BDSM can be an incredibly healing experience for trauma survivors, similar to therapy.
As a survivor of child abuse, I shouldn’t love impact play.
But I do - because *I* choose it and *I* own it.
#PDM2018
Um...
@StonewallInnNYC
denied a blind person entry due to their service dog, y’all.
Pride and queerness must be accessible. Us disabled people need our queer spaces too.
I’m so disappointed.
"In only eight, 15-minute episodes, a first for Netflix, the show tackles internalized ableism, queer disabled sexuality, sex work, gay monogamy, the exploitation of marginalized stories, Instagays, and more."
Gentle reminder that Buck Angel is truscum, doesn't believe nonbinary people exist/keep misgendering them, and actively participates in anti-trans work.
The racism here also shouldn't be overlooked.
Did you know Buck Angel outed Lana Wachowski to Rolling Stone when his wife left him for her?
He is also friends with Graham Lineham, famous brit transphobe, in addition to leaning hard into ableism, ageism, racism, and ironically TERFy ideology.
He is a shit head.
Reminder that
@coachella
is run by a transmisic, homomisic asshole - and too many people know it to ignore it for a fun music show.
Convince artists you like that your (should be) shared ethics are worth more than one show there.
Y’all Stonewall finally got their shit together in a good way.
They’ve apologized and will be offering an ADA training for bars and clubs in the area.
They’re also going to make donations via their charity to a disability org.
Being a disabled sex educator means trying to decide if a conference you'd otherwise like to attend will be accessible.
I'm so tired of this stuff.
Make your spaces scent-free.
Limit the amount of stairs.
Have accessibility contacts.
This is not hard.
Are you a sex educator or sex blogger? Want to get your writing and courses out there more?
Let’s talk!
Between my podcast, site, and chat (when it’s going), I have a lot of ability to help with exposure.
And I wanna use the privilege I have for good, ya know?
Actually, yes it can. You might want to read some research on the subject instead of coming at sex educators who know what we’re talking about.
And BDSM is not all about pain. The power differentials are honestly the biggest part.
I’m sorry, but Buck is not great.
He’s misgendered fellow trans people, then joked about it. He’s argued when other trans folx call him out.
He’s also an amazing asshole, following in the footsteps of Dan Savage’s racism, ableism, and bullshit.
Sadly, this isn’t just limited to the United States - and not necessarily limited to people who are officially married.
Some couples have to live apart. Some can’t live with friends.
It’s nauseating to know this is so common around the world.
Can we stop using phrases like "people who identify as transgender"?
Phrasing like that has a lot of transmisia behind it, and gives assholes the ability to 'identify' as helicopters, etc.
It's transgender people. Or trans people. That's their identity.
This is a clickbait headline.
The money is not specifically set aside to pay SWs. It's just that they're able to spend their monthly benefits on whatever they want.
And SW is legalized in The Netherlands.
That's it.
Don’t sit there and judge people who are asexual or demisexual or any other VALID sexual orientation.
You’re not the queer master. You don’t get to decide who is queer.
Get the fuck outta my timeline with your gatekeeping bullshit.
Idk how conferences think disabled people are gonna have $500 to drop to come and educate in their spaces.
[gif: Tina Belcher from Bob's Burgers looks left & right, saying "uuuhhhhhh"]
Okay, but I don't wanna see Ari get another fucking ally award after apparently having a good time with one of the biggest bigots and T E R F s out here, K?
Dear cis people,
You don't get to make jokes about nonbinary and trans identities, regardless of whomever in your life is trans.
No person in a position of privilege should be joking around about those who aren't.
If you want more conversations from marginalized groups?
You need to make sure we can actually attend.
I know, it's a revolutionary thought, but it's also common sense.
When sex toy companies & their CEOs treat disabled people like shit, it’s good to listen.
Distasteful Cockburger ads might not exist if people other than me were trying to hold Metis and Tantus responsible for continued bullshit.
[gif: Marilyn Monroe rolls her eyes]
In the past two weeks, I've
- Fully found my top energy
- Gotten fisted
- Gone on a date with an old girlfriend, who told me I'm much more confident, flirtatious, and queer domme now
- Met a new cis dude who doesn't seem awful?
- Had a LOT of sex
What is my life?
What are some of the myths about sex and disability/chronic illness/chronic pain that you hate?
I really dislike how people co-opt and assign ace culture to us.
It hurts all of us, but especially ace pals.
Chronic illness life is being exhausted, but not being able to get enough sleep
enough caffeine
enough anything
to recover your energy
And, at the same time, being wide awake at 11 PM watching playoff baseball when you ‘should’ be asleep
It’s okay to be a virgin.
Virginity is a social construct invented to control women and vagina owners.
Your worth does not depend on:
-Whether or not you’ve had sex
-How much sex you’ve had
-How many people you’ve had sex with, or
-What kind(s) of sex you’ve had
[consent violation, sexual assault,
#MeToo
]
With George Mendonsa's death, people are sharing that awful WWII kiss photo.
Here's why you shouldn't:
“It wasn't my choice to be kissed,” Friedman told Redmond. “The guy just came over and grabbed!”
STOP USING DISABLED PEOPLE AS YOUR ABORTION FODDER
You may not realize it but - le gasp - we exist and read this BS from both sides.
We don't need anymore reminders that y'all think less of or pity us or would rather die than end up like us.
Enough is enough.
Nothing sadder than an elitist ableist asshole missing out on the best sex he would ever get
-My queer ass that presented on disability today at an internationally recognized badass university in a wheelchair and had mind blowing sex last night
The more I encounter 'mainstream' sex educators, the more I see exclusion of so many of us -
Disabled and chronically ill people
Black and brown people
Asexual people
Queer and trans people
What a waste to have so much reach and exclude so much.
My new place is becoming the gayest
[textiles hanging on the wall, left to right - rainbow pride flag, Captain Marvel symbol with 'higher further faster gayer,' and the trans flag above a grey couch]
PS: accessibility means opting to smell like a human instead of a walking perfume store so that those of us with mast cell issues and other allergies can attend
He and Dan Savage consistently engage in harmful anti-queer and anti-trans rhetoric, despite their identities
Again, the same issues with racism, ableism, etc., still stand for the pair
They are NOT role models
I'm putting together a presentation about being queer and disabled. What would YOU want people to know?
Things you've been told by dates or on dating apps? Representation-related issues? It's all up for discussion!
(DMs are open.)
‘Tis the season for strobe light videos 🎵
Falalalalalalalala
But those can induce pain and seizures 🎶
Falalalalalalalala
Put a content note on that shit 🎵
Falalalalalalalala
That way we won’t throw up or worse 🎶
Falalalalalalalala
Blind and low-vision people exist in the sex ed world.
Use alt text. Describe images.
Don’t contribute to ableist ideals that everyone can ‘see’ your screenshots and pictures.
You know what else I dislike about the
@kinkly
list?
The inclusion of Dan Savage.
Dan has blocked multiple sex educators who try to call him in or out on his racism, ableism, bimisia, and far more.
That’s not someone who deserves praise. He isn’t part of our community.
A few years ago, I started ORCHIDS - the Organization for Research on Chronic Illness, Disability, and Sex.
Earlier this year, we got funding from The Effing Foundation to conduct our first research study!
Hi
I just met you
And this is rude
But how do you
Climb on your dude 🎶
Nah, but seriously, questions about if/how we have sex are so common - and so fucking rude
#AbledsAreWeird
Today in 1933, N*zis raided the libraries of the Institute of Sexology, a privately operated research space for studies of human sexuality. More than 20,000 books were destroyed, setting trans and queer research back decades.
I’d much rather see us lifting up black women getting into the weed business or the role advocacy played in getting cities and states to consider erasing marijuana convictions - and how that impacts our communities.
Buck is beyond old news.
If you'd like to read the giant document I gave Woodhull regarding changes they needed to make, you can find it here:
It includes links to tweets as receipts, too.
We have pride because of a black trans woman who was also a disabled sex worker.
[B&W photo of Marsha P Johnson holding a sign that says 'power to the people']
Want to be stared at by everyone in the airport? Love having all eyes on you?
Ask your doctor if Traveling With A Cane When You’re Youngish™ is right for you!
Reminder for y’all today - inspired by
@DirtyLola
- there are still people of color in jail right now because of marijuana in now-legal states.
Remember your privilege if you’re white and participating in 4/20 activities.
Devote energy to allyship & getting people released.
Calling all
#ChronicPain
pals!
A psychology student is conducting a survey on chronic pain and sexuality - including BDSM!
Please take this survey. It's really easy. I finished in about 15 minutes, but it can take up to 30.
#ChronicSex
#ChronicIllness
You can't use disabled people as tokens or to give yourself a pat on the back for sharing their stories, and then turn around and be inaccessible, hostile, and ridiculous.
Sharing our stories doesn't make you exempt from feedback, consequences, etc.
Look, y'all, it's
#SmallBusinessSaturday
.
Are you able to give financial support to small business owners? Awesome!
If you're not, that's okay.
Boosting & RTing is helpful, too.
This is a thread of people to check out, follow, RT, and donate to if you can. Feel free to add!
Make sure to join our weekly
#chronicsex
chat at 8 pm Eastern on Thursdays. Here's our chat schedule through the end of the year: .
Haven't joined before? Check out our 101 post, too:
Why has
@Twitter
@TwitterSupport
locked
@sexpospsych
out of their Twitter account for using the word queer - which is their identity?
I'm incredibly fucking queer, too, and I have the right to assert my use of my label - as does Dr. Liz.
This is ridiculous.
It’s 20gayteen.
It’s way past the time to recognize and lift up black & brown women.
And it’s waaaaaaaayyy past time to recognize the work black & brown women have done to boost body positivity - something White Feminists have coopted and fucked up.
Y'all
I know many of us are thirsty over hotties like Chris Evans
Please respect his privacy and CONSENT right now
His anxiety has to be going off the charts, and we don't need to add to it while forgetting he's a person with real feelings
I would challenge everyone following me and either of them to consider if they should do so
I was blocked by Dan for pointing out ableism, and then he invited another disabled sex educator on to show he wasn't Actually Ableist
He and Buck constantly pull this type of shit
Pals, the podcast and
#ChronicSex
chat are taking a break for a few weeks while I deal with some personal relationship issues.
In the interest of being vulnerable, dealing with a marriage that has a broken foundation is, uh, not awesome.
Thanks for understanding 💜
If you don't add trigger warnings or content notes, you're dismissing a ton of people in a wide variety of communities.
It's forgivable to get caught up in a moment, but not to lash out at people who remind you or call you in.
Being triggered is horrendous.
Welp, chucked the few things I had that
@RebelWilson
designed for
@TorridFashion
in the trash since she keeps blocking black women.
My plus sized white ass is waiting for an apology to our black and brown sisters.
Such a shame that White Feminists gotta be so damn white.
Y'all know ableism in white spaces is different than ableism is Black spaces, right?
That white supremacy teams up with racism to make ableism hit even harder?
This is part of why white centric disability spaces are the worst - folks get into oppression olympics.
'Disabled people are hot' goes viral as people with disabilities share their sexiest selfies, saying: 'Don't doubt us because our bodies don't look like yours'