Dominic Frisby
@DominicFrisby
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Laughter, acclaim & opportunity. Comedy stuff: Money stuff:
London
Joined January 2012
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Shows I have coming up
Shaping the Earth. Oct 10th Museum of Comedy, London. This is the "lecture with funny bits" I did in i Edinburgh this year. Super interesting even though I say so myself.
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My accidental journey to a six-pack.
In the last few years I have gone from this to this.
I’m 54. I’ve suddenly got a 6-pack. Sort of. A 4-pack. I’ve lost 48 pounds (22 kg). My metabolic age has come down from 57 (when I was 51) to 49. I'm super fit.
What happened?
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Harsh! This was projected onto the BBC building last night
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Look what someone projected onto the Bank of England last night.
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I think this may be one of the of the most ridiculous charts I have ever seen.
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UK to lose more millionaires than any other country says UBS.
Earn £500k, you pay £211,203 in Income Tax.
To replace that
28 more need to earn 50k (£7,486 tax each)
85 more 25k (£2,486 each)
435 more 15k (£486 each)
Public services are about to get even worse.
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You’d think it was the far right that went on a stabbing spree and killed a load of kids
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I would have thought the more important story is that a child was murdered
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I am sorry to announce that my father Terence Frisby, passed away yesterday morning. He was in his bed, holding my hand as he went. He died quietly and peacefully, and made no fuss.
I loved him very much. We all did.
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This was projected onto Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament last night
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Ooof!
Someone projected this onto the wall of the BBC building last night
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48,100,000 views on Twitter.
538 on Tiktok. 😆
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Live footage of the government running the country
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In broad daylight today in Peckham, outside the cafe where my son’s gf works: Amazon driver toots a moped driver for reckless driving. Moped driver pulls alongside him, gets out a machete and stabs him through the window.
That’s how normalised knives now are in parts of London.
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3. Dead Hangs
I think these might have been the transformer, as I’ve only been doing them a few months. Get a pull-up bar & hang from it. At first, you will only be able to hang for a bit, but keep hanging every day so that eventually you can hang for 2 minutes.
I only started
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Today is a truly special occasion and, in honour of Transgender Day of Visibility, I offer you:
I’m Gonna Marry Gary
Featuring
@LeoKearse
in the role of Gary and
@LewisSchaffer
in the role of Barry, performances which, if there were any justice, would win multiple awards.
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State expenditure now 47% of UK GDP.
UK is destroying itself.
"There is no freedom without economic freedom."
Nothing anyone can do. It's systemic. We are going to a bad place.
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To mark Sockland's new
#HateCrimeAct
, which comes into effect today, I present Hate Speech.
Directed by
@alexmaccaroon
God I was fat.
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Anyone passing BBC HQ last night would have seen this last night
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Anyone travelling over Westminster Bridge last night might have seen this projected on the wall of St Thomas's.
#hugs
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The actions of the police are symptomatic of a nation that has lost touch with its core principles, that no longer knows what it stands for or what its purpose is, what is right and what is wrong. That's what happens when you erode tradition & replace it with empty slogans
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Codswallop!!
The anthem that could have been
WARNING: contains dancing.
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Serious warning: if you get into an Uber or Bolt and this man is driving, be very careful. If he offers you a drink of water, do NOT accept, especially if you are a young woman or girl. It is likely spiked. Operates in London area. (Or used to).
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Dear
@bankofengland
Please can you explain where the £1.473 billion you used to buy UK government debt this afternoon came from?
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If wages in the UK had gone up by as much as house prices since 1970, the average salary would be £94,640.
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@elonmusk
Thank you very much, sir!
If anyone wants to come and see me sing this and other unacceptable far right songs live, follow me or click the link in my biog. :)
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A Bruce-y Bonus. Learn to stand up from the ground without using your hands
This is supposed to be an indicator of longevity. A few months ago I was hopeless. I could barely get up from a yoga block. But now I can do it. Here’s the proof.
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Tee hee.
There he goes again. Last night on the Bank of England.
Niche.
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2. Avoid Seed Oils
Vegetable oil, sunflower oil, rapeseed oil, canola oil, palm oil - all that stuff. They were invented for industry, have made their way into food supply & are poison.
#seedoils
are in everything. Assume what you are eating contains them. Only eat when you have
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Any Celts out there on the march need to get with the programme and take down Oliver Cromwell
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Looks like our caped crusader paid another visit to the Bank of England last night.
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1 Fast
Do the 5:2 diet. It takes effort, but it works. It is the single most effective thing you can do to lose weight. Plus it brings mental clarity too. Watch videos, listen to podcasts, read, indoctrinate yourself, then do it. After a while, you look forward it.
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Hahahahahaha. On the Houses of Parliament last night
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6. Cider vinegar
It’s better for you than Ozempic. It’s cheaper than Ozempic and it reduces your appetite. Have a shot of
#cidervinegar
every day. More here on the Power of Cider Vinegar here:
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In hindsight, maybe we should have just let Hitler win
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We have many things to be proud of in the UK, not least our tax code which at over 10 million words is the longest and most convoluted in the world.
(As
#HMRC
is trending).
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We can get
#17million
to Number One
Buy the single at Amazon
or iTunes
Please share far and wide
I'll donate any profits to the Maggie Oliver Foundation (for victims of child rape gangs)
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Tories have gone. Sh*t show continues. It's almost as though our entire system of government is about a hundred years out of date and unfit for purpose
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I’d love to say it was deliberate, but it has been accidental. I was overweight, started fasting to lose weight, developed other habits & it spiralled from there. It is not 1 thing that has done it, but the aggregation of lots of things.
In case of use, I share them here
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"Boris Johnson is just a fat Tony Blair" splayed across the Houses of Parliament last night.
Buahahahaha!
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The worst thing about this is that the Tories now probably think they are doing a really good job
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I hope this helps. Don’t try to do everything at once. You can’t. Baby steps. This is a case of the power of incremental gains and compounding.
Diet is the most important thing. If you don’t get that right, it doesn’t matter how much you exercise. You can’t outrun a bad diet.
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The vigilante strikes again.
Last night on the Bank of England
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10. Two meals a day
Do you really need three? Skip meals on non fasting days. Breakfast is the easiest to miss. Have an early lunch, and go to bed early. Plenty of yoghurt, meat & fish. And no seed oils.
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I've made this available as a single so that we can get it into the charts, ideally the Top Ten, in time for the Starmer's win next week, and thus have it played on the radio etc.
Would be funny 😄
Links below.
Pls RT and spread the word.
I thank you.
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With local elections here in the UK today, this important message was projected onto the BBC last night.
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Society may be falling apart but some of us are upholding standards
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4. Get a Whoop
I got one because to improve sleeping habits.
#Sleep
is the new exercise ;) The unintended consequence was that my alcohol consumption has gone from most days to almost zero. It’s not just the calories in alcohol, it’s the bad decisions you make after drinking,
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11. 15 Minutes of Sun
First thing I do every morning is drink a pint of water, make myself a cup of tea, then go & sit in the garden for 15 minutes and get some sunshine. This regulates circadian rhythms. I have been getting to sleep much more easily since I did this. Even if
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5. Have a partner you want to look good for
I had one - now sadly no more - but I’m sure it made me generally up my physical game. She was also extremely health-conscious and got me into all sorts of good habits. It helps to have a partner with whom you can eat well and exercise
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I’m following a new training regime to improve my running speed and raise my heart rate. It’s incredibly effective. You just jog around South London with one these on.
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Dear
@RishiSunak
Please don't prop the arts with your funny money. They're shite, they crony-ist and up-their-own-arse enough as it is, they don't need to pushed up any further.
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I tell you that William the Conqueror's got a lot to answer for. What he did to my ancestors.
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Let's get
#17million
to No. 1. It can happen if enough people buy the single.
Buy at Amazon
iTunes
Please share far & wide. I'll donate profits to Maggie Oliver Foundation for victims of child rape gangs
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I have recently taken to keeping a gratitude diary, and today I would like to express my profound thanks to the gods of comedy for the opportunities the next five years are going to create. A golden age of satire lies ahead.
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What’s the economic term for bollocks?
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Of course lockdowns are popular and of course people polled want them to go on. You’re paying them furlough. If the economic truth of shut down economies were actually felt in people’s pockets, then attitudes would be very different.
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Right, I've sorted Britain.
While at it, I did Ireland too.
We split UK into 18 autonomous regions - an octodecarchy, so to speak- plus another 4 for Ireland. Each region decides what it wants to be: left/right, authoritarian/libertarian, high/low tax, multi/mono-cultural etc
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🚨 NEW VERSE OF THE SONG ALERT 🚨
Maybe Starmer’s worse than we all feared... 🎶
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What a fun night singing for my supper. An evening I will never forget. Thanks
@Nigel_Farage
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If you still have faith in government and government systems after Corona, lord help you.
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7 Supplements
I’ve gone from taking zero supplements to taking so many I don’t know which ones are actually doing good. Am pretty sure Tongkat Ali and Fadogia Agrestis have had a big impact. I sometimes think the act of taking supplements is as effective as the actual
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Paypal has shut down
@SpeechUnion
's account, presumably under pressure from ideological enemies, as it did Wikileaks and many others. FSU not the first and won't be the last.
Can you see what will happen with programmable money - central bank digital currencies, CBDCs?
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Longer term, why would anyone start a business, risk capital and all the other things you risk when start out, now the precedent is set that government can shut things down when it sees fit?
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Well, as someone who writes satirical songs, I for one am looking forward to the next five years. Something of a golden age lies ahead.
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