Uncle Tito
@IllestKevAlive
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🇧🇸 | 1906 | Wage war to shape both the poet and the beast.
Joined June 2009
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The views expressed by this Twitter account are solely my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer or any other related parties.
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Next thing you know, you five seasons deep and rooting for the president to leave his wife, his side piece to outgrow him & the side piece’s daddy to murk em all.
Me pretending to be interested in her weak ass show before I clap cheeks
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Just watched Rebel Ridge and that should not have been a Netflix movie at all. That shit was theater level good.
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This time last year I was looking for work.
Today, I’m doing the interviewing.
Look at God.
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By cooking together, I mean you pulling up a chair, grabbing a drink and keeping me company.
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Friendly reminder: You never know until you try. Apply for that job. Send that DM. Pull up from half court & let it rip. You miss every shot you don't take.
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The “BEY CYC” really gave it that like extra
Thank you
@USEmbassyNassau
🙏🏽 for distancing yourself from “lil rocket man”
@RonDeSantis
threatening to flattening the Bahamas in the event of a 9/11-like attack on Fort Lauderdale ~ BEY CYC ~ Half of
@Florida
is Bahamian ~ and if you know your history Bahamians built a large part
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A bar/restaurant’s music shouldn’t be so loud I gotta shout to have a conversation or order a drink. Also, bring back the difference between bars, restaurants & clubs.
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Usually a thin justification to keep the toxicity going.
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Doing little things together like grocery store trips & weekend errands/projects is def a love language.
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Lockdown was sweet tho. That first phase was pure peace for me lol.
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“Congratulations on passing the Certified Anti-Money Laundering Specialist Exam.”
God is good. 🥹🙏🏽
Now..
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It’s like nobody watched iRobot. What the entire fuck is wrong with you people??
JUST IN: Elon Musk says Tesla, $TSLA, Optimus will be “the biggest product ever of any kind”
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Translation: “So. We gon let him serve out his last bit of time on leave so he could still get his pension, sweep this under the rug, but never officially close this investigation so when you ask us bout it we could say ‘We cannot comment on an active investigation’ & not lie.’”
POLICE: There will be no further public statements about the investigation into Chief Supt. Michael Johnson and related voice notes until the investigation is complete, except to confirm from time to time that the investigation is still ongoing.
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It’s officially “Well, muddafuck” degrees outside. Cause well, muddafuck.
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I never understood why the Christian Council felt as if their opinion matters in the grand scheme of things. Your mandate is the spiritual. Either be a politician or a pastor.
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I love that window between 2-5 AM, where everything stops. Heartbeats are louder, the air feels cooler. Everything just feel so.. infinite. So possible. It’s where the magic happens.
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Quality television.
Here is what was airing on Nickelodeon on this day in 2004
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This may be a wild take..
But unless you really heard Dorian roll thru your block like a motherfucking freight train, complete with whistle, Ine really tryna hear it.
Nor do I care.
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It’s wild that ya only need 2 BGCSEs to be an Immigration Officer, but 5 is the minimum requirement to work for Bamboo. Nobody else sees sumn wrong with this?
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Something about paying $265 to travel to Freeport when $268 will get me to Miami just don’t sit right with me.
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Found out today the neighborhood kids use my driveway to do their lil scooter/bike tricks when I’m at work. Guess who gonna be parking in the grass until the sun set from now on?
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I pray this country is soon released from the shackles of childish & petty politics so we can actually progress.
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Strolled into the office and saw my boss left a box on my chair, opened it and inside are my business cards (first corporate set ever [this really wild cause IYKYK]) and on em is a title upgrade. Lord knows I needed good news. Who He keeps, man. 🥹
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Lol If you truly think that written down AND digitized in this country, I got a sky scraper for sale in Mayaguana..
Where do I find The Bahamas Olympic Committee Rules, and/or the rules for deciding who qualifies/is eligible for the Olympic and who isn’t? Someone got the link?
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Millennials refreshing the real estate listings like:
BREAKING: The housing market is headed back to a 1980s-style recession, Wells Fargo, $WFC, has said.
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Idk if it’s because I remember the climate in Freeport at the time or what, but every time I see kids missing esp boys & back to back like that, I get a naaasty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
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Valentine’s Day is really the most informative day of the year. Some a y’all been hiding man like the lost treasure of Atlantis
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Nobody:
Me: *hears ductless beep* *looks at Pops*
Pops: *Looks at me*
Pops:
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Idk if it’s the overinflated property values, the skyrocketing cost of utilities or just the innate Bahamian predisposition to be greedy but gyms in Nassau way too fucking expensive dawg.
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While speed def played a role here, ain no way that bus driver could tell me they checked their mirrors before they started to pull out. I’m sorry.
GB TRAFFIC FATALITY:
Police are aggressively investigating the circumstances surrounding the country’s latest Traffic Fatality that claimed the life of a 45 year old male resident of Pinehurst Drive, Freeport Grand Bahama on Thursday June 29th 2023.
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Paid my utilities, housing, & put grocery in my house this weekend. Adulting is a scam. Hate it here.
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Them tribal pants do things for a set of cheeks that Lulu & her lemons could never.
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Greeted the day with gratitude, got my curry mutton for half off cause the lady and I share the same birthday, & my boss just tell me I could slide out early cause “even if we have to work, we don’t work the whole birthday around here.”
31 is off to a pretty decent start. 🥳
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Aye, hear me out for a sec..
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Tequila = we fuckin, en espanol.
Clear liquor = we fuckin
Brown liquor = we fuckin, aggressively 🥴
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This, may be the wildest take you’ve ever put on this app.
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From ya gotta use “confirmed” with “apparently” that ain inspiring no confidence lol
So apparently Burna concert is confirmed…… that gone be a big one
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What’s ya rationale behind thinking less money and being taxed on that less money is better than more tax free money?
I asked a while back would you rather a solid American job like at about 100k salary or 500k Salary in the Bahamas … majority picked the 500k Bahamian .. that was the day I knew this app was 🧢
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This gyal really packed up and walked outta the office early cause she “tired of reading emails that ain about money.”
Big mood.
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I really hope y’all be ready to riot over scarcity of real estate in Nassau like y’all do over this [first] date topic.
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*walks into bar*
My Cousin: Ay, lemme get a water and a-
Bartender: Water? This ain no fuckin tuck shop. I don’t start selling water till 11:30 so pick a shot.
Me: Home is where the liver is break. I fucking love it here.
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If ya needed a sign to get out the streets.. Here it is, in neon.
mannn I’ve seen more Syphillis in the past two weeks than I’ve seen in the last 5 years 😅 raw definitely is yinna law 😮💨
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I hate a “read between the lines” ass person. Say it with your chest or say nothing ever again, please.
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Now he’s the only one everybody coming to see. 🥲
Dr. Otis Williams, sole surviving, founding member of the legendary Temptations, turns 82 today!! Please join management, the group, the band, fellow artists, family, and friends from across the globe in celebrating this special day.
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Officially hit a career goal 9 months ahead of my 3 year plan. Look at God.
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I need a high paying job that doesn’t involve working. This shit is for the birds.
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The fact that Bahamas Press still has a social media presence (or one at all) says a lot more about Bahamians than you think.
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Comparing postpandemic to the current economic situation is a lil misleading. Wouldn’t the economy naturally have picked up as things reopened & resettled? Touting the decrease on VAT is wild because that 2% & more just being paid in NIB instead. What true progress has been made?
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Using “you’ll” instead of “y’all”.
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Studying nigga, the fuck?
If y’all ain’t start drinking and smoking until y’all was grown, what was y’all doing in high school?!
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This, but as a painting for my living room.
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Me when I walk outside this morning and feel that lil chill in the air:
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Are we more concerned that the system *is* that slack? Or we just mad we got called out on it, and called out by somebody who isn’t/doesn’t look like one of us?
Anyone saw that tiktok of the expat saying why she likes The Bahamas and its her mentioning how “lawless” we are and basically saying police see them driving with no license plates yet she is never pulled over🤔
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If y’all don’t get it after this…
All I could tell ya, is Ine know what to tell ya.
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I mean.. ya can’t get pregnant if ya dead soo.. I see the logic.
In ancient China they believed that drinking mercury after sex could prevent pregnancy.
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Idk who needs to hear this but, take a day off from being the bigger person. The world won’t stop.
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I can’t even fathom losing 3 siblings/kids/ loved ones in one fell swoop like that..
Three brothers died after they were involved in a traffic accident on Milo Butler Highway early this morning. Two of the brothers died on scene. A third brother was taken to hospital with serious injuries where police say he later died.
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Ine even been home 20 minutes good. 2 of these and two shots in and my bill still only 8 dollars.
Ain no place in the world like home sweet home.
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Anybody else hearing her for the first time too? So it ain just me? Cool, cool.
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Tryna make it to Day 39.
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I crack all the time bout them lil Japanese cars being purses on wheels, but if gas really hits $8/gallon Imma be whippin that Birkin like its nobody's business.
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I know I’m outta touch cause..
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I hate being around people in my personal life that I have to be meticulous with. Like, if I can’t let my hair down around you, what purpose you really serving?
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Just saw “y’all” spelled as “ur’ll”.. My people, we must bring back shame.
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Ine necessarily mad at this because some of y’all truly lawless as fuck and need to be stopped.. But why is this in the public eye?
Y’all stay off the road if ya riding dirty or drive a Honda. Niggas having a lock up competition…wmf 😭😭😭
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At this point I’m just hoping we get a cool breeze in time for Christmas dred cause this.. This heat in November ain’t it.
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Nothing when ya put it in ya pocket.
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Y’all really don’t feel stupid as fuck riding at the exact same speed as the car next to you on a dual carriage way? Not in the least? Cmon man, be better.
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I wonder who was the first Bahamian to go “I feel like peas and rice, but I only have grits. Oh, wait. I wonder..”
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We’ve now hit the “So where’s ya girlfriend?” part of family dinner. Send help.
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Knowledge is knowing that both can be made into salads.
Wisdom is knowing that they shouldn’t be made into one salad.
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I just know something this cute gotta be an absolute fucking terror.
Cute fluffy alpaca running towards the camera
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I just know Paul’s 2nd Letter to Atlanta was gonna be scathing. 🤣
sexyy red and maverick city in the same album, paul would’ve wrote a tremendous amount of letters to todays generation
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So many issues can be avoided by asking instead assuming, yet we never do.
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Because they suddenly made it unavailable in half the world.
Max has the highest cancellation rate of any streaming platform at 26.9%
(via
@Variety
)
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Packing my lunch for work 🤝🏽 Eating my lunch before lunchtime
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How long are you willing to tolerate less than you know you deserve?
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The only reason I really care about curfew being later is so the food spots can be open later. Still gon be nestled in my cave by 8.
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That immigration topic is always a lil weird for me because I vividly remember the responses to Grand Bahamians & Abaconians having to relocate to Nassau post Dorian. Some on this very timeline.
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Nobody:
Nobody at all:
Random gyal next to me at the bar: You look like a girl dad. How old is she?
Excuse me, what? Lmfao
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Honestly, no because we’ve been living under these circumstances for a decade or so now. Unfortunately, congratulations on catching up, and welcome to the club.
Every single person in the Caribbean should be concerned for what’s happening or about to happen in Florida. That can very very easily be us the way in which the climate is worsening.
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Ine ga say ya boy should be banned for life but ngl if you outchea knowingly got COVID and only wanna make it a factor when you get mollywopped? You reckless, selfish & that’s just a shitty move all around. Skip LA and just move on to 2032.
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Canalfront land in Freeport really going for 30K. Dawg let me even catch a whisper of the economy picking up and I’m teleporting back home.
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I find the older I get, the less I take it seriously than I already do. Slippery slope lol
What y’all think is a good age to start taking life serious?
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Note to self: Just because you can’t see anything happening doesn’t mean God isn’t working.
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I refuse to believe I tuned into 4 different press conferences, over 2 days, for something that could have been a 1 page memo..
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