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@CallMeJoez
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Matt Hancock said last year that footballers weren’t doing enough and has been pammed by a 23 year old striker ever since
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Prince Charles getting his new buss down crown at Buckingham Palace
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Uncle Phil: ‘Geoffrey go fetch my tools’
Geoffrey: ‘You mean your knife and fork?’
😂😂😂
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2nd in the league and they’re only at their Adebayor/Bellamy stage, we’re all finished
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a guy will commit suicide on a train track and people will be angry cos their journey is delayed
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Ajax cheffed up Madrid in their own yard then said ‘where’s your boy’
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Ronaldo walking into the gym changing room and seeing Nani’s shorts in the laundry
Cristiano Ronaldo: "Nothing changed [since I left]. The pool, the jacuzzi, even the gym, even some technology. Even the chefs who I appreciate, lovely people. I thought I would see new technology, infrastructure. I saw things I saw when I was 20,21,23." [
@PiersUncensored
]
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I ain’t ever seen auntie smile LOOOOL always on her bidness
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he said to the West “I’ve got your boy here begging me to chill” LOOOOOL
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managers in the 2000s realising that the players sitting next to them can enter the game
You’re mad!
SAf through that team pioneered squad rotation and having a pool of strikers. Changed the way managers look at doing it today and achieving success.
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Jesus after hearing “your defence is in trouble” every week:
Gabriel Jesus:
"Maybe four or five weeks more I come back." [Mail]
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4 black pen scorers and a Lewis win, this Labour Government is COOKING
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Pinero has a family LOOOOOL what is he doing
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7:35pm guys after the clocks go back
Dark skinned guys are sm handsome, not too dark, dark but dark like 6:45pm
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Jeremy Clarkson waiting for
#ALevelResultsDay2018
so he can tell us again he got a C and two Us but now he drives a Benz
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Druski sent her the tweet with “????” kmt
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In life it's not about where you come from.
You paid £70, I jumped barriers.
Here we both are in first class.
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end nyash, I mean end Insulate Britain
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Summer will cost these girls Winter Wonderland if they try to throw shade!
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‘Broke Boys FC 💉💉’
‘£45m to spend’
‘Can’t even afford Zaha 🤣🤣’
Arsenal Twitter:
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you man will go back to hating on Saka in August so I’m just laughing really
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when Michael Modern spots a girl with more than £5k in their account
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nah you man hired a consultant to run your team? are you Deloitte?
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Gyan didn’t even drop an apology post when he missed. He dropped African Girls with Castro
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when Tim Westwood was born:
1) Margaret Thatcher hadn’t entered Parliament
2) Brazil had 0 World Cups
3) Nigeria was a British Colony
4) The Queen was 31
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“look at us”
“who would’ve thought”
“not me”
Just two former Southampton managers sharing a hug as bosses of PSG and Barcelona in a Champions League knockout tie 😇
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Arsenal fans seeing the real Giroud appear when the clutch moments arrive
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women cashing in “but your mum” tweets:
You invested 1k into Bitcoin but when your mum asked for money to help pay her rent you started screwing???
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Nketiah pulling up to the Bernabeu with no G/A and two boxes of jollof
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3 wingers on 20 PL goals combined already
Leandro Trossard has accepted all the conditions offered by Arsenal on his contract — all other teams interested have been informed of his decision. 🚨⚪️🔴
#AFC
Personal terms are 100% agreed. The clubs are expected to complete the agreement very, very soon as revealed today ⏳
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“is this real” when Juve and Real Madrid twerked for him, my club is where it’s at
Benvenuto, Riccardo Calafiori 🇮🇹
Meeting new teammates for the very first time ❤️
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over 25s you know, them people who whisper “thank you Jesus” whenever they stand up
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6 trains that’s not a girl that’s Clapham Junction
So she’s had 6 trains ran on her in uni but now she’s all settled down with a man she been with for 5yrs no cheating . Is she a hoe ?
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“You’re from Croydon? Had to take a flight the last time I went there haha”
Me:
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Oh boy.
Parliament have scheduled a debate about SPAC Nation next Wednesday.
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me and the mandem in Mayfair while the plebs go to Burna Boy in June:
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‘WTF is going on baby? Still hanging around with this bitch when you still have ALLLL THIS?’
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I should be drunk in Boxpark East Croydon right now but Harry Kane didn’t square it to fucking Sterling
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uneducated celebrities thinking of pro-black phrases to tweet out because Twitter told them to
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mid-way through your deadlift set and you see her setting up the tripod
Whenever you see that woman in your gym, you gotta just go back home
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Ousmane in Stratford Gymbox trying to get fit for the game:
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When Simeone goes to Arsenal’s training ground for the first time
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If KDB approached Rihanna he’d be screaming ‘LET ME TALK’ to the security as he’s getting dragged away
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“I got a telegram!!!”
We need a love island for 30-40 year olds. Not everyday 23 and single for 1 year.
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Kwasi Kwarteng in Washington getting told to come back home by Liz
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When it was a life or death ting for you I see why you’re doing so much here
“HEY!!!
if you keep listening to Summer Walker again & again & again.. you can’t go on the big ferris wheel 😡😡”
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“How come she don’t want me man?”
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Did you have tickets to A Boogie in London? Sad that he cancelled? You can have A Boogie with me tonight! DM for more info
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Spending ps to buy a train ticket and there are no inspectors on board
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Me leaving the family Christmas dinner early after my mum calls my wife ‘big bitch’ for the fifth year running
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'Say hi to your mum for me' LOOOOL auntie we both know I'm not doing that
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Welcome back Premier League, women were making awful diss tracks while you were away
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