Jag ubani
@Jag_ubani
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Following
9,157
Media
3,523
Statuses
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Pinned Tweet
When a lecturer known for repeating past questions, decides to experiment with your set
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Iphone users: Holds down an app to delete it
The rest of the apps:
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Ok sir.
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University students’ favorite words:
1. free
2. cancelled
3. I signed for you
4. break
5. friday
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I still don’t believe this happened 😂😂
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Put your head on my shouuuuuullllllll
“Mummy say you should come and blend pepp...
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4 pieces for N4k??
I go just carry crayon start dey colour their shop
N4,000 plantain from Sketch Lagos. I was in shock when they brought it. Make we sha dey fear God 😭
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Capri-Sonne I promise you if you start making 1 liters you’ll change the game, what are you afraid off??😭
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Nobody:
Primary school gist: “Shakira removed some of her ribs so she can move her waist like that”
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“ BrightO you have 10 seconds da to leave the house “
BrightO: biggie wait small..
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“So I felt tired and decided to make a quick meal…”
and you’re pouring oil inside pot?
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I deleted the series SUITS after I followed my dad to court in Nigeria
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after they’ll say I’m talking too much in this house - An African mother who has indeed talked too much
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Me adding “but I don’t know sha” after advising someone, so they’ll not blame me for any outcome
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Olops >>>>
Calling NG police, cops, is totally insane. Please stop it 😭
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10yrs still inside water, you be
Aqua man ?
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Cho cho cho igbokwenu >>>>
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God abeg, just barb us this style
BREAKING: Bangladesh's prime minister has resigned
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about me that what?
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Mayorkun: “Of lay lay lay of Lagos...”
Sanwo olu: Tax that man
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Can’t believe I used to write notes for almost 17 subjects, just for the teacher to write “SEEN”
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“ My sibling telling me something important ”
My mind: ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᶦʳᵗ ˡᵒᵒᵏˢ ᵏᶦⁿᵈᵃ ᶠᵃᵐᶦˡᶦᵃʳ
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Nobody:
English WAEC:
choose the one with the correct stress.
“acrimony”
A. A-cri-mo-ny
B. a-CRI-mo-ny
C. a-cri-MO-ny
D. a-cri-mo-NY
Me:
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There's literally a Nigerian soap called safeguard 😭
@paulg
delve, safeguard, robust, demystify, 'in this digital world',
all chatgpt.
I am rejecting all content with any of these words.
there is no problem with these words, but they make human language mechanical.
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We will come back to you, we're dealing with Pastor Biodun of Coza
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I’m honestly not a fan of anything mixed with coconut, but THIS!!
Coconut is literally bad and everything coconut flavored is also bad!!!!! Such a sad and miserable fruit!!!
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Me with a blocked nose regretting all the time I never appreciated being able to breath freely
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Me adding “but I don’t know sha” after advising someone, so they’ll not blame me for any outcome
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My dad saw me do it once and suggested I study mechanical engineering, Nigerian parents are just funny
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You don dey rub hand santiser since
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SUITS sold me a delicious fallacy, because is this a court ?
News Flash
Former CBN governor Godwin Emefiele pleads not guilty to the two count charge of being in possession of a single barrel gun and 23 live amunition
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Me singing ASA jailer " i'm in chains...
Under my breath: ᶦ ᵃᵐ ᶰᵒᵗ ᶦᶰ ᶜʰᵃᶦᶰˢ ᶦᶰ ᴶᵉˢᵘˢ ᶰᵃᵐᵉ
"you're in chains too..
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African mums
entering your
room at 3 am
to pray and Me still
anoint your watching series
head at that time
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My dad’s face immediately I start my sentence with “ Daddy I......”
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“I signed for you”
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“If you like someone why don’t you just message the person”
Me:
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All I see is extra 100% volume
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Where did we miss it as a society?
Chicken and beef Sharwama are great, but you see Snail Sharwama? >>>>
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The way Nigeria dey go, be like say I go click this guy link soon
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Mr Biggs really had the best Scotch Egg in Nigeria and fumbled the bag
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“ Small rain and thunder “
Me under my breath: ᶠᵃᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵐʸ ˢᶦⁿˢ
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It will not be over for me in Jesus name
Everybody is in a relationship. If you're
single at this point, it's over for you 🚶♂️
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What in the inter-house sport is this?
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I lied, kindly focus on yourself.
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️️️️ ️️
️️️️ ️
What is the most romantic gesture you've received from someone?
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Yam can be pounded
Yam can be boiled
Yam can be fried
Yam can be smoked
Don’t disrespect a food with this range
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Post Shawarma clarity
The realization that hits you after you finally had a craving, “so 2k don go like that?”😭
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+44 this December
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