Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
Followers
6K
Following
53K
Statuses
27K
When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.
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RT @Quartzjixler: She was rare - like a leftist on Bluesky who actually knows what "fascism" means.
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RT @orangecrushable: I’m not one for stereotypes, but I’m starting to think I am a bad driver.
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All I know about baking a cake: You’ll need an oven and, later, a bunch of frosting.
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RT @juneohara65: That sleek candy cane weaponry around the perimeter of the cake has just raised the stakes in this very tense Christmas ba…
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RT @DamonHunzeker: Isn't it kind of weird that people throw babies in the air? I mean, I don't have kids, but I could imagine missing one t…
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RT @JoePontillo: Saw a road sign last night that just said "Children" and I've never felt more haunted and terrified.
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My friend's baby cries when I pick him up. I guess babies don't like seeing their dads get picked up.
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You, sir, are a sub-optimal demonologist and an even worse tree trimmer.
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RT @RickAaron: Will I understand Super Bowl LIX if I haven’t seen any of the pre-cunnilingus Super Bowls?
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I’ve been watching this supposedly super bull all afternoon. He is, at best, adequate.
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I was a fan until he neglected the Oxford comma (see below) just like a typical rock star.
Holy Fuck! It’s February 9th! The highest of the high holy days on the Underground Garage calendar! The day hope was born! The Beatles played the Ed Sullivan show and suddenly all of us misfits, freaks and outcasts had a future! It was a longshot, but I hope we’ve done you proud!
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