Dr MJ, Mr Boh
@DrMJMrBoh
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Never forget: the whole world's a wooden house and you're a goddamn flamethrower.
Joined May 2020
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TLP HAIRPIN OF LOVE
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India Will Become A Vishwaguru
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@Hbomberguy
I can't believe James Somerton's excuse for plagiarism is him stepping on a rake when he was a child?
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Ozil's friends since joining Arsenal: a billionaire defensive midfielder, a fearless left back with close quarters fighting skills, and literally a dinosaur
is he forming the Avengers or what
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People are quick to dismiss Arsenal fans when we bring up the Invincibles every time one of the other teams get somewhat close, but a big part of the Invincibles' glory is how Wenger was asked "do you think you could go a full season unbeaten" and he said yes
And then he did it
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In the last 5 seasons the PL winner had 93 points on average. Also known as 2.44 points per game. That's almost half a point more than SAF's average in his entire career.
I think people underestimate how insanely difficult it is to win the PL in the current climate.
🚨It’s advantage Manchester City in a Premier League title race three teams are falling over themselves to lose. Report from the Emirates where Unai Emery inflicted Arsenal’s latest blow:
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Arsene Wenger's best ever signing
On this day in 1995, Dennis Bergkamp joined Arsenal 🚀
Here's a thread of his absolute genius… ❌✈️🇳🇱
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When half of your squad had explosive diarrhea after eating lasagne we wished them a speedy recovery, you heartless bastards.
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Dennis Bergkamp, Dennis Bergkamp, Dennis Bergkamp, Dennis Bergkamp!!! DENNIS BERGKAMP!!!! DENNIS BERGKAMP!!!!!!!
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@RiegerReport
"I can excuse being directly responsible for the death of half a million Iraqis, but I draw the line at guys vandalising a few desks and moderately intimidating American cops"
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@DeAnna4Congress
Yeah it's very curious the people who spent the last six months pretending there isn't a pandemic, defying mask and isolation orders and conduction closed-venue events for their hog supporters also are the ones who got the disease?
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@crulge
When you read this interview you must remember that this is a very fringe opinion by a deranged person and also the official policy of the Israeli government
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Mikel has provided an update on Saka ahead of Manchester City 👇
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@MrsMThatcher
@GaricoGary
Thank you prime minister for pioneering the first gender neutral toilet in the UK
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@KrangTNelson
If anyone knows a lot of facts about massacring innocent civilians it's probably a guy with these three facts in his bio
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We've been comfortably the much better side, it's gonna be great when we somehow score an own goal and lose here
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@david_j_roth
I love showing up to protest something out of some incredibly dumb feeling I have, then seeing the thing I'm protesting isn't actually happening, and deciding to shout USA USA instead
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@JDanial16
@Mbren92
@JeddyMercury
They had not conceded a single goal at home in 3.5 months, that mid table team, prior to Martinelli. Pretending it wasn't a very tough match is just dumb
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@steinkobbe
Also what's the point of not making it a subway? The original argument was "I don't want to encounter strangers on my journey the NYC subway is yucky and full of weirdos" and then they make you touch knees with some other tourist in a Tesla
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While some people sleep, I do what I like to call a "short coma", from 10pm till around 7am
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So. All over in a tough old Premier League season for Arsenal. Do you have a favourite moment? Mine is Martinelli's goal at Stamford Bridge. Just googled it and found a view I hadn't seen before...
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Absolutely fucking hilarious that it's the same guy who literally handled the ball with his literal hand in the box 15 minutes before
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When you listen to Hotel California for the first time
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This is just an insane day. Started with Tottenham being bantered off by a fancy dog and now we've defeated racism. Just unreal day
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Don't listen to any advice on this platform
If you could give Mikel Arteta one piece of advice, what would it be?
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that is simply unreal balls. the most amount of balls anyone has ever had. maximum balls
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@AlanDersh
"I've been accused of being a pedophile for many many years now, it's nothing new"
brilliant strategy, professor!
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Ethan Nwaneri was 8 years old when this tweet was posted
To Steve's followers, this is his wife Babs. Sadly, Steve passed away last night. His final word was "Benzema"; Make of that what you will.
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@OmarBaddar
@ByYourLogic
Incredible contrast from the self assured statement in the OP to the "what do you mean? I don't think that's true" in the immediate reply
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@member_mensa
@tom_smells
@lowkeyscum
@VICEUK
if that's just placebo effect then literally anything you do will give you these same results. drinking a shot of olive oil. doing five pushups before bed. not drinking orange juice. trying to read a book cross-eyed. it doesn't actually do anything
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@nickcueva
@EoinHiggins_
Wouldn't it be amazing though if he went on a long monologue about the Last of Us 2 boss?
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@willmenaker
Literally one of the funniest storylines/arcs of all time is how they got engaged by mistake and then married because of politeness. She was so good in that
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@AdamsEwot
@maxberger
@davidhogg111
It costs me 0$, 0 books and 0 time to pay my taxes because I live in a real country and not an elaborate rube goldberg machine
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If she wanted the autograph of a sex pest she could have easily asked her son for one?
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Who's her agent, Jorge Mendes?
The Queen will receive an inflation-defying “bonus” of nearly £30m from the public purse over the next two years thanks to an obscure rule which means her income cannot go down.
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@steinkobbe
In like 25 years no one will remember the Streisand effect, it will be known as the Musk effect instead
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@johnrudolf
@Redistrict
Every single one of them won reelection and they added two more super progressives?
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@Kloppholic
Your manager when you scored one out of three goals against an already relegated Middlesbrough
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ONE OF THEM IS LITERALLY ON HIS PHONE
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If you told me like 5 years ago we'd be top of the table with 3 games to go and just closed a 3 game week with 9 points including thrashing Chelsea and a win away at Spurs - I'd would have had to section you
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Same energy
Diablo 4's Helltide events now let you earn rare Uniques from Tortured Gift chests. Rumor has it future patches will let you foment Pain Shards by transmorphing Wound Imps into Malfeasance Tokens, instead of having to distress your own Affliction Coins.
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Good. Nerds
Harry Potter fans were left disappointed as a commuter train passed through the station at the same time as the steam train which served as the Hogwarts Express 🚂🚄
More here:
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@christapeterso
You're correct, it doesn't make her a murderer, you know what does make her a murderer though? All the evidence for all the murders she did
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What’s the most iconic moment/day in the history of Football Twitter?
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This... Doesn't avoid any dishes being washed?
Student drains pasta over the toilet to avoid washing the dishes in the sink
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This is my attitude with Arsenal
Woman shouts 'I still love sharks' after being attacked by one
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They... Should have seen this coming?
Psychics, tarot card readers and other intuitive workers online are grappling with a truly absurd number of scammers and impersonators targeting their communities. A few talked to me about the problem, and some bigger systemic issues in psychic labor:
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@OmarBaddar
@atrupar
Black people did not kill 1200 individuals and rape dozens of women immediately before Jim Crow was installed,or did I miss something?
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@GrathRyner
@hasanthehun
He could have ostensibly been protecting James Bond, he could have ostensibly been protecting God himself. He didn't fucking protect anything, he went to a street in another state because he knew people were protesting the murder of a black man and he wanted to shoot them.
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This moment, besides costing approximately six months of my life, also reminded me of the greatest YouTube video of all time:
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@ElNennY
If you bring us 23 points from the next 9 games i am converting to Islam inshallah
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@Pr0xyWars
@GriffinMalone6
@sabotagebeats
So he should only be in jail for half of his natural life, not the whole of it
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@LizRummy
@steinkobbe
If anyone ever gets bored of non binary, autistic, wheelchair bound, blind, deaf, trans, one legged James Bonds of colour… I’m ready to take my place in the pantheon
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@member_mensa
@tom_smells
@lowkeyscum
@VICEUK
I gave some very stupid examples to emphasize the point. You could say that going vegan, going dark on social media or becoming a serial killer would have the same effects as not masturbating. It's not because these things have any specific physiological attributes, just because
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We have a patient in the COVID ward who is in serious condition, just about a coin flip if he survives or not, and his daughter just died of covid in another ward. The family can't decide whether to tell him the bad news or "just let them meet up in heaven"
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@Mutant187
@queeralamode
@cmclymer
I served. I did two tours in the Kabul International Airport McDonald's branch. I saw all of my friends get severe burns from the fries machine. One of them lost a finger trying to control a Mcflurry machine gone berserk. Am I allowed to have an opinion on Afghanistan?
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His name literally "Good Night" and he's complaining about dark at 3 pm?
🎙️ Facundo Buonanotte on when he first joined Brighton: “It was windy and cold… with my agent we were in a hotel overlooking the sea. It was getting dark at 3 in the afternoon and I was thinking ‘where have I gone’. I wanted to kill myself, but I didn’t say anything.”
[via
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We have now lost more league games this season than we did in the 02/03 through 04/05 seasons. That's three seasons. Combined.
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@steinkobbe
@growing_daniel
Famously spacex invented space rockets no one has ever done them before
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@chefspike
@foxpudding
@tomcolicchio
@CHFTYPizzas
Hello chef I have this very rare NFT with a rendered exclusive photo of Ben Franklin, can I eat at your restaurant?
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We're on track to get 85 points this season. The last time that was enough to win a PL title was Leicester in 15/16. Almost a decade ago. That's bonkers
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Trying to get Jamie Vardy to sign for a country where alcohol is banned is an incredible level of incompetence
BREAKING! Leicester striker Jamie Vardy has turned down an approach from Saudi Arabian side Khaleej FC.
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As a doctor I can tell you we usually travel in groups of 16 when taking care of extremely low risk, stable patients who are in great spirits. It's a totally normal thing
BREAKING: President
@realDonaldTrump
is 'doing very well' according to his medical team at Walter Reed hospital. Symptoms improving, not on oxygen, fever-free for 24hrs, working & 'in great spirits.'
Very upbeat statements.
Good news.
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@KrangTNelson
PhD in macroeconomics and her thesis here is "let's go through the top 10 companies by total market cap and do what they do but with crypto?" lmao
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Playing all of their direct rivals in the run in. Absolutely monstrous
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@BluDogAnchorite
@ebruenig
She is saying "keep trying to abuse people into adopting the same views as you, it might work", not "keep taking ivermectin, it might work".
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@Joey7Barton
Tell me you're a 41 year old whose ex won't let him see the kids without telling me you're a 41 year old whose ex won't let him see the kids
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