EurovisionApocalypse
@ESCApocalypse
Followers
1,559
Following
991
Media
373
Statuses
14,897
The best, worst and weirdest from Eurovision's national finals
Europe
Joined October 2014
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Hamas
• 884202 Tweets
Netanyahu
• 351124 Tweets
River
• 126837 Tweets
#MaduroSecuestraNiños
• 105884 Tweets
ESPN
• 70189 Tweets
Valverde
• 64953 Tweets
YouTube TV
• 60193 Tweets
Coco
• 56003 Tweets
#NXTNoMercy
• 55536 Tweets
Dinamarca
• 40736 Tweets
#خلصوا_مع_جالينو
• 24607 Tweets
Millonarios
• 22154 Tweets
Falcao
• 20160 Tweets
Giulia
• 19340 Tweets
Fonseca
• 18922 Tweets
Gallardo
• 18343 Tweets
Clooney
• 15393 Tweets
DirecTV
• 14782 Tweets
#WWENXT
• 13596 Tweets
MIX師
• 12094 Tweets
Roxanne
• 11709 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Ahoy book fans! It’s here! The presales link for my latest novel, rather prophetically title WORST. EUROVISION. EVER. is live and waiting for some love!
Click for details!
#Eurovision
@bbceurovision
#worsteurovisionever
5
7
32
So if it is Space Man, I’ve only really got the one problem with it. It sounds like a UK Eurovision entry.
17
10
265
The problem the UK have now is that seeing as we are doing so well in the betting, even a respectable top half finish will be seen as something of a failure to the rank and file, and further fuel for the “it’s all political’ mob. Which will be a darned shame.
#EUROVISION
28
13
246
@ellie_made
Ascot races, also. And being a former resident of that general vicinity, I can tell you that that’s a horrible mash of debauched inhumanity, too.
1
7
157
To their credit, BBC Radio 2 have been playing My Last Breath all day, using it as a sting for discussion pieces, and featuring it in every news story since it was announced. At least somebody believes in it!
4
19
140
The people who are accusing
#Damiano
of snorting cocaine have clearly never snorted cocaine.
#Eurovision
3
12
132
So I’ve had a look at the breakdown of the UK’s jury votes, and as I suspected, we got a whole lot of jurors positioning us between 11-18 - the dreaded accidental last territory. So we’ve really only got to take a couple more steps towards the remarkable and away from the usual.
6
13
126
To be honest, I don’t it matters if Cha Cha Cha wins or loses. It’s got the makings of being the biggest
#Eurovision
cult hit since Dancing Lashsa Tumbai, so the lad’s effectively won already.
5
10
119
So let’s just say that said country, one way or another, gets onto the stage in Turin come May. Whatever you do, don’t boo. Bring whistles and blow them loudly throughout the performance instead. Not only would it be funnier but it’s more likely to be heard on TV.
Pass this on…
13
14
108
So then, I’ve been in the hall tonight, and the biggest hits with the crowd, in order, are:
1: Moldova (by bloody miles)
2: Norway
3: Ukraine
4: Latvia
5: (Now sit down for this one) Austria
The hall was about 2/3 full, about 60% women and another 15% kids.
#Eurovision
13
8
109
I felt so let down by yesterday’s announcement that I wrote an open letter to
@bbceurovision
- not that it’ll achieve much, mind. I just had to get it off my chest.
#eurovision
16
44
104
Don’t listen to the ‘sympathy vote’ whiners.
#Ukraine
was a bolted on contender before any of that nasty business, and they’ve kept it simple and to the point here. It tires a tad in the third act for sure, but sod it, it looks and sounds great.
#Eurovision
5
9
103
This San Marino thing is ever so slowly turning into a car boot Sanremo. Can we do it all again next year please, RTV?
3
8
92
Look, it’s not the end of the world if Loreen wins the big show. Imagine how much it’ll annoy Ireland not being special any more. And better than that, it’ll really, really annoy J*hnny L*g*n…
10
8
91
Hannah Waddingham’s damn good at this. I’m sensing a new cult hero host in the making.
4
8
91
If you genuinely, honestly think that Måneskin and Blind Channel are the same, I think you need to develop new interests. Because music’s possibly not for you.
3
11
86
That A-Z from
@Rylan
was 100% the
#Eurovision
content that I’ve been wishing the BBC would do for years. A massive positive step in the right direction. He can’t take over Norton’s commentary chair soon enough!
6
9
85
I fear the days of the televote as we know it may nearly be over. Someone was going to work out how to game the system before too long, and from the semi-final numbers it looks like it finally happened. Shame.
7
8
85
If anyone still doubts his credentials,
@Rylan
was down the front at
#Euroclub
last night, dancing like a loon and singing along to everything and anything at the top of his lungs. We’re in safe hands!
#GiveHimTheFinal
0
12
76
Of course, if anyone wanted to make their displeasure known for any particular reason, but fears that their boos may be removed from broadcast, there’s always this creative option…
#Eurovision2024
3
28
81
Oh, and to all you tedious Defund The BBC knobends who are opportunistically using this near tragedy to ply your tatty line - you’re the lowest scum of all.
2
20
71
@scattermoon
You really can’t begin to imagine what a major thing this is for Bristol. The council have been fluffing on its removal for decades, so the people sorted it out for them. Proud Bristolian right now!
2
2
68
You can’t say we didn’t warn you,
@bbceurovision
- and it gives us absolutely no pleasure to say so. Here’s what we said was likely to happen back in January. It’s not Brexit, it’s lack of ambition - when will anyone ever listen?
5
15
67
The thing is, I’ve been to gigs in Malta. They’ve got a cracking undergound with all kinds of interesting and unique musics - but all that ever gets on this show is cruise ship artists, cabaret acts and people who really really like Eurovision. Damn shame.
1
6
67
The scene in May if Loredana wins.
Italians and Sanremo fans: Go girl!
The entire rest of Europe: What in the name of…?!!
(Bjorn Borg: Oh shit!)
3
7
67
I know people can be down on Twitter - and especially the
#Eurovision
fandom corner of it - but I’d just like to spend a moment to appreciate what a thouroughly nice, friendly and supportive little enclave I seem to have found myself in this year. Good work, troops!
8
4
64
That bit in Måneskin’s song where it’s just the overdriven bass and the orchestra. Double wow!
#Sanremo2021
2
13
64
@grace_is_sugoi
Oh mate, we laughed our behinds off at that first rehearsal when it was clearly apparent that the empty hall suddenly seemed to reply like a crowd of thousands!
0
0
61
I love watching The Big Eurovision Party on telly. Seeing all the young faces in the crowd having the absolute best time. Ten years back I’d never have imagined this could have happened. It’s so cool how the demographic has changed lately. The contest is in safe hands.
4
2
62
There’s only one antidote to those millionaire Tory sausage roll grifters this Christmas…
1
15
57
Me: No client, we’ve spoken about this before. We need images with file sizes bigger than 3Mb in order for them to print even half decently. Not thumbnails from Facebook.
Client: Well they look big on my phone!
Every. Single. Day. Ad. Infin-bloody-itum!
6
6
61
Listen to the language that’s being used. “Our song wasn’t THAT bad.” Nobody’s saying “Our song was great” or “Our song was a clear contender”. Even the people moaning about the UK’s position didn’t believe in its chances. And therein lies the problem.
#Eurovision
4
6
59
I still get the feeling that something unexpected is going to force its way through the pack on Saturday and surprise us with a decent finish - I just can’t establish what quite yet. Anyone else got their spidey-senses tingling?
#Eurovision
52
2
59
“Not too bad” is the worst possible crime at Eurovision.
5
7
56
Word starting to go round - from an unconfirmed and reasonably new source, mind - that BMG have dropped the
#Eurovision
selection option from their roster. More news when I get it - if it’s actually true, of course!
8
9
52
Of course
@Songfestival_be
are the only chart to follow. They’ve got the history, they work damn hard for a volunteer group, and even the gaming of the system is a traditional part of the fun. It’s not a sport, it’s entertainment, so quit yer moaning and just enjoy the songs!
5
2
55
Exciting times! My next novel - Worst. Eurovision. Ever. - is going to the publishers in the next few days, and we’ll be doing a pack of Eurovision Top Trumps-style cards to go with it!
Woo hoo!
I’ll post a pre-order link as soon as they make one, if you’re interested!
4
3
54
My feels with the Chelcee Grimes story is that when Smooth FM put together the Mika news story, the show’s producer asked who’s doing it for the UK, and someone in the office half remembered a BBC press release from last year’s coverage and blurted out her name. It’s feasible.
6
6
50
Alert! Alert! If you hear any stories in the popular press at this time of year about a UK act being ‘in talks’ about
#Eurovision
, first take a massive pinch of salt, next see if they’ve currently got anything to sell, and then check who’s doing their PR. It’s generally hogwash.
2
3
49
My annual reminder to the usual tedious Brits harping on about no one liking us. In the last 9 contests we’ve had points from every country still in it. Which means we’ve been in every one of their top tens over the period they’re moaning about. That don’t look like hate to me.
3
6
50
It’s that time of the year where we have to remind people that being favourite in the betting isn’t to do with a song’s likelihood of winning - it’s to do with the amount of money bet on any particular country. It’s not a prediction chart but a table showing money risked.
3
15
46
Yeah, don’t give any oxygen to that Daily Fail
#Eurovision
piece. It’s just another tedious part of their anti-BBC agenda. Note the lack of named sources. Sure, we’ve all got our issues with the Beeb, but that article is just vindictive bullshit.
4
5
45
All those people who’d been sleeping on San Marino - you didn’t believe us, did you! Now you know!
#Eurovision
2
5
47
Man, there’s a whole lot of mysogyny and weight-shaming in Eurovisionia tonight! Take a look at yourselves, people. That’s not sass or shade, it’s just plain rude ignorance!
#Eurovision
5
5
46
Do you know what? I’ve taken a close look at all of this year’s
#Eurovision
runners and riders, and have come to the conclusion that none of the bleeders are going to win. AGAIN! Here’s why…
2
9
46
So I’m writing a
#Eurovision
themed novel to keep myself entertained during lockdown. I’m about a third of the way through at the mo. Would anyone be even remotely interested in seeing it when it’s done?
#WorstEurovisionEver
20
2
42
Potential good news. Because my first book is selling pretty decently, by publishers are looking to put my Eurovision novel out early in the Summer - just in time to help calm the onset of PED! I’ll keep you posted on any developments!
2
2
43
Hands up who else it going to watch Italian telly for another half hour just because you can’t let go?!
#Sanremo2022
5
3
44
Thank you
#Ukraine
! Finally someone’s made the effort to look incredible on that big dark stage. This looks like a proper
#Eurovision
performance at last, and the last 48 seconds absolutely belt along. Not for everyone, obv, but very much for me! My fave so far by a distance.
6
4
44
There’s a strange subset of
#Eurovision
fans who despite living for curious art rock and musical strangeness, love ESC for what it is, and only ask for one or two songs a year that we’d listen to in the real world. Tonight was our night, brothers and sisters! Rejoice!
3
3
41
Just heard
#Bulgaria
. Oh dear. I can see a band playing that at pretty much any pub on the planet any night of the week. But it would have been laughably dated in the 90s, let alone now. And folk are going to assume I like it cos I’m an old bloke with long hair. Bah!
#Eurovision
5
2
43
Thinking about it, we might be on a run of fine winners, but the run of second place songs is incredible - arguably going back a good decade! The innivation and influence sits with the near misses, clearly.
#Eurovision
5
0
43
So here’s where I am with the UK song. It’s the kind of thing that people like me have been crying out for for ages, but somehow I get the feels that it’s two or three years too late. But, the dang thing’s stuck in my head after one play, and it’s a welcome leap into proper pop!
5
2
41
Are people SERIOUSLY predicting
#Moldova
are going to finish last in their semi? Have they not been paying attention? Here’s why I think (hope) they’re wrong…
#eurovision
13
3
39
Man alive! That finished exactly on three hours to the second! How the heck did the BBC pull that off?!
#EurovisionAgain
5
3
39
In any other contest La Rappresentante di Lista would have this bagged. They’d be incredible at Eurovision, too. Let’s hope there’s some weird turn of fortune somewhere down the line.
#Sanremo2021
0
9
39
Do you know what? I get the distinct feeling that nobody is going to win
#Eurovision
this year. Again!
6
8
37
I’m getting a strong feeling that a lot of us who’ve been watching Una Voce Per San Marino this week are also survivors of the great Turkvision Recap of Death.
6
4
39
Things that have never been done before at
#Eurovision
:
* Prince Charles on a unicycle
* A firework curtain made of peas
* Knitted wasps
* Live disembowelment
* A netball tournament
* Cheese rolling
* Snake jazz
* Hedgemaking lessons
Add your own...
18
6
38
It’s that time of the year again where I take a close forensic look at all the runners and riders in this year’s
#Eurovision
stakes and come to the conclusion that none of them are going to win. And much like most of the songs, last year’s was better...
4
5
39
In quite unexpected news, I appear to have bagged a small scale publishing deal for my Banksy novel - and they sound halfway interested in my almost completed Eurovision book too!
I won’t entirely believe it until I see the paper in my chubby mitts, but all the same - woohoo!
10
2
39
That freakishly unexpected bit of Eurovisionness has happened. The Spanish have somehow put together a bunch of national final songs that as a UK-based fan I’d kill for. No one had that on their bingo card, surely?
#BenidormFest
2
4
38
I just realised. I went to my first
#Eurovision
before any of
#M
åneskin were born! Shiiiiit!
5
1
39
All you pop acts who say “Yeah, I’d write a
#Eurovision
song” every year and don’t. Put up or shut up. I’m looking at you
@edsheeran
et al.
2
6
37
I think for some people the Rina rumour’s a bit like when you’ve convinced yourself that you’ve got a bike for Christmas. In the end you got some pretty great stuff, but it all felt rubbish cos you can’t get that bike out of your head.
#Eurovision
2
1
34
And that, ladies and gentlemen, in a nutshell, is why Ireland are still shit at Eurovision.
#interval
#Ireland
#eurovision
3
9
36
At the end of the day,
#ESC250
is just a bit of fun, and
@Songfestival_be
aren’t an official governing body doing something important. They’re just fans like you and me, putting a lot of their own time into keeping us entertained for a day, whatever the results. Good on them!
1
2
36
Just a little reminder. The song deadline is for the HoD meeting, not the likes of us. There’s no obligation for the songs to be released to the public until the actual shows. They will be. But they don’t have to be.
3
3
33
Well that was just about the best four and a bit hours I’ve ever spent leaning against a tree outside a panini stall.
#Eurovision
2
1
35
The thing is, if Bambi goes decent on Saturday, what the hell is Eurosong on the Late Late going to look like next year?!
#Eurovision
5
0
34
Just some advice to anyone confidently claiming “Of course they knew” who doesn’t have cast iron evidence to the fact: you’re walking on shaky ground with regards to the 2013 Defamation Act, and should one of the parties you are slurring wish to sue, you’ll get a criminal record.
2
5
36
The Spanish think they’re onto a good thing right now, but how are they going to feel when they’re battling at least three other songs with a very similar blueprint for the same voting population’s votes?
#benidormfest
5
3
33
To be honest, in ESC fandom - and especially at this time of the year - if anything at all happens, people lose their shit over it. And those that didn’t lose their shit subsequently lose their shit over the people losing their shit. It’s a story as old as time.
#Eurovision
3
1
34
UK Eurofans. Have you spent your day quietly thanking civillians for sending you links about our strong likelihood of holding the next
#Eurovision
and asking if you’d seen the news? Bless ‘em for being interested, mind.
4
2
34
Is it nearly time for the talk about how the betting odds have nothing to do with this or that song’s chances of winning, but are instead an indication of the money bet on a particular song or the risk a bookmaker feels is worth taking on it? You’d think we’d have got it by now?
3
4
35
Oi! You lot of types saying that Blind Channel and Måneskin are the same. They’re not by a long chalk. That’s no different to saying Uku and Jendrick are the same - timesed by about five and a half.
#Eurovision
4
5
34
I finally got around to watching Fire Saga, and despite all the obvious factual errors and what not, I flipping loved it. Silly, but with a massive heart! What a nice surprise!
5
1
33
I was on Jemini’s flights both in and out of Riga. On the way in they were strutting up the aisles like they knew they were going to win the thing. On the way back they wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone. Ha!
#EurovisionAgain
4
3
32
All you people moaning about the perceived arrogance of Achille Lauro clearly don’t know the difference between a rock band and and a rock star.
#EUROVISION
#SanMarino
#AchilleLauro
0
7
31
I so wish that
#Tusse
had a better song, because as he’s been showing all week the kid’s got an incredible personality. But little of it is able to shine through this big slab of MF generia. Oh
#Sweden
, what are we going to do with you?
#Eurovision
5
9
32
Hands up who got a tiddly bit weepy during Fai Rumore...
✋🏻
4
1
31
How France held one of the greatest and most anarchic
#Eurovision
national finals of all time in 2007 - A thread.
The genius idea was to get five media channels to pick two songs each from successful acts in popular and contemporary styles. And boy did they get it right! 1/
1
8
30
You may notice the randomness of these reprises. They were cut from the friday night clips. I found myself outside the edit suite when they were doing them. It was shabbat and they wanted to get home. They were literally just going “clip. clip. That’ll do!”
#EurovisionAgain
1
6
30
Bloody hell! Dargen’s ‘pa-parara’ refrain just set me off! Of all the things! That was so damn triumphant.
#Sanremo2022
has broken me good and proper!
5
2
32
I see that some portions of the new fandom have been with us for long enough to get all bumptiously uppity about what they erroneously describe as joke songs. I thought we’d got rid of that kind of snooty real music cobblers when fandom got encouragingly younger?
9
5
30
A lesson from history. 1980: almost every nation sent their most unhinged, unusual or interesting song to date… and the one simple but well-constructed ballad beat the lot of ‘em.
My spidey senses are tingling that it might happen again!
#Eurovision
6
2
31
If
#Jeangu
’s song was in a film, choirs of middle aged ladies would be singing it at charity fundraisers in community centres for years! And it would probably get an Oscar nod too. I so hope this does way better than its lowly odds suggest.
#Eurovision
#TheNetherlands
3
5
30
Finally I’m in flipping Liverpool! If you see this elderly wizard, stop him and say hello. He’s mostly friendly!
2
2
30
I remember what my old nan used to tell me as I sat on her knee and she flung sugar lumps onto the open fire. “One year every country could send their worst ever entry and someone would still have to win!” Imagine how much fun that would be to try to predict!
3
4
29
I heard my neighbour’s mid-teen daughter listening to
#M
åneskin out in the garden last week. Two days later and I saw her gothed up in public for the first time. Man that band has some rock’n’roll power!
0
3
27
Every time I watch a Moldovan final I’m reminded of the year I went - more specifically the VIP toilets in this very building. I didn’t have the nerve to visit the bogs for the general public…
11
2
27
@citi_zeni
@ChanelTerrero
That’s it! I’ve been cynical towards you lot from day one. But you’ve been slowly getting under my skin, and with this video you’ve finally won me over, curse you!
1
0
29
Oh no, I’ve just heard who’s announcing the UK’s votes at Eurovision, and I don’t like it!
25
1
29
@OneiroMou
Funnily enough, I wrote a thing about it explaining the entire catalogue of weirdness that led to their win…
2
1
26