Dusty Pee
@DustyPee
Followers
5,091
Following
3,569
Media
49,691
Statuses
172,665
Aiming for 5.1k followers. NEVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. I know it’s a fucking ceiling. #Morrissey #pubroof
By the big wheel generator.
Joined December 2011
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I fucking knew it! This just makes so much sense. Do your own research, sheeple. Lucky we don’t have to because we’ve got this guy on our side.
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Put a load of washing in on cotton ‘eco’ mode. It goes for 3 fucking hours! How long does normal mode take, 6 weeks?
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Guys. Quick heads up. Stop fucking killing women. JFC. It’s not that hard.
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I didn’t know Keen’s Curry Powder fucking stains white marble bench tops until this morning. 😡
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Renewing an Optus contract and they want to confirm my ID. Can’t some Russian kid do that for me?
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You can hardly notice the neighbour’s fucking search lights pointing into my lounge room.
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Nothing instills fear into teenagers partying more than a short bald bloke without his glasses wearing dachshund print Peter Alexander pyjamas confronting them at 2am.
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Mr 18 just came out and gave me a big hug thanking me for the party we threw for him ❤️ (Also said he’s never seen so many spew at a party before 😂)
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This is the first time Lola has been in a tank with sand. He has just worked out how to bury himself. 😂
#tanktransformation
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On a scale of 0 to not fucking smart, where do I sit? I just had this delivered and I have a guy coming in 30 minutes to pick up the pinball machine via that gate. 🙄😬
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I have wanted a RTC for nearly 30 years now. Today my dream came true. ❤️
#tanktransformation
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Oh look, one didn’t get murdered after surviving the Canberra trip. 🙄
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A bloke owes me $1500 (from Feb!). I told him he has to pay $395 today to be able to collect his job. He bought in $400 and asked for the $5 change. WTAF?
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Super proud Dad moment - My (not so) little man got his licence today!
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Eldest has his formal tonight. Asked if he could wear one of my watches. Boy did I laugh. Dug out a fake gold Rolex I bought about 20 years ago and the thing is still ticking! That’s Bali quality for you!
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You know that dishwasher I bought 2 days ago? It’s on sale today for $400 less.
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Know what I just worked out while on the call to Samsung? It’s a fucking LG wash tower. 😂😂
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It’s a beauty! Fanta just sniffed it and fucked off back to his spot. Clown knifefish. No name as yet. 🤔
#Tanktransformation
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A full HR investigation is underway. The culprit(s) will be identified.
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Teaching my kids the ancient art of ‘your towel won’t fucking dry if you hang it up wrapped in a fucking soccer ball shape’. FFS.
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Merry Xmas Aussie dudes. I love you all, except you. And that other bloke.
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Guy next to me is a rude cunt. No need to bark orders at the people serving. Fuck I hate that.
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Just bought this off eBay for the lounge room. Bonus I can move it room to room.
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Fuck. Just accidentally liked one of my own tweets. Deleting my account as we speak.
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FFS. This is why I don’t go in to the office. I have issued written warnings.
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Omg! Are you from sydney? I’m from Sydney! Which part? Western suburbs. *walks off
#loveislandau
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Not gonna say this Smeg dishwasher is a piece of shit, but it is. 🙄
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Number of peppercorns that made it into the grinder - 7
Number of peppercorns in the sink - 603
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So the guys that bought my joint got a big gift box from the agent. I bought my new joint off the same agent and got fucking nothing. 😂🙄
#SellingDustys
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Just had a call from LG. They don’t have the part to fix the wash tower. They are sending me out a whole new wash tower!
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If you’re not cruising the streets of Thornbury at 10.30 at night looking for a chest of drawers, what are you doing with your life?
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