Bite Your Brum (She/Her)
@BiteYourBrum
Followers
14,689
Following
2,152
Media
8,719
Statuses
52,332
Freelance media bod by day/rowdy ‘food wanker’ by night. Often found eating cheese. Frequently ridiculous. Award-winning menace. Part time goblin. Emo Swiftie.
Birmingham, England
Joined April 2017
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Stop putting “competitive” on job adverts. Just put the salary range. Stop wasting everyone’s time.
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It’s not “all men” but it is the man who just spent 15 mins following me in his car telling me to get in it before calling me a bitch because I refused. I shouldn’t have to panic or look over my shoulder while on a quick walk, let alone in broad daylight. This shit is exhausting
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@mozi78
Hi!!! Ian’s wife here 👋🏼 For added lols to this, he’s at work with no access to his phone until 5pm so he has no idea him running away from asbo geese has gone viral. Can’t wait to see his little face when he comes home later totally confused 😂😂
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The big question in all this Jeremy Clarkson/Meghan Markle stuff really is why Camilla (MM’s mother in law and advocate of female-focused abuse charities) hangs out with a bloke who openly incites violence against her own family. Weird flex, that.
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Which song do you irrationally hate? You know that one tune that the moment you hear a few bars you get instantly angry.
I’ll start: Brimful of Asha. Go.
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Hi. Woman here. We’re much more concerned about your inability to jail rapists, actually. Sexual violence against women and girls is at an all time high, with convictions at an all time low. Maybe prioritise real problems affecting women and girls instead of dog whistle nonsense.
For the safety of women and girls, the confusion around definitions of sex and gender cannot be allowed to continue.
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Errands done. Saw more of Birmingham looking absolutely disgusting, like the people who’ve only visited a station here once in 1997 will tell you ✌🏼
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I get genuinely really annoyed when I see people slagging Birmingham off. Especially people who have probably visited once for 3 hours in 2001 as part of a work trip. I love this city, and I’ve been proud to call it my home for 12 years now. Get in the bin if you don’t like it.
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British public: “Go away and make your own money, Meghan and Harry..”
“.. no, not like that.”
Just say you hate her because she’s brown, American and not a vacant waving doormat and be done with it.
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Can’t wait to see how the Mail Online somehow turn this Brexit vote tonight into Meghan Markle’s fault tomorrow..
#BrexitShambles
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People know they don’t have to read articles or watch tv shows with Prince Harry in, right? Seems bizarre how much folk consume if they hate him so much. Go outside, have a walk, maybe get a grip 👍🏼
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The closure of John Lewis and Debenhams in Birmingham is terrible news - not just for the staff of those places but also for the other businesses that benefit from the foot traffic shoppers bring to the city as they visit. This week is pretty bleak, it has to be said.
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Ridiculously gorgeous skies over Millennium Point tonight
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A twist of fate meant that I got to attend the
@birminghamcg22
opening ceremony tonight - the atmosphere and energy was mad. Not ashamed to say I shed a little tear. Feel very proud Brummie today.
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Just turned down a (very) well paid opp via the blog because I didn’t want to promote a Wetherspoons. I hope the universe remembers this when I need some good karma..
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Sad news coming from Birmingham this morning, not really helped by a vague police statement and local and national media seemingly thrilled to imply terrorism to whip up the masses. Like any city Brum isn’t perfect, but it’s been a place I’ve been proud to call home for 15 years.
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PSA: If your name is Lucy & you have a Scottish boyfriend/husband who went to work this morning in a red tie: he’s not a nice man & you can do better. Ask him what he told his mate in a cafe today about what he got up to last weekend with Kate from the office. Then throw him out.
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Sorry, should point out I’m absolutely fine and am now enjoying a pretty much deserted reservoir all to myself. And some swans ✌🏼
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but come July DONT 👏🏼 SPEND 👏🏼 YOUR 👏🏼 MONEY 👏🏼 IN 👏🏼 WETHERSPOONS
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The Flapper is officially back in business 🥳 Been so proud to work with the team on relaunching this brilliant Brum venue. Big love to Sam and her family who have worked so hard to bring her back.
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Annual reminder of the greatest piece of visual marketing that has ever existed
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I love the people of Brum. Every beer garden we’ve ended up up we’ve shared a table with randoms and everyone’s chatted and been friendly.
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Tell me that one about Birmingham being a grey shit hole again..?
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Recently I went for my 6 month follow up smear test after having CIN3 precancerous cells removed. My results letter today shows that treatment was successful in keeping me healthy and those nasty cells no longer exist. That smear in 2019 has potentially saved my life. Book yours.
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Shout out to my husband who has recognised his wife is hurting and tired this week and has offered his unconditional love, solidarity and empathy without looking for praise or a pat on the back. See boys, it is possible 👍🏼
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Why does Birmingham stink of literal shit today?
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Amazing really, considering how much she shafted people..
Margaret Thatcher was afraid of anal sex in the 1980s
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Sooo! I don’t really know what happened, but last night I got THIS. Thank you to all the kind people who congratulated & cheered for me - you’re all legends. I honestly was cheering for everyone except me, so this is all rather mental and I’m still quite confused 😂
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*Nice news* Happy to share that I’m the new food & drink columnist for JQ Life. Bringing you the best of where to eat and drink in and around Jewellery Quarter & St Paul’s - with lots of new openings and growth in this area of the city I’m exited to spread the love ✌🏼
@JQBID
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Once more for the people on bikes: the canal path is not just for YOU. There are other people using them and you do not have the monopoly on them. If it’s a bend or tunnel and you can’t see what’s around the corner, best not cycle like your Lance fucking Armstrong, yeah?
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“YES - it’s fucking gravy season!”
- My husband, Sept 1st 2019
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And that’s a wrap on
@birminghamcg22
. I’ll miss all the colour, high fiving and busy streets full of people having fun. Well done, Brum.
#CommonwealthGames2022
#B2022
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37 and fucking fabulous. Thanks for all the birthday love today ❤️
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(Ad-client) It’s been a long time coming but I come bearing ace news. Thrilled to say The Flapper is back - for good this time. Saved from the developers and lovingly restored, the pub looks gorgeous. Delighted to be working with owner Sam, details here:
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Global superstar ‘Raging Bull’ has moved into Centenary Square. As new neighbours go, this one is pretty special. Lovely to have you, pal 🙌🏼
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“But Birmingham is just grey and horrible..”
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I know everything feels really depressing this week, so here’s some pictures of Brum looking lovely in the sunshine this morning ✌🏼
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Big fan of Kawataku that’s popped up behind Mailbox. A tiny Japanese/Korean store and cafe, you can be very well fed for very little - nothing on the menu is more than £8. Both these dishes came to £11 with a drink 🤯👌🏼
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On this day 9 years ago I walked nonchalantly down New Street to meet a boy for a first date. We got absolutely hammered, snogged a lot and I knew when I left him at the station something had started. I didn’t think I’d end up married to him, like, but life is full of surprises.
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Delighted to spend yet another weekend not seeing my parents or friends for the greater good while other people choose to give absolutely zero fucks. THRILLED.
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Big love to my 67-year-old mum who gave a photo of Katy Perry circa 2017 to her hairdresser this morning and said “make me look like her” 👏🏼😂
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Your reminder that a minister caught having a sneaky g&t tinnie outside of work was held to more account by both media and government than the current health secretary repeatedly breaking the law while at work to make his mates rich✌🏼
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Losing followers for calling out racism. Love to see the trash taking itself out 👋🏼
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I JUST WANT TO SEE MY PARENTS AGAIN YOU UTTER FUCKING CRETINS
Crowds gathering in
#HydePark
to demand an end to
#Lockdown
.
Is this British "common sense"?
This is what Tories want
#HerdImmunity
more death
#COVIDIOTS
Govt given an impossible task to the Police and in three weeks there will be more pressure on the
#NHS
#StayHomeSaveLives
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Friendly reminder to those who doubt our beautiful city - have THAT.
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Prince of Wales on Cambridge Street (by Arena) has been rescued and had an ‘old man’ makeover - reopen now. Loads of reasonably priced ales and I found some cheese and onion cobs on the bar. If you enjoy the likes of Jewellers Arms and The Welly this is probably for you. Enjoy 😊
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Can’t remember who asked me if the blossom was out yet in Brindleyplace earlier this week but the answer is yes 👍🏼
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Girls - just spoken with my GP surgery and they’ve started offering smears again. If you’re due one, or like me due your important follow up after having cell removal treatment, please contact them and book yourself in. Don’t wait for Boris to tell you you’re allowed one ffs.
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Everyone’s favourite water ho is back! Nice to see you, Flooz. Hope you’re wetter than an otter’s pocket soon.
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Hidden gem alert. Sanka ramen bar within Let’s Go supermarket in China Town. £10 for a ramen and a drink. You’re welcome.
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@jessphillips
Sending Raab out on the press rounds this morning to defend *that* picture just goes to show how much they don’t give a shit, because that man always makes every situation worse.
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In other happy news, Victoria Square is (for the first time in forever) free of maintenance works, wire fences, diggers and men wearing neon. The Floozie is free once more. The steps can be sat on. Go enjoy your beautiful public space before the German Market arrives ffs 🥹✌🏼
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Oh Birmingham. When the sun shines and the skies are blue you really are bloody lovely.
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In other news, I proper fucking love you Birmingham 🙏🏼
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@LadyDetectives1
For a ‘journalist’ you’re not very good at researching facts, are you? There’s literally Netflix documentaries on this. I’m embarrassed for you.
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Weather report: sunny but absolutely pissing freezing. Floor is a death trap. Wish I hadn’t bothered. But look how pretty she is.
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This week I turned 36, ate Michelin star food, grew some balls and made a big life decision, took a massive chance (that paid off) and managed to not die after 5 days on the lash. It’s been... emotional 🥴
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People who haven’t been to Birmingham in 10 years: “Birmingham’s shit.”
Everyone in Birmingham: “I’m sorry, and you are...”
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Big love to Sainsbury’s on Colmore Row that just refused to let me buy one can of beer because I didn’t have ID and he refused to believe I was over 25. Hitting 36 in a few months.. I’ll take it.
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Last month I helped relaunch an iconic Birmingham pub, took on 2 new copywriting clients & signed off on a national project. So here I am, sat in the
@GrandHotelBrum
on a midweek afternoon, sipping this champagne & eating this lobster roll - because I earned it. Just me, for me❤️
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Those ‘prostitutes’ that Peter Sutcliffe killed were women. Human beings. Whether sex workers or not, they deserved to be alive as much as anyone else - change the narrative.
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No one talks enough about how beautiful the building housing Hotel du Vin is. Quite sexy for a former eye hospital, no?
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Man overheard in bar queue at Les Mis interval:
“Babe, it’s not that I’m not enjoying it, I’m just saying it’s a lot of singing. Like, all these people do is fucking sing.”
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Things I would like to see more of in Brum: Bottomless Sunday roasts with beer not Prosecco and unlimited roast spuds. Someone make that happen.
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If you turn to BBC Parliament now, you can witness
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
seemingly falling asleep on live TV. In the House of Commons. While his colleagues are talking to him about the future of the country. Wow.
#BrexitDebate
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@Independent
You can’t magically “find” money tax payers contribute. It exists. It’s not made of unicorn farts and happy thoughts.
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THIS is Birmingham ❤️❤️❤️❤️
We’re all ready at Birmingham New Street for our annual Christmas Eve meal for the homeless - the food has just arrived! 🎄
#christmas
#christmaseve
#charity
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Good morning! Quick reminder that freedom of speech isn’t the same as freedom to say whatever hateful shit you like with zero consequence. You’re not being cancelled; you’re being held to account. Have a great day✌🏼
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I’m 35 today. Having a bowl of Coco Pops with a glass of champagne for breakfast. Living my best life.. in jail.
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Last day of the games today. Shout out to all the volunteers for working their socks off for free and being the backbone of the last week and a bit. We see you, be proud 🫶🏼
#Birmigham2022
#CommonwealthGames2022
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New | In light of the new tier 2 Covid restrictions, here’s a quick read list featuring bars, cafes, restaurants and pubs in Birmingham with outside space to mix households.
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I wish I could convince someone to give me £850k to shut down for 5 weeks and come back looking exactly the same.
First look at popular city centre Wetherspoon pub after £850k transformation
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Absolutely howling at the people who have genuinely taken this post as me hating Brum. Wow. Brain cells in the toilets today, clearly.
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Just overheard a girl saying Slug and Lettuce is the best cocktail bar in Birmingham and now I wish I was dead
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Had a sneak peek around
@GrandHotelBrum
this afternoon. Blimey, she’s a beauty. Opens officially tomorrow.
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