mousey ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
@HIBlSCUS
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ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ ♡ xⓋx ♡ 25 ♡ they/them ♡ ૮ • ﻌ - ა
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men be like “this is my emotional support ex girlfriend”
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remember to leave out milk and cookies for george bush tonight ❤️
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i do not want a “job” or a “career”. i want a “nap” and a “small kiss on the forehead”
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did not realize you guys were trying to fuck each other and get peoples numbers when you would post “iMessage games?”. I was just really excited to play chess with y’all 😭
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remember to leave out milk and cookies for george bush tonight ❤️
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“Only simps buy onlyfans” okay then explain this absolute king
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I’m begging y’all to please get tested after every sexual partner lol
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i am so tired of all late night places being centered around alcohol. i do not want to be at a bar or a brewery or whatever. I want to sit in an ambiently lit room with other moderately social people who just want to hang out, make art, read books, etc. in a shared space.
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YES I’m emo. YES I’m bisexual. NO I cannot properly drive a car
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consider going vegan this thanksgiving by stuffing your girlfriend, and not a turkey
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yet another day of being a slut in theory and not in practice
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i was having a bad day but then i remembered I’m built like this
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My coworker is trying so hard to learn how to correctly use my pronouns I’m 🥺
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women want ONE THING and it’s DISGUSTING
the new le creuset colorway has me screaming crying & throwing up
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found the vegan equivalent to guys on tinder posing next to fish they catch
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my “straight” boyfriend discussing my gender identity: “i love that you’re my girlfriend and also like, a dude”
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when i was 17 i dated a dude who was 24 and had a crippling coke addiction but by far his worst trait was his giant stomach tattoo of the state of florida that was also somehow a gun with a jiu jitsu belt tied around it
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had a viral tweet and now it’s time for an obligatory thirst trap
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@kaiaangelique
no HIGHKEY, that shit hurts even more because they be on good ass terms for too long 😭
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the amount of men taking this tweet as an opportunity to dm me about playing chess with me to get my number. stop. ur done
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just going to start calling random bands “hardcore” and see who yells at me about it
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has anyone tried sending a dom to rescue that sub stuck in the ocean
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am i really the “black sheep” of my family or am i just smarter and hotter than everyone else
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@adrierising
@JeffBezos
i think it comes really easy for him, actually. he’s already doing it ❤️✨😌
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we have come full circle into the tumblrification of twitter
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my boyfriend just turned to me and said “i want to put my dick in your mouth“ and my immediate reaction was “but i just heated up my lasagna”
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“one of the hottest outfits I’ve ever seen in my life” meanwhile it’s literally just the tiniest shorts and crop top you’ve ever seen
Mouse was wearing one of the hottest outfits I’ve ever seen in my life when I left the house and I’m still disgruntled about it
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consider the following: we cancel the animated Mario movie and make a live action version where all characters are played by Danny Devito.
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my dog has a cone on his head and has recently discovered that he can trap our cat inside of the cone with him
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woke up without boobs in my mouth again. when will my suffering end
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you’re not allowed to bully me throughout high school and then try and flirt with me years later. that’s illegal. fuck you
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“hardcore twitter” “straightedge discourse” “hot take” GO OUTSIDE!!
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i refuse to do the anonymous messages thing on Instagram because I have been on the internet long enough to have endured the trauma that was askfm
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@tomokoseph
while we’re at it can we replace “sis” with the good ol gender neutral “m’theydy”
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i do not celebrate 4/20. I am an adult. I smoke weed every day without a reason.
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@tinashemuriya
This kind of mindset is not helpful and is why we need to destigmatize getting tested. Slut shaming attributes to the stigma; if you feel that your partners or friends have been engaging in casual sex, you should just encourage them to get tested with you! 💖
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i have 2 be the cutest lil btch at the bar for some reason
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i am a:
⚪️ boy
⚪️ girl
🔘non-binary person
looking for:
⚪️love
⚪️companionship
🔘people to stop misgendering me even though i constantly remind everyone that i use they/them pronouns
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Why the actual fuck did some girl i went to high school with just send me a Snapchat (red flag) of her and my little brother captioned “i just fucked your brother” ??? Excuse me???
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there is no reality in which I am ever asking someone to unlock a case for me at a target. why do I need to call over an associate, in an already understaffed store, to watch me choose the $1 loofah that I want. please go to hell
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you’re not an e-boy, you’re just a 25 year old man with chipped nail polish and a striped tshirt. please stop.
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@bjorkasmr
@pjvolkisawful
i want this woman to fist me with one hand while holding that iced coffee in the other
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just saw some of those “boobs” things everyone’s been talking about. big fan
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practicing my mugshot for when I’m sentenced 2 life in prison for stealing ur girl
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@liIpochaco
yes!! I agree!! I do think most people benefit from taking breaks from dating & dedicating time/energy to themselves, but often mistake that for believing they have to be in a perfect place mentally (or otherwise) to be able to be a good partner, & I just don’t think that’s true
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@notsofiacoppola
your teeth must be incredible if your dental hygienist is trying to hang out
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Not sure why im getting so many comments that are being deliberately obtuse. “Just invite people over”. I don’t always want to host! Sometimes I just want to go out without having to be around people who are drinking! My friends aren’t always free when I want to do things! Sheesh
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