Harry Jenkins
@HarryJenkins
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comedian + brummie / maker of @closeupcomedyuk
Joined January 2012
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RIP Ewen Macintosh. He will outlive us all by being involved in one of the greatest scenes ever.
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Incredible incredible moment last night as people were asked to come on stage if they thought they were wearing the biggest bargain, and then the audience would decide who the winner was.
First woman revealed a prosthetic leg, told the room she got it free on the NHS. She won.
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My upbringing wasn't by any means perfect, but I am so so grateful that it never stooped to levels so unbelievably low that we all wore matching pyjamas on Christmas Eve
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Snobs Nightclub, Smallbrook Queensway, Birmingham, UK.
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Best LBC call of 2019
@mrjamesob
- absolutely cringeworthy listening
When this caller lost an argument with James O'Brien, he shouted "you're a snowflake loser" before hanging up.
@mrjamesob
|
#BorisJohnson
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I see 'Piers Morgan, Uncensored' is having a good one tonight
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The absolute 👸
@jessphillips
coming to DDC's basecamp to do some deliveries for the day – in an area that isn't even get constituency. A proper MP
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If you had a choice between living in London or living in Birmingham, which pub in Moseley would be your local?
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Absolutely stunning line from
@jessphillips
in this
@TheNewsAgents
report.
"He said in his Mayoral Manifesto he was going to set up an aid route to Gaza...how are you going to do that then, on the Number 11 bus?"
One of Birmingham's finest.
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28 years of marriage today between my Mum and Dad. One half of the pair not present for the party sadly, but I'm forever satisfied knowing that if Dad had grown and become the half the person that my mum is today, then they'd have been quite a formidable set. Guinness raised 🍻
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It’s
@Autism
Week. This is my twin brother Ben. He can’t play the piano, he can’t count cards and he won’t be in the Paralympics. He does, though, make a cracking orange squash, care little for your imperfections and have one of the most beautiful smiles. Be more like Ben.
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What is the greatest structure ever built?
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It's not every day you share an 8% double IPA in
@Kilder_Bar
with Mike Skinner but there we go... Original Pirate Material all day long
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I was always very sceptical about getting prescribed powerful drugs for my skin but after some persuasion this is the result of 7 weeks of them...worked almost overnight...if your skin is shit, please go for it as you could end up looking as good as me
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Liz Truss could literally go down in history as the person who murdered the Queen and yet all I will ever remember her for is her take on cheese imports. Iconic.
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Get on the train to Birmingham
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I got married on Saturday in Ronda. That's the Ronda in Spain, not the one in Glamorgan. Really loved every single second of it and I feel incredibly lucky.
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Have I honestly just witnessed a Birmingham based business actually ask a street food trader to cater for their birthday event in exchange for an Instagram Post...? My head hurts
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Who is this absolute queen
“I’ve not got that many years left of me and I’m not going to be fastened in a house.”
Here’s how one 83-year-old in Barnsley reacted to the news that tier three restrictions will be introduced in South Yorkshire from Saturday.
See more here:
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Just witnessed a bloke in Halesowen on a ladder turning the head of a speed camera to the left towards a fence. The rebellion has begun
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Love when outside operators come to the city and just stick the word 'Bab' on all their marketing campaigns, like we're a city of simpletons and that's our bat call
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It's
#AutismAwarenessDay
today. So here's my twin boy Benjy. The boy might not be able to talk but he's well chilled, and I'm slowly learning him to be the more handsome one of the two of us.
Remember to be nice and smile to anyone with Autism, don't expect a smile back though
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Gates 1-20 at Birmingham Airport. The cities best kept secret
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Toasting an expertly poured, ice cold pint of Guinness to Martin Jenkins, on what would be his birthday today. 13 years on still the most wonderful man I never got to know
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Bloke who had a Big Mac in his hand started on Sarg last night so he told him to go and McFuck Off...top five Sarg moments ever
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Very surprised to inform you that after his first trip to the vets, we have learnt that Archibald Jenkins is in fact a female
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If any of you lot think you ever made bad life choices before an exam, just remember...
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Ah, the old ‘give them the wrong number’ trick. Poor bloke, look at his optimism.
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My Mum’s 59 and she’s currently making crumpets (it’s 2.48am) for her 21 year-old disabled son, who’s spent the last 12 hours and 23 minutes barricading himself in a car. What did your mum do today?
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@Aoibhin_B
I have no idea why people don't think this before calling Ticketmaster out. Paul Heaton is charging £35 for his arena tour and he has publicly said he's turning a tidy profit. They've taken everyone to the cleaners.
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There are some times in my life when I stop and realise what an absolutely wonderful human my best friend is. Today was one of those times.
@JameSargeant
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Level of hangover: During the compulsory awkward small talk, I just asked the taxi driver what he does for a living
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Level of hangover: Just drove straight through a McDonald's Drive Thru without ordering, paying or collecting
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Well that has to be a low point in my life; can't get served in Wetherspoons for being here too early
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Just popped up on 'Memories'. Think it's time to deactivate my facebook
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@lewis_goodall
Don't get me started on the young families that send off personalised Christmas cards with them all sat there, matching PJ's, French bulldog in tow, in front of a plastic white tree and a live-laugh-love canvas above the fireplace. Bring back conscription.
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Bale.
Good run from Aaron Ramsey, well found.
Dinked in towards Robson-Kanu.
Taylor’s available.
What a turn. What a goal!
#DiolchChris
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Despite the infinite level of masculinity that I possess, I'm still not ashamed to say that I get Emma to parallel park the car for me
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This is far too much content to unpack on a Friday night as a Brummy. I've had to leave the pub to process this in full.
We went to Birmingham Ladywood to meet Akhmed Yakoob - a TikTok star and defence lawyer - who's in a two-horse race with Labour to become the constituency’s independent MP.
Mr. Yakoob has courted controversy for comments on Andrew Tate and domestic violence. We wanted to ask him
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We had to say goodbye to our dog, Sophia Jenkins, yesterday. For 15 years she was the most loyal, gentle + loving friend that I could have ever hoped for. Her last meal was a sirloin steak with dauphinoise potatoes and she was surrounded by so much fuss - I will really miss her.
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Did 3 nights of comedy to 3,000 people in Warwick Castle over the weekend. Went well, nothing blew up and good feedback across the board. Only negative is my local M&S is being replaced with a Morrisons on Tuesday so I'm fucking fuming
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@tds122
12 slips and a gully. Dreadful captaincy imo. Everyone knows a deep square leg will side-eye him.
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The Monster Raving Loony Party's position on Brexit is something we can all get behind
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Bloke offered me three cows in exchange for Emma. Told him no thanks, already got one
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Benjamin Jenkins showing us all how to really go about spending your 22nd Birthday
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We've had our favourite Trip Advisor review blown up and put outside the venues. More to come...
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Have you ever been that broke you genuinely consider that you've been a victim of fraud
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Why is everyone my age on Facebook posing for photos outside their new build when I've just been declined for buying super glue on amazon
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Choosing between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump is like choosing between which STD you would least like to have
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Nothing like a little morning dose of adrenaline like finding a Monkey in your hotel room whilst showering.
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4 gigs in 6 days this week, 1 more tonight. Viva la stand up
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You could pop a balloon and 80% of that queue would die
2 hours before the
#BigVisionRally
starts and the queue is shaping up...
Tune in from 4pm!
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Hello is that Easy Jet I'd like to book a european tour please x
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Villa's most impressive signing since Benteke in 2012 🔥🔥
Very excited to finally announce that we've partnered up with
@AVFCOfficial
to enhance their match-day experience.
Award-winning street food, live music and more starting this Monday, from 6pm. ⚽
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Shababs is the best curry house in Birmingham, and no I will not be giving way to any Right Honorable friends
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I've hit an all time low in my bullshit taxi chat - "that's the problem with wind isn't it - you never know when it'll come"
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Tonight's got me thinking how on earth we seemed to think Mr Priestman's behaviour at the OSH Disco's were in any way acceptable
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@MundialMag
At my school the year 13s did this on their last day in the middle of the night. Only they laced the balls with white road paint which, as we came to learn, is impossible to remove off of any surface. Bad old day for Charlie Watson in year 8 who headed one at the back post
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This just arrived through my door. What a nice bunch people can be sometimes...
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I refuse to believe there are enough men in the world to sustain the number of barber shops that operate in Birmingham
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