Eddy Elfenbein
@EddyElfenbein
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Nothing gets people angry quite like good economic news.
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Clorox has a fascinating business model. They make Clorox. Then they sell it for more than it cost them to make. After that, they make more Clorox.
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To the guy who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now.
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Last year, Walmart made $15.51 billion on sales of $648.13 billion. That's a profit margin of 2.4%. I'm not sure that's price gouging.
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500 years ago tomorrow -- the Original Pinned Tweet.
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A great way to make passive income is to take $3 million and buy an 8% Treasury bond. You'll make $20,000 a month just by doing nothing.
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My daughter just asked me, “Daddy, the stock market looks so scary. I’m afraid.”. I didn’t know what to say. I finally said, “You’re 27. Stop talking like that.”.
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Apple has a cash balance of $261.5 billion. That's enough to buy every single team in the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB.
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He's named Nate Silver because all his picks come in second place.
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Tom Brady has thrown 11.7% of all TD passes ever thrown in a Super Bowl.
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Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow which is *checks notes* Friday, the 13th.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Tesla in 2012, by my calculations, today you'd be an annoying prick.
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I ran the calculations and found that if you had put $50,000 into bitcoin a year ago, today you'd be an annoying prick.
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One of my goals this year is to be less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people.).
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Shares of $ZOOM are up 50% today because video conferencing is expected to benefit from the coronavirus. One small problem. It's wrong company. Zoom is $ZM. $ZOOM has been out of business for years. Score one for efficient markets!. cc @asymmetricinfo.
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In 2011 there were 115 billionaires in China. Since then, 72 have died, with 15 murders, 17 suicides, 7 accidental deaths, and 19 from illness. Another 14 were executed. (via @bespokeinvest).
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I bet the Starbucks at the Cape of Good Hope is doing killer business right now.
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Socialism is so bad that Trump's wives chose him over it. Think about that.
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"You got it all wrong, Joe. You're money isn't here right now. It's in Franks bullshit startup, and 100 other completely worthless ideas."
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If you're curious, here are the NYSE Circuit Breakers:. -7%: shut trading for 15 mins. -13%: shut trading for 15 mins. -20%: close exchange.
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Biden won Stafford by 3. Youngkin is up by 20 with 92% in.
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Last year, my lemonade stand had $90 in sales and expenses of $130, so we lost $40. I'm willing to sell you the entire business for $1,000. That's roughly Lyft.
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I ran the numbers and got a startling result. If you had invested $10,000 in Bitcoin in 2012, then you would have died in a coke binge in South Beach sometime in 2022. Check my math and tell me I'm wrong.
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When you analyze an investment, bear in mind that the single-best-performing stock of the last 20 years is Monster Energy Drink. A product specifically designed and marketed for abject morons. Remember that.
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Microsoft has a cash balance of $130 billion. That's enough to give $1 to 130 billion people.
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I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of the 20s so far.
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Clorox has a fascinating business model. They make Clorox and they sell it for more than it costs to make. Then they do it again. Up 48 fold in 30 years.
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For the Dow, today is the sixth-worst point drop of all time. All five of the others came last year.
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$FB, a free online birthday reminder service, faces a difficult opening.
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The worst-performing S&P 500 stock YTD. Twitter -15%.
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Nvidia’s net income rose 769%. To put that in perspective, that's nearly 770%.
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The Fed is pouring gasoline into a car that doesn't have wheels.
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If you're curious, here are the NYSE Circuit Breakers:. -7%: shut trading for 15 mins. -13%: shut trading for 15 mins. -20%: close exchange.
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If you want to be a millionaire, this is how much money you'll need.
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GameStop is up 20% after hours on news of a stock split. I'm now going to light myself on fire.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Apple on June 6, 1983, by April 17, 2003, you'd be sitting on $8,400.
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If you had invested $10,000 in the S&P 500 at the start of this year, today you'd have $10,005.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Apple on June 6, 1983, by April 17, 2003, you'd be sitting on $8,400.
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RIP: Bull Market (3/9/2009 to 9/21/2018). QE birthed you. Low rates nurtured you. and buy backs made you run. So long, old friend.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Apple ($AAPL) on June 6, 1983, by April 17, 2003, you’d be sitting on $8,400.
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An angry mob of momentum investors pulled down a statue of Benjamin Graham. This madness has to stop.
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The sexual tension between these two is off the charts.
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"We continue to view a Second Civil War as a near-term obstacle for equities, but we're raising our year-end target for the S&P 500 to 6,000.".
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If you have a $1 million portfolio, at the current rate, inflation is eating $68,000 per year.
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13 hours in, so far this is NOTHING like Blade Runner.
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Chesapeake Energy has gone from $15 to $77 to $16. This week.
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"In summary, a stock is worth the net present value of all future cash flows. Any questions?"
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I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. The vaccine was created in Russia. I got my first shot, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s safe, with иo side effectsr, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
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Apple now has $193.82 billion cash on hand. Or about $25 per person on the planet.
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A bubble is a bull market in which you don't have a position. $$.
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S&P 500 annualized price return by unemployment rate since 1948:.Under 4%: +4.71%.4% to 6%: +7.83%.6% to 8%: +18.09%.Over 8%: +22.17%.
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If a stock goes down 20%, then goes up 20%, it's still down 4%. So who got the 4%?. Answer = Goldman Sachs.
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Financial advice: Always keep about $10 million to $15 million on hand just in case shit gets real. Follow me for more money tips like this.
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I've never changed my opinion by so much than I have with Zelensky. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.
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Given that today is Tax Day, I'd like to thank the top 1% for paying 40% of income taxes.
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The S&P 500 has now gained back 44% of what it lost.
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Days with 2% drops.2004: 0.2005: 0.2006: 0.2007: 11.2008: 41.2009: 28.2010: 10.2011: 21.2012: 3.2013: 2.2014: 4.2015: 6.2016: 5.2017: 0.2018: 15.2019: 5.2020: 24 (so far).
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Days with 2% drops.2004: 0.2005: 0.2006: 0.2007: 11.2008: 41.2009: 28.2010: 10.2011: 21.2012: 3.2013: 2.2014: 4.2015: 6.2016: 5.2017: 0.2018: 11 (so far).
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My brother is in Munich. He was helped to safety by a young Syrian immigrant. The young man's family called from Aleppo to see if he was OK.
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I'm very lucky in that all the Chinese balloon experts in my feed are also bank capital experts.
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shut off my computer.sell my possessions.change my name.plastic surgery.move to alaska.live off the grid.completely alone.miles from anyone.knock at the door.it's a caribou .he speaks."Here's the thing about share buybacks. ".
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If you excuse me, I'm going to light myself on fire.
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Fact: If an investor had put $10,000 into bitcoin in May 2011, they would have died in a coke binge in Florida sometime last year.
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I don't understand how J Crew could have gone under.
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How much would you pay for a lemonade stand that lost $20 last year on sales of $70; this year it will lose another $20 on sales of $170?. If you said $10,000, congratulations, you own BYND.
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Coca-Cola earned 55 cents per share. Expectations were for.
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The unemployment rate is lower today than it was during *every month* in the 1970s, 80s and 90s.
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Amazon reported earnings of a "fuckload". Expectations were for a shit ton.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Apple $AAPL on June 6, 1983, by April 17, 2003, you’d be sitting on $8,400.
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My firm uses a model to forecast interest rates. She's awful.
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You'll probably never see a week like this for the stock market in your lifetime.
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Blackberry +27%.Gamestop +40%.AMC +24%.Bes Bath & Beyond +29%.
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Apple now has $207.06 billion in cash. To put that in context, that's TWO FUCKING HUNDRED AND FUCKING SEVEN FUCKING BILLION MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS JFC!!!.
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No. Next question.
Martin Shkreli seeks compassionate release from prison to work on coronavirus treatment
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If you had invested $10,000 in Apple on June 6, 1983, by April 17, 2003, you'd be sitting on $8,400.
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The Fed is pouring gasoline into a car that doesn't have wheels.
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The federal budget deficit for June was $864 billion. The deficit for last June was $8 billion.
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If you had invested $10,000 in Tesla in 2012, by my calculations, today you'd be an annoying prick.
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This is what $1 billion in gold looks like. (via reddit)
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I just ordered takeout. I had to fill out a 13-page questionnaire detailing my political beliefs. Separation of powers cost me an egg roll.
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We're already in a recession.
U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin says he doesn't expect the coronavirus pandemic to tip the economy into recession
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Elon Musk is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.
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To be the same age as Jefferson in 1776, a person today would have been born in 1988.
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If a stock goes down 20%, the goes up 20%, it's still down 4%. So where did the 4% go?. Answer: Vanguard and BlackRock.
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Sure, I may be $238,000 in debt from college but I think my degree in Marxist interpretive dance makes me a valuable member of the economy.
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Since April 1997, Monster Beverage has returned 520,000%. If you had invested $10,000 in MNST, that means your wife will be born in Estonia three years from now.
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“You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.” ― Warren Buffett.
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Musk acts like the environmental impact of crypto was discovered in the past 48 hours.
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Remember, the most a stock can fall is about 40%. Maybe 50%. After that, it pretty much has to go up. #study.
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