Anybody interested in non-dual states for dating, touch, play, purpose, and negotiation?

Here's a simple practice to get you in touch with your gut. Take a seat. Just notice all the subtle, or not so subtle tingles, twinges, twists, tensions, textures, relaxations, and movements of your inner belly. Your guts. Your intestines. The game is to see how much you can let go and let it do what it does and be how it is. Let us know how it goes.

@QiaochuYuan Please excuse me for having a terrible reason to be excused

I find screen fasting to be very helpful to increasing life fulfillment. If* I'm noticing my ambition, anticipation, and moment by moment plans aren't including my body's sense of fulfillment. I often get these ambitious impulses to see something come to life. A CAD drawing. The winning moment of a video game. The ping of validation that comes from someone reaching out to me on my cell phone. I'll do those things, get a little rush, and feel dissatisfied on the other side. Like something must be wrong. I did the thing I wanted to do, but don't feel any better or fuller from it. But if I reflect back on my creative process, I didn't really anticipate being fulfilled. With the CAD drawings, I only ever anticipated feeling a small ping of excitement. I didn't include feeling fuller, proud, relieved, or more accomplished in my plan. I notice a lot of other people also doing this and spin out. Lost, confused, searching for meaning. I've also seen a lot of people find more personal satisfaction when they fast from screens, porn, video games, or any cheap and easy response to dopamine. They stop acting too soon and begin to wait for a more important or higher order call to action. Which often includes a deeper sense of accomplishment and self worth. I also don't think screen fasting is the answer to all life's fulfillment problems. I know people who can be on screens all day and still feel quite fulfilled. Each one of them is at least somewhat aware of their personal satisfaction in their planning process, whether habitually or due to a process of thinking things through before acting. If you relate to this struggle with impulsivity and low satisfaction, try it out. Do what good chess players do and sit through the monotonous, annoying process of including all meaningful variables in your planning process. Then make the move with the best probable outcome.

How many of y'all are also afraid that if you're not afraid of something you won't get anything done? Or be productive?

RT @selentelechia: just posted my long-overdue review of the coaching services from @FullyKnownExp (h/t @sunofdopamine) these guys are ski…

Safety for men is a big deal. Some of our guys out there were never shown safety. You were never shown how to create safety and that deep feeling of emotional warmth, stability, and smoothness that it brings. Nobody was there to protect you when you needed it. Thinking, purpose, action, life and confidence feel so so different when you feel safe. When you know how to feel safe. Even protecting others feels different when you feel safe and courageous enough to invite the challenges that may come. If somewhere deep inside of you, you feel that longing to be protected. Wishing women would handle your emotions and make you feel safe and warm. You find yourself caught up in little games to grab attention and get other people to reassure, affirm, and check in on you and your safety. Emotional or physical. Take some time for yourself. This can be a hard one. But sit alone, and honestly ask yourself "how can I feel more safe right now?" If it means curling up in a ball until you laugh at your silliness or burst into tears, do it. If it means finding other men who you know feel safe in themselves and asking for help. Do it. If it means going on a great adventure, alchemist style. Get it done.

All our guys out there with nice guy tendencies. Your heads are so absolutely stacked with predicting everyone else's needs, there's no room for your desire, your fire, your turn on, your feelings. In YOUR life, the one where you're the main character. If something feels wrong about that, or you don't like how that's going for you, you should take some very real time to clear absolutely everyone else out of your head. All those people taking up free rental space. Kick them out for 5 minutes or 30 minutes a day and ask yourself. Independent of any identified person, place, or thing. "What do I want to experience with my five senses?" Touch, taste, smell, sound, sight, space, orientation, temperature, texture, pressure, movement. Start small, simple, and present (I'm feeling warm water on my hands), and once you get the hang of it, start getting embarrassingly detailed. Eventually, when the desire is grooved strong enough, and the pressure builds high enough, the anticipation bursting out your seams, you'll just start doing nice things for yourself. Standing up for your needs. Taking action toward that career. Asking out your gym crush.

What are the states you're alternating between? I watched mind chattering and projecting a Rolodex of images reshape into the fabric of everything I could subjectively see and feel. It would radiate light, hum, or come to peace, but it would also liven up, make tunnels of connection like Donny Darko, or show me archetypal representations of the people and places observed. So, it was apparent to me that it didn't really stop existing, it just reformed into a much more helpful and pleasant layer of subjective sense.

There are so many ways I've gotten in touch with my body. Sexual exploration. Dance and movement. Breath work. Weight lifting. Testing emotional reactions to belief statements. And so on. Each of these explorations has had a meaningful impact on my quality of life. But the king of them all has been integrating my vision and voice with my kinesthetic senses. Something I'm calling embodiment of the mind. I'm used to seeing a scene in front of me, analyzing and organizing it's components into good-bad, right-wrong, useful-useless containers in my mind. Seeing and hearing thoughts spinning late at night, desperately trying to organize and quel the chaos. Talking with friends, telling them all about the systems I've created for optimal function. Every once in a while, an interesting human level story comes out. Lots of information, very little connection. The embodiments helped me tremendously over the years. I could feel my heartbeat while I danced. Sense my cock fill sharing eyes with a woman across the room. Feel my spine light up with power and movement as we moved to the bedroom. As long as I was taking action, as long as I was moving. The vibes were there. The gig was on. But conversation killed me, crushed me, and shoved my large confident body into a wallowing bucket of shame and inferiority. All these experiences, all these stories and they come out of my mouth like empty air. Little noticable impact on the conversational tone. Zero added vibes. High expectations diminished into dust and disappointment. When my body is out of touch with my mind, I see so much and so clearly, but I can't seem to touch it. Like my body is stuck inside of a fish bowl, my thoughts and what I see in the world all on the outside. Emotionally moved, but no contact. I deeply crave that contact. Constantly need to soothe myself with physical touch, new information, sex, food, or some other form of intense stimulation to cope. But there are ways, to gently bring them together. To gently dissolve that fish bowl. To touch myself with my words. To make contact with what I see and let what I see flow through me, filling me. All becomes right. My panic subsides. I know where I am. I Like where I am, and know with little doubt where I'm going, or what to create. It's peace and aliveness as one. It's joyful, playful negotiation with a rich environment of people, places, and ideas. If you can relate, reach out, give us a ping, so we can get you in touch.

@sparr0 @Aella_Girl Yes, we maintain the utmost respect for each individuals model of reality. Any shifts are agreeable to the individual

I should add the caveat that this communication with self is not a one-time fixes all kind of thing. It can feel like that because the initial assent out of a subconscious hell can feel incredible, but the communication must continue to gently maintain and rise further.

@Lvnafir @Aella_Girl Come get some coaching, we can get you recovered and back in a state of confidence in < 40 minutes. Copious amounts of failure are a requirement to improve. Get honest with your intent. Do it again but change one thing. Different person, attitude, outfit. Observe results. Repeat

@Aella_Girl You didn't believe me when I first invited you tho eh?

@TutorVals Myself, @pfiefer_ , and @sunofdopamine primarily

This also happens with other senses. Often auditory. Reaching out to bring the kinesthetic sense into the thinking seems to let the nervous system quickly discern how presently relevant the hallucinations are. What follows is usually a stronger sense of priority and organization