And you can tell your grandchildren that I may or may not have been notable 🥂

There’s a Scottish guy announcing the football match and he just said our winger was twisting and turning like a cheap garden hose and our striker’s failed shot attempt was a garlic milkshake

@ThirdEyeMastery @Amyjj11 Holy SHIT it is WAY too late to drop this on me right now

@TrollFootball Hey just so you know, some of us are Americans and thought this was another news headline

@DevonESawa Aw man, I would have snatched those up for $150 or less 🤷🏻‍♀️

@NILES100 The best restaurant in the entire world is Thai Village on Muldoon. It’s not fancy, but I’d choose them for my last meal. See the Turnagain arm if you can, it’s mindblowing. It’ll prob be too cold, but if there’s people on the street downtown selling ‘plate lunch’, do it.

RT @lahighnote: THIS THURSDAY, 1/30, WE KICK OFF THE YEAR WITH A JAM PACKED SHOW! Whitmer Thomas @GianmarcoSoresi @sammymowrey @ellorysmi…

@rosiecd ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

RT @michaelkent: In Iceland, residents throw baby puffins off a cliff. Sounds cruel, but it's part of a conservation strategy. In this epi…

Me not caring that TikTok went tiks up:

@joaquinlife I think you’ll need more smoke for Alice In Chains

@SmithQJohns AAAAAH

@CleanAirLA I don’t get nervous working with famous people but I feel like whenever I finally meet you guys it’s going to be like I’m meeting Elvis 🤩😍😷

Usually here in LA we would have also had an earthquake by now

@BonerWizard I thought it was late 80s Freddie Mercury

I just saw a guy in the Burbank airport in a full elf costume and his facial expression said that he really did not want to be asked about it

I’m sorry but Miss Piggy’s execution of “What?” after they tell her the figgy pudding is made with bacon in the Muppets’ We Wish You A Merry Christmas is the most flawless audio performance I’ve ever heard

RT @nivaashkenazi: Looking forward to seeing @OphiraE, @mattkirshen, and @BeckyFromAlaska at this year's @kungpaokosher comedy show at SF's…

Are… WE the riffraff?