Stephen Spurling Is... @Drangula
@Drangula
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2,210
Following
1,368
Media
6,429
Statuses
49,548
Jokes. Movies. Politics.
Indianapolis IN
Joined September 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I don't want to feel better. I want to be at peace.
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@Sargon_of_Akkad
That's instant break-up and instant regret for every moment spent with her.
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Shaddup, the both of you! I'm Dixie McDingledonk!
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@Sargon_of_Akkad
No one needed to scream "WOMEN ARE FUNNY!" when Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Gilda Radner were on the air.
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I'm wearing my heart in my chest again. The sleeve idea was dangerous and stupid.
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Sir, this is a serious auction. Please stop bidding “adieu” on everything.
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Now, this particular city we built on polka.
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Not sure how the internet will react to this.
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@SangitaMyska
@RosamundUrwin
@BBCNews
@Channel4
@thetimes
"Credible journalists."
"Credible news organisations."
Lol.
Where have you been? Corporate and state media cashed in their credibility ages ago. They cashed it in and are going into debt.
"Credible."
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It turns out there's an easier way to make waffles than stepping on pancakes with boots.
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@TheAtlantic
@anneapplebaum
Keep doing this, corporate media. Cash in all your credibility and then go into debt.
You can't collapse into rubble fast enough.
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I wish a clusterfuck was as much fun as it sounds.
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If a production of "Waiting for Godot" is bad, you can just jump on stage and say, "I'm Godot!" and then it's over.
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Where have you been all my life and how soon can you go back there?
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Can't we just put an "i" in "team" so we don't have to hear about it again?
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I could see in the spider’s eyes that he understood the irony of getting caught in flypaper.
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And with the fixed smile of a ballerina I listen to the tale of your tattoo.
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Let's throw caution to the winds and then frantically scramble to retrieve it.
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We should be more positive and rename it Up Syndrome.
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I asked for a "coff of cuppee" by mistake at the diner, and everyone laughed. I laughed, too, and then I shot up the place.
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No matter how much crickets enjoy your act, you always feel like you’re bombing.
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@ScottAdamsSays
Daniel Penny was not arrested because he's White. He was arrested because he defended himself and others. The ruling class, as
@michaelmalice
often says, wants you defenseless.
Another subway hero was arrested. This time it was a black man who had to defend passengers from a subway psychopath.
Soros DA’s are quick to file charges in these cases.
Isn’t that interesting?
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@stillgray
Brilliant. Beautiful. The world is better for having Vivek Ramaswamy in it, and worse for having Nikki Haley in it.
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Your lips say "no," but your eyes say, "I'm a pair of talking eyes."
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@TheRightPodcast
@Timcast
A collage of things you dislike and the word "censorship" in scare quotes. I see what you mean!
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Stop being attractive, people who will never find me attractive.
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Life is too short to be a basketball player.
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If you love something be more specific.
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@JackPosobiec
He wants to protect children in schools. Wasn't the narrative that the masks on children were for the protection of the teachers?
And are they now claiming that children are dying from covid?
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@libsoftiktok
@Maybelline
Doesn't this stuff already feel like a relic of the past?
Read the room, Maybelline.
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With a heavy heart and jerky body movements, I'm starting to accept that the rhythm will probably never get me.
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@Cernovich
It's impossible for me to imagine an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving God allowing us to be tormented eternally, even if it's through our own folly and wickedness. If one ends up in a permanent hell of any kind, the "all-loving" part must be wrong.
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@Sargon_of_Akkad
The Woke have decided "homosexual" is a word for the out-group.
It's pointless. It's arbitrary. And that's the point.
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I'm going to hell. You guys need anything?
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I'd like to sleepwalk. There's no way I'm going to exercise while I'm awake.
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@RealEmirHan
Jack Nicholson was born to play Jack Torrance in THE SHINING (1980), but Kubrick undermined his performance by having the character go mad so quickly.
I'm the rare movie fan who doesn't place the role among Nicholson's best performances. (I still love the movie.)
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@CNN
@benicus_rex
Oh, god, before I noticed the date, I thought this hoax had started all over again.
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Is anybody willing to offer me hush money? I'll shut up about anything.
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@RealEmirHan
Favorite movie with a female lead?
Well, she starts out as the lead.
Janet Leigh in Psycho (1960)
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@UnityNewsNet
"A 98-year-old was given standing ovation by the Canadian parliament during Zelensky's speech. He was hailed as a hero for fighting against the Russians. Yaroslav Hunk fought for the 14th division of the Waffen SS."
Look at the number of evil politicians.
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Well, MY Steve Jobs movie will have him killing vampires.
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@TheCinesthetic
What is your favorite scene featuring someone smoking?
Paul Henreid | Now Voyager (1942) | Gif
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Can't wait for "The Last of the Mohicans Part II: Turns Out There's Another Mohican."
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I just assumed Aquaman had a fair grasp of marine biology.
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Do we know how to make cheese just in case something happens to Wisconsin?
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@ConceptualJames
I don't know how The Babylon Bee stays in business when reality keeps topping it.
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The Beatles never finished singing "Hey, Jude." They're still singing it now.
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I was a Grammar Nazi in my youth, but that won’t stop me from becoming the Grammar Pope.
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@AlexEpstein
The elite demanding we worry about climate change talk about gas ovens and plastic straws, but not nuclear energy.
How can I take it seriously?
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@ClassicStrips
This is the infamous panel that no one understood. Larson got lots of mail from puzzled readers.
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"So quiet and peaceful," says my brain, interrupting the quiet and peace.
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@MohiniTangri
@Harvard_Law
The Woke wanted cancel culture. You get cancel culture.
I don't have to live by your rules, but you do.
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@RealEmirHan
Best movie where the city is like a character?
Kim Novak and the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
Vertigo (1958) | Still
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