RT @CarsonJRuss: “Gazing up into the darkness, I saw myself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and…

As an endless dream it went on; the spirit of the past brooding over a new generation, the chosen youth from the muddled, unchastened world, still fed romantically on the mistakes and half-forgotten dreams of dead statesmen and poets

Raindrops pecked my glasses and I took it to analogy

They should have one of these guys available at every birth. When you and your wife are left alone to for the first time marvel at the life you created together this exact physiognomy needs to walk in, give a 5-10 second thumbs up, then leave without ever saying a word

becoming less active in the group chat when life starts going well

@MrPerfectPhilip The truth of it is there wouldn’t be any cunning involved in sparing life Bc I’m of a naturally forgiving nature but the history books need to be ambiguous on that point

RT @barkersburley: I love her I’m gonna marry her

@calebwholm I literally almost went and bought a pizza so I could take a CRUST angle too

@elviswhereru If this tweet gets more than 10 likes it isn’t as good as I thought it was tbh

@noeticrose Real I’s

It’s the tweet I’ve been working for my whole career

Sorry for being higher openness trait than u

@MatushkaNickels There was another one the same people wanted $10k for that was 5 years old, wild, and had a bad eye. I mean I’m by no means hip to the zebra market but who are they trying to fool

Drinking watered down pop makes it not bad for you anymore that’s how my mind works that’s my reality

Girls will never know what it’s like for a kitten to nestle against their beard

i don’t like what i see in your eyes

@laurenposting Anything less is #forthecameras 😒