TUESDAY NIGHT LA
Brian Posehn and Patton Oswalt are joining me to interrupt a movie at Dynasty Typewriter. Yes, half of the original Comedians of Comedy!
Since Tuesday is Oct 1st, bring horror movies, please. And thank you!
WHILE BRIAN WILSON IS TRENDING I WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT 'GOD ONLY KNOWS' IS ONE OF THE BEST POP SONGS EVER WRITTEN AND ALL THE OTHER BEACH JERKS DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO RECORD IT
Hey Joe Biden, cannabis is a gateway to not having seizures for, you know, children suffering from seizures, and a gateway to happiness for adults who, without harming anybody, derive pleasure from it, old man.
Oh, and it was also a gateway to the Presidency, dummy.
#OldDummy
Who wants to see Elon Musk host SNL, show of hands?
NO ONE IS RAISING THEIR HAND
SOME PEOPLE ARE CUTTING OFF THEIR HANDS
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?????????
Very sad day. Richard Lewis was not only one of the great comics who inspired me to try stand-up, he was also very nice to me when I met him in the early days of my career. His encouragement was the push I needed to keep going in a field that can be not encouraging at all. RIP
...We should be standing up straight and tall, ideally with a salute, or a hand on heart. There are other things you can protest, but not our Great American Flag - NO KNEELING!
Shit. Louie Anderson is another person I wish I had told how important he was to me. I was already a fan when he popped up in Ferris Bueller. He was instrumental in my journey to becoming a stand-up. Stories to come. RIP
Listen Hellboy. You talk good game when you’ve got Hollywood makeup & stuntmen. But I’ll bet $10k—to the nonpolitical charity of your choice—that you couldn’t last 5 min in the wrestling ring w/
@Jim_Jordan
w/o getting pinned. You up for it? Or does your publicist say too risky?
If you are gathering with anyone you don’t live with this Thanksgiving, YOU are the reason we are not going to beat Covid in this country.
Stay the fuck home. And don’t have people over.
We still have a chance.
Brian is one of the funniest and nicest comedians I have known. I wish him a full and speedy recovery and I wish that all comedians would stop doing indoor shows.
Brian Regan's COVID diagnosis highlights the irresponsibility of comedy clubs running shows during the pandemic--and the whole comedy industry, including the media, are behind these failures.
I’m going to give $250 to
@Smiletrain
every time either team scores (touchdown, field goal, extra point, etc) in the
#SuperBowl
today. $250 covers the cost of a procedure that changes a child’s life. Root for a high scoring game if you want to help children!
I tallied up your votes and your favorite guests on my podcasts are...
10) Sarah Silverman
9) Kumail Nanjiani
8) Todd Glass
7) Jon Hamm
6) Leonard Maltin
5) Samm Levine
4) Dan Van Kirk
3) Amy Miller
2) Paul F. Tompkins
1) Geoff Tate
They will all be back on my shows...soon!
New Yorkers may begin to see our officers with black mourning bands across their shields—and across their hearts. We wear these in quiet commemoration of our 27 brothers and sisters we’ve lost to
#COVID
.
Another way we honor our vow to
#NeverForget
.
Real Time is coming back, unfortunately, sans writers or writing. It has been five months, and it is time to bring people back to work. The writers have important issues that I sympathize with, and hope they are addressed to their satisfaction, but they are not the only people
People have been saying really nice things to me lately about what DOUG LOVES MOVIES means to them, which makes me so happy, because I still love doing it and will keep doing it as long as I can. Hope you’re having a great Sunday.
BREAKING: Jimmy Buffet passed away at 76. Some people suspect foul play. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame.
But I know it's nobody's fault.
“Did someone say Tutti Fruitti?” It was Little Richard. Who proceeded to sit down at our table and regale us with stories about being the architect of Rock and Roll and inspiring The Beatles. So damn friendly, so damn entertaining. Ending sentences with “woooo!” So joyful. RIP
James Corden’s
#CarpoolKaraoke
called into question as viral video shows that the comedian doesn’t actually drive the car, but instead gets towed along by a truck.