Father Ted Quote of the Day
@FrTedQOTD
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That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.
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Dougal: "Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?"
Ted: "No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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RIP to the wonderful Rynagh O'Grady, who played the feisty Mary O'Leary in Father Ted. So many hilarious scenes.
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Today would have been Dermot Morgan's 70th birthday. We remember him every day, but particularly today. The laughs will always live on.
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25 years today since we lost Dermot Morgan, and 7 years today since Frank Kelly passed away. Two of the all-time greats.
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Dougal: "Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?"
Ted: "No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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RIP Pat Laffan, famous for his roles as Pat Mustard and Georgie Burgess.
Pat Mustard was undoubtedly one of the best characters in Father Ted, and his comedy will live on for a long, long time.
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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As is now tradition, we like to use our platform here to think of those less fortunate. Close to 5 million people across the UK and Ireland are currently preparing to watch Mrs. Brown's Boys. We pray that they might see the light, the feckin' eejits.
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"I am Chinese, if you please...c'mon, Dougal, lighten up!"
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“Did you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?"
“No... he was on trial, in Liverpool."
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Three years today since the passing of Frank Kelly, and twenty-one years today since Dermot Morgan left us. Always fondly remembered in Ireland and further afield.
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"Who's doing the disco?"
"Father Billy O'Dwyer."
"The Spinmaster! Great!"
PORTUGAL
1 million young Catholics brought an end for their all night World Youth Day vigil at 7am this morning, with the sound of Padre Guilherme, the Portugese DJ priest
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"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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"The farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup of tea. I might not be able to devote myself full time to the ol' racism."
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“Well, there he is, Ted. Father Romeo Sensini. 17 caps for the Vatican over 75s. Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
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“I wish I wasn’t a priest.”
“Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.”
“Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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"God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying Our Lord is going to come back and judge us all."
"No... No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about."
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“I wish I wasn’t a priest.”
“Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.”
“Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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"YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL?!?!?!”
Hearse bursts into flames on way to funeral - but coffin pulled out just in time
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“Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair.”
Meet 73-year-old Israeli goalkeeper Isaak Hayik, the oldest player to play a professional football match 👏
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"Brilliant Ted! How did you know?"
"Don't think I didn't notice those little hints you left lying around the place"
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"July the 19th. What's so special about July the 19th?"
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"Look at him there. Dreaming of past glories, no doubt."
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"Ha, those Protestants, up to no good as usual."
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Remember these two legends of comedy, on the anniversary of their deaths. Still making us laugh, all these years later.
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"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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With
#RIPTwitter
trending and the future of the platform looking uncertain, we want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your brilliant engagement over the last 10 years. It may not be the end, but if it is...
"I've had my fun, and that's all that matters."
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‼️ Public Service Announcement ‼️
🧑🎄Your annual Christmas Eve viewing of Father Ted has been confirmed.
🇮🇪 RTÉ2 - Christmas Special @ 9pm
🇬🇧 More4 - Father Ted marathon from 8pm to 1.25am, including the Christmas Special @ 9pm
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"Oh yeah, Lent. What are you giving up? Being the biggest eejit in the priesthood?"
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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"We might see you your friend."
"Who's that, Sophia Loren?!"
"No Father, the Pope."
"He's no friend of mine!"
#PopeInIreland
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"God Ted, it's no use. I'm just so excited about Christmas I can't sleep."
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“Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
A Walsall pensioner celebrated his 90th birthday by playing a game of walking football.
Mike Fisher still plays three times a week – as well as a weekly game of indoor cricket.
He celebrated his birthday with his team mates at Sneyd Community Association in Bloxwich.
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"The money was just resting in my account."
Captain Sir Tom Moore's daughter has admitted keeping £800,000 from the three books he wrote before he died - despite the prologue of one of them saying the money would go to the charity in his name 👇
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"So, in no more than 200 words, why you should get a parachute."
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"Sensini's got an open goal. If we don't do something now, he's going to score within a matter of minutes."
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"OH TED, LOOK! IT'S A BIG BUNCH OF BOXES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!"
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"Dougal, have you been drinking?"
"I have, Ted. I've been drinking like a mad eejit."
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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30 years ago today Riverdance debuted at the interval of the Eurovision Song Contest, Point Theatre, Dublin. From that 7min version, a phenomenally successful stage show was developed & performed around the world. We are so proud to be part of it
✨Happy Birthday
@Riverdance
✨
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"Say if there are 200 million priests in the world and five percent are paedophiles. That's still only 10 million."
Anti-Catholics: All Catholic priests are child abusers
Facts: From 1950 to today only around 5% of priests have actually been accused of abuse. This includes false accusations.
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“The farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup of tea. I mightn’t be able to devote myself full time to the ol’ racism.”
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"I'll give you a clue... You live there..."
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The Chinese Premier has arrived in Ireland for a short visit to the country
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"It is a Cuban fertility symbol, I hope it brings you as much luck as it brought me."
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“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences.
Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist."
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“I wish I wasn’t a priest.”
“Dougal, if Father Jack heard you say that.”
“Sure he told me one time that he doesn’t even believe in God."
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Hard to believe that it’s the 20th anniversary of Dermot Morgan’s passing. Thanks for the memories, Father 🙏🏼
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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"July the 19th. What's so special about July the 19th?"
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"They were simply pawns...the real villain in this piece has yet to be revealed...FARGO BOYLE!!!"
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"Dougal, have you been drinking?"
"I have, Ted. I've been drinking like a mad eejit."
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"Milk gets sour you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that...because it's shite."
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Fr. Andy Riley,
Fr. Desmond Coyle,
Fr. George Byrne,
Fr. David Nicholson,
Fr. Declan Lynch,
Fr. Ken Sweeney,
Fr. Neil Hannon,
Fr. Keith Cullen,
Fr. Ciaran Donnelly,
Fr. Mick McEvoy,
Fr. Jack White,
Fr. Henry Bigbigging,
Fr. Hank Tree,
Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
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"You don't have anything from the Allied side?"
"No, no. That sort of thing wouldn't interest me at all."
A silver-plated pencil that once belonged to Adolf Hitler will go under the hammer at Bloomfield Auctions in east Belfast next week
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Fr. Andy Riley,
Fr. Desmond Coyle,
Fr. George Byrne,
Fr. David Nicholson,
Fr. Declan Lynch,
Fr. Ken Sweeney,
Fr. Neil Hannon,
Fr. Keith Cullen,
Fr. Ciaran Donnelly,
Fr. Mick McEvoy,
Fr. Jack White,
Fr. Henry Bigbigging,
Fr. Hank Tree,
Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
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“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences.
“Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist."
When I was 15, my horse Cinnamon died, and I wrote this. My mother has kept it all these years.
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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RIP to the wonderful Fergus O'Kelly, who played the always laughing Fr. Barty Dunne in Father Ted.
"The old eh eh"
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"Milk gets sour you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that...because it's shite."
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“All the young priests are wearing them, Father Damo has one.”
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"I hope you don't get into any mischief."
"Oh you know us, Father."
"I do...and that's the trouble!"
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“Well, there he is, Ted. Father Romeo Sensini. 17 caps for the Vatican over 75s. Looks after himself, drinks only very, very fine wine. Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted, needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair. You haven’t a chance.”
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“Just play the f***ing note."
“The first one?"
“NO! NOT THE F***ING FIRST ONE!"
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"Ah God, Ted, I'm so happy. The sun is out and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this."
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"I'd say, Father, that you might be the second best priest in the country...the second best priest..."
Erik ten Hag has described Andre Onana as the "second best" goalkeeper in the Premier League.
#BBCFootball
#MUFC
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“The level of commitment amongst the African church in bringing the faith to the people is just wonderful...it’s marvellous, isn’t it?”
“Sure I wouldn't know, I'm from Donegal.”
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"OH TED, LOOK! IT'S A BIG BUNCH OF BOXES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!"
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"Wait a second! Those are fake hands!"
BREAKING: The AP (Associated Press) says the photo of Princess of Wales and her three children shows an inconsistency in the alignment of Princess Charlotte's left hand
Full story ➡️
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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Greetings of the season to one and all. It is at this time of the year that we reflect upon all that is good in the world and ignore the evil that persists. For that reason, we won't be watching Mrs. Brown's Boys this evening, or any other evening. Happy Christmas!
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"Oh worse than Hitler, you wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning."
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