hypertension builds character
@ElDuderino40
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give my stomach to milwaukee if they run out of beer
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Pinned Tweet
simple as 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
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i fuckin lose it every time i see this pic lmao
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coworkers love every new tv show that comes out
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sorry i’m late i had to have diarrhea five times
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Mr Gingrich sir you are the Barstool Sports Pimp of da Week
Newt Gingrich made his wife who is limping and has a leg injury and a boot on her leg get his coffee this morning and deliver it to his driver side window.
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sir she sent another picture of her dog and we’re out of canned responses
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very smart. if he said guilty they would’ve had a slam dunk case against him. props to his legal team
Donald Trump faces 34 felony counts that carry a 136 year max sentence. He pleads not guilty to all counts.
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my ear has been bothering me lately. gonna keep putting my airpods in there for ten hours a day and see if that helps
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@chiweethedog
i was really high in cvs when this happened so i can understand how he got spooked
just bumped into this guy at cvs and said “excuse me sir”
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The worst part about a comedian dying is the usually-crass white boy comics doing their tender posts
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me performing a flawless takedown maneuver on my dog when he’s running through the house with my shoe
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never sure how to comfort a male friend who gets dumped. she was better than you? you are right to be sad? what are we doing here
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@most_opppressed
kamala harris is the perfect candidate sarah i would like three please i am dming you my address now
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it is illegal to compliment women in Biden’s America
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the lotr scene where gandalf summons shadowfax but instead of a horse it’s my 2003 ford explorer sport trac
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lmfao chappelle is washed
Feel like the gravity he tries to give this has to be seen to be believed.
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football weebs are worse than anime weebs because they haven’t been bullied
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he should get excited about clipping his damn fingernails
Parker, when I read him the headline that Pfizer’s early results of their trials are showing that COVID vaccines are safe & effective for 5-11 year olds!!!!!
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Elon Musk looked disgusting--man boobs protruding--in his green shirt before Qatar. Very very disrespectful.
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just in time for the summer
JUST IN: Dr. Anthony Fauci tells our
@JudyWoodruff
the U.S. is "out of the pandemic phase."
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MLK Jr. said: “I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice, and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress." This is a subtweet.
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Understand. Learn.
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gf: don’t get too drunk tonight we have plans tomorrow
me and the lads at 5am in a randomers kitchen:
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if i was in war i would just not go to the mall for awhile
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that’s a mcdouble. one of their finest sandwiches, both in taste and in value. hope this helps
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rip bb gurl there will never be another freaky mama like you 😩🥵😛💦💦💦
BREAKING: Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a trailblazer in U.S. politics and the longest-serving woman in the Senate, has died at 90.
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if i saw this guy at a party i would immediately enter a self defense scenario in order to protect myself and my fellow party goers
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point me to these trolls m’lady, they shall taste my nippon steel…
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It’s the noble Italian Catholics vs the pervert English Protestants in the final. May the Lord rain hellfire upon the followers of the traitor King James and sink the godless island back into the bowels of the sea, if it be His will. Amen 🇮🇹🤝🇺🇸🤝🇻🇦
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@RacismFactory
BREAKING: New security footage shows the suspected NYC subway shooter fleeing the scene
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me when the missus sees my mcdonalds bag from lunch even though she went grocery shopping yesterday
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just bumped into this guy at cvs and said “excuse me sir”
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ok now i’m thinking it’s just racist lol
we have a weird coffee machine in the office. can’t tell if the first one is racist or not but the second one is just perverse. the coffee is good though
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I've been looking into them. Heard some disturbing things. We know they're a danger to us. And we know they're good at what they do.
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i would happily pay $100 for a hot and nutritious meal from McDonald’s
$18 for a hamburger, fries and a coke. Inflation is destroying the American standard of living.
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watching The Naked Gun. insane how many jokes per minute are in this movie. so god damn good
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i like those soft sugar cookies
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the appeal is bussin a nut. hope this helps
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old coworkers dropping some real knowledge on ig today 👆👆👆💯💯
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@jakebrodes
It’s so fucked up cause every shitty retail or restaurant job I’ve had involved multiple interviews but the only office job I had to “interview” for involved just going down to DC and having lunch with them
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sydney sweeney and megan thee stallion and also they kiss in every episode
If were in charge of choosing the next pair of detectives for TRUE DETECTIVE S4: who would you like to see?
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i feel like they shouldn’t measure cheese in units of distance
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who the fuck is asking for these kinds of movies and why are there so many popping up all of a sudden
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i’ve never wanted to die more than i do in this moment
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fokes we like to have a lot of laffs on here,
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been awhile since I’ve seen a good dudes rock post
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this mf said big mac lord take me now
Can't stop thinking of the time Nick Fuentes thought his Big Mac was defective because he flipped it upside down & was angry enough to tweet about it.
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he might genuinely be the stupidest person i’ve ever seen
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