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CHS Advanced Basketball Profile
CHS Advanced Basketball

@ChsAdvanced

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Where legends are made and ankles come to die.

Joined August 2019
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 month
Just a reminder to all CHSAB Alumni, members of CHSAB Nation, and all the media outlets that have covered us over the years, we have officially made the switch over to Instagram. It’s been a great run with X but we have simply grown apart.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Friday's Hoop's Action was postponed to allow Ismail and Maley to call a truce and join forces to take down Patel and Sule in Spikeball. It was reminiscent of when Apollo Creed and Rocky teamed up to take down Clubber Lang. It even had a cheesy '80s double high 5.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Mr. Maley has been put in the doghouse until further notice by his wife for “tweeting about your gym class while we were trying to enjoy our dinner.” The commish hasn’t been in the doghouse since the infamous ‘12 Sharpieleftinpocketswashingmachine-Gate Scandal.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
3 years
Undefeated all year in One-On-One, Sally D finally meets his match and loses to Mr. Maley in a 11-0 nail biter. If it’s any consolation Sal won the trash talking battle. #thelegendhasfallen
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
It must be teacher appreciation week because instead of making a game winning 3 at the buzzer, Jessie Ismail airballed and cooled off Mr. Maley in the muggy North Gym with a nice breeze. How thoughtful.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
What do you notice about this picture? That’s right. Every player on the floor is dressed and properly prepared for class. The CHSAB...where amazing happens.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
11 months
The Commish dresses up as his favorite rapper/baller FTY Bizzie (aka Troy Patton) for Halloween. While they are nearly identical in appearance, The Commish was not able to match Troy’s handle, shot making, and defensive prowess on the court today. Very few could do that.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Saw Ms. Schweinebraten running the pacer with her class today and performing quite well. GMs should take notice and sign her to 10-day special guest appearance contract. Word is that besides being able to pace, she can ball as well. @ConantCoedCheer
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Latest Addition to US Weekly’s “Who Wore it Best?” from last Thursday’s “Dress Like Your Hero Day” in the CHSAB. 99.9% of readers went with Hugo. Maley’s Wife comprised the .1% that went with Maley.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Congrats to one of the most loyal followers and tweet likers of the CHSAB @MattMarks6 . We recognize your fanmanship and applaud your efforts on the hard courts. Good luck the rest of the way!
@ConantBusEd
Conant Business Ed Department
1 year
Congratulations to Coach ⁦ @MattMarks6 ⁩ and ⁦ @ConantTennis ⁩ for caputuring the MSL West Division for the first time in ⁦ @ConantCougars ⁩ history!!!! Next up: the Conference title!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 ⁦ @conantathletics
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Jake Parpet proves once again why he is one of the best GMs in the business by answering the challenge of The Commish. The Real Big 3 (Blake Shaw, Jake Parpet, and Alec Johnson) are coming off a Friday title and are hungry for more.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Huge news in the CHSAB. The GM that sends in a HOCO group picture to the league office with the most CHSAB members gets the 1st Pick in Monday’s draft. What an unbelievable turn of events. Some speculate that The Commish is bluffing and he will pick 1st yet again.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 months
Seniors last day. We had to do a jersey exchange between one of the all-time greats, Twon Magee, and the Commish. Whether they were championship teammates or bitter rivals, there was always a healthy level of mutual respect.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
4 years
Was curious as to why this superstar had not been submitting any e-learning work. Now it all makes sense. I expect nothing less from this future first ballot Hall of Famer, always working on his game. It’s tough to check schoology when you eat, sleep, and breathe CHSAB hoops.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Saying this right now, Harjap Singh is going to take this league by storm. Years ago, we had Linsanity. Mark my words, at some point this year, we will have Singh-Sanity.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Yep. You’re seeing that right. Sean Martin (pictured right) with the 3-Peat (3 uniform wears in a row). He even inspired his buddy Kyle Foley (pictured left) to actually wear his uniform as well today.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Sean Martin did the unthinkable, nay unimaginable, nay unfathomable, he actually donned his PE uniform for the first time this semester. Can he do it again? We will see this afternoon.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
6 months
Don’t know how this happened, but all footage from the 1st game of 3 game series today between Staff and the CHSAB All-Stars was mysteriously lost EXCEPT for this hilarious rejection of Twon Magee by Mr. Holt. Twon must not have read the scouting report!
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
The CHSAB would formally like to thank TNT for broadcasting games in the North Gym. Check out the nice intro to the pre-game show of some of the league’s rising stars.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Andrew Bittner was shocked that Mr. Maley lived up to his word and named his 3rd Born after whoever led the CHSAB in assists during 1st Semester action. Baby Andy could have just as easily been named Schoology Code Maley as the Code nearly captured the assist crown.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
11 months
A tear came to The Commish’s eye when he saw his childhood hero represented in his class today. Nick Bradley automatically became a better shooter, passer, and rebounder when he donned Larry Legend’s jersey. Automatic 33,000 extra credit points.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
4 months
Once heard a coach of mine say “When your best players are good guys and leaders, success is much more likely.” Great to see that proven true by CHSAB greats Parpet, Gale, Kirchner and the rest of @Conant_Baseball . Amazing accomplishment. Congratulations!
@Conant_Baseball
⚾️Conant Baseball ⚾️
4 months
Cougars (29-7) win their 13th in a row and are headed to the state finals in Joliet! Bryce Loeger a CG 9K performance. Matt Maize 3-3 and big RBIs from Isaiah Rhodes, Logan Gale, and Alex Martinez. Defense stellar. Final Four starts Friday night vs. York.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
After being picked up off waivers from Mr. Pena’s class earlier in the week, Jake Parpet has impressed in his limited time in period 7. If he doesn’t decide to be a GM, league sources are saying he is most likely the first overall pick in the lottery.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
4 years
Going through open gym and CHSAB withdrawal. Had to take it out on my kids. #boredathome
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Khrish Meta achieved the pinnacle of basketball excellence today by “making Coach Maley fall.” While neither he or his teammates scored as a result, that’s not what’s important. Any astute player would much rather make someone fall than score or win for that matter.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
This is just flat out funny. Well done by Free Agent Kyle Foley. “The Decision part 2” is a must watch for fans of the CHSAB. Like Lebron, it will send shockwaves throughout the league.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Who is your favorite basketball player? Steph Curry, Lebron James, or Anay Patel? Apparently the Legend of the CHSAB has reached the Pre-School Ranks. Remember guys, you are role models to children all across the country. Superstardom comes with great responsibility
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
We may have to organize a field trip for the @2020_crazies to attend 6th and 7th Period Advanced Basketball for a day. You want excitement? Look no further than a George Patelis jump shot, a Hugo Leyva crossover, or a Andrew Bittner no look bounce pass. Pandemonium.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 months
Easy team to root for with a lot of high character guys. Cougar Way Lesson of the Day: When you are a good guy, people pull for you to do well. Congrats to CHSAB All-Stars Parpet, Gale, and Kirchner.
@Conant_Baseball
⚾️Conant Baseball ⚾️
5 months
Cougars (23-7) are MSL Champions with a 5-0 at Buffalo Grove. Bryce Loeger tosses a 1-hitter with 9Ks. Cooper Hanson had 2 hits and a big RBI 2B. Josh Barnett a big 2-out RBI in the 2nd. Cougars travel to Addison Trail Monday to conclude the regular season.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Good Luck to all CHSABers on their upcoming finals. Judging by their superior Basketball IQs, they shouldn’t need too much luck.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
A player that continues to impress in 7th period is Logan Abraham. He plays way bigger than he is, grabbing boards and finishing around the rim. Combine that with his ability to shoot the long ball and you have one of the more versatile players in the CHSAB.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Welcome Back to Rachel Kutella who was on a brief hiatus from the CHSAB while on the book tour for her recent publication “A Tale of Two Classes: Why I used to Dislike Mr. Maley and Why I now dislike him a little less.”
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
The Commish hopes by the 2035-2036 season that his daughter Meg will be able to follow in the footsteps of the female CHSAB trailblazers of yesteryear like Rachel Kutella and Ashanti Young.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
4 years
This Just In...
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Mr. Melone made a strong case for “Best Special Guest Appearance of the Year Award” by beating Mark La Rossa 72 to 3 in One on One. Former front runners for the award, Mr. Lundquist and Amanda Santangelo, could not be reached for comment.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Congrats to Ms. Pancratz on her nuptials yesterday. The former SHSAB legend and HOFamer will hopefully be making a special guest appearance this year. While she coaches volleyball, hoopin is in her blood and she’s ready to take everyone in the CHSAB to school.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Throwback to Ancient Rome and Caesar’s own Adv. 🏀 Class. Not a whole lot has changed in over 2000 years. The only major difference is that Caesar used a carrier pigeon as his medium to deliver his recaps and satire. Also Maley is referred to as commissioner and not emperor.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Thomas Yoo caught a bad case of becarefulwhatYOOwishfor-itis when he made a special guest appearance during 6th period and demanded to guard Coach Maley at once. Two possessions later, he demanded not to guard Coach Maley at once.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
8 months
Jake Parpet had a great suggestion for a field trip. “Mr. Maley, we should go build some houses with all the bricks that these guys are shooting.” He proceeded to badly miss his next 5 shots. #BasketballKarma
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
That’s right, in the front right is none other than The Schoology Code himself, Matt Ilnyckyj. The former All-CHSAB team member is now working on Stacey King’s Podcast. Congrats to the Code.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
It’s a sad day for the Commish when seniors have exhausted all of their eligibility in the CHSAB. Those guys have given everything to the league and will never be forgotten. Looking forward to following their intramural basketball careers at their respective colleges.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Noah Manikis has announced via his SnapStory that he has severed ties with Adidas and signed a multi-year deal with The Jordan Brand. Manikis cited how he modeled his game after Michael Jordan so it was only a matter of time before he made the jump. Adidas stock has plummeted.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
In other completely unrelated news, all 76 members of the CHSAB are in counseling office trying to drop the class.
@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Attention: We will now use heart rate monitors during Advanced Basketball. If you don’t meet your target heart rate goal, your team loses.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
League Mandate: All uniforms must be washed over long weekend. Using it as a competitive advantage so “no one will want to guard me” is no longer a viable excuse.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
11 months
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
The Schoology Code's GM and League MVP Stock has skyrocketed with an amazing CHSAB Promo Video. Outstanding work. I smell an Oscar coming your way.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
In years past, this man was a non-dressing, non-participant. Now he sheds blood, sweat, and tears for CHS Advanced Basketball.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
In other news, Mrs. Commish (Commish Maley’s Wife) has tried to ban CHSAB Twitter from the household on weekends. The Commish responded by trying to ban Book Club from the household on weekdays. Looks like the two are at a stalemate. Let the tweeting continue.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Basketball is important, but at some point your CHSAB career will come to an end. What then? You never know, a CHSAB Alum may save the world one day...
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Tyler Ryan proved today that he is a front runner for the “best player in the CHSAB with a last name that could moonlight as a first name” award. The Schoology Code proved that he will still finish dead last in that category.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 months
Sai “The Atrium” Kodali is also a CHSAB legend, known for the range on his J. He still needs to learn the difference between an elbow and an arm bar, but that’s what college is for I guess.
@ConantBusEd
Conant Business Ed Department
5 months
#cantstopwontstop with the recognitions! #Congratulations to Sai, who earned a College and Career Pathway Endorsement in Finance and Business Services! 🤩📷 #CCPE #BusEdu #CougarPride #Thisis211 @ConantCougars ⁩ ⁦ @HSDistrict211 ⁩ ⁦ @ISBEnews
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Adam Hanash doesn’t want to be tweeted about today so we won’t tweet about Adam Hanash. We will respect Adam Hanash’s wishes.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 months
He also had an incredible 2-Year Run in the CHSAB with multiple championships and a couple of MVPs on his resume. Glory is not given, it’s earned. Gale has certainly earned it. That said, he never could quite figure out how to stop The Commish in the low post.
@Conant_Baseball
⚾️Conant Baseball ⚾️
5 months
Senior Spotlight: Logan Gale Three year starter CF/P Logan Gale has produced in huge moments for the Cougars. His work ethic is second to none and his light hearted humor keeps our team relaxed. Logan will attend Parkland Community College and play baseball and study business.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
A historic ruling by the Commish. Tay Barfield WILL BE allowed to relinquish his role as GM to another player on his team and subsequently be traded. This is the first time in league history that this has been done. The CHSAB...where challenging the status quo happens.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Mr. Maley came down with a case of DevonEllisitis today by missing a couple of easy dunk attempts. It must have been contagious at morning open gym. Luckily, Maley knows the cure...laying the ball in the basket.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Someone today showed me an Instagram post that said “It’s not the NBA Finals, it’s PE.” That person clearly gets it. The CHSAB title is WAY more important than the NBA finals. Wait that’s not what they meant? Never mind, they know nothing.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Congrats to George Patelis for being accepted to Kansas. They were in awe of his CHSAB resume: 2 Time All-Star, a Defense POY, and a GM of the year award in 2017. “Anyone that has that much success in the CHSAB, we need to be a Jayhawk.”- Director of Admissions
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
The good basketballs are being brought out today. No more blaming any airballs or bricks on a poorly inflated ball. The CHSAB....where accountability happens.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Yesterday Daanvir Heer was extremely critical of Commish Maley’s timekeeping on his own buzzer beating 3. We sent the video footage to CHSAB headquarters in New York and they ruled that Heer was dead wrong. The Commish was as accurate as a stop-watch. 5-4-3-2-1
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Rumor has it that Mr. @JimmyLundquist is making a special guest free agent appearance. Other top teacher free agent prospects @trstrau , @ConantSoftball @CoachPancratz , Coach Trimarco, and Mr. Janus (defensive specialist).
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
ESPN’s “A Fraled State” has taken a new twist as Mark Frale is now The King of Conant. “We didn’t want Mark to leave, but Tucc promised him a larger media market to promote his brand. It paid off For him. Our organization is happy for Mark. Tucc on the other hand....”- Maley
@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
ESPN 30 for 30 Film “A Fraled State” premieres on Wednesday. The documentary delves into what caused all the bad blood between Mr. Donatucci and Maley: The shady transfer of CHSAB legend Mark Frale from Advanced Basketball to Tucc’s Block Class second semester last year.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
4 years
CHSAB may have to start doing digital zoom H-O-R-S-E games. Potential Rd.1 Matchups: Ismail vs. Hanash, Angelos vs. The Code, Volkman vs. Mr. Lundquist, Patel vs. Sule, Bittner vs. Maley, Forte vs. Jmac, Harris vs. Armstrong, Gorman vs. Butler, and Mehta vs. Sniegowski.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
In the absence of CHSAB league play, you have two options to receive full credit. #1 Play one virtual game a day on CHSAB2K. #2 Write a 15 page research paper titled “Why I should have chosen option 1.”
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Supposedly Neil Thakkar had this year’s first in-game dunk during 7th period yesterday. Word is, he has spent all day today searching the Team Rooms, asking the APs if he could see the North Gym footage for yesterday around 2:17PM. Unfortunately, his search has come up empty.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Mr. James Lundquist @JimmyLundquist made a special guest appearance today to check out the talent in this year’s CHSAB. A lot of his students were talking trash to him. Bad idea considering Lundquist controls their grade in his class and has the ability to give them buckets.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Omarion Lumpkin wanted me to tweet that he had twenty today for Team Maley, instead I will tweet about how his team won every game by 10 plus points. The CHSAB...where the WE is greater than ME.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Angelo Colletta, Taher Alajlouni, and Dan Broeker continue to impress, finishing with a win on the top court today. Here’s some video evidence of Broeker channeling his inner-Kevin McHale and up-and-undering his way to two points.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
This may actually be possible to arrange one day during morning basketball as long as we get approval from Commissioners Sherko and Pena. They run a tight ship, but they also love good basketball, so I’m sure they’ll allow it.
@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
If there were an All-Star Game between Period 5 and Period 7, who would win?
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
For next week’s final (99% of your grade), come prepared with your best trash talk for the following situations: blocking an opponent’s shot, making someone fall, hitting a 3 with someone guarding you, and your best celebration dance after hitting a game winner over Maley.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
With the regular season almost here, it’s important to note for all the rookies that “breaking someone’s ankles” or “putting someone on skates” are both worth zero points. As CHSAB legend Brian Bullon once said “Don’t be the guy with a million dollar move but a 10 cent finish.”
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
There has been some criticism from the CHSAB faithful about the lack of tweets lately. The official response of this Twitter handle is that players need to up their games and do more tweetable things during class.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Kyle Blakely may have had the play of the season today. He drove baseline on the Commish, jumped from the left side, hung in the air, double-pumped, and spun the ball in off the glass. Many pundits were comparing it to Jordan lay-up below. Quite frankly, it was better.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Efe Ozturk is a hidden gym in the CHSAB. He was picked up at the semester without a whole lot of fanfare. The man can flat out score from all three levels. He does so without forcing the issue and within the framework of the team. His GM should build around him.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
This just in, Dhrumil Patel has been fined by Commissioner Maley for not speaking to the media after Wednesday’s games. Patel’s excuse of “I had an AP Calculus Test” did not justify skipping Wednesday’s presser according to league discipline office spokesperson Robbie Blackburn.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
To add insult to injury, when The Commish got home and offered shooting advice to his son, he was denied. “Dad, us 2nd graders were following along on Twitter today. I think I’d rather listen to someone with a little more expertise. Could you maybe introduce me to Neel Modi?
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Through the platform of the CHSAB, in one year, Mr. Maley has gone from Rachel Kutella’s arch nemesis and choice for “Teacher that I appreciate the least” award to her 2020 selection for @ConantCougarGBB teacher appreciation night. The CHSAB....where miracles happen.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Captains are celebrating because their chances of winning a title have skyrocketed. “You never want to see a fellow superstar go down with an injury, that said I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved that I didn’t have to guard the Jolly Green Giant every day.” - Jessie Ismail
@trstrau
Todd Strauch
5 years
According to media reports, @CoachJimMaley is under concussion protocol. If you see him walking around today with sunglasses, headphones or sleeping in the office, just know this is a normal day. @ChsAdvanced
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
“We will not be suspending Kodali for his comments. In fact, I wear that immaturity Sai speaks of as a badge of honor. As a 40-year-old with 4 kids and a mortgage, sometimes there’s times in life where you want to act like a kid again. Today was one of those times.” - Commish
@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
After a pivotal late-game And-1 over Sai Kodali, The Commish let out a celebratory scream in Kodali’s direction. Presumably this was in response to FoulGate from a couple of weeks ago. Sai responded by saying “that was very immature.” Is there disciplinary action forthcoming?
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
This is outstanding. It will definitely teach a valuable lesson on Monday of what happens when you awaken a sleeping giant. #softskills
@Viraj_S12
Viraj Sule
5 years
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
We almost pitched the first ever Perfect Game in CHSAB history during 5th period. Uniform tops worn, athletic bottoms worn, and shockingly not a croc to be found. Unfortunately we ended up one student short of achieving the unthinkable.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
There’s only one logical reason why Will Filby dropped to the 3rd round in the draft. GMs must be allergic to winning. The guy is a pest defensively and comes up with every loose ball. He’s the type of guy that you hate to play against. Think Marcus Smart minus the green hair.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
I’m hearing from sources around the league that the cauliflower ear did play a factor. Scouts had done their homework and knew about the 8th grade prowess, however the ears were too much to overcome. It proves that sometimes GMs get bad advice from their scouting departments.
@JasonSherko
Jason Sherko
2 years
@ChsAdvanced unfortunately the wrestling ears may have been to intimidating as they decided to fill the lineup from elsewhere. If they only knew this 1998 8th grade St. Frances Holiday Tourny MVP could have helped keep the streak Unfortunately like all dynasty’s it came to an end
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
6 months
Getting this position will go down as her 2nd greatest achievement at Conant, right behind her Special Guest Commish appearance in the CHSAB. We couldn’t be happier for her and the gymnastics program. Get her entrance music ready!
@conantathletics
Conant Athletics
6 months
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Conant Spikeball Club, one of the CHSAB’s top sponsors, had a great first day today.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Breaking News: Anay Patel will grace the cover of CHSAB2K20, joining Mr. Todd Strauch (2K6) and Ms. Drewann Pancratz (2K9-Saxon) as the only people in building to have done so. Both Strauch (forgot how to Dougie) and Pancratz (One Tree Hill cancelled) fell victim to 2K curse.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Extremely disappointing news for all CHSABers and their fans, Wellness Department Chair @dcromerjr has removed Advanced Basketball from curriculum starting 2020-2021 school year, citing below average Pacer scores among its members.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Word on the street is @CoachPancratz is donating a giant basketball 🏆 to be awarded to this semester’s CHSAB champions. Like the Stanley Cup, each champion’s name will be etched on trophy for all of eternity and each player will be allowed to spend 24 hours with the trophy.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Does she want to be a princess? No. The Commish’s daughter has her sights set much higher.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
The Men of the CHSAB almost revolted when they found out that it was a Load Management Off-Day today in order to do the push-up test. Fortunately cooler heads prevailed and the players realized that they have it pretty good considering they get to hoop almost every day.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
After reading “Settling Disputes in Your Gym Class for Dummies” this weekend, The Commish decided to follow one of the books primary tenets when dealing with the Engregi-Qadri trade drama: “Always error on the side of the uniform wearer” (page 17). Sorry Shayan. Tough break.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Rishi Nayak has been drawing comparisons to CHSAB HOFamer Neil Thakkar. He can spread the floor with his ability to shoot the three and he has a great Thakkar-like one-dribble pull-up game.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
11 months
Sources are telling us that the Mayor of Hoffman Estates will name Oct. 24th “Will Filby Day” to commemorate Filby’s historic shooting display today for Team Maley. The ceremony will take place next year on 10/24 where Filby will be given a key to the city.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Sterling Williams had the block of the year today on a player who shall rename nameless due to the sheer nastiness of the block. Let’s just say his name rhymes with Baylen Jutler.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Awaiting the footage of Jessie Ismail making a game winner to beat Maley. Ismail plans to walk around school all year with an IPAD on his back with the video replaying in a constant loop. He already tweeted, snapped, insta’d, and Facebooked it to everyone he knows.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Special guest Commishes Sherko and Song will be in charge today. The Commish has a public speaking engagement at a sold-out conference in Split, Croatia titled “How to Use Twitter To Create a Somewhat Fictitious Basketball League for Your PE Class.”
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
The CHSAB is looking for an Intern to run our social media. Bachelor’s degree required, Masters preferred. While we won’t pay you a dime and you will work 16 hour days, you will however be given the invaluable opportunity to work with some of the world’s greatest athletes.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Nick Jones just DM’d the Conant Crier two words: “I’m Back”. Jones has missed the last two days of action, making him available as a free agent to the highest bidder. We’ve been told that his asking price is a Gatorade and a bag of flaming hots.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
Who will join the immortals of CHSAB lore? Jay Patel, Troy Evans, Kush (Forgot Last Name), Kahaan Motwani, and Nate Jones are lonely in the Hall of Fame.
@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
It’s 6:22 on Sunday Morning and as I’m driving the streets of Hoffman Estates, Schaumburg, and Elk Grove I’ve spotted multiple members of 6th and 7th periods getting shots up in their drive ways. CHSAB supremacy doesn’t happen by accident.
Tweet media one
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
He told The Commish as a sophomore that he was pretty good. Didn’t know that meant State Champ good. Congrats to a great kid. That’s amazing. CHSAB GMs will be trying to recruit him to the league in hopes that The State Title DNA will translate to a CHSAB ring.
@conantathletics
Conant Athletics
1 year
Congrats to Nicolas Simon IHSA Boys Golf State Champ!!!
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
5 years
The one day suspension of Commisioner (Maley) for conduct detrimental to the league was needed by all 6th hour teams. The atmosphere created by the interim commissioner (Cromer) allowed greater player expression and freedom which was easily seen in their play...
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
2 years
Aashir Patel’s game winning 3 pointer is what the casual CHSAB fans will remember. The die-hards will remember his Rodman-like dive for a loose ball just prior. Must have been the magic of his recently found PE shirt.
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@ChsAdvanced
CHS Advanced Basketball
1 year
Krishan Desai was screaming “I’m Lebron James” over and over again after leading his team to the top court. While their games and physiques are very similar, not sure Lebron ever hooped in a pair of flip flops.
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