Betty Botticelli
@Faungirl123
Followers
56,640
Following
5,261
Media
8,219
Statuses
81,043
lost in the woods, probably gonna die. I take pictures of stuff and things 📸. Other account @BettyBully12
in the trees
Joined May 2015
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There's nothing more embarrassing in life than getting up and bowling in front of people.
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Me: *just died* I can finally rest without my kids waking me up for dumb shit
Son using Ouija board: HEY MA
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One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan
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Considering buying yet another pair of jeans. Then I'll have two pairs of jeans.
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I'm not buying it that each village only had one idiot
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I come out in full lingerie walking like Stone Cold Steve Austin
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Don't get me wrong, I love nature but camping can go fuck itself.
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Let a titty out. He can't say no if there's a titty out.
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Him: why do my socks keep disappearing?
Me: *nervously* uuuhh idk babe
*Cuts to all the neighborhood squirrels with new sleeping bags*
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I never wear hats. EVER. But I bought a hat for the gym. That's how serious I am. Things get serious when I buy hats.
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Living under a rock doesn't sound so bad right about now.
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You're about to die, bitch.
*me buying a house plant*
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Jesus: *picks up bread* this is my body
Jesus: *picks up wine* this is my blood
Jesus:* opens fridge* this is my leftover chinese. Now I've labeled it this time so there's no "confusion". Peter, I'm looking at you
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Quick question. If you see a short person struggling to get something off of a high shelf, do you stop to help? Or are you going to hell?
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Wanna go ride our bikes till the street lights come on?
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One reason The Cure is my favorite band is because you can do anything to their music. You can sing to it, you can fuck to it, you can bludgeon someone to it, you can cry to it, you can hide a body to it, you can dance and celebrate to it. It's really great.
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Your parents actually could afford the name brand cereal, they just didn't love you.
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Pic of me before going to a Xmas party a couple of years ago. Last time I wore a dress. Doesn't happen often
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Oh you have tits? Big deal, so do I. So does my dad, who cares.
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If he loves you, he'll accept the fact that you're a serial killer. If he doesn't accept it, fuck him. You don't got time for that shit, you got people to kill.
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Look at me getting my hopes up like a little idiot. How precious.
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I just squeezed mustard water all over my sandwich. FUCK THIS WHOLE DAY.
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Getting older means that everything is too loud and also not loud enough
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Is a frozen burrito in a sock an acceptable weapon for a street fight? Because that's all I have on me.
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Cold weather is coming. Get yourself a hot coffee, a fuzzy sweater and a chubby girl.
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A lot of shit goin on in my life right now and I really think I deserve a donut or two. Or 6 idk 🍩
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A bush in the hand is worth two birds in the butthole or whatever
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Had to cut six inches of damage off my hair but fresh color makes it worthwhile 💙
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Oh you think its unattractive when women cuss? Well goddamn I got some shitty fuckin news for u dickface.
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Hey, I'm starting a cult. We don't really do anything but that's kinda the idea
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So hey, I've hit 20k! Thx for taking this trip into lunacy with me! 💙
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Wouldn't it be great if boobs honked when you squeezed em?
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I'm gonna be 40 tomorrow and I've never been drunk. Maybe tomorrow is the day
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My hair the other day before I got it cut and colored it 😬😬😬 was not giving a fuck that day 😂
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Me 5 or 6 yrs ago when I was tan and blonde and me now😮😊
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K so I finished my hair 😊It's a little lighter I swear lol
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