Jimmy the Cla(R)et ⚛️🧪
@ClaretFPL
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Following
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Fantasy Football Craic dealer. Once bench boosted for 5 points. Euro 2024 @UltiChamps league:
Burnley, England
Joined July 2018
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Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
If you're anything like me and got your new energy bill, there's some stress right now or maybe something a bit worse.
Don't keep it bottled up, there's someone out there who'll listen
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All FPL managers have the same 38 gameweeks, if you just want a top 10K rank enough you can achieve it
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@OfficialVizeh
Mate, I work with abuse survivors for a living. I'm not saying owt about Mason either way in this tweet but this isn't an uncommon thing to happen after abuse. It doesn't prove anything either way
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WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE CLARET!!!
FPL dad's club, got room for another member?
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Look
@OfficialFPL
, Ronaldo is 36. Phil Bardsley is 36. You priced him at 4.0M so it'd only be fair to do the same to Big Ron yh?
#FPL
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She's back in hospital struggling with her breathing. If you're the praying type, please do. If you're not, please do what you do 💚
Feel absolutely ruined, I just wish my family was healthy
When she started clapping along at bits of good play, suddenly the result didn't matter. So blessed
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Time for some tough love.
If you captained Salah over Cornet, you have to own it. This wasn’t bad luck, this was always a very real possibility. You knew the risk, you went against the best player in the Prem and you were punished.
Learn and come back a better manager in GW11!
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I'm looking for someone to get involved with me to take legal action against
@OfficialFPL
It will be a really good opportunity for any solicitors or aspiring shitposters out there with great exposure for your work
It will only cost you a small fee. Send DM if interested!
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Friendly reminder that Pukki has as many Premier League goals as Kane and Ronaldo combined this season
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After a difficult week of FPL, I was reminded that there truly are more important things in life when my daughter said her first words!
Unfortunately they were 'Havertz blank' so we move
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Yesterday morning, the NHS saved my daughter's life.
Nothing your read in the news, nothing you hear down the local, nothing your virus-expert-auntie posts on Facebook matters when you see your little girl breathe on her own again for the first time
What I didn't see was a bill
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Pro tip, don't make your FPL transfers early this GW incase WW3 starts and we all die. You'll feel really foolish then
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Last time I was here I felt so overwhelmed with stress and pressure of trying to handle my situation. I rang
@samaritans
who didnt judge. A year and a bit later I dont dread getting up, I feel content and I can manage stress
It gets better, youre worth the hard work it'll take
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Thoughts and prayers with the virus at this difficult time 🙏
Burnley Football Club can confirm manager Sean Dyche will miss this weekend's FA Cup third round tie at home to Huddersfield Town, after testing positive for Covid-19 on Tuesday. Sean will now follow the mandatory self-isolation protocols.
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People TCing Salah in DGW26 actually measure out rice and pasta portions
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Here we go!
Jimmy and Mrs C are delighted to announce the permenant signing of a little baby Claret
She said, 'Im delighted to be a part of the Clarets family and cant wait to start getting to work on and off the pitch'
Her wage packet is currently uncertain
#twitterclarets
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Pro FPL Tip:
If you have lots of COVID cancellations, don't take hits! Simply delete your team instead
#FPL
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Someone in the church WhatsApp group commented that 'we need to keep Jesus central and all will be well'. I replied that I preferred him on the right, playing off Bernardo Silva. She didn't laugh 🙃🔫
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Don't let Broja's disappointing FPL returns distract you from the fact that Humpty Dumpty was never actually described as an egg
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Man, Salah is making it really hard to justify that price tag when Mane is 3M less and just as useless
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Captained Bruno and inside the top 5K but I also have to live in Burnley so swings and roundabouts innit
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There is no point asking for 'thoughts?' on your GW1 team because I'll just tell you to make it more like my team
We all have the exact same choices and options rn now and obviously I think mine are best or I wouldnt pick them.
#FPL
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FPL EXPERTS HATE HIM!
FIND OUT HOW THIS ONE FPL MANAGER MANAGED TO FIELD AN ENTIRE ELEVEN PLAYERS IN GW18 WITH THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK!
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Hope they get Benjamin's injury on ice quickly so it can chillwell
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Dyche keeping Burnley up despite only spending 1M on Dale Stephens.
Manager of the season surely
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Good morning to everyone except Jamaal Lascelles and Jacob Murphy
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Never been gutted to go back to work before, I love my job and know I'm very lucky to be in that position
But after 10 days nonstop with my little girl where she's started to smile, laugh and play with toys, Id happily bin off the power lifestyle to spend all my time with her 😍
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Pro tip:
The easiest way to solve your Lukaku headache is to delete your FPL team
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🚨
#FPL
EXPERT LIFE HACK 🚨
When playing your Free Hit chip, make sure to make all your moves now and then activate the chip AFTER the deadline. That way you get lots of transfers two weeks in a row, DOUBLING your flexibility
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Happy father's Day to me 😍
Up The little Clarets, up the Jimmy Mac Upper
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Can we put some respect on Pieters name too, going wherever Dyche tells him, no fuss, no drama, just rock solid commitment and work rate 💪
#twitterclarets
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@cantsey
She watches Mary Poppins on reverse so the film ends with the bank taking the house
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Salah captainers measure their rice out properly and cook their meals on the correct oven temperature
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@OfficialVizeh
Harry Potter, easy. It's definitely the most over rated series of all time, it's literally just OK
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If Dyche becomes the Spurs manager I'll buy everyone who likes this tweet a follower
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@BurnleyOfficial
Thank you for everything Dyche, for Europe, for the belief, for the 23 undefeated, for everything
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Send me a picture of your most recent FPL draft and I'll rate it with a picture of Dyche and absolutely no constructive feedback whatsoever
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⚠️ MAN CITY TEAM NEWS ⚠️
Erling Haaland pictured in early morning training, looking fit and sharp to play
#FPL
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Hearing reports that Mo Salah hasn't travelled to Selhurst Park with the Man City Squad today. More as I have it
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Semi-regular reminder that you're not maverick or a free thinker or a radical if you pick different characters to everyone else on a free game of fancy online bingo. It's FPL, not The Art Of War
#FPL
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My FPL rank history:
17/18: 1
18/19: 1
19/20: 2
20/21: 1
211/22: currently 60K
Just trust me on these, no need to verify
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The fact she feels she has to go this public with something so incredibly private and vulnerable, just to be taken seriously, shows one of the biggest problems survivors face
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Unpopular opinion:
Salah will be the best captaincy option in DGW26 and you might even want to triple captain him
#FPL
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Got to be Foden, he's always being used as a sub
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Salah has blanked in 100% of his last game. Time to get rid
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'PHONE CASES, SNAPBACKS,
MAN CITY VS SOUTHAMPTON TICKETS'
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VILLA TEAM NEWS
I didn't see Coutinho arrive at Turf Moor today but that could be because I'm in Blackpool
#FPL
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With Bamford confirmed out and a fit Antonio playing against Leeds, that seems like the obvious move.
BUT
Let me share with you a few things which may convince you to look at Chris Wood instead 👇
#FPL
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Unless your club mascot has launched a member of the armed forces, pipe down
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In Park View and a lady just shouted 'Is anyone single, I'm proper desperate'.
Never change Burnley
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Every time Son scores, an 'FPL Expert' account loses its wings
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🚨 Genuine mental health FPL advice 🚨
Last season a lot of people felt worse when playing FPL not better.
So PLEASE, do not tie your sense of self-worth to your FPL results.
No-one will say they are, but it's easy to do, especially if in the Twitter community
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All you saying
#SayNoToLockdown
and saying 'just lock down the vulnerable' will be the exact same ones complaining when you can't see your nan.
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Taking a week or so off before starting FPL proper.
Just noticed I'm at 4847 followers so I'd really appreciate it if you could like and RT this tweet to help me get me down to 4000 by the time I'm back 🙏🙏🙏
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So it turns out that the only place in Brexit Britain without a beef shortage is FPL Twitter
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All these allegations sound quite serious but you have to ask why Paul Pogba didn't do more to provide defensive support
#MeghanandHarryonOprah
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Just heard it confirmed from my Manchester City source (ManUFan69) that the game against Leeds is CANCELLED. Info was corroborated by RampantRonaldo and FergieFangirl2 so you know it's legit
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We had this last year.
Some weeks Sterling will get a bagful, some weeks Aguero will go mental.
Take a breath, it's gonna be OK 👌
#FPL
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This was our team that lost to Fulham in 2018. Play spot the difference with the team that played today then ask why we're struggling
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@valyeeet
@Art_of_Football
CAUSE IT'S EEEEEEEEEASY WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT'S DONE
YOU CANT STOP NOW
IT'S ALREADY BEGUN
YOU FEEEEEEEEEEL IT RUNNING THROUGH YOUR BONES
AND YOU JERK IT OUT
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Relegation seems certain for Sheffield United. If they can't even beat Liverpool, what hope is there?
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Thank you for your prayers and well wishes everyone, she's back home with a medication plan. God is good and I'm so grateful to the NHS, yet again their staff and scientists are saviours.
Do not take this wonderful institution for granted, it is being stolen from us 💙
She's back in hospital struggling with her breathing. If you're the praying type, please do. If you're not, please do what you do 💚
Feel absolutely ruined, I just wish my family was healthy
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@FplDinosaur
@MarcusRashford
Alright you absolute weapon, they sell their phone, get £100/£200, can't apply for jobs. Now what. Why not sell their hob as well? And their front door, that could raise a tenner. I've heard kidneys go for a fair bit too.
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CANT BELIEVE that Havertz hasn't scored yet 😤 absolute FRAUD 🤬🤬 FPL Twitter convinced me he'd be gaurenteed three goals against Norwich and he hasn't even had a shot on target this Gameweek yet 😡 Trolled again, why do bad things happen to good people smh 😩
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This was fun, lets do it again:
What's your gaming take that gets this reaction?
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-36!!! 😱😱
Is the current temperature in Antarctica
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The time is now
Contact your MP tonight
'APN news reports that the gvt is considering the 50+1 rule for club ownership and using legislation to implement it. I am asking that you pressure the government and the prime minister to see this rule introduced'
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