shut up, josh
@ChiefJosheola
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Following
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19,447
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Retired Marine. I own some stuff. I went viral once. I wrote a book. These things are unrelated. …
South Florida
Joined January 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
MAGA when they heard spanish at the inauguration...
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Mark Jackson: “No one thinks the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles smell bad? They live in a sewer.”
Jeff Van Gundy: “I once met a guy in Bolivia who was half man, half fish. We took mushrooms and played badminton with the Doublemint Twins. Swear to god.”
Mike Breen: “Jokic for 3.”
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College Players: We want to play.
NCAA: We fully support this position and will do everything in our power to make it happen. We are so proud of you.
College Players: We want to get paid.
NCAA:
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“Fort Lauderdale police officers hung back, making no arrests and saying nothing as some protesters drank from open champagne or beer bottles.”
Good thing they weren’t protesting racial injustice or police brutality or else the law might have to be enforced. Or something.
Crowd defies Fort Lauderdale beach closure, stages protest on sand
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@KingRegis_
@Maddd3___
"I think...I think they just elected a mexican president or something...I can't be sure...yes, I fear for my life..."
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“The student was coming at me very aggressively. I felt threatened.” - Future Headline
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This remains the most accurate description of Joe Rogan I’ve ever read.
Joe Rogan is one of the dumbest people on this planet.
He just said that Joe Biden prerecorded the State of the Union address and didn't even realize that hundreds of Republicans would've had to have been in on the plot.
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Rachel Nichols in 2021
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Don’t forget to proudly wear your AR-15 pins this morning, you fucking bozos.
@GOP
@HouseGOP
@SenateGOP
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The nightmare scenario for ESPN of no SEC team in the college football championship is closer to a reality.
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you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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Lil Nas X showing up to the Country Music Awards like...
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“You know who else was washed? The feet of Jesus’ disciples.”
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I witnessed my former betrothed with her new beau at our local winery and I sent over her favorite Bordeaux, strode up, kissed her hand and told her new gentleman “fear not good sir my pursuit of coitus is at an end” and walked away briskly.
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Ezra Miller is a violent sexual predator but capitalism always wins. Money over morals.
First poster for ‘The Flash’ starring Ezra Miller has been released.
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Wait, so you think Lizzo, a black woman who has been a classically trained flutist since she was 10 and Jack Black, a Jewish drama geek whose parents are both satellite engineers were the popular kids?
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You misspelled “heroes”
Some guys are modding the PC version of Madden 19 into a playable version of NCAA 19 and I can't wait 👀🔥
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Jeremy Tache
#LooksLike
the computer-generated image of what a kidnapped child would look like as an adult.
@jeremytache
@LeBatardShow
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Ray Epps is a 60 year old Trump supporter who owns an event venue in Arizona. He is also the president of the AZ chapter of the Oath Keepers.
He’s not hard to find. He’s also not a fed. The entire conspiracy theory of FBI involvement in Jan 6th revolves around him being one.
Seems like the Tucker interview has had an effect on Ted Cruz. Cruz is now asking about FBI involvement in January 6th and Ray Epps
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If your team comes out to a song someone else wrote, you’re a cover band.
Does Florida State have the best entrance in College Football?
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Is everyone just going to ignore the fact that he has underwear around his neck and is clearly using them as a mask?
Oregon man hacks Wendy's deal, gets week's supply of nuggets
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FSU will probably go out there and dominate WF on Saturday. A mistake free, 42-3 beat down.
And that is the most frustrating thing about FSU football. There’s no consistency. You never know which team is going to show up.
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Why is this shocking? Seriously. He’s a Republican. This is entirely on brand.
SHOCKING: Ron DeSantis has BANNED the teaching of AP African American Studies in Florida.
Florida has gone from Don’t Say Gay to Don’t Say Black.
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He should lose his right to own a gun forever. Forever. Period.
Don’t @ me with an argument because it’s invalid.
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- Alabama proved they didn’t belong
- The SEC is obviously an overrated conference
- Alabama clearly has a culture problem
- Alabama proved everyone right because we all knew they were going to lose
That’s how this works, right?
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Alex Jones’ personal net worth is around $14 million. His assets include a home worth $2.6 million, a $2.2 million ranch, a $1.8 million lake house, a $500,000 rental property, and 4 vehicles and 2 boats worth over $330,000.
Take it all. Fuck him into financial oblivion.
A Texas judge has ruled Alex Jones cannot use bankruptcy protection to avoid paying more than $1.1 billion to families who sued over his conspiracy theories that the Sandy Hook school massacre was a hoax
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These kids stayed up late and missed their classes at FAU for nothing lmaoooooooooo
Miami students went to the FSU team hotel last night at 2am and caused mayhem you LOVE to see it
#beatFSU
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The problem with the “prove the committee wrong by beating UGA” narrative is that a lot of kids are going to opt out of the Orange Bowl who wouldn’t have if FSU was in the playoffs.
They aren’t going to risk an injury in what is now a consolation game. That’s just a fact.
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Driving several hours off your route only to throw up the worst middle finger in the history of time isn’t the flex you think.
Wife and I are driving down to Miami for vacation
Had to make a quick pit stop
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@primediscussion
She was a confederate general’s daughter. He was the strongest field hand in Mississippi. The law said their love was forbidden. But they knew love always find a way. The Milky Way.
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I wish I wasn’t as emotionally invested in FSU football as I am. But I am. And the rest of this day sucks.
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“Hey girl, I just found out I got baptized wrong.”
Imagine dying then finding out you gotta go to hell because of a clerical error
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This moment hurt UM and UF fans the most because not only did they lose to us this year, but they know their players don’t have this kind of love for each other.
We are Jerry Maguire hugging Rod Tidwell and they are Bob Sugar.
#IYKYK
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When you have a $115 million contract but you see a college kid get $1000 for promoting Nutter Butters
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It’s just a seasonal fire. It will be gone in 2 weeks. Let the fire burn so the tree develops natural immunity.
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@BiscayneBae
This place is a dream come true with how easy it is to get in and out. Marlins park on the other hand…
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31 players arrested
1 convicted murderer
0 undefeated seasons
The Urban Meyer era at Florida
65-15
2 National Championships
2 SEC Championships
36-12 Conference Record
5-1 Bowl Record
Heisman Winner Tim Tebow
5-1 vs Georgia
5-1 vs Florida State
3-3 vs LSU
3 Top 3 AP Finishes
Finished
#1
in the AP twice
3 13 Win seasons
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There are few people on this earth whose departure from this earth will make me happy. Rush Limbaugh was one. Alex Jones will be another.
He is a vile, cruel man and his existence only serves to steal oxygen from others.
The absolute empathy I'm seeing for Alex Jones from people who should consciously know better - the same people calling Sandy Hook parents "evil" - is so incredibly revealing about who we are as a country.
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Andrew Luck looks like a guy who’s about to talk you into buying a bottle of Dr. H.R. Pootertoot’s Miracle Elixer which will cure such common ailments as bone jingles, electric blood, and skin failure.
@LeBatardShow
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Vaccinate. Your. Kids. You. Morons.
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We are going to lose to UM on Saturday.
Accept this now.
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“You know how many pancakes it takes to screw on a roof, Joe?”
“How many, Booger?”
“Blue. Because ice cream melts in the rain.”
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The creator of NBA Jam is such a huge Detroit Pistons fan that he rigged the game so they would have a better shot at beating the Chicago Bulls. In a close game, if a player on the Bulls takes a last-second shot, they will always miss.
What is the most useless piece of video game knowledge you know?
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FSU started the season 0-4 and will finish 5-7.
It could have been a lot worse folks. A lot worse.
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@AgentSelf99B
Being a Trump supporter means abandoning all logic and reason. The election is rigged. Unless Trump wins. Every criminal trial is rigged against him. Unless he is found innocent. This is why they follow him because they never have to be wrong
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Back the blue unless the blue is black.
Tucker Carlson repeatedly says Michael Byrd "executed" Ashli Babbitt (Babbitt in fact was part of a mob that was trying to lynch members of Congress)
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1. Bruce Timm didn’t say this.
2. Caped Crusader takes place in a 1940s alternate reality Gotham
3. Bruce Timm didn’t say this.
4. It’s a cartoon, you stupid nerds.
5. Bruce Timm didn’t say this.
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I don’t really know from trucks, is that a lot or a little bit of cum for him to be hauling?
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Anyone who doesn’t loudly boo this shithead is dead to me.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis heading to Ireland, will cheer on FSU football in Dublin opener
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@OneRadChee
Military pilots don’t get to pick their own call sign. They are given to them by other pilots and are usually based on an embarrassing personal event or a play on their name.
Example: I worked with a pilot whose call sign was “Sieg”. Why? Because his last name was Heil.
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@AsydaFries
@strangeharbors
I enjoy the whole series. They are not trying to be a serious action movie, but they take the action very seriously.
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You had 10 years to come up with something and you chose MS Paint?
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If you watched that debate and said “I don’t know who to vote for” or “Trump still has my vote” please, please...Un-fucking-follow me.
I know everything I need to know about you based on that decision alone.
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I. Was. Ungovernable.
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The epitath on her tombstone should be like the ones at the Haunted Mansion:
Ashli went to D.C. to shout
She joined up with Q for clout
She protested in the streets
She ignored the police
Then she fucked around and found out
Protester killed in Capitol was Air Force vet from California
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Decisions…decisions
I will be deleting all Anheuser-Busch products from my tour hospitality rider. I know many other artists who are doing the same.
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This is why
@joerogan
is a bad faith actor. Not all viewpoints - regardless of topic - deserve a “wow, that’s interesting” especially when they are so blatantly racist and insane.
Joe Rogan guest claims black people have a inherent gene that makes them violent
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FSU fans gloating about his firing on this app are weird.
Willie had his time at FSU. It wasn’t successful. He left and now we’re doing much better.
Why are you still holding resentment towards him? It’s ok to want him to succeed.
Source: FAU has fired Willie Taggart after a 5-7 season. Taggart went 15-18 in three seasons with the Owls.
@Andrew_Ivins
first.
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Seasons like this show who the true fans are. It’s easy to cheer for a team averaging 10 wins a year. Rockin FSU gear at 2-4 is loyalty.
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This is the level of comfort and protection racists have in America. He said that knowing full well nothing was going to happen to him.
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If any FSU fans expected a 12-0 season that’s your fault for being a homer. New coach. New players. New scheme. That synergy doesn’t happen overnight.
It won’t be as bad as last year but there will be more nights like this so strap in and accept it.
Or don’t.
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Oh wait…did you think this picture meant we’d be taking off? That I would be flying right now? Ha! Fools! Then why am I currently sitting at the baggage claim area of Orlando airport at midnight?
Buckle up kids. This 🧵 is wild:
Welcome aboard Prince Airlines. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to get through this thing called transatlantic travel.
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