Brexit Pirates
@BrexitPirates
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9,649
Following
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Media
8,297
Statuses
48,874
Pirate-y, sailing-y, #RejoinEU and anti-Tory. Unashamedly hot for Penny Mordaunt. Awesome tee-shirts at . Banner: @LayeredStrange .
UK
Joined December 2021
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Bloody migrants.
Coming over here.
Saving our lives.
Keeping our hospitals clean and operational.
Delivering all manner of expert medical advice.
How bloody dare they...
200 nationalities, one NHS.
Huge thanks to everyone who has dedicated their lives to caring for others.
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Dear Clacton,
We fought them on the beaches, in the Channel Islands, in France and over the skies of London.
And now you give an actual fascist the keys to Westminster?
ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?
Silly question.
Of course you are.
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It dawned on Isabel that she'd be spending her Friday nights in Skegness for the next five years...
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Bukayo Saka's parents arrived in the UK from Nigeria as economic migrants.
If they hadn't, England would have been on their way home without even the need for extra time tonight.
Roll that up in your cigar and smoke it, Farage.
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We won't solve the problem of male violence against women if we put the fucking perpetrators in parliament.
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"No, it's written 'Farage' but it's pronounced 'Fascist'..."
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It's just struck me that Britain is now in the hands of a top human rights lawyer who has worked tirelessly to ensure everyone accused of any crime gets fair representation in court.
Rather than a banker who bet against us and gambled our money to do it.
We won, didn't we? :)
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"I was innocently removing all references to the Conservative Party from my social media accounts, posters and leaflets, when Carol Vorderman made me look like a twat..."
#CarolVorderman
#GeneralElectionNow
#LeeAnderson
#EnoughIsEnough
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I'm a 50-year-old sailor who has seen what happens when people in small boats get into trouble.
That's why, when I'm canvassed by Reform for a donation I tell them I've already given it to the RNLI.
And then I tell them to fuck off.
Try it.
It's fun...
I'm a 52 year old man from Liverpool, who isn't a dribbling simpleton who thinks a privately educated former city trader who banked with the royals,is an 'anti establishment ' man of the people.
Therefore I won't be voting reform.
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"That lamp's brighter than me even when it's not plugged in."
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If you're criticising Rayner's outfit, just wait until you see what the Johnsons did to Number 10...
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"I'll publish the legal advice I got about my house when the Tories publish the Russia report..."
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If the gammon are upset that the new Doctor Who is a black man, just wait until they hear that Ncuti Gatwa is also a refugee.
From "safe" Rwanda...
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One thing you notice right away about the people defending the mosque in Liverpool is that none of them found it necessary to wear a balaclava...
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Sort yourself out, Liz! We can almost see your tea sock!
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"So Baldrick, if we send one refugee to Rwanda, and Rwanda sends one refugee to us, what do we have?"
"Oh, that's easy sir! A corrupt fascist government desperately trying to stay in power by appealing to ignorant racists."
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Breaking: American mum stays in America to celebrate son's birthday rather than flying to London to clap at dad-in-law's new hat.
#MeghanMarkle
#Coronation
#KingCharles
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"Hello, do you have a copy of 'The Evidence Against Angela Rayner'? Oh, you don't? Then fuck off and do some proper journalism."
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Of course, some people with boobs and a bum definitely should not be allowed anywhere near politics...
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"No, it's written 'Sunak' but it's pronounced 'lying cunt'..."
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Paramedics don't demand a passport before stopping someone from bleeding out.
Firefighters don't insist on seeing proof of residency before dragging someone from a burning building?
Like the RNLI, they just get on with the job of saving lives, no questions asked.
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Minister sacked for national security breach takes charge of national security.
You really couldn't make this up.
#GeneralElectionNow
#EnoughIsEnough
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"And then they landed the first deportation flight in Congo!"
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"Look, we already took your criminals. We're not taking your fucking idiots as well."
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"He's not the messiah, he won five fucking seats..."
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"Next time you let one of them go on Question Time, check first that the cunt knows his arse from his elbow. Because if he doesn't, he's not likely to know the fucking difference between Congo and Rwanda, is he?"
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Angela Rayner's Britain is one where a working class woman who was a carer at the age of 10 and a mum at 16 can rise to become deputy leader of the governing party and, one day, prime minister.
That's the kind of Britain I'd like to see more of.
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A boring prime minister who deals calmly and sensibly with crises as they arise, offering concrete potential solutions.
Makes a nice change, doesn't it?
Keir Starmer, "Let me now turn to the actions of a tiny mindless minority in our society"
"The community of Southport had to suffer twice.. A gang of thugs got on trains and buses, went to a community that is not their own, grieving the most horrific tragedy and then proceeded
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Turns out Le Pen isn't mightier than Le Sword after all...
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"I don't give a toss if it was a planishing hammer! Do you have any idea how fucking stupid you've made the pointless cunt look?"
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"Listen, Rose. You're going to gonna get out of here. You're gonna get out of the sea and walk straight to the benefits office..."
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On this day we express our very best wishes to Elizabeth on the occasion of her 36th IQ point.
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"Trust me, Aleksandr Borys. I know what your password is. All of Moscow knows what your password is..."
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Never trust a man who has an excess of gardening implements and sleeps with animals...
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There is nothing inside that head but a tiny moth flapping around in the darkness, is there?
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"And then they were surprised when they weren't allowed to retire to Spain any more..."
#RejoinEU
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You never see them in the same room, do you?
Just saying...
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"Religious Tory hypocrites, sir! Thousands of them!"
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12,000 years... the neanderthals might have died out, but their genes live on in the Tory Party.
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Who is going to bring the Tories down?
The dog or the bone?
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No wonder Brits are outraged.
Folk living on boats at the taxpayers' expense...
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"I was innocently moving onto an election footing, when I inadvertently bombed Yemen and blamed Keir Starmer."
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"You can fuck right off, young man. I want a properly trained junior doctor, not a trainee prime minister."
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@mrmarkdolan
BECAUSE
THEY
DON'T
WANT
TO
RISK
INFECTING
ANYONE.
NOT
EVEN
PEOPLE
WHO
THINK
THEY
CAN
TELL
OTHERS
WHAT
TO
WEAR
AND
HOW
TO
LIVE
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Watch it through.
It's less than a minute.
You won't regret it.
Promise :)
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Sunak appoints Esther McVey as minister for hair.
"It's a betrayal of our agreement," Fabricant tells PM...
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On July 4, we're all Clacton.
Support Jovan if you can.
Help him put Farage back into retirement.
I’m proud to be your Labour Party Candidate here in Clacton and for the surrounding villages.
#VoteLabour
🌹
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Starmer reportedly praising Thatcher is an awful look.
But it's him or Sunak after the next election.
The priority is to get the Tories out, and nobody else stands a chance of doing it.
It's not a declaration of everlasting love.
It's a tactical move.
Don't split the vote.
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Paint over the picture of Mickey Mouse, he said.
So they did...
#RobertJenrick
#Jenrick
#MickeyMouse
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"It's important that everyone studies maths until they are 18. It's how I learned to multiply my wealth, subtract billions from healthcare, add to the misery of so many people, and divide my trouser leg from my shoe."
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This Only Fools and Horses remake looks a bit shit...
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Christmas is far too distant for Elf on the Shelf just yet.
So this'll have to do for now...
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"Hello, do you have a map of Central Africa? You do! How marvellous. Could you send it to Chris Philps, please?"
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How many school meals could we provide for the £8 million cost of hanging this in every school?
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As far as we know, no member of an RNLI crew has been convicted under UK terrorism law.
Unlike Britain First leader Paul Golding.
Support the RNLI, not the terrorists:
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Lee Anderson, Brendan Clarke-Smith, and now Jane Stevenson.
The Tory Rwanda mess has split the party, and it won't take many more resignations to bring Sunak down.
Popcorn, anyone?
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If you want the Tories out, why are you attacking Labour?
It's Starmer or Sunak at the next election in England.
That's not ideal, but it's the only choice you have.
Stop throwing your toys out of the pram, get a grip, face reality, and decide which it's doing to be.
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"You, boy! Have you got William Wragg's number?"
Tory MPs calling for William Wragg to resign over the honeytrap sexting scandal where he handed over MPs' numbers to someone he met on Grindr.
Wragg is a hard Brexiteer, part of the "Common Sense Group" of Tories 🙄 & pushes a right wing agenda against the
@NationalTrust
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Dear Clacton,
We fought on the beaches, we fought on the landing grounds, we fought in the fields and in the streets, we fought in the hills.
And what was all that for if you vote the fascist fucker in?
Never surrender. Don't vote Farage.
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It's just struck me that the only way "Tommy Robinson" is going to get back into the UK without being arrested the minute he steps foot here is by arriving illegally on a small boat across the Channel.
I shouldn't laugh.
But I'm going to anyway.
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Wasn't told to save his messages?
These are records of government business, he shouldn't have to be told!
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"It's not 'your' policy, Sunak. It's fucking plagiarism."
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"Well, yes. It's written that way but it's pronounced 'Bouquet'. You, know, like 'Anderson' is pronounced 'Cunt'."
#LeeAnderson
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"Dear diary... Kwasi said he'd charge me £10,000 a day for budget advice, but I managed to bargain him down to £14,000."
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What does excessive blinking mean?
Liz Truss stumbles over Taoiseach & ends up calling the Irish PM a tea sock.
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That's me fucked, then...
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Stephen Yaxley-Lennon's convictions cover violence, stalking, fraud, drugs and public order offences. He has also been jailed for contempt of court.
This criminal will be trying to stop a march against genocide this weekend.
But he'll be using the name Tommy Robinson.
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"No, Mr Sunak, trousers are supposed to finish there, at the bottom. What are you, six?
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In a bunker with a fucking revolver, with any luck.
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Who's going to start the petition to remove political party status from Britain First?
Oh, and drop the RNLI a donation if you can.
It's easy, takes almost no time, and you can do it online here:
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Anyone else get the feeling that Penny Mordaunt is becoming a bit too ambitious?
#PennyMordaunt
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"Think yourself lucky, Mogg. I've got to go to Clacton."
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