Cellar Squid
@CellarSquid
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Was Jolly Good Beer, died a death - per pin. I may use this account for dispense work - or just promote great brewers & beer places. I log in infrequently -Yvan
Norfolk Fens
Joined October 2013
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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To be absolutely 100% clear: Jolly Good Beer is 100% anti-fascist, unequivocally, now and forever. And please note: "Antifa" is not an "organisation", it's a contraction of anti-fascist. We are anti-fascist - we are "antifa" (or however you want to capitalise it.)
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My day would probably have been better had I not looked at the warehouse CCTV.
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The future!
Jolly Good Beer has secured investment from the owners of chilled logistics operators Fardel Shipping and Hedges Chilled Distribution to integrate, improve & expand JGB’s existing chilled wholesale distribution platform.
More here:
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Contrary to a rumour I have just heard - Jolly Good Beer has not "gone bust". We are mothballed and all staff are on furlough so they can stay home & stay safe. Shut-down is by far the best option currently available in terms of any logical risk assessment.
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If you swear at and otherwise abuse our drivers we'll just blacklist your account. I've zero tolerance for my staff being abused.
Don't be a cunt.
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Hmmm.... I run a small beer distro business, over 90% of our draught sales are 30 litre kegs from independent microbreweries.
As far as I can see this puts my entire market sector of small & independent UK businesses at a disadvantage, in favour of multi-national interests.
Draught Relief will apply a new, lower rate of duty on draught beer and cider.
It will particularly benefit community pubs who do 75% of their trade on draught.
It’s not a freeze, it will cut duty by 5%. A long-term investment in British pubs of £100m a year.
#Budget2021
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This is the final day of JGB's 5th year. I nearly forgot about it, been way too busy.
Five years ago I bought a transit van and hired a refrigerated shipping container and then bought some beer.
Now it's me, a 1500ft2 coldstore, 2-3 vans, 1 HGV, & 9 good humans.
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April payroll paid out.
Which is a huge weight off the mind and heart. All staff now furloughed.
Working to get as much to brewers as possible.
Working to reduce and defer operating costs where possible.
Keeping everyone up and down chain as informed as possible.
Isolating.
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A lot of talk today about "cold chain"… there basically is no beer "cold chain" in the UK. You cannot expect it. You cannot even expect distributors to *store* beer cold. You definitely cannot expect retailers to. As for "on the road"…it ain't a chain unless it's *all* chilled.
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There is very much such a thing as a "customer" not worth having. Good riddance. FFS. My staff don't deserve to put up with assholes.
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Our position on this week's "big news" re
@cloudwaterbrew
's core beer Tesco listing, addressed primarily to our customers:
(It's too complex to express in a "tweet" format.)
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Can't we all just tell the Portman Group to fuck off already?
It's a part of British culture isn't it... official crushing of all fun. The UK likes to crush fun so much it invents special fun-crushing bureaucracies.
Complaint against Taras Boulba Belgian ale upheld by
@PortmanGroup
- "a label depicting a man throwing a beer barrel at a cowering victim on the floor conveyed aggression"
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And while I'm upsetting fascists - please note that JGB is pro-diversity and inclusivity - JGB is anti-misogynist - JGB is pro-trans-rights - and
#BlackLivesMatter
- and ... I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
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Yo! On-Trade... BEER LINES!
If you're mothballing your draught systems I recommend you do a full line-clean. Then if you can get it put a sodium-metabisulphite solution into them. (Water if not.)
This could save you major beer line issues after a shut-down period.
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Satisfying email from solicitors... managed to recover funds from a CCJ. Account went "talk to the hand" on us - all contact rebuffed. So we had to file against them. Now a £600 debt has cost them £1200 - when surely we could have come to a better & quicker resolution in person.
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We will never compromise on quality.
We will always do things better. We will always keep all our beer chilled. We will always pay our staff a living wage.
We will do things this way, or we will not do them.
Brewers can support that or not, if they don't the can toddle off.
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Where do we even start with these two
@ratepallet
masterpieces ... is there a pallet Hall of Infamy?
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For the sake of my sanity I'm turning off both phones to drink some beer and tune out until the morning.
Have a good evening everyone.
Be mindful of yourselves and those around you.
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JGB News
New staff - we welcome Gregg Irwin in ops and Phil Hardy in procurement.
New vans - chillin'
Bigger & better!
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We will continue to stock this. We have some in stock right now. Be a rebel, buy this beer. (It's quite lovely.)
📍Please find attached below a Press Release in reply to today’s Portman Group ruling against our beer ‘Running With Sceptres’ - IPL.
We do not agree with the decision & will leave the branding as is.
We hope to generate conversation and begin to bring about much needed change.
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PSA: DO NOT USE 30/70 GAS ON "CRAFT KEG" - IT'S NOT BLOODY JOHN SMITH YOU BUNCH OF BLOODY BOZOS.
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Dipping a toe back into this here Twitter to mark a poignant event in JGB history.
As I wave goodbye to the original "Jolly Yellow Beer Van" - who started this journey with me. The first JGB purchase, back in February 2014.
Fare thee well, wherever thy wheels roll you.
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@BottleShopWSale
@sainsburys
@PJMcKerry
And 4°C for us … modern beer especially needs coldstorage to slow aging that badly impacts flavour, hops especially fade fast. I.e. most popular "craft beer". We've been 100% coldstorage since we started 4 years ago - it's just the right thing to do, isn't it!!
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It's BIG MOVE week as our main distribution centre is relocated to the big Grimsby warehouse. Yes, all chilled, all the time... and much larger temperature controlled warehousing facilities at the new HQ. (With chilled hub locations here, down London way, and more to come...)
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What we did in 2018, a retrospective... and pondering where we're headed in 2019.
State of the Jolly Good Nation - 2019:
#WallOfText
#NotAboutBrexit
#ColdChain
#Dispense
#GFEB
#EskyBar
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I have no hesitation in declaring this - if that makes you hate JGB/me, then you can toddle off. I utterly and fundamentally do not condone fascism - or any far-right views.
And if you are anti-anti-fascist... what does that make you? 🤷🏻♂️
Google "fascist" FFS.
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Pubs - maybe it's time to buy in smallpack and try promoting a "drink out" offer.
Your customers may be keen to support you this way.
Perhaps turn your carpark into a "drive thru" bottle shop. (These were a big thing back home in Australia.)
(If your licensing permits.)
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So, to those hearing Jolly Good Beer has "gone bust":
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
However, we are on pause for now - and will remain so until my continual risk & viability assessments suggest otherwise.
Be well & safe,
Yvan
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For the avoidance of doubt — it is strongly my belief that we are not an essential service, and beer is not a basic need.
JGB is now closed for business.
More information will be sent out soon. I am in the middle of cooking dinner right now.
So, Boris O'Clock is 20.30 today.
If a shutdown of non-essential services is announced then the JGB logistics team has been told not to come in tomorrow. But, otherwise, we will not leave customers in the lurch. Although I question whether continuing any beer trade is "right".
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Yo! PUBS! Expecting to be shutting down beer lines for weeks?
I've collated advice from earlier discussions about "mothballing" beer lines into a document:
With thanks to
@B33rdan
@GeoffLath
@DonzokoBeer
&
@TheBeerFather
for feedback & knowledge.
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I just read this sentence and nearly spat my coffee on my keyboard: "As a premium ale brand that’s considered by many as the original craft beer, Hobgoblin carries enormous brand equity capable of driving consumer demand."
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We will soon be extending our reach in more northerly directions out of the Grimsby warehouse. The exact details of routes/zones/timings is TBD based on customer needs, but this is a rough outline.
Interested in high quality chilled beer wholesale?
iwantbeer
@jollygoodbeer
.co.uk
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Well,
@Kilder_Bar
is ready to pour beer... This space is looking fantastic. Going to be a great asset to beer in Birmingham, and with
@OriginalPattyM
right next door too!
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We won't be accepting any more breweries using PolyKeg going forward - it now joins the list with Dolium and PETainer as a banned format for us.
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I'm not really allowed to pick favourites.
But have this to say: if you have one, try and support your local indy beer retailer. All the ones I know are good folks and beer lovers who've put a lot on the line to turn their passion into a business.
#LetsBeerPositive
As we start heading into the festive season, I’d like to revisit a previous
#LetsBeerPositive
topic on bottle shops and beer retailers.
Who are your favourite independent retailers and why? Let us know and include the
#LetsBeerPositive
hashtag and quote/RT if you can!
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W.T.A.F.
SRSLY?
Me. Leggings. On "insta". I do not think the world, even "insta", is ready for that...
Some exposure is too much exposure.
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Trump's America is a fascist state. Trump has endorsed fascism at a time like this, and blood is on his hands. This whole thread is shaming, and harrowing.
Oh, and JGB considers itself an ANTIFA business. Fuck Trump, fuck racism, fuck the alt-right, fuck fascists.
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I just need to say this: I fucking hate, I DESPISE, the whole "FOMO" rush bollocks we've ended up at in this industry. It's going to give me a fucking heart attack one day. It's not fun. It's stress and anger and pissed off people.
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BollocksDog - "Europe’s first ever fully refrigerated beer warehouse" – we're a 100% 4°C warehouse distro business and have been 100% chilled for all beer formats since we started in April 2014.
I love what BD have done for beer in the UK.
But they spin bullshit.
Our mission is to make other people as passionate about great craft beer as we are.
And this is our blueprint for how we will achieve that.
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January 2020... highest sales month ever. What the hell is going on. No wonder we're all grumpy and tired. (Or is that just me... I'm definitely both these things lately. Sorry y'all.)
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Shit iz happening.
Pete in a van in London today - a full load! (I mean, normally London link is 4 loads, but it's a start lol...) Also picking up
@OrbitBeers
.
And
@burningskybeer
,
@DBBrewery
and
@SQUAWKBrewingCo
have just landed in the coldstore.
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Breweries: labelling your kegs with a sharpie with nowt but the beer name and ABV isn't actually legally compliant. DO NOT DO THIS BOZOS.
Put a BBD on please. Put allergens on please. You MUST do these.
I think legally you might also need to put duty payable volume on there?
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Really sad news for us here at JGB.
Hardknott was a reason I started JGB.
It was sad that the brewery didn't work out in the long run. But Dave's influence was significant. I would say
@HardKnottDave
was a formative contributor to what has become "modern craft beer" in the UK.
We lost one of the guiding lights of craft beer today.
RIP
@HardKnottDave
A beacon of joy and loving and living life right up to the end.
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I don't get out the old dispense install toolkit very often - but
#Northstowe
Tap & Social near
#Cambridge
needed a direct-draw install done and I struggle to say no to direct-draw, especially in my own back yard...
They open THIS FRIDAY!
Great beverages +
@steakandhonour
!
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Our
#OneCircle
path starts here.
We've worked for years already to support collection of plastic kegs, and get them to a better demise than landfill.
It's awesome that the folks at
@KeyKeg
have stepped up to the plate to offer a full-circle recycling solution.
#RikForScale
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Proof of concept/experiment with "more hygenic festival glass sparge". (Because I have so much spare time...)
Prediction: people will get wet.
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I try to follow a path of being open and honest, sometimes to my detriment (and sometimes folk really don't want honest answers).
This situation right now is really fucking us over. The furlough scheme got us through as a team thus far... and for that we should be grateful.
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18 taps of coldstore directdraw dispense ready and waiting for Thursday...
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We supply the hospitality industry, it's most of our business.
Rates relief doesn't help us. VAT cut doesn't help us. Local authority support? Where? How?
He's an utterly useless bloody twonk.
Earlier I spoke about my meetings with hospitality leaders, the support available and the need for us to all
#GetBoostedNow
.
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We have 34 bales of KeyKeg material going back to them this week in fact.
This is real recycling.
♻️ KeyKegs contains at least 39% recycled materials. And we can steadily increase this amount with great Collection Network partners like
@JollyGoodBeer
, who collect empty
#KeyKeg
and
#UniKeg
alongside their established beverage distribution, bar setup and dispense activities. 🚛
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My own personal note and apology, for what little it is worth. (Yvan)
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Breweries sending us beer with under 2 months BBD on is symptomatic of this entire industry sector disappearing up its own arsehole.
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A pallet of beer?!
First arrival of new stock since March.
Our supply of
@pollysbrewco
has whittled down to very little over the last 3 months, so we asked for a top-up.
It'll take until tomorrow until I remember how to get new stock into the system. 😂
Babiest of baby steps.
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Hey, so… it'd be nice if you dropped us a little note before/when you cancel your Direct Debit so we have a sitrep on what's going on and can work out expectations. There's no shame in it right now! We need to be communicating, people. We might get through this working together.
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Ah, one of those "two working days in one" sorta days... just mostly wrapped up this Birmingham dispense job. Back in a couple of weeks (or so) for commissioning... now... off back to Cambridgeshire. Might work only 8 hours tomorrow, treat myself, like. ;)
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It's Burns Night, so we're having haggis & goat cheese pizza.
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I may swear a bit on here, I will continue to be frustrated and angry. I will not forget that I want to see the clownshow supposedly leading this country slowly roasted alive. I won't try very hard to bottle that up, because some days it's all I have... today I am rage.
-Yvan
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Well, goodbye to the Upwell warehouse. 😥
You served us well! You and your "CHILLED 1". Never did get around to building a "CHILLED 2" to keep it company.
Seven years!
But onward, and upward! Northward in fact! To Grimsby!
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One of the most asked questions about the
#EskyBar
is "how did it get in here" – the answer is "flat pack", people seem slightly incredulous when we say it fits in the back of a van.
So, here is is… one whole coldstore in a Peugeot Boxer LWB.
And space for all the other kit!
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Jolly Good Beer - SitRep 2020-04-16
A status update from Yvan at JGB HQ. Where we're at, what we're doing (not much), and what's next (vaguely).
There will be more on this to come.
(Access to social media will be sporadic.)
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Personally I think this is a good move and is for the best - and it's wonderful to see Mills reach a point where they feel secure at a size they want to be... no relentless churn of growth chasing, fund-raising, PR-spinning... just a good compact, sustainable business. Dreamy.
After much thought, we have decided to sell direct to the public from now on.
The online shop is coming soon. If you would like to be notified of new beer releases, please sign up to the mailing list at
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When a pub owned by a well known brewer is persistently very late paying bills (average of 69 days). This sort of behaviour is the major contributor to the cashflow problem in this industry. One would expect better of brewers who know what its like being at the receiving end. 🤷🏻♂️
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Remember when beers worth drinking pretty much only came in bottles...
Bottle caps were way easier to hoard than cans are. 😂
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We won't be attempting to resume normal operation in July. I'd love to - but it isn't yet sound for my operation, either financially or safety-wise. We need to wait things out a bit longer. A false-start would utterly destroy us, we cannot afford the current risk-level.
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Hm, thanks BBC... I'm not really sure *that* is the image our industry needs right now. :-/
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I agree — this is an excellent call.
Many people I respect would agree with this.
Yet Burning Sky are not in the Untappd Top-50 hypefest.
Which says all you need to know about that pile of bollocks.
A panel of
@tommys_tipples
,
@JonnyGarrett
,
@wehavealex
,
@ChrisHallBeer
& our very own Cormac Wall decided the next 4.
First of all we have our UK Brewery of the Year,
@burningskybeer
, who take the crown for their quietly confident approach and incredible barrel-aged range.
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One _could_ argue a can is like a tiny cask, and opening the can is "venting" the cask. Welcome to the can-cask bitter revolution. :)
Oooops, I just reinvented cask ale again. Damn it.
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Well, job <almost> done! Waiting for mains water and missing just 9 sodding jubilee clips! A little tidying to do, and labelling… but
@73EnidSt
pretty much has a dispense system :)
Now a 2 hour drive home. Bit of a kip, then I'm doing delivery runs for the next two days!
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If you happen to owe us money, especially if overdue it would be appreciated if you pony up this weekend. I've got brewers I need to pay on Monday and need more of what y'all owe me to I can pay all of them... and so the horrible laggy credit chain goes. 😓 And it's VAT week too.
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I just might have to go for a hobble* up to the warehouse to grab a special beer to celebrate the apparent end of Trump tonight... maybe more than one...
(* buggered my ankle it seems)
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Your "Job Support Scheme" won't help, it's a fucking crock of shit
@RishiSunak
- you are a devious cunt.
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I have refreshed the 3-year-old "Keg Beer Pressure in the UK" post with some updated info and refreshed charts with added 30/70 data.
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I think
@Mallinsons
need a mention here, quietly and unassumingly churning out consistent beers exploring and loving hops for years, they were ahead of the curve, and are very much still at it.
#LetsBeerPositive
Right, in keeping with yesterday being
#IWD2020
, this week's
#LetsBeerPositive
wants to big-up beer, cider and wine businesses, organisations and enterprises led by women.
Whether it's a brewery owned by a woman, or a self-employed freelance beer writer, let's hear about 'em!
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This Twitter account is being mothballed along with everything else JGB (except Yvan trying to make sense of the admin and pottering about in the warehouse).
Don't DM, it's being deleted from browsers & phones.
Contact Yvan using yvan
@jollygoodbeer
.co.uk
Be safe.
Reduce risk.
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Brewers: if you have someone selling your beer _real_cheap_ out there it's knocking the legs out from under the viability of your beer. Pricing expectations get down-graded, and your product becomes unsaleable in any real volume at functional margin.
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Anyway, I do waffle... I'm good at waffle.
JGB is still here, half-asleep, snoozing in the background. Our market isn't ready yet, not even close. Though I'm actually supposed to be building 3 pallets to ship out today, better crack on hey?
Peace, folks. Good luck. Travel well.
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Why send 2 pallets when you can wrap them on top of each other and call them one pallet? 😂
Arrived safe and sound we think, is scraped across the top... amazed the haulers accepted this one!
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The mood seems to be that the correct thing to do is for anything that isn't an essential service to shut down and sit this out.
Is beer essential? Supermarkets will stay open, they sell beer... why shouldn't beer shops? Or is that irresponsible?
Practice safe beer sales folks.
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Be aware, drinking keg beer may make small extra faces grow out of the side of your head. However, these are benign and can be used to tell other people to mind their own business whilst you pour keg beer into your main face.
Surrounded by keykegs
@gbbf
drinking
@SirenCraftBrew
lemon cheesecake. I enjoyed Ruddles County at Covent Garden in 1975 but the world moves on as does the beer I like
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Spotted new
#OneCircle
branded
@KeyKeg
kegs full of fresh
@cloudwaterbrew
coming off the chilled lorry this morning.
We are glad to be a part of completing that circle — we collect empty KeyKegs and bale them to efficiently return to KeyKeg to be turned into more KeyKegs. ♻️
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@CAMRA_Official
@gbbf
That's because their policies are garbage for pubs, and you guys supporting this whole bullshit PR stunt about the duty debacle just makes you complicit Tory shills.
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Well, yeah, we expect that .... because he's a HORRIBLE FUCKING CUNT who'd probably rather bring back workhouses for the peasants.
Iain Duncan Smith says don’t bring in universal basic income during pandemic as it would be ‘disincentive to work’ and unaffordable
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Almost done at
@BoxcarBrwCo
!
Neat and simple.
#DirectDraw
is very
#KISS
. Everything is visible and easily maintainable.
Mildly kicking ourselves for picking up two of the wrong sort of secondary regulators is all. 🤣 So will be nipping down to fit them next week.
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First day done at
@BeerMoreSocBar
— keg dispense compete (mainly) — back in a fortnight to do cask lines and mains/drainage plumbing. Fab little bar taking shape here in Hazel Grove — look forward to seeing it in action.
In the van and headed back to base now.
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The
@yeastieboys
Rex Attitude is on the prowl at
@leedsbeer
— find Rex Attitude pouring at the
@NewZealandBeer
— top of stairs, to the left.
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I give up on people.
JUST FUCKING SHUT IT ALL AND STAY THE FUCK HOME UNLESS MORE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE IF YOU DON'T DO YOU JOB. (Food, medicine, etc - not beer FFS, you bunch of motherfucking retards are a fucking danger to society.)
How fucking hard is it?
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Rum — way better than gin, and at times almost as good as whisky.
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We appreciate breweries who understand that to sell a beer it's really useful to know a beer. Thanks for popping samples on your pallets,
@brick_brewery
— we're now know these beers. :) The new range of sours is perfect for BBQ Saturday!
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Well, that was pretty pathetic and wishy washy really. A government making a call to take drastic action who're seemingly unwilling to take any drastic action themselves.
@BorisJohnson
and his government are weak... non-committal and dithering.
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On Mondays we process the empty KeyKeg mountain...this involves ensuring depressurised, removing the black ends, and baling them in a hydraulic baler to go onto pallets. When we have 20+
@KeyKeg
take them away to be processed for making more kegs.
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