Mike a.k.a Woody
@HiMyName1sMike
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Following
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Media
1,870
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37,450
Facetious! Jack of all trades master of fuck all, semi professional wind up merchant. Rugby, Cricket, Boxing, Snooker & Lufc. Terrible Dad Jokes. Metal/Punk
In your head
Joined May 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I personally think we should keep this guy on as a translator for Jesse Marsch. I know he speaks English but every time he says "soccer" this little guy can just stick his head in and say "football"
#Lufc
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Lot's of our fan base happy to throw Jesse Marsch under the bus despite him not having a single transfer window to sign his own players.
Also conveniently forgetting our best run this season of 5 games undefeated (W3 D2) came under Marsch.
This isn't Marsh's fault
#Lufc
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@Bantamchris1
@tomo_w94
Absolutely no way if the men's team was in a final I'd be going for any fucking family lunch 🤣
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Has "Climbs mountains" in Bio, but can't navigate his way around a stationary van on his bike.
🤷♂️⛰️🚲
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@Antss1j
Only 6 of us went, me and my then fiancé (now wife), her parents and my parents.
It was 35 degrees, had to wear shorts 😅
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There's lucky Rodrigo again, with another lucky goal.
12 lucky goals this season, he must be the luckiest guy in the world.
#Lufc
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@bigphilcampion
I'm English and very proud to be so.
But the ignorance in this tweet is half the reason Ireland is still divided.
He is a nationalist from Derry/Londonderry I have no problem with his choice of Tattoo that's his choice.
What did you expect him to get a Union Jack? 🇮🇪🇬🇧
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@ItsDemonJD
@shootersshootp
Why are yanks so uptight about boobs?
Literally any beach in Europe in the summer be it in Spain, Greece, Portugal, Italy etc you'll see women topless.
I assume women don't sunbathe topless on beaches in America?
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If you're queuing up outside Aldi to buy a "Prime Hydration" drink for just £1.99.
Then you're a fucking moron.
For "Prime" hydration I'd suggest water (please see your nearest tap for further information) 💦
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@KiingJake_
@stacy_jMCFC
I like how she kept her bra on in order to keep her dignity in tact.
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Davide Somma, if you know you know!
#Lufc
You can only choose one injury-prone player to have played his whole career injury-free…
Who do you pick? 🤔
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We peaked as a club during this era and it was all thanks to one man and it wasn't Radz, Orta or Kinnear or any other snivelling corporate suit.
It was all down to MB, he made a lot of us fall in love with
#Lufc
again.
Now it's all gone to shit.
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Paul Smith Jr blocking the whole of Twitter after he searches for his own name 💩
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You know what would be a really Leeds thing for us to do would be to beat Chelsea tonight get all our hopes up and then lose to Brighton at the weekend 🤣
#Lufc
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1. He's a winger who can't cross.
2. He has about 5 good games a season.
3. He's a Championship level winger.
Hope this helps.
#Lufc
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@jakesharples_7
@DeadlineDayLive
You don't look like you've got £13 let alone £13m 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Imagine we beat QPR on Friday, go 4 points ahead of Ipswich and then they lose to Hull and Coventry away from home 🤞🏼
Then the Saints game could be a testimonial for Stuart Dallas 🤣😅
#Lufc
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@CardiffCityFC
Translation:
Forgetting to insure him.
Then trying to insure him the day after the plane disappeared (like he's some sort of inanimate object).
Then trying to weasel out of paying for him after his body is found.
Enjoy League 1 next season.
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I'm actually looking forward to the Championship next season, I know it's not what we wanted but the thought of getting rid of a lot of the dead wood is quite exciting.
Just as long as it doesn't take 16 years to get back up again!
#Lufc
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@Official_ITFC
@joerawson
Please tell me he is going to ride into Elland Road on horseback decapitate Paul Heckingbottom & save us from getting relegated next season?
#LUFC
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People getting upset about the potential appointment of Farke as head coach, why?
Proven track record of winning/getting promoted from the Championship.
Sacked by Monchengladbach but they finished 10th 🙄
Think some of you need to manage your expectations
#Lufc
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We really need to calm down as a fan base, Rutter is having a good solid start to the season.
But "cheat code" 😅
Let's not embarrass ourselves, we're 6th
#Lufc
When Dortmund looked at Georginio Rutter in the last window, they asked two questions - did Leeds want to sell and was Rutter minded to leave?
The answer was no on both counts. And as a result, Leeds have a bit of a cheat-code in the Championship:
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@footbalIfights
The guy at the start that drops someone gets punched in the back of the head then bumps into the police & exits 😂 Police are useless 🙈
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Jay Mooney the yes man to the hierarchy at
#Lufc
Shagged Firth because he could get her tickets the sad desperate cunt.
Now he's hiding behind a locked account while having the audacity to have a cover photo of him & that clown Orta.
Dispose of him Orta & Kinnear 🚮
Head of Communications at Leeds United AFC, his Twitter account is Private, just digest this fact
#lufc
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@LeeCruickshank9
I hate everything about her.
Her voice mainly goes right through you doesn't it 😧
Her Turkey teeth.
That Slim Shady dye job 🤣
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@D_Higgins_Duco
@joeboxerparker
@anthonyfjoshua
@EddieHearn
Parker isn't worth 40%. In his last flight he struggled to land a glove on a lanky shithouse watched by about 7 people on Youtube. Parker is worth 25-30% tops.
#StayHumble
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@palebackwriter
If I see him around Glasgow I might just punch him in the face.
The irony is I'd probably get sent to prison.
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Some people born in Foreign countries are hero's.
Some people born in Foreign countries are villains.
You see how that works folks.
Immigration isn't bad, it just needs to be better regulated with more thorough checks into people's background (criminal history etc).
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@MichaelBensonn
Yeah Bradley Skeete getting flattened in Bilbao......................
......miles ahead 😂
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@Jake3772
@ItsDemonJD
@shootersshootp
Illegal to sunbathe topless but totally legal to sell a gun to an 18 year old 🤣
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This will be an extremely unpopular opinion within our fanbase, but IMO Joffy will be playing in League 1/League 2 in a couple of seasons.
I think he'll have a great career at that level, maybe he'll make it to the Championship. But I can't see him cutting it at PL level myself
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When you see we Dan James and Jaidan Anthony to bring on as attacking subs you can't deny Farke has been backed, we've got a great squad for this level of football and realistically speaking we need to be finishing in the top 6 minimum
#Lufc
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Who do you want to win the
#SnookerWorldChampionship
?
My list in order of preference:
1. Ronnie 🚀🐐
2. The Dude 😎
3. The Hawk 🦅
4. Dave Gilbert 🚜
5. Gary Wilson 💨
6. Tom Ford 🦊
7. Mark Williams 🏴
8. John Higgins 🪄🏴
9. Anybody but Trump 💩
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@RedJacaranda
@AJCno1
@Ben_COYS
@Itz_ShadowGamer
@STEFANCOYS
Except he isn't dead is he, he's playing professional football for Chelsea.
Meanwhile her family have been visiting her grave for 11 years.
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11 years ago today, I married my best friend, yes we've changed but I still love you as much then as I do now babe ❤️👰🤝🤵🙌
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Anybody else being constantly being followed/having their posts likes by Porn Bots?
It's honestly never ending.
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Still annoys me to this day we let them score afterwards, play to the whistle.
Bamford going down like a big girls blouse as well is embarrassing.
Klich and Berardi 😍
Pontus Jameson was right, Marcelo Bielsa was wrong (on this occasion).
#Lufc
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@STVNews
Why? The Bear was in the Alps it's natural environment the Jogger was choosing to Jog through a mountain range that is home to these indigenous animals.
Just leave it be.
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@lufcgilly
@GeneKellyStand
@craigyb2310
@FBAwayDays
Footballs in the 50s/60s absorb water like Pasta 😅
My Granddad was a professional footballer in the 50s and he said it was like heading a brick.
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@LUFC
How about we buy a Striker who can actually score.
Buy a winger who can beat a man and cross into the box.
Buy a CB who can defend.
It's not rocket science you arseclowns.
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@__luvjayy
@lochsong22
@Unexplained
He doesn't know. Alfred Gaynor was sentenced to life imprisonment.
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@tomo_w94
@Bantamchris1
Madness, she can't see what a massive hypocrite she is.
Each to their own if they enjoy it but it's not for me, I haven't watched any of it.
I fail to see the problem, people watch what they want, I don't watch things that don't interest me.
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If I was Kell Brook I'd agree to Queen Khan's weight rehydration limit of 10lbs. Then I'd weigh in fight day about 165lbs take the monetary fine and flatten the chinny cunt.
#KhanBrook
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Joel Piroe & Pascal Struijk both born in August 1999, both played for Netherlands youth international teams. Crysencio Summerville (they follow each other on Instagram) also both played for Netherlands international youth teams. Just saying they're already friends
#Lufc
😕
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Southampton are truly shite but now they've won more games this season in the league than us.
Some woeful teams down in the bottom 6.
Saints, Leicester, Bournemouth, West Ham, Everton and Us.
All 6 pure shite, mad to think 3 of those will stay up 🤣
#Lufc
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@xsullengirlx
@____B_S____
OP claims to be an "animal lover" who mainly tweets "animal content" think maybe just maybe they're just an animal 😅
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Javi Gracia has won 3 of his 6 PL games in charge this season.
Jesse Marsch won only 4 in 20, make of that what you will.
#Lufc
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@Geoc1987
@CallumSmith23
Be careful what you say to the Smith brothers George you night end up getting blocked 😂
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@rugbyworldcup
@PortugalRugby
So brilliant to see!
We need a second tier six nations competition for the Northern Hemisphere Asap
@WorldRugby
sort it out.
Double leg home/away play off for promotion/relegation with the bottom placed 6 nations team annually.
Georgia, Romania, Spain, Germany etc.
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"It's done, it's done"
Fully grown man crying at the football, fucking grow up.
#OldFirmDerby
#Celtic
#Rangers
🏴🇬🇧🇮🇪
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@BBCSport
Women playing best of 3? How is that fair? So Dave does 40 hours a week at the factory & Jane does 24 yet they both get paid equally? 👀
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@EFL
@MitreSports
@bfc_official
@NorwichCityFC
@CardiffCityFC
@dcfcofficial
@Official_HUFC
@LutonTown
how about Doukara Vs Forest 👀
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@absondabs
@m2palmer
Worst night? How often do you wash it?
Worst night makes it sound like not all that often.
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@thisisnickers
@Harryslaststand
Perspective she lives in a Palace & has never worked a day in her life. She couldn't be more out of touch 👀
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@PhilHayYEP
Looking forward to the excuses from Orta & Radriazzni on the 10th of August already.
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@reallordgreen
Our fans that refuse to wear Red, grow up it's just a colour.
Nobody is asking you to wear a Scum shirt, sometimes red clothes are nice.
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@AJCno1
@Ben_COYS
@Itz_ShadowGamer
@STEFANCOYS
He had a few alcoholic drinks, drove his car into a brick wall at 70mph in a 30mph limit in wet rainy conditions.
His passenger a 22 year old woman died, he didn't even get sent to prison.
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Philip Nonce Schofield "Do you want me to die"
The British public "Yes"
We all know this coward isn't going to kill himself, can't hang out the back of teenage boys when you're dead can you.
Hope he ends himself immediately, if you disagree you're a nonce sympathiser.
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Paddy Barnes won't fight Andrew Selby or Sunny Edwards. Because they aren't worthy opponent's. But he's ok to fight TBA next week! I wonder who TBA will be?
@SunnyEdwards
@andrewselby1
@paddyb_ireland
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@caitlinsmithxx
@pro_dylanmoran
Having lived up here for 13 years now I can confirm you are indeed a "special bunch" 😂🏴
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@jensim2000
@aawestbrook
@mollymcghee
Well that's absolute bollocks because both my wife and daughter seem to find any inanimate object on the stairs invisible.
It's only me who puts thing's on them and carrys them up as I go.
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@LUFC
Sorry lads we can't make that date we've got an FA cup quarter final to play that weekend 😅
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@ChurchillROFC
@Jarmesjordan88
@AVFCOfficial
@JackGrealish1
@tomniallstokes
Looks like a cross between James Cordon and Boris Johnson.
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You'd think I'd be nervous about playing Leicester tonight but it's hard to be nervous when you expect absolutely nothing other than defeat.
I accepted relegation after those back to back home shambles against Palace & Liverpool.
A win/draw would be a pleasant surprise.
#lufc
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BREAKING: Leeds have agreed a £12m fee for Swansea striker Joel Piroe.
The deal is expected to be completed today.
[Simon Jones/Daily Mail]
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Oleksandyr Usyk beats Dillian Whyte easy!
Don't @ me you Cunts I'm right you're wrong.
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Get vaccinated they said.
Get double jabbed and you'll be free.
Get a booster and protect the vulnerable they said.
What's the point in vaccinations if you're going to cancel/close everything regardless?
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I like Josh Kelly but imagine he did all that daft gloves down shit against:
Keith Thurman Jr
Errol Spence Jr
Terence Crawford
He'd be on his arse, let's hope as he steps up he respects the game.
#GeorgeKelly
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