Evan Thomas Profile Banner
Evan Thomas Profile
Evan Thomas

@EvanDerekThomas

Followers
6,340
Following
964
Media
3,607
Statuses
42,727

But daddy I love him/them

NYC
Joined December 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Get your fucking ass up and give ‘em the old razzle dazzle. It seems like no one wants to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle anymore.
63
6K
38K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 months
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
188
29K
229K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 years
Today I learned: There's literally a self-made billionaire in Kylie Jenner's own industry who was raised by a single mother and worked 2 jobs to pay bills and Forbes still put Kylie on their cover
601
82K
210K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 months
This is how your email finds me
Tweet media one
29
6K
53K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
7 months
my parents at 32: our baby needs milk me at 32: i need the lemonade that kills you
20
4K
47K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
7 months
The senate counting votes:
Tweet media one
64
2K
28K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
8 years
CNN questioning if a recount respects democracy. Next up: Does proofreading respect English? Does double-checking your work respect math?
275
6K
10K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Totally out of serotonin due to supply chain issues
7
1K
6K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Warren eyeing Buttigieg on the debate stage
@wattpadcomment
Wattpad Comments
5 years
i want that twink Obliterated
168
18K
37K
8
819
5K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Me as a guest: omg don’t even lift a finger. your place is perfect as is. love u king :) Me hosting: if anyone sees a single speck of dust I am a complete failure
12
470
6K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 days
Yeah I’m part of the LGBTQ community Let’s Get Biden To Quit
8
450
5K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 months
This is literally Carey’s boyfriend in The Other Two
TIMOTHÉE AS BOB DYLAN ERAAAA
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
96
371
5K
6
169
4K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
8 months
Tweet media one
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
8 months
First look at Prince Harry and William in the final episodes of ‘THE CROWN’.
Tweet media one
51
85
2K
21
259
4K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
The movie villain The real villain
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
295
393
3K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 months
Why do they always bring the same energy as the twins from The Shining
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
16
101
3K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
Tell the boat in Puerto Vallarta it was me
Tweet media one
10
234
3K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
1 year
What movie is he watching?
Tweet media one
935
181
6K
18
328
3K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
I don’t understand how a piece of pollen sends my body into a downward spiral but this woman on My Strange Addiction has eaten 200 sticks of deodorant and is still going about her day.
5
395
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Tweet media one
21
281
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Idk what you’re talking about, Ariana DeBose killed it here
12
187
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
11 months
Me: “Wanna have a lowkey game night?” Me 2 hours later:
Tweet media one
11
168
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Every online shop is like "model is 6'2, weighs 180 lbs of pure muscle, has great credit, flosses every night, parents are super proud of him, and he's wearing a medium"
10
102
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Got a haircut and a facial (spa) to ring in 31
Tweet media one
51
23
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
97% of people won’t post this image of our Lord and savior on their timeline. Will you be one of the 3% true believers?
Tweet media one
13
419
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Surf n terf
@DailyLoud
Daily Loud
1 year
Surfer Bethany Hamilton says she won't compete against transgender women.
Tweet media one
1K
1K
28K
7
65
2K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
11 months
Open couple (both hot)
Tweet media one
0
237
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
This looks like a fake show from The Other Two
Tweet media one
5
57
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
Nobody: The mail-in ballots:
2
237
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Do you think the Brandt Boys have ever tried to unionize?
8
118
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
I don’t think my state, the inventor of the Post-It Note, would be too pleased to hear about this
Tweet media one
10
127
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
* **** ** ****
13
129
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
Me: Oh my God, I’m so bored, I’d talk to a potato Person: Hey! Me: Jesus Christ I do not have the mental energy for this right now
6
115
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
STOP. Is your child texting about Padam Padam? Here’s what to look out for: ASAP: A Song About Padam IDK: I’m Dancing to Kylie DM: Dannii Minogue WAP: Wild About Padam KMS: Kylie Minogue Song FWB: Fuck, Where’s the Bridge?
8
176
1K
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
the dance of freedom. the death bells. the rising of the joker. one of the most magnificent, sublime, monumental, extraordinary scenes in cinema history
6
180
983
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 years
@AlexisOniEseleh Putting influencer on my LinkedIn stat
4
7
864
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
There should be a Grammy category this year for best pop song from a fictional artist
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
8
158
876
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
How much did Coco Montrese pay in bribes to get her daughter on Drag Race?
14
84
890
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
. @TwitterSupport knows Libs of TikTok regularly violates the rules but continue allowing them on their platform
Tweet media one
19
136
865
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
The Kacey Musgraves concert? Oh you mean Horse Girl Disco? Yeah I’m going
0
48
846
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Taylor Swift and Lorde should do a collab and call it Lorde & Taylor
4
40
831
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
She is meshy, but she’s kind
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
15
16
755
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Tweet media one
4
48
794
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
As a gay man, I’ve seen a lot of cavities. That’s why this Pride I’ve partnered with Quip.
Tweet media one
16
24
765
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Starting my master’s program at Columbia today
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
18
2
717
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
This is getting out of hand
Tweet media one
8
199
728
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
I just know Ramona went snooping through those boxes at some point
Tweet media one
3
33
717
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 years
Remember before children in cages and affair hush money when everyone thought @kathygriffin went too far with a photo lol
8
79
610
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
me at the eagle: “hey do you guys have a student discount?”
8
18
626
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
13 days
Unfortunately, I do need one more toxic situationship before the downfall of our democracy
0
61
614
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 months
Fellow Travelers is so depressing. No one should have to live in DC.
0
46
599
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Got a text reminder about another pride party this week
1
29
582
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Pits on main
Tweet media one
11
14
547
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Sure sex is great but have you ever gotten the scissors to glide on wrapping paper
11
32
558
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 months
Tweet media one
4
30
540
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 months
Tony Hale getting that’s script:
0
26
528
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
George Santos won’t see your mean tweets, but your friends who have committed wire fraud, money laundering, theft of public funds, and making materially false statements will.
2
61
499
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Got my first piercing today and had to look brave about it so I didn’t scare the 6 year old who was up next
Tweet media one
10
2
450
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
At a Taylor Swift drag brunch and the queen just death dropped to Betty
Tweet media one
0
7
456
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Me every Saturday at kickball
9
24
429
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Thirst traps in your parents’ bathrooms are so overdone. Show me the cremation box of your childhood pet this Thanksgiving.
15
23
420
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Kahmora was on THIS season of drag race?
Tweet media one
3
5
425
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
A Stark Is Born (2019)
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
3
89
406
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
8 months
Being a Big Brother fan
1
53
403
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Looked up my old NYC apartments on StreetEasy and found out someone's been using the bedroom I had for 5+ years as their walk-in closet
Tweet media one
5
4
387
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Tweet media one
3
40
384
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 months
Tweet media one
4
7
379
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
9 months
Having a thought I could only share in Circles
@goldisacks
GG
9 months
wait
Tweet media one
9
10
499
3
7
362
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
A lot of you need to learn how to buy concert tickets in silence
9
20
354
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
8 months
“Sorry I’m late to the zoom, I needed to listen to julianna margulies absolutely tank her career with the gays”
4
34
341
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Kinda killed it in this goodnight text pic ngl
Tweet media one
9
2
323
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
9 years
Ah yes, my favorite electronic: Flintstones vitamins #PrimeDay http://t.co/zElkUXy167
Tweet media one
9
190
309
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
6 years
Someone responded to me shirtless today with “mangy but in a good way” and that’s the energy I’m taking into 2019
2
12
301
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Taylor Swift on 1989:
@AndrewYang
Andrew Yang🧢⬆️🇺🇸
3 years
Haha I love New York 😀
349
283
4K
0
21
312
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Imagine thinking it’s normal to sell your plasma but not for corporations to pay workers
Tweet media one
8
67
312
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
This exchange was a little weird
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
2
22
305
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
My 4 favorite characters on #WhiteLotus
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
1
22
304
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 months
Hate when people on the apps ask what brings you here. What brings a duck to water?
18
8
302
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Taking a break from being annoying about TSwift to be annoying and share that I’m starting grad school in 2022 🥳👨🏻‍🎓 Excited for what’s to come
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
11
0
294
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
It’s their time
Tweet media one
@PageSix
Page Six
3 years
'SNL' producers 'scrambling' to replace Ed Sheeran amid COVID-19 diagnosis
Tweet media one
948
171
2K
2
24
300
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
2
21
283
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
7 months
Tweet media one
@JoyceCarolOates
Joyce Carol Oates
7 months
two members of (my late husband) Charlie's remarkable family. awesome bodybuilder & her son, Harvard grad (arts).
Tweet media one
58
68
2K
0
7
284
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Tweet media one
@realbbymula
MULA🍒
2 years
No catfish alert : drop your most recent selfie you got in your phone 🫣❤️
1K
78
766
12
3
255
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
Wedding photos drop
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
10
4
246
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
11 months
Tweet media one
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
11 months
Following a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court will allow the Biden Administration to regulate “ghost guns,” firearm-making kits available online that people can assemble at home. 🔗:
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
172
329
9K
0
22
255
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Person yelling over the music at an orgy: "IT'S PRONOUNCED BOOT-EDGE-EDGE"
2
18
248
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 months
Jon Lovett?!
0
7
248
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 months
This is what being on Hinge in your 30s feels like
@AMAZlNGNATURE
Nature is Amazing ☘️
2 months
392 year old Greenland Shark in the Arctic Ocean, wandering the ocean since 1627 🤯
1K
6K
81K
1
8
241
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Orpheus right before making it to the land of the living:
6
30
236
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
I got this for Halloween but I might just start wearing it for fun
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
10
0
224
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
10 months
2 adults trying to make plans to hang out
@beyoncegarden
𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚
1 year
name something harder than this😭
2K
596
7K
2
13
232
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Gus: “this is a drag Queen” Colton: “gross 😡” Gus: “no we like them” Colton: “gross 🙂”
0
6
231
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
3 years
Showing up to work at 12:30pm on your last day is the most relatable thing he's done
1
16
227
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
4 years
The caucus just reminded me that Martin O’Malley’s son and I are tethered
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
1
1
224
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
Trump getting indicted for the same crime he and the New York Times falsely berated Hillary about is
Tweet media one
1
20
226
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
9 months
My friends are having a botox pregame before Jessie Ware. She’s never beating the elder millennial fanbase allegations.
9
1
222
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 months
2021 -> Today. Keeping the student discounts for as long as I can.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
17
1
211
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
1 year
It is not a gay function until someone starts playing clips of Kennedy Center Honors performances
4
7
205
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
5 years
Me logging into Apple Music every December
Tweet media one
2
12
204
@EvanDerekThomas
Evan Thomas
2 years
I can relate to the monkeypox vaccine rollout because I’ll also tell you I want to hangout sometime and then get overwhelmed when you try to pick a date and time
0
16
200