Ed Swayze
@EdFawkinSwayze
Followers
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Following
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Statuses
242
Redshirt Rotter, Major League Mario Super Sluggers Player, Bowl Indulger, Drunk UFC Enthusiast, War Damn.
Auburn, AL
Joined August 2023
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Had plans to take a woman on a date. Unfortunately received an amber alert that we have an unlimited bar tab tonight. Instant fade.
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Bacon & cheese quesadillas with hot sauce, blow pow for bev. Great day to be alive.
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New apartment fully furnished now. Purchased some new items
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Lurking at the bar alone waiting for the fellas to pop out. Bet is not hitting either. Great day to be alive tho.
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Fuckin queer
Yeah this is gay but oh did we have a good convo
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Sylly week got me in my worldoftshirts bag. Another night out but another great day to be alive. Cheers lads.
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Did well on test this morning. Bowl gear is on. Time to have a great start to the weekend (fuck Payton Thorne)
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Had 4 tests in 10 days. Another one next week. Time to get peppered and watch some Tom & Jerry.
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Walmart Market. Yes I’m most likely about to eat deer ankles but a 3 piece chicken tender with fries for $5.50 can not be passed up on.
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After 10 weeks in a row of pure grit, my summer job is coming to an end. Considering sending bomb threats or blacking out and yelling racial slurs at my co workers to go out with a bang.
#beer
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Came out of retirement and laced up the basketball cleats today. Won the fraternity 3v3 tournament. Man I could use some liquor.
#bag
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Won the pong tourney at the bar last night. Head feels like a pinball machine rn. Emergency bowl.
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Not sure why I do this to myself but here we are. Oklahoma is missing their top 5 receivers. Will that mean anything probably fucking not. Regardless War Damn let’s have a day.
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Need 6 beers, a bowl, 3 cigarettes, some pledge zyns, reclining chair, any live Grateful Dead album, and a dominoes pan made pizza right about now.
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Fell asleep baked last night watching manu ginobili highlights
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They should make a pro basketball league that does drug tests but you’re required to fail them.
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Hung as tits, windy and rainy outside, sweatshirt and flops on, time for a bowl. Also tune of the day.
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Alright so auburn football, ass. Been dialed in, got a new phone. Here we are and here we are to stay. Live Bob Marley to end off the night.
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Top 5 Gatorade flavors, interchangeable depending on the occasion:
1. Glacier Freeze
2. Orange
3. Lemon Lime
4. Cool Blue
5. Glacier Cherry
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Best feeling is grinding out work all week yet not attending a single class
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Thought of the day: Would u rather let your daughter have an OnlyFans or let your son be a sigma chi. Also if anyone could lend a bag of pixie dust would be much appreciated
#caitlinclark
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Afternoon bowl and Man United game. Let’s have a day fellas.
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Bitches be posting “join (insert soroity)🤪🤪” on their private stories like are u a stupid fuck (yes) no one is seeing that shit
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Jayson Tatum forcing Steve Kerr to give him minutes this Wednesday:
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Just playing FIFA and listening to some Allman Brothers, thanks for asking.
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Saying Angel Reese isn’t a generational player is insane!
Nobody is doing what she is doing, Period !
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Absolute rocket wearing a D rose tshirt 2 rows in front of me. This is the one.
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Bouta indulge in an edible and tune into some American Dad. May dabble in the Braves game if it’s a nail biter.
#bang
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Woke up at 8 am today to what I thought was a swat team banging outside our door. Turns out it was just the ice machine maintenance who was already 4 days fucking late. Thanks for ruining my sleep and my day. Time for a bowl.
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Don’t give a single flying fuck. This video still gives me nightmares.
The delusion for anyone to think that Ol girl doesn’t feel the same way her friends and Boyfriend feels or even act like them is crazy! I know that Group Chat is crazy! But keep making my Rook the issue or villain in the mess. It’s Angel Reese for life ya bishhh
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Top 5 kids shows, interchangeable:
1. Dragon Ball Z
2. Tom & Jerry
3. Pokémon
4. Beyblade
5. Regular Show
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Already have a test this week and teacher gave me a 7 page assignment. Gonna be a rough Labor Day fellas.
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Todays breakfast (yes it’s fucking 12:30). Keepin it simple. God I love brothers week.
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Just got real gritty and cranked some home work out. Plan to make some quesadillas soon, dabble in some fat bowls, watch my parlay lose, and then watch Surfs Up.
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UNLV ML, bang. Payton Thorne not starting, bang. Great weekend so far.
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Just came across this on my reels. Not sure whether I should pretend I never saw this or utilize the rope I found in my attic a couple days ago.
#cbtm
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Nothing better than watching Alexander Volkanovski’s walkout completely racked out
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Fuck Kamala Harris. Fuck Adin Ross. God damn it I need a beer.
Adin Ross exposes Kamala Harris for paying rappers to show up to her rally
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Me at the bar getting ready to roundhouse kick the wheelchair kid who rolled over my ankle just to order a water. (Has somehow happened multiple times)
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