Bart Parks
@BartParks
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78th generation farmer. My tweets are fully sponsored by BaySanto, Dow-DuPont, and Syngenta. They love me.
Johnson, KS
Joined November 2011
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Saw Clay today. He started growing his beard when 88 was due. Looks like Santa Claus now 😂
#88
’
The herd has shown up here just as the full moon rises. They are banging around and rubbing on corrals
Socially they are checking in on her but I expect they will walk away in a bit. She has laid down for a spell.
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My wife hasn’t spoken to me in 30 minutes because I ate the last of the cottage cheese, if you’re wondering what marriage is like.
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There’s a sticky note in my grandma’s car that says “stop at stop signs”
Lord, help us all.
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What would happen if farmers had a generally positive attitude instead of the default negative? When was the last time the coffee shop old men weren’t complaining? Christ sakes, have some enthusiasm, or quit.
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April 25th seed change: "lets clean out boxes/meters really good guys"
May 31st seed change: "just dump that shit on top, who cares"
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Nicest tractor I’ve ever been in. Can’t figure out how to justify $500k+ tho
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To whoever said spraying at 25 mph was ridiculous.... eat my ass
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PSA: When a tractor is pulled over waiting for you to pass, drive faster than 8 mph for a half mile coming up to it.
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Holy shit, listening to SW Kansas police scanner, there’s some wild stuff happening. Trucks are flipping while sitting, a SPRINKLER rolled across the highway.
STAY OFF THE ROADS
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Do you think people in Europe come across a 9/16 bolt head and say “goddamn SAE sizes”??
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If you work all night, is it acceptable to mix a drink when you get home at 8am?
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People from non rural areas will never know the disappointment of driving 30 miles on Christmas Eve to your favorite liquor store, only to find it closed.
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Just bought a tractor via text message, from a dude I met on Twitter.
The times they are a changin’
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Sandwiches taste better when someone else makes it for you. Fact
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Recent rain has fully recovered this wheat from drought conditions. We estimate 73 bpa.
#wheattour21
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I've been spraying for over an hour, and I didn't have the radio on.
My god, I'm turning into my dad.
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This is what I gathered from the inauguration speech: Unity. Heal. Restore.
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“There’s no money in farming”
*goes skiing in Switzerland*
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“I’ve never seen your farm, but you’re doing it wrong”
-Twitter
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If you have ever owned a gas weed eater, you understand.
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It's not getting better outside. There's supposed to be an 8' tree between those T posts.
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Whoever rolls up the air hose with grease smeared on it should be tarred and feathered.
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She’s leaning on the Deere parts counter.
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This dude has the biggest balls in the world. Not a damn chance I would do that.
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If you think hemp will be a cash cow, you’re delusional.
A whole industry has to be developed.... who’s going to process a million acres of fiber and oil?
It’s been legal in Canada for 20 (?) years, sure don’t hear much about a thriving hemp economy up there.
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I guess if this farming thing doesn’t work out I could go into the custom cornhole board business.
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The UPS guy is literally backed up to my garage. This is outta control
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This tractor was badass back in the day. I'm the gangster on the top step.
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GUYS... They used a GD bulldozer to drag a snake out of a hole! My blood pressure may never be normal again.
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Some lady getting roadside sobriety test at 10:30 am. That’s some kind of special.
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Who could’ve seen this coming?.... 🙄
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First fish the kid has ever caught is a 6# rainbow. Lucky dog
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Remind me in 30ish years to have my equipment auction in December with a bull market. Jeezus.
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Unpopular opinion: Chris Stapelton isn’t that great and WAY overplayed.
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Say what you will, but I’m excited about electric pickups. Think they’ll be perfect for farm use.
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If anyone is rioting at Home Depot tonight, I could use a new riding lawnmower and some plywood.
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I’m “walk around a 120’ sprayer boom so I don’t have to crouch” years old.
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Corn growers:
Oh gawd, it’s raining every 5 days, shallow root syndrome is horrible. Write this shit off.
Oh gawd, it hasn’t rained in 12 days, looks like 2’ pineapples. It’s ded.
*eyes rolling like a 13 y/o girl
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Gave my grandma an hour notice I'd be there for lunch. Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, homemade bread.
Grandmas are awesome
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Bud Light doesn’t give a shit about farmers. If they didn’t think it would be a net win, they wouldn’t have ran the ad. Quit being stupid.
*cracks open a BL
*eats a Chipotle burrito
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Wouldn’t it be exciting if weather forecasters actually knew what the hell they were doing?
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March - “I’m ready for this yard to green up, maybe do some mowing.”
August - “Swear to god, I’m going to spray this grass dead, and put a hammer through that f’n mower.”
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Did I put it in park or shut the a/c off? Who knows, it’s a dodge
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When your dad says “there’s a bit of a grumble in the front end”
THERE WERE NO BALLS LEFT IN THIS BEARING
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They should make spray boom reaction speed based on how hard you’re poking the fkn button.
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The kid informs me she has an ugly sweater party upcoming.... “do you think someone has a KU sweater I could borrow?”
Yep, she’s definitely mine.
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Instituted a 1 hour of reading, for 1 hour of iPad, for the kid this summer.
I really don’t care if she reads (I never did), but hope she learns to be content being bored, or being outside.
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School cancelled rest of year. I’m headed to the liquor store if anybody needs something.
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When we first married, the wife was “medium, medium well”. Now she just picked out the rarest parts of a tri tip I just cooked. The training is progressing.
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I can only imagine how stupid they’re going to portray us.
America was built on farming and agriculture, but we rarely meet the families who work tirelessly to feed our nation. We’re changing that. The
#AmericanFarm
premieres TONIGHT at 10/9c.
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If you're planting corn, and don't tell twitter, are you really planting corn?
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Just opened a beer, threw the bottle in the trash, and set the cap on the counter.
Maybe I should just go to bed.
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My house has 2 temperatures; either unspreadable butter, or melted butter.
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Jesus tits! Are you gonna have to dismantle the whole tractor in the field?!
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This new variety of wheat looks almost ready for harvest. Row spacing too wide for top yields. 53 bpa
#wheattour21
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Greatest thing about twitter is how many people you find just like you, when you think you're waaay out there.
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There’s a Zima bottle in the shop trash can, and now someone has to be fired.
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My darling wife is ironing shirts for me, I think it’s about time to mix a drink and tell her she’s doing it wrong.
Liven things up around here.
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With the gruesome pics and stories going around, I sprung for a silicon ring.
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Did you really do a good deed if you don’t tell people on social media?
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@jerodmcdaniel
I don’t farm to make food, I farm to make money. Sure, there’s the nostalgia effect, “oh, I’m doing the same thing, on the same field as my grandpa”, but my number 1 goal is profitability.
Probably get thrown to the wolves for that comment.
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Is your truck broken down, bald tires, no exhaust, no brakes, body panels falling off?
Sell it to a silage harvester.
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All the wheat farmers acting like they’ve never seen a freeze before. Round 6387524
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