Frankie McNair
@FrankieMcnair
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1,717
Following
338
Media
70
Statuses
562
she/they/dynamite lay. comic with a dream and the energy of your fun aunt 💕
Melbourne, Victoria
Joined February 2020
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microdosing being bisexual by also having a large amount of the Australian population refusing to date me
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Holy shit
We are delighted to announce the Best Newcomer for 2022 is awarded to Frankie McNair!
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@bepitropakis
Hey mate :) just wanted to let you know that all the comics in Canberra who were on a lineup run by this guy have happily pulled out of the show in support ❤️ We support you and super sorry you had to go through this and are sending you lots of love ❤️
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last month i made the very sexy decision to call lifeline and today i feel the best i have in months and that is very "girlboss" of me. anyway pick up the phone and get support if you need because you deserve the time for it to get better / its incredibly sexy❤️
131114 - lifeline
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Arghhhhhhh 🫠👋
Making her television panel debut on
#QuestionEverythingAU
tonight, introducing
@FrankieMcnair
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i just moved house and my greatest fear is a mean gay walking in and immediately saying “it’s giving anko”
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Waiting in a covid testing line on Christmas Day pretending we are all characters in a Love Actually style Christmas movie. I’m playing the hot mysterious queer one who’s arc is not having covid
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! I WAS GONNA QUIT AND THEN I DECIDED TO DO A FUCKED FUN SHOW FOR THE SAKE OF JOY! LONG FORK LADY IS MY NANNETTE! Thank you
@micomfestival
and thank you
@butterflyclub
♥️ I have shows until Sunday check them out and everyone on this list!
We’re thrilled to announce that the nominees for the 2022 Best Newcomer Award are Will McKenna, Frankie McNair, Bronwyn Kuss, Steph Broadbridge, Sunanda Loves Britney and Mish Wittrup!
#MICF
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For sale. Baby shoes. Worn once. Don’t know what I was thinking.
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putting on a mid-atlantic accent and whispering "i was once like you" as i watch my friends in canberra horny posting after three weeks in lockdown while i, an anciently sexless victorian, continue to complete a custom ordered puzzle of my own face
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POV: you are a little green alien at the bar and we really dig your vibe
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i once woke up from a 72hour bender butt naked clutching a half eaten tray of homemade lasagne that I had not made and today i signed a christmas card from me and my cat. Sobriety.
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just a reminder that i am only 27 and have to pay someone to teach me relaxation techniques because I have legitimately forgotten how to relax 🙃 this isn’t a crazy new thought just a reminder that capitalism is wrecked
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I’m making a new rule if it takes more than a year for your self esteem to recover from a three month relationship then you are now legally entitled to a little present
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The queer urge to ruin every potential romantic encounter by calling them “legend” or “dude”
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i am once again reminding you that Emma Holland is an incredible photographer
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im going to the gym more then im gigging which means that come comedy festival i might not be able to make an audience laugh but i WILL be able to fight them :)
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just cracked an egg into a pot of heinz baked beans and whispered “huevos rancheros” and now feel like i have to apologise to anyone who can cook
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hooly dooly this rules
💥We’re BACK! 💥 Next Wednesday at 7:30pm on
@Channel10AU
an all new
#TGYH
with
@julia_zemiro
,
#lloydlangford
,
@FrankieMcnair
and
@joelcreasey
!
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found out i subconsciously break out into song more then the average person from my partner casually uttering the most violent sentence i’ve ever heard “dating you is like dating someone from glee”.
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whole heartedly believe that if 18year old me knew that one day i would choose to go back on my SSRIs because i felt that wanting to live was more important then being able to cum she would punch me in throat and call me a coward 🥰
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overheard a woman trying to explain to her elderly parents why they need a flat screen TV and her mum just getting annoyed and repeatedly saying “i just think if we bring the TV closer it’ll be the same!” Huge fan of this.
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my boxing gym is next to a dance studio and every day i pray for the disney channel plot twist where we put our differences aside and band together to save the building from our greedy divorcee landlord by putting on the best end of year show ever
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G’DAY PRONOUNS!
If you could use “she/they” equally that would be dope. Sometimes I feel like a WOMAN, sometimes I feel like THEM and sometimes I’m somewhere in between. It changes. Anyway here is a picture of Emma and I standing in front of the joker-coaster ✌️love yah!
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undercover boss but it’s Scott Morrison living on nothing but job seeker and unstable casual work for a month you cunt
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Too hot to be a nervous Melbourne comic. Too nervous to be a hot Sydney comic. Too sober for Brisbane. 😔
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Holy shit I just made a joke in a group chat and then someone immediately left that group chat. I’ve never bombed harder. I’ve never felt more alive.
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something stinky about receiving R U OK? emails from employers who refuse to make ongoing casual roles part-time :) give me mental health leave :)
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Me, TAFE screenwriting drop out, chain smoking in hammock.
Six year old smol child next door playing pretend: “I AM FROM NEW YAWK”!
Me: *takes Liza Minnelli dramatically long drag of cigarette* show don’t tell kid. honestly. embarrassing.
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Printing this out and putting it on my fridge. Once again, I am sorry I was on during a family time slot :)
Daisy practising her writing while watching
@TGYHOfficial
- the one with
@FrankieMcnair
🤣
“What did she do behind the shed Dad?”
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explaining to my psych that melbourne international comedy festival is a month long office christmas party where everyone is suckin and fuckin on the printer but you still have to go in and work at the office
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wild to see people from the contiki i did when i was 20 getting married and having kids…like…one dude legally died and got revived on that trip. And now he owns property?
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the nutty professor of European accents, i play all the parts baby
when u come in too hard on an accent
@FrankieMcnair
From The Most Upsetting Guessing Game in the World
@AuntyDonnaBoys
@ZacharyRuane
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i don’t really know how to articulate this but every member of the liberal party looks like they are wearing someone else’s face for the first time
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coming off anti depressants and HOLY SHIT! YOU’VE ALL JUST BEEN CUMING THAT QUICK HUH?! Good grief! my five year plan has been condensed into three with the amount of time im saving! mercy!
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crying over a man during Mardi Gras is my most bisexual moment to date
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does anyone else instinctively read the title of "The Body Keeps The Score" in the tune of ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All" or am i broken?
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wake me up when there’s an all female reboot of mr bean
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Unbroken eye contact with airport security as I skull my 2L frank green bitch water in under 30seconds next to the pour out station to establish dominance
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Relax Your Knees is a peek into the anxious brain of an aggressively optimistic dyslexic queer nightmare who was raised by TV and is trying their best (award winning comedian Frankie McNair…hello)
@micomfestival
~unhinged time to announce a show but we are manifesting 2022~💜
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just saw a group of goth teens chugging pink slurpees on a very sunny day and it’s the most normal thing I’ve seen in two years
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anyone over the age of 80 telling me how they met their husband: “we were 18 and he walked me home and a month later we were married”
me sipping a boost juice: “oh my god that’s actually fucking toxic babe”
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This but my ass cheeks on the floor everytime i have to suddenly sit down because my shower was too hot and i feel faint
A little love story - Edward James, patron of the surrealists, was so besotted with his wife, the dancer Tilly Losch, that when he saw the trail of wet footprints she left up the stairs after her bath at Monkton House, he had them woven into the carpet.
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My first solo show Relax Your Knees is extending its run until Thursday 7th because i am having a very nice time! Comedy festival rules and we are never gonna die!
@butterflyclub
@micomfestival
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I made a joke one time about doing a glamour shoot with my cat and now here we are...
📸 Emma Holland
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next time an improviser asks for a suggestion for an occupation I’m gonna yell “improviser” and either watch their brain melt out their ears or them have to explain it’s not an occupation
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*smokes frenchly* it’s been too long lovers. *coughs frenchly for like a solid 60seconds* Relax Your Knees is back for one night only at
@comedyrepublic_
. So get off your keastors and I’ll see you there *raises a glass of milo (no milk) frenchly*
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i did it. i put my heart out there. i was open. i was vulnerable. i kept a dating app for two whole days before deleting it. now please, no one perceive me for many moons. i am so tired.
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my friend Emma Holland is very good at being a friend and photographer 💖
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I can’t stop saying it
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me in lockdown dogs all the time
🤝
becoming unbearably jazzed when someone suggests a pathetic lil walk
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me: dream job, incredible supportive friends and family, a safe loving home, financial stability, my health
my depression: cry in a bathroom stall
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morning after pill and a Nescafé gold is the original breakfast of champions
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i genuinely thought all video games were like $40 max 🫠
Please enjoy this detailed analysis regarding the cost of video games.
Feat.
@FrankieMcnair
,
@MishWittrup
,
@evanms
and
@becness
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Emma’s Debutante is making its
@micomfestival
debut tonight at
@comedyrepublic_
. May the lord have mercy on our souls. 🦧
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picked mum up from melbourne airport 40mins ago and she’s already come out with “oooh I feel like i’m in Underbelly”
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floating into a Centrelink office in a silk nightgown and serving them full final act Blanche DuBois
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much like a tree falling in a forest when no-one is around, if someone is a radiant beauty but they are in lockdown are they still a 10? In this essay I will-
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just talking about Rumpelstiltskin and instinctively used they/them and cant stop laughing
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Realising that all my nudes are super identifiable by either the actively dumb tattoos on my arms or by my picture perfect rack 😩
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all women want is to develop a crush on someone unattainable who calls them by their last name and its fucking disgusting
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i never would have wanted bomb ass pussy if i knew it came with the responsibility of declining WhatsApp calls from men i slept with years ago who don't think 14,000km is too far to "see if there's something here". this is my cross to bear
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she died doing what she loved, performing a solo rendition of Cell Block Tango where she played all the parts including the ballerina
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Centrelink just requested I send them all my payslips from the last 8 months...perhaps they are organising a gift? ☺️
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showing my hairdresser reference photos of pointy faced women - her eyes well with tears, she tries to smile, “let’s get started” her voice cracks. I hold her hand and meet her eye. “we must try” I whisper. She nods. I will not be leaving with the summer chic French bob requested
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Today I defied god. They said it couldn’t be done. I would be lying if I said there weren’t moments of doubt and fear. Humbled by my own humanness. Discovering angles even Pythagoras failed to. But my god I got one. I got a good nude on a Polaroid camera. And now...I must rest.
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crying, vomiting, throwing up 🥲❤️
What are the chances of two red-headed, Australian, non-binary comedians heading to Soho...🤔
@rhysnicholson
is putting their fear to one side and highly recs checking out
@FrankieMcnair
's show this week 🙌
Tick tock, you've only got two nights left ⏰
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running around the hotel 2mins before checkout, pockets overflowing with loose lotion, leg up on the vanity trying to rip the sink out of the wall and screaming “they expect you take something!”
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it’s days like this i wish i had an office job. Go in, stand by the water cooler, my eyes bloodshot from spending all night crafting the perfect earthquake gag, and then BAM! I go “wooooaaaahhh” and spill a bit of water. They laugh. They avoid eye contact with me. Life is good.
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My suburb just went into lockdown. Please let me know if you know where I can panic buy a romantic partner, carton of cigarettes, yoga mat, and sense of purpose! ✌️😎
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driving to do a gig tonight after a week of not doing standup, convinced i’ve forgotten how to do comedy and i’ve never written a joke before :) FUCK YEAH WE ARE BACK BABY!
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HOLLYWOOD I beg you to make action packed getaway car scenes with tight three point turns and apologetic waving!
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when i see a hot guy i’ve started asking myself if i would still be attracted to him if he wasn’t wearing a Patagonia shirt and honestly it’s been life changing
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This still doesn’t feel real but it’s so soon! UK friends let’s gooooo!
We're stoked to see our 2022 Festival Best Newcomer
@FrankieMcnair
ready to live their best life in London at
@sohotheatre
this January 👏
For our UK friends, you can get tickets to see Frankie's award winning show, Relax Your Knees, at
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my fear isnt someone hacking into my camera roll and blackmailing me with my nudes its someone blackmailing me with the self tapes i never booked. me standing in the middle of my kitchen giving it my everything as i pretend to be puffed hiking is for me and my god only
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We are the daughters of the mums who worked in the canteen.
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a cafe has the ability to make your entire day through the simple act of putting a tiny biccy on the side of your coffee. that power. the refusal to use it. breathtaking.
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discovered that i have grown into one of the old women who gets butt naked in a public change room. No hunching under a towel for me. Unafraid. Just both cheeks out, tits hanging in the breeze. i thought i feared these women as a child…now i realise i revered them
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imagine fucking up drinking so bad three years ago that now its a friday night in lockdown and being sad/sober still feels like a better option then getting tits up hammered...hooly dooly egg on my face.
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Me, anxious puddle: i am so sorry Centrelink lady i forgot to declare some income. i don’t want to go to jail but i think i have accidentally ✨committed fraud✨🥺
Centrelink lady looking at how much i’ve been earning: omg hahahahahahaha…hahaha…*wipes tears from eyes* barely
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calling in sick to work every day for the next three years bc im growing my hair out from a pixi cut and if you know you know. thoughts and prayers 🤞
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me: *throws arms up in air* Gay Jesus take the wheel!
Gay Jesus: ooooh is it a manual? 😬
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gonna make a coffee table book filled with screenshots of men’s hot takes that all female comedians joke about is sex but it’s gonna be so big that it actually doubles as the coffee table. Sorry you can’t relate to gettin laid fellas 🙏
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Im dyslexic and have a crush on a someone who owns a local book store. My love life is the premise for a low budget straight to VHS 90s romcom that isn’t very good.
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it is my birthday and everyone at work has been calling me “birthday girl” and i really hope this nickname sticks
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Gonna maintain eye contact while getting my covid test so they know I’m into it
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hunching naked over the Red Cross snacks table while double fisting juice boxes, wrist deep in tiny cheese crackers, foaming at the mouth and screaming “I am a god!” after giving blood is actually allowed if your O-Negative ♥️
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Rescheduling my psych appointment because I’m having a high self esteem day and wanna wait until I'm distraught enough to get my money’s worth 🤑
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i mentioned this to a friend who thought it was weird and I’ve honest to god never questioned it until today…but did anyone else’s mum take them to play in the cardboard recycling centre cages on special occasions? Or am I realising that I might have grown up kinda poor?
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give it up for all the untoned size 10s with big boobs, small butts and swimming shoulders! we do not know where we belong in the world but we sure can help you move a fridge
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every day that i am not cast as “queer love interest who only wears singlets, well fitting dress pants and a chain as gold as their heart” is a crime
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once again coronavirus has put me inside for two weeks and honestly its pathetic. boring. very 2020. embarrassed for her. shes wearing jeans and a nice top thinking shes an icon. grow up babe. actually tragic
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it is my personal opinion that dennis the menace is a non-binary icon
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