is at KSH 155 from 164 a few days ago and by next week it might end up at 145 but ya’ll are silent about it
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"Distribution of fish to TL baddies is suspended as we address the issue in Ukraine"
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Ule msee aliimba narudi ocha alikuwa anaimba ivo unga ikiwa 80 bob na sukari kilo 90 saa ii najua anaskia kurudi binguni
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The previous batch wouldn't let ya'll out the kitchen to tweet this
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GK nyambura being considered a baddie is why I never take anyone anajiita Ivo seriously
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Kuna tweet ukiona after 3 years utacheka bado? ebu mquote or comment with a tweet you think is timeless for this sad nigga hours
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