Neuropsychologist interested in memory, music, neurodevelopment, & neuroendocrinology. Author of The Secret World of the Brain. Trustee at AgeUKBarnet. She/her.
Just to add: this an everyday story and nothing actually happened so why bother with this thread? Because we need to talk about it. We need to believe women who say they’re scared. We all need to look out for this stuff all the time and we need to call it out (ENDS)
THREAD
I have thought hard about sharing this story firstly because it feels quite personal and secondly because this stuff happens every day and probably seems very trivial to many. But anyway here is my story of what happened on the tube early yesterday morning (1/10)
An open return train ticket to Darlington yesterday for two of us would have cost £492. We did it for £22 in our electric car. I reckon it would have been around £70 in a petrol car. For so many reasons, surely something needs to be done about these train costs?
Finally, I want to thank
@JohnAmaechi
who I was on my way to meet for the first time. With this as my opening story, he may well have thought I was a bit bonkers, but he listened intently to me and validated what I’d experienced which was all I needed (10/10)
I pretended to look at my watch then just before the beeps went I jumped back on the train, giving him no time to reach the next door and get back on. I was shaken but I am fine. I am just grateful that I had my wits about me and that I was able to think my way through it (7/10)
Of course, I know I could have imagined the whole thing but over the years I’ve learned to trust my instincts. This has been a far less common occurrence in my 50s than it was in my 20s and I am so much better at coping with it, but this happens to people every day (9/10)
He followed me (past many empty seats), sat directly opposite and stared intently at me. Many women will know well what goes though your mind at this point: the yoyo between thinking you must be imagining it and the creeping instinctive fear that you have become a target (4/10)
I’ve no idea what his intentions were but the scary thing was that even on a busy train in central London, he was unperturbed. I worry about who was next but I had nothing to report to the police as I was so busy avoiding his gaze that couldn’t even say what he looked like (8/10)
My 16 year-old has been going round London trying to capture exactly the same photos my mum took on a photography project she did when she was 16, in 1955. Didn’t quite get it done in time for her Christmas present but we’re nearly there now. Here’s a little taster:
Sure enough, he followed me when I got off (NB not a particularly popular station) so I started walking along the platform but then paused. This forced him to overtake me, so he also paused and looked over his shoulder (twice). He then also stopped walking (6/10)
I made no eye contact but as time went on, I instinctively felt he would follow me when I got off. My original plan was to walk some of the way, but it was pretty early and I knew the streets would still be quiet so, as I was getting increasingly nervous I concocted a plan (5/10)
It was one of those stations where there are two possible trains and you never know which is leaving first. There were no announcements so some of us were doing the usual hokey-cokey dance between the two. I just made it on to the right one as the doors closed (2/10)
muttered a mild frustration under my breath, which in retrospect seems to have been taken as a chat up line by a man standing nearby. He looked at me a bit oddly, so feeling a bit uncomfortable I walked down 2 full sections of the tube to find a seat away from him (3/10)
@JohnAmaechi
Thanks for being a person that I felt able to say this to within 2 minutes of meeting and for not thinking that I was paranoid or over-reacting. This is the first time I’ve ever spoken up to anyone other than a very close confidante.
Today I am 50. Like many women, I’ve felt encouraged to hide my age rather than celebrate it. But getting older is a privilege not afforded to everyone, so I’ve spent today thinking of things I can say at 50 that I couldn’t have said at 40. There are many more but here are a few:
I’ve been absolutely staggered by the huge response to this. Thanks for the advice to report (I will do). Thanks for understanding & validating my experience. But thanks especially to all those who have shared their harrowing stories, which illustrate what a huge problem this is.
THREAD
I have thought hard about sharing this story firstly because it feels quite personal and secondly because this stuff happens every day and probably seems very trivial to many. But anyway here is my story of what happened on the tube early yesterday morning (1/10)
@DrDandyD
Thank you and I’m glad you did. I had a similar but more obvious situation a few years ago and also called the police when I got home. They tracked the CCTV and said he’s been following me for about an hour.
Breaking news:
@CathLoveday
awarded title: Professor of Psychology for her outstanding record of research, scholarship, academic leadership and public engagement. Welll done Catherine Loverday!
@UoWPsych
@UoW_CogNeuro
@dibyeshanand
I’m looking for a PhD student to come and work on a project that facilitates empathy and understanding of “the other” through sharing of autobiographical memories. Come & work with me!
Last weekend my mum was staying with me and took a shine to this Banksy coaster. Her memory loss means that every time she sat at the table she rediscovered it, and each time she read it with the same fervour & wise nod of her head. It very much sums up her approach to life
Our research shows that music listened to on road trips with family as a child/teenager tends to become really important and memorable later in life. My two often put headphones on so I’m wondering whether this communal listening happens less these days? Time for a poll:
My mum got a rescue dog 12 years ago. It has never been able to mix with other dogs and has never seemed entirely content. A few weeks ago my nephew got a new puppy and it has become best of friends with my mum’s dog and I know this is a trivial story but it’s made my heart melt.
@fascinatorfun
@VesperUK
Well said! It takes a level of confidence to do this though so we have to help people feel it’s ok to speak up, especially younger women.
Every year I retweet this piece on how to spot drowning. Last year someone replied saying they’d read my RT the previous year and later rescued a kid. TL;DR: drowning kids usually don’t scream or splash about.
This is me & my sister c1977. Oh how I loved those trousers! If you can spare 10-15 minutes this weekend, my student and I would be really grateful if you could complete our questionnaire about childhood memory and place:
@Crowrivernet
Even factoring in the lease payments we make for our electric car, it wins hands down in terms of cost. And people often don’t have the luxury of booking in advance or knowing the time of their return. This means only the wealthy have choice/flexibility when traveling by train.
@m_wall
If he’d managed to get back on I was going to ask him in front of everyone if he was following & I knew the next station was safer to get out of anyway but seriously rubbish that I had to have such a detailed plan!
I’m sharing this to raise awareness. It came out of the blue and there is little research on why it happens. So, if you like swimming then make sure you’re always with someone and you have a plan for getting out if you need to. And if you feel breathless, take it seriously 8/9
Last night I was on the receiving end of some v unpleasant & sexist behaviour in a (non work-related) meeting I chaired. The feelings evoked by the intimidation & gaslighting are still with me today. Solidarity to those who experience any sort of prejudice on a daily basis.
@pat_tissington
The album is really coming together and is so interesting. Am thinking of getting it properly printed for her as well. I think this is one of my favourite pages in terms of seeing change
If you can spare 15 minutes and are over 35, we’d love you to take part in another one of our music & memory studies. Please pass on to friends and family too. It’s fun and seems to generate some interesting conversations! Link is here:
@MichaelRosenYes
I find it infuriating but what really concerns me is how disconcerting and challenging this is for people with memory loss or other cognitive difficulties.
How has your memory been over the last year? If you can spare 20 minutes to take part in our survey we’d be really grateful. Please share and RT so we can get as many responses as possible. Thank you!
My mum’s Christmas present this year was a fortnightly edition of the
#Famileo
gazette and it is fantastic. Family members upload photos and comments via an app (not unlike using Instagram) and then these are printed into a paper gazette and posted to her home address
Can you spare 15 minutes to take part in our study exploring the cultural influences on music and memory? We need big numbers so please share as widely as possible:
And here’s my mother-in-law’s dog asking nicely too 😊
“From Me To You” - a book of letters during lockdown from primary school children to older neighbours. Very pleased to have instigated this lovely
@ageukbarnet
project. Full story here & books available for suggested donation
Congratulations
@DebbiHusbands
on your much deserved promotion to Reader. You have been such an inspiration to me for many years, so this formal recognition of your considerable contribution to research and education makes me very happy 😊
Well it was Lockdown Birthday 2 for me today but the sun shone and despite many walks over the last 12 months, I discovered some new paths. London really is the gift that keeps on giving.
As an 18 year-old, I (justifiably) dreaded A level results day.
As an academic, I have spent the same day each year immersed in the personal stories of young people who have received their results.
But none of this has prepared me for being the parent of an 18 year-old in 2020.
A picture of my mum at medical school in the 1950s: one woman for every 9 men. She was once told she wasn’t allowed to see a patient because her shoes weren’t right and her hair didn’t look nice.
Devastated to lose my great friend and colleague, Martin Conway. He has been the best mentor I could hope for and always gave such unconditional support. I have loved every minute of working with him and will miss him terribly.
I am sad to share the news that Professor Martin Anthony Conway passed away on Wednesday 30th March 2022. He died peacefully in the company of his wife Judith and his children. Martin was far more than simply a prolific and creative researcher for all those that knew him. 1/n
As I warmed up, it gradually subsided but I felt tight chested for the rest of the evening and had to sleep sitting up. I’m almost back to normal today but still not quite right. I feel lucky though that I was with others, I had a toe float and I was able to get out quickly. 7/9
"Systemic racism is real. Our research tells us this, and we should speak out loudly about it."
We spoke to
@JohnAmaechi
following the racism suffered by the England football players this week.
@kavitavedhara
Thanks Kavita, I’m fine. I had 40 minutes of increasing fear, then maybe 30 mins of feeling shaken, but after that I recovered quickly and got on with my day. It’s not the first or worst thing that’s happened to me on the tube but I thought it was time to say something.
Quick Twitter experiment: If anyone is going through
#StPancras
station between 2 and 4pm today and sees my son’s close harmony group singing some carols, could you please take a quick photo for me as I am looking after my mum & unable to go and watch. Thanks in advance!
Just dropped my son off in Manchester to start his degree with
@OfficialUoM
@UoMMusic
. Was reminded was a lovely city it is.
Also noticed that signs everywhere say “physical distancing” which, as
@ReicherStephen
has explained, is far better than the term “social distancing”
Firstly, a bit of context: I’ve always loved swimming - it was the one sport I could do as a child. And I have been cold water swimming for 2 years, sensibly and carefully. I love it. 2/9
Here’s my evidence-based suggestion to you all this evening: (1) think of 8 people who are important to you (2) think of a song or piece of music which makes you think of each of those people (3) find a comfortable place to sit and listen to those songs one after another
3 things I’ve learned about running in the last 12 years:
1. The first 2 minutes are (almost) always the worst
2. You can give up halfway if you want but it’ll be over quicker if you keep going
3. A little bit of rain can be pleasant; a lot of rain + wind is highly unpleasant
So yesterday I went for a swim in a clean, lifeguarded lake (not my usual one). It was 19 degrees, which is very warm by my standards (I swam all through the last 2 winters without a wetsuit) and I swam just under 400m 4/9
Very happy to have been back to
@BBCRadio4
today for the new series of All In The Mind with
@claudiahammond
. As well as the first of the awards nominees, we also talked about
@aldersonday
’s fantastic new book as well as lying, botox & the amygdala
I’m also fit and well - I exercise 6 times a week (mix of resistance & running), I walk a lot, and I eat well. I’ve even learned to get enough sleep and rest - most of the time anyway. 3/9
Thank you to everyone who came to my inaugural lecture tonight, thank you to
@damienridge
for a truly humbling introduction, and thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me in my journey. I hope I can give back as much as has been given to me.
Great to be back at
@BBCRadio4
to chat with
@claudiahammond
for All In The Mind, on air in 5 minutes! We will be discussing earworms, interception & different ways of learning
@JaneNewson
Because I couldn’t prove anything and when I did that once before the man did some impressive gaslighting and others looked at me like I was mad. Was a few years back & maybe things have changed but it’s hard to confront something that is just instinct.
At around 300m, I started to feel a bit breathless, and then fairly quickly I started wheezing. I had a toe float so I grabbed on to it, lifted myself out of the water and kicked my way back in. 5/9
By this time I could hardly catch my breath and I started to cough. I managed to get back to my stuff and get dry and warm but the wheezing, crackling and coughing wouldn’t stop and I started to cough up blood. 6/9
So excited for this to be opening in London. It was so great to be part of the creative process and really is such a great exhibition. Opening this week!
Have you ever wondered how music shapes our day-to-day lives?
This autumn we’re opening our interactive exhibition Turn It Up where you can discover the secrets of music - and even make your own!
Take a look at what to expect in this hands-on experience
15 years since we said goodbye to the man who became my step dad at the age of 7, and who thought that this was a good way to travel from Portsmouth to the New Forest for a camping trip!
Today my step-dad would have been 90. He was with me from the age of 7 and he didn’t always get it right but I wish so much that I could tell him how much more right he got it than I realised at the time. He would be so very proud of all of his grandchildren.
Back in November I had a sports injury, further compounded by slipping on the ice just before Christmas. I honestly began to think I would never do a pain-free run ever again but this morning, I managed my first 10K in 6 months and absolutely not a twinge
#running
#patience
Love photo reminders from my phone. This is me &
@drjuliashaw
on a science march exactly 6 years ago (
@vaughanbell
&
@jeffknowler
also present but out of shot).
Thank you
@jonmsutton
and
@psychmag
, it’s been fantastic! Best committee ever and I’m very touched by the hashtag! Looking forward to our final meeting this afternoon.
At the meeting we will bid a fond farewell to Professor
@CathLoveday
who has been a superb Chair of the Committee for six years. A true inspiration behind so much we've done!
#LoveLovedayDay
A 'one on one'
Overview of those 6 years
Huge congratulations to Dr
@amy_woy
for successfully defending her thesis on such a topical subject! And many thanks to her examiners,
@LauraBoubert
and Lia Kvavilashvili
Thinking affectionately of the man who didn’t like to be beaten by any practical challenge, including transporting 2 families & camping gear in the same car (& yes that is three of us sitting in the boot)
#FathersDay
Which comedians do you remember and why? I’ve teamed up with
@sophiescott
and two undergraduate students to find out. Please take part in our study - it’s fun and only takes 10-20 minutes!
After 9 years
@ageukbarnet
my extended term as a trustee has come to an end. It’s been an extraordinary privilege to work with this incredible team and to watch the charity go from strength to strength, offering so many important services for local residents
Had a lovely time at
@BeachWoolacombe
today and such glorious weather!
Big shout out to Steve’s Surf Hire who found my mum a chair & refreshments when they saw she was struggling to walk back to the car. That small act of kindness made such a difference to our day 🌞
Even in a short interview like this,
@matthaig1
shows how brilliantly and poetically he can hit the nail on the head. Thank you
@jonmsutton
for some great questions and for bringing Matt to
@psychmag
Just finished reading this absolute gem. Although it’s purportedly about leadership in all its forms, it’s really just about being a decent human being. Very inspiring and wow, what an epilogue. Thank you
@JohnAmaechi
I will try to
#hooverthelanding
every day.