FunnyMaine.com
@FunnyMaine
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College Football’s Favorite Comedian. #TheFANalyst BOOKING & ALL INQUIRIES: booking @funnymaine .com
Birmingham, AL
Joined July 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Please read ALL of my tweets in a joking tone. I hate saying some silly shit and here come Serious Simon with a thinkpiece.
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Fantasia tried to tell y’all what Taraji tryna tell y’all. Folks don’t be listening tho
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Dear Nick Saban,
We do not accept your resignation. Take a few days, relax, play w the grands and we’ll see you on Monday.
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Saban retired.
Coach K retired.
Belichick in limbo.
Cal no longer at UK.
😮💨 Times are a-changing.
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49 STATES: “What time do the Eagles play the 49ers?
ALABAMA: “What time Jalen and Devonta play?”
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I’ve talked to many former Bama players. Every single one of them tell me that next to Saban, ONE man was key to the dynasty. Kirby knew too, that’s why he hired him.
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Win… we da topic.
Lose… we da topic.
Old coach… we da topic.
New coach… we da topic.
Win a natty… we da topic.
Lose a natty… we da topic.
Sign recruits… we da topic.
Lose recruits… we da topic.
No matter how you stack it…
WE DA MFN TOPIC. 🐘
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A championship-caliber coach is about to get firsthand advice from a legendary coach and you bitches think it’s safe out here???
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Willie is helping Bama recruit now.
Y’all in trouble 😂
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Eh hem…
-FL Gov Ron DeSantis picked a fight with Disney
-Disney owns ABC and ESPN
-The state Capitol of Florida is Tallahassee
-Florida State is located in Tallahassee
-Florida State gets shut out of playoff that is overseen by ESPN and loses millions
I’m. Just. Saying.
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BRUH HAND ME SOME FKN SHOULDER PADS 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Even if they win tonight, Georgia is not the new Bama. They’re the old Clemson.
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Since “The Kick Six”…
ALABAMA
•3 National Championships
•3 Heismans
•6 SEC Championships
•7 Playoff Appearances
•27 First Round Picks
auburn
•1-1 in the Birmingham Bowl
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Folks really confused how Bama got in with a 10pt loss at home to a playoff team 😂. Totally forgetting that Ohio State got in LAST YEAR after a 22pt loss at home.
Y’all don’t be watching these games fr bruh lol
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“Bama overrated”
“Bama garbage forreal”
“They only win cause the refs”
*Bama player enters the portal*
“OMG, WE NEED HIM!” 🗣️😩😩😩
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Me, looking at the next coach when he has one strand of hair out of place
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Fire every referee from that game 😂. Allum
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2nd and 26 (Tua)
1st and 48 (Jalen H)
1st and 97 (Bryce)
4th and 31 (Jalen M)
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Bill O’Brien handcuffed Bryce, talked down on Milroe and got Mac in hell.
The man is a menace.
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Please respect my privacy at this time.
Be back in 5 mins.
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Next time you’re on an empty football field, stand on the 36-yard line and try to throw a dart to the pylon in the back corner of the end zone. The fact that Milroe did that in real time with defenders is really damn incredible.
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Denny already got the chimes tbh. Let’s just call it Bryant-Saban stadium cause honestly that’s scary asf
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DID NICK JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID??? NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!
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-Football team on a 3-game losing streak.
-Basketball team on a 3-game losing streak to your rival
-Rolled toomer’s after Saban retired but still can’t lock in recruits w him gone
🤢 Poverty program.
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Facebook just told me it’s “Go’on Kalen” now 😂. Y’all good w this?
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Hated to see Shead from Houston miss most of tonight’s game vs Duke with an injury. If nothing else, I’ll always remember him for this moment in Tuscaloosa 🫡
University of Houston’s Jamal Shead stopped to pick up chairs that were kicked and trash that was dumped by a Cougars staffer and player after an emotional loss
@brhoops
Awesome gesture 🙏
(via
@AustinRader24
)
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This was amazing to witness in person! Them boys looooove them some Roll Tide Willie 😂 RDT
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Yall have made me a beleiever. Lane really the only one who aint scared to follow Pop Pop
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Prayers to the Leach family and the Mississippi State community. This is a huge loss for college football fans everywhere 🙏🏾🕊️
MSU Bulldog family, college football community mourns the death of Coach Mike Leach
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Bama won the game… about 7-10 dudes were singing Rammer Jammer… old dude starts cussin’ at em… other dude & lady joined in on the cussin’… Us Bama folks didn’t cuss at or threaten anybody. Tape don’t lie. Them folks were some sore losers 🤷🏽♂️
#TheNevilleTapes
#RollTide
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Ah yes. The ole “Our supermajority state government who I loyally support is affecting ME now, so we must act” trick
"Government is supposed to help us and our families, not prevent my son and his wife from having their first child or my grandchild." - Auburn Head Coach Bruce Pearl on the battle to protect IVF in the state of Alabama.
@StevenPearl22
@coachbrucepearl
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It’s official. Again. 🐘
Ain’t Really Leave But I’m Back 🥰!!
#RollTide
🐘
@AlabamaFTBL
@KalenDeBoer
@GrubbRyan
@GoatLatia
@GoSaraland
@RyanMWms
@Brett_Boutwell
@tjkelly17
@coachTigg
@SaralandSchools
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The way everybody came together to pray for and love on a stranger and simultaneously get Skip Bayless tf up outta here... I have hope in this country again. This was beautiful! This was unity. 🇺🇸
#GetWellDamarHamlin
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There were 8 recruits better than BMiller? 🤔 What dey name is?
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This is where I remind y’all that we ain’t but TEN whole days into this year.
2020 didn’t even crank up till around March
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Whoever did this in the middle of Jalen Hurts’ dad interview, God bless you!
#RollTide
#FunnyMaine
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Coach DeBoer be smiling alot. That’s really the part that we’re not used to.
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"Yall Bama fans ran him off" 🥴
Standing ovation when he takes the field. Standing ovation when he walks the stage. Congrats + a big
#RollTide
to the legend himself,
@JalenHurts
💪
#BamaGrad
#WhereLegendsAreMade
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Yall delusional LOL. Dont nobody want that man
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If You’re In One Of Alabama’s Border States (MS, FL, GA, TN) Or You Live In Counties Near Birmingham, Please Report If You See Anyone That Resembles Carlee To Your Local Authorities
#FindCarlee
#FindCarleeRussell
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When it’s all said and done, we gone roll with who wanna roll. Family Bidness 🐘🤞🏾
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Bama haters during that missed Running-Into-The-Kicker 😂
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Silence is undervalued
No doubt the NFL is considering postponing the rest of this game - but how? This late in the season, a game of this magnitude is crucial to the regular-season outcome ... which suddenly seems so irrelevant.
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Everybody making a big deal about Bama’s transfers 😂. Man y’all have short memories. No worries. I’ll serve as a reminder.
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How you not love her? 😂
Reporter: "(The crowd wasn't) very friendly to you."
Dawn Staley: "Actually they were. They were calling me boo."
@dawnstaley
😂
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Pete Golding needs to be in front of a federal judge
Dallas Turner is the 2023 SEC Defensive Player of the Year
• 50 tackles, including a team-high 13.5 for loss and 9 sacks.
• Team-leading 13 quarterback hurries with 2 forced fumbles and 1 pass breakup.
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REMINDER: Bama has only gone undefeated TWICE in Saban’s 17 seasons. There was an 88.3% chance they’d lose at least once this season.
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What info is this "spy balloon" supposed to gather that Google Earth hasn't already? Took me 10 seconds to get inside the Chinese Capitol & see dozens of citizens with no drip
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Welp. Looks like y’all are heading into the “Find Out” chapter. 😬 That district was redder than an Apple on a firetruck at a stop sign
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“Y’all haven’t been a bully to UGA for a while now…” -Guy below
@FunnyMaine
Y'all haven't been a bully to uga for a while now. Yall should probably focus on actually bullying Auburn instead of praying for miracles when yall play them.
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Y’all ain’t gone play Alabama like we ain’t got no scenery. This a picture of Bessemer during the solstice
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Two QBs, both named Jalen, both born in Texas, both play/played for Bama, led their teams to game winning TDs this weekend! What a time! 🅱️🅱️🅱️
#RollTide
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Just hanging out w Cornelius Bennett, Coach Sylvester Croom and John Stallworth. No biggie ☺️
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Dear Government…
You’re not gonna ban guns. I get it.
You’re not gonna punish gun makers. Ok.
You’re not gonna make it harder for folks to get a gun. Whatever.
The question is tho… What tf are you gonna do? This shit ain’t normal.
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These other fanbases scared and upset😂. They really thought we was gone have to hire Les Miles lol
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