BeefyJackMcBeef
@BeefyJackMcBeef
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Following
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Retired, but like to think I’ve still got my marbles. Like to chat about history, politics, non-league football, rock music, food & drink. Politically homeless.
East Anglia, England
Joined September 2018
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Pinned Tweet
Our Parish Council are using geese as COVID Marshals.
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Zorro passed away yesterday, had him for 17 years from a kitten. Bloomin’ animals 😢
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This little munchkin daughter of mine received her Masters degree in law certificate today.
First, she had more GCSE’s and A levels than you could shake a stick at, then a law degree, and now a Masters.
You’ll forgive an old dude for being so, so proud.
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@TheRealJamieKay
Ah yes, I saw that, Glasgow wasn’t it? The inquiry’s findings said it was a very unusual case, it was the first time that they’d ever heard of a Scotsman putting something in a kitty🤔😉
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@growingtotruth
Was chatting to an HR lady & said ‘my wife & I’, was told I should say partner, not wife, on the grounds that if I was gay but not ‘out’ at work that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
Pointing out that I wasn’t gay & in the eyes of the law we are husband & wife cut no ice.
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@Moving_Stretch
@nytimes
@CeylanWrites
I was in a cafe that was advertising ‘Afternoon Teas’. It was around 3p.m. An American couple came in and ordered coffee. Being British the other customers all pursed our lips & gave each other knowing glances. I have reported the matter as a diplomatic incident.
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@planetjedward
1) In the 11th century Dublin became the biggest slave market in Western Europe.
2) For the Atlantic slave trade see above.
3) French, Dutch, Belgians, Spanish, Portuguese et al were all colonial powers. None of us can criticise each other unless we know our own histories.
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@joswinson
You talk of stopping Brexit as though it were a school fete that may need to be cancelled due to bad weather. Do you seriously think that if you stop it, all leavers are just going to shrug their shoulders, then skip along behind you into some fluffy non-defined future?
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@JVanden77
@Conservatives
@RishiSunak
I’m guessing that figure is in euros as The Department of Social Protection is in the Republic of Ireland.
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@catslaveto4
If only I’d known that Brexit would cause COVID, for Russia to invade Ukraine, Yemeni rebels to attack ships bring televisions from Japan and train drivers to go on strike. I feel so betrayed.
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@TVNaga01
I would not have an issue if you could honestly say that you would both have done exactly the same if it had been a Scottish Minister with the Scottish flag, or an EU Commissioner with the EU flag. If you would, then fine, if not then it is disrespectful.
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@BainzyC
@UKLabour
@Conservatives
@reformparty_uk
Once dismissed as an irrelevance the fact that some ‘luminaries’ like Alastair Campbell are attacking him daily & the BBC & C4 keep putting out negative stories whilst giving Lab/Lib/Grn an easy ride shows you how rattled the establishment are.
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@VeteranIrish
Best one I saw was ‘Despite the best efforts of the instructors, including ‘one to one’ additional tuition, officer x remains impervious to all recognised forms of training’.
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We have had to say goodbye to our beloved 12 year old Buster after a short battle with cancer. A more soppy, happy, friendly dog you could not wish to meet. We are going to miss him so much.
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Cheers! Been married 30 years today. Famalam coming round for a barbecue, so I can only apologise to the residents of West Suffolk for the inevitable rain later!
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Exactly a year ago we paid £1,000 to rescue Woody, I’ll spare you the sad details.
Within days he had spurned his comfy bed for this, what was my armchair.
We had sausages, beans & chips for tea, he had raw wild boar & blueberries, I think it’s safe to say he landed on his paws!
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@SoVeryBritish
And anyone who says ‘No sugar for me, I’m sweet enough’ as if it’s the first time anyone has ever said that…. Pelt them with rock cakes.
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@SoVeryBritish
It’s always a woman from HR that takes the jam cream, by the time it gets to you it’s either a mini pink wafer or a malted milk 😮
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@UKLabour
What about the black people who are superficially black, the black people who went to public school or the black people who don’t sound black on the radio?
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@SoVeryBritish
Drop & break a glass, the Brit would instinctively cheer (why do we do that?)
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@FoxxysTweets
@DJBURNS_was
It is still very sad, but BBC, etc. inconsistent. For example, they believed this straight away and reported as such, but took them nearly 24 hours to call the Reading terror arrack just that, even several hours after the police said they were treating it as terrorism.
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@kelvmackenzie
She wasn’t fired for her views; She was fired because the press and public found out, thus bringing the corporation into disrepute.
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@AllisonPearson
Village cricket; a hotbed of racism, sexism, misogyny & elitism.
The tea urn, the home made sandwiches & cakes, the Vicar gamely standing up to the opposition’s slow bowling, the librarian doing the scoring, the old boy nursing a pint giving advice, the polite applause. Awful 🙄
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@growingtotruth
Obviously if others choose to use the term ‘partner’ that is completely up to them, but to me a partner is someone you start a business with, dance with or play Bridge with🤓
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@SandyofSuffolk
Our last two villages we had neighbours who boasted how they’d sold their flat in London & bought a house, then started to moan about the church bells, cockerel, farm smells, tractors blocking lanes, mud on roads, lack of ‘facilities’, etc. At least the tv couple did research😉
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I’m considering an air fryer, I would be interested in the opinions of my Twitter chums please, thanks.
Got one, love it
2796
Not interested in one
766
Got one but hardly use it
634
Thinking of getting one
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@SoNowUknow2
I was at Culloden battlefield (owned by National Trust of Scotland) & trying to explain to a Scottish couple that Bonnie Prince Charlie was not fighting England but the BRITISH government, & that he had more Scots on the field AGAINST him than with him. They wouldn’t have it.
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@LincsPolice
‘Hey mate, get yourself down the city centre, it’s all kicking off, come on, few beers & a punch up!’
‘What about the police?’
‘Don’t worry, they’re all dancing & posing for photographs’
‘On my way’
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@GBNEWS
So someone from Tunisia claiming they are from Syria, no docs, false name, can’t be vetted, should be given the job of passport applications or driving licences?
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@LeoKearse
@MervusP30
Guardian readers would sit down with a nice cup of camomile tea & then take to Twitter about how this is all the fault of British colonialism.
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@YesterdaysBrit1
Walking home from the park bouncing a football, can smell all the Sunday roasts cooking…
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@MaxFarnham64
@AnnPhipps14
Years ago I was in the gents of ‘The Mulberry Bush’ pub in London, he was effing & jeffing to someone about a staff member & how he was going to insist to someone that they be sacked. Conversely, Fearn Britton was at the bar & was delightfully charming.
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@VeteranIrish
‘What is this?’
‘Its bean soup’
‘I don’t care what it’s been…. What is it now?!’
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@Cheeseo76847269
We don’t care about your hair colour, boob or bum size, your wrinkles, bags under your eyes, your cellulite, etc. We love you for who & what you are, the same as you love us baldy old gits ♥️
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Oh well, was my Dad’s funeral yesterday, seems a long time as he died on the 1st. We gave him a good send off but glad it’s all over.
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@harvingtonTR
@freespeech318
@metpoliceuk
Peckham has gone downhill since the Trotter brothers left...
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@Lordflashh3art
All the best to you both!
Taken last week, still together since we met February 15th 1989….you’ll note the date…well, I wasn’t going to fork out inflated prices on Valentine’s Day for a first date if it didn’t work out was I? I’m half Yorkshire tha’ knows 😉
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@DavidLammy
You are the third London Labour MP (Wes Streeting & Margaret Hodge) so far to use the phrase ‘dog whistle’ in relation to this.
You obviously all got the same memo from the Mayor’s office.
Would have more credibility if you could all use your own phrases rather than just theirs.
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@afneil
Come come Andrew, be fair, it is on the BBC news website…right between ‘Lost hamster reunited with boy’ & a report on potholes in Berkshire.
I expect
@mrjamesob
will be covering it Monday 😉
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@Femi_Sorry
You are probably not old enough to remember Femi but in 2011 we had a referendum about whether we wanted to go to an AV (Alternative Vote) system as opposed to FPTP (First Past The Post).
Result: Yes 6,152,607 No 13,013,123. The ‘No’s’ had it.
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@FoxNews
I ask merely for information, has the USA government ever made reparations to the Native Americans who had their lands taken?
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@YvetteCooperMP
@kent_police
So how is the whole ‘keeping us safe’ thing going then Mrs Balls?
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A few weeks ago I had a cancerous mole on my back removed. I’ve just had a letter saying it’s all gone & no further treatment needed. The point is obviously I couldn’t see it & Mrs Jack hadn’t noticed. It’s all thanks to our daughter Lorna who saw it. Be aware of your back folks.
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@Matthew_Wright
@amolrajan
@danwootton
@NewsUK
@afneil
@TheSun
@talkRADIO
Well, if the BBC maintain their current bias they will flourish. If the BBC actually broadcast factual unbiased news there would be no need for GB.
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@SaltyDuchess
@SusanHu25307477
@adilray
You know Adil, there are a certain group of folk who aren’t keen on people smugglers, illegals, etc. They are the people who have come to the UK LEGALLY, gone through all the processes, paid all the fees, etc. and are law abiding good citizens and assets to our country.
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@LalehKhalili
Parachutist pulls the ripcord but nothing happens, as he plummets, incredibly, he sees another man coming up towards him at speed.
In desperation he shouts ‘Do you know anything about parachutes?’
Comes the equally desperate reply ‘No, do you know anything about gas cookers?’.
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@acgrayling
‘Why won’t those silly Bwexiteers see that we’re better off in the EU Keith?’
‘Well Candice-Marie, not everyone has a house in Provence and a villa in Tuscany you know’
‘Well, they should write for The Guardian like us then, shouldn’t they Keith?’
‘True Candice-Marie, very true’.
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@MirandawTV
@BBC
Dunno; given your Luther comments I don’t think Ted is Northern Irish enough. He has no fellow countrymen as mates, never seen him order an ‘Ulster Fry’, drink Guinness or say ‘What’s the Craic?’. In the spirit of Diversity please rectify this; thank you.
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@bobstackle
I feel sorry for the people who have to rearrange all the stones every time the clocks go back or forward.
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@LeeAndersonMP_
@Cindersdonna
It’s an old but appropriate adage: ‘If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime’.
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@baronlordvader
Q How do you comfort an English speaking grammar teacher?
A There, their, they’re.
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@SadiqKhan
Banning youths & children from carrying knives might save lives too…just a thought.
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@uk_sf_writer
@futureking57
@BBCNews
@BBCBreakfast
@BBC
@Conservative
BBC 1971 - Good evening here is the news.
BBC 2021 - Good evening here is the news, with added raised eyebrows, sarcastic tones, barely concealed sneers, obvious head shaking and muffled snorts of derision.
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@benonwine
Misuse of the word literally; e.g. ‘If I don’t get a coffee soon I will literally die’.
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@ClaudiaWebbe
Might help if councils unblocked the drains like they used to instead of letting them pile up with earth, leaves, etc.
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@adilray
How can they be refugees from Albania? No war there & British folk go there on holiday!
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@Belinda34106799
I think it was the AA that issued a book of Britain’s best picnic A road lay-bys.
Pease Pottage on the A23 was their recommendation if driving to Brighton.
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@SteveLaws_
@LindaBa90151703
The Official UK response to terror attacks:
1) Give vapid speech, using words ‘You will not defeat us’ (but don’t be specific to avoid causing offence)
2) Publish photo showing you lighting a candle (not in a church ,to avoid offence)
3) No further action (to avoid offence)
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@alexmaccaroon
@metpoliceuk
He’ll probably get a street theatre grant by the mayor of London.
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@VeteranIrish
Did you read about the guy in Glasgow who was found guilty of bestiality? Summing up the judge said ‘It’s a rare occasion this case right enough, it’s not often ye’ll find a Scotsman putting something in a kitty’.
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@ukhomeoffice
@DJBURNS_was
You forgot to add ‘unless it is a large wedding party of 150 in the North West, then our officers will happily pose for photos with the guests’.
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@mitsyarty
@SadiqKhan
Cricket on the village green
Real ale & cider
Church bells ringing
Listed buildings
Picking wild blackberries
Walking in woods, crunching leaves
Kids collecting conkers
Cottage & Shepherds pies
Hot fruit crumbles
Local football & rugby clubs
Jumble sales
Venison
Home made jam
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Today is the Big 60 (Ulp!).
Made all the sweeter thanks to this lovely birthday cake our daughter in law made.
She knows that lemon is my favourite cake, so is a lemon curd sponge with lemon icing & associated lemony things!🥰
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@BeverleyG64
@bbclaurak
@BethRigby
About time those two were put in their place, no doubt questions would have been about ‘parties’ & ‘cake’ or some other nonsense inappropriate to the current situation.
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@markinneswilli
Mr Chamberlain, why make war on a foreign, non-smoking, animal loving vegetarian?
Mr Churchill, who pays for your cigars?
Mr Eisenhower, Did you consider climate change issues when planning D Day?
Lisa Nandy asks why more Japanese Kamikaze pilots die than white pilots, racism?
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@terrychristian
What about the business owners who voted to leave? Should they do the same with remain voters?
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Hola from Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands. Nice to see that thing in the sky, I think they call it ‘sun’ 😉
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@darrengrimes_
Has the Mayor asked that the officers be suspended for interfering with the stabber’s ‘yuman rights’? I hope those injured make a full recovery 🤞
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@BurnsideNotTosh
Ask Jedward, they seem to be the recognised authority on British history these days 😉.
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@nigella_i5e
@LBC
@talkRADIO
@Iromg
@danwootton
@iancollinsuk
I’ll give it a try; thanks. Cannot take O’BRIEN anymore, I’m as broad minded as the next guy, but I can only take so much....
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@CaroleLomb
Harry : “….take him on bike rides which is something I was never able to do when I was young”.
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@Rebartic
Vorderman is about to discuss Rayner…I wonder if she is for or against… oh, she’s already calling it a witch-hunt so that answers that 😉
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@ClaudiaWebbe
Your tenuous grasp of world events is rather worrying given that you are an MP.
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@mitsyarty
‘I cannae believe it Corp….I just met the Duchess and she had the cheek to ask me where I was from!’
‘Outrageous laddie, I’ll tell the Colonel & ask him tae get a BBC news crew here straight away…where there’s blame there’s a claim’.
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@paulJpitt67
The BBC have issued a warning for birdsong tomorrow at dawn. You are advised to close all windows but if your journey is necessary you should wear ear defenders when outside.
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@Andyplumb4_
@LozzaFox
According to the PCEA 1984, if arrested & placed in custody you must be offered refreshments every 2 hours (apart from during a designated 8 hour rest period)
You or your solicitor can request a copy of the custody record.
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@JamieRightly
@SadiqKhan
. Can you ensure this gets publicity to assist in the assailant being apprehended please?
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@LBC
@Matthew_Wright
I’m no AW fan but you were rather puerile there Matthew, bit of grown up debate wouldn’t go amiss. Serious subjects should be treated seriously.
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@SoVeryBritish
The lady who has a large designer handbag so can’t leave it at her table. Has it in one hand whilst spooning out tiny portions of Special K & fruit salad in bowls & dunking a green teabag in hot water with the other. Every time she turns trays, plates & cups are knocked over.
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@Belinda34106799
Used to love ‘Out of Town’ too, beautiful music.
Mind, I was always worried our Jack was going to set everything on fire with that pipe 😳
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