❄️Professor Winter❄️
@BardOfWinter
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Following
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Nerd. Genderqueer. Heathen antics VA. Problematic fave. 44. They/Them. No minors. Me: My ko-fi:
Arctis Tor
Joined August 2021
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Thinking about.... Heavy girls in microbikinis. The way that the string emphasizes the pudginess and how the absurdly small bits of fabric just look so strangely hot compared to even just being naked and all that skin that just needs to be touched...
You're all so damn hot. 😍
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This is a reminder:
Charge your toys.
Or if your toys are less electronic and more an adorable doll, kiss your toy on the forehead and tell them they're doing a good job.
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I think the most common misconception is that most of NSFW Twitter is here to be horny. I mean, that's part of it, yeah. But, really, I think more people are just here to be honest about themselves in ways they can't necessarily in the rest of their lives.
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Some people think the point of polyamory is to have a lot of sex. This is incorrect.
The point of polyamory is so, when you die, you have a group of hot people to team up, avenge your death, maybe make out, and hopefully tap the dark powers of necromancy to resurrect you.
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@elliespendejo
"trivializing sexual assault or abuse"
Like conflating people's consensual choices with sexual assault or abuse? Like speaking in a manner that implies that only women have been sexually assaulted or abused? Like talking over other survivors of sexual assault or abuse?
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@motivatefenty
And this doesn't even have the one that stands out in my mind:
Will Schuester trying to dissuade Rachel from having a crush on him by singing a mash-up of Young Girl and Don't Stand So Close To Me, both songs about men who have crushes on women who are inappropriately young.
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You're in her DM? I'm in her DM. She's sitting on her DM's face. This D&D session is off the rails.
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@adamtotscomix
I gotta ask, was the croissant part of the request or did he add it as a prop?
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@ask_aubry
So they don't really seem to talk but he will "closely follow her social media accounts"... You mean you stalk her online, dude.
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@ask_aubry
I don't know, buddy, maybe you're having problems with dating not because you're "nice" or not "thug" enough, but because you're saying "she's wearing clothes that I find attractive, that's a lot like cheating."
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@ask_aubry
Wow, I thought it started bad, but that last paragraph was just a new level of terrible.
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@ask_aubry
Girl: *posts about being happy for her dad*
Guy: "This is what girls are trying to take away from us"
Wow.
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@mintychocoluvr
@RahulKohli13
Dude gives the mildest take on someone dying and people still feel the need to drag him for it. He didn't say she was a saint or anything, he literally just said he isn't a fan of the monarchy, but hey, it sucks for people when a family member dies. Have some perspective.
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@ask_aubry
Really, he's more nervous that his wife will understand exactly what was going on.
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@livebylyrics17
@stanzipotenza
I was 5 when my girlfriend wasn't even born yet, how disgusting. Good thing we didn't meet for another three decades.
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Skirts with no panties is hot, yes.
But, please consider:
Skirts with panties, so that the skirt is shoved up over your hips and the panties are pulled to the side because they just fucking NEED you so badly that they can't even waste the time to pull them down.
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@stanzipotenza
Okay, that top in the graduation photo, that's fantastic.
And "the guy on the ground to film a severed bloody hand" just absolutely fits my idea of the sort of person who would raise someone with your talent and humor. 😅
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@adamtotscomix
Oh, damn.
I was thinking, "Is that number poison control?"
But I thought too small.
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@FlLMDORK
Because their main actor got his feelings hurt that the show was focusing too much on her character, and they had to rework everything.
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Yes, I'm polyamorous. Yes, I'm stupidly possessive. Yes, I'm obviously an idiot. We exist.
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@ask_aubry
"Women are like children"
Says the guy who is suggesting that you go sulk for a couple days if a woman doesn't want to have sex.
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Also going to echo another sentiment I saw:
Be upset with Lovense the company for what they did.
Do not transfer that energy onto people who have already purchased their products and continue to use the items they already own, especially those who use it as SWers.
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@Staceballs
@ask_aubry
My brain read that as nature designed Halloween parties for that, and now I'm just imagining a branch of evolutionary biology dedicated to the development of parties through time. 😅
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Look. Y'all. I may break some hearts here, but, we have to be realistic.
Loki is not a Dom.
Loki is the brattiest fucking sub you have ever known. And when he's broken, he's so damn obedient. I'm sorry, but look at this picture and tell me it isn't the truth.
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Say you'll fuck the brat out of them as much as you want, you know it won't last.
But draining the brat out of them, getting them to melt at your words, making them ache for your touch, until they need your approval and can't even brat anymore? Now that's fun *and* is permanent.
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Missionary with his rosary dangling over your face, eyes closed, whispering prayers as he asks for forgiveness for violating his vows even as he fucks you harder, groans echoing in the empty chapel, stained glass images of saints looking down at you as your head falls back in ecs
missionary with his chain dangling over my face would fix me
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Not babygirl in a ddlg way, but babygirl in a "buying you a diner milkshake and hyping you up by telling you what a wonderful, kind, funny, warm, curious, good-hearted person you are and you deserve to know that" way, because that's what bards do, babygirl.
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@thatssoryannb
@NOLAGOTH
This place is blowing up but not in the way they wanted. But the way they deserve.
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@jaxajueny
@CountessofSext
Monarch of a predatory empire defends dying monarch of other predatory empire.
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@ask_aubry
Buddy, maybe explain that restraining order before anyone is supposed to feel sorry for you.
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@ask_aubry
"Well, I found a book by a woman written 50 years ago that supports what I'm saying, so obviously it's all a con. Women who died in childbirth were just being SO dramatic."
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The neurodivergent urge to tell someone, "I think you're super-cool and I kinda want to bug you all the time even when I don't have anything to say but also I worry that I'm super-annoying about it so I don't want to bother you too much and- oh god this is already so long, sorry-
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Audio porn is just always great, but audio porn recorded by someone specifically thinking about you? Fuck. So good. So incredible. Just the absolute best.
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Remember, sweet girl, these two things:
Don't look away, I want your eyes locked on mine.
And say thank you every time I slap that pretty face of yours.
Understand? That's my good girl, let's begin.
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Shhh, no, no, no, sweetheart. Stop apologizing.
I mean stop apologizing like *that*. I don't want words.
Apologize by sucking on my fingers, and maybe if you're convincing enough, I'll unzip my pants and let you show me how much else you can apologize to me.
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Kidnapping you.
Not letting anyone know. You told your family you were visiting friends for a couple months. Didn't let on to our mutual online friends- don't want to ruin the surprise, right? Road trip!
You trust me enough to fall asleep while I'm driving? Bold choice, sugar.
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@AubryAndrews
All we had were male authors- Jake Austen, Mike Angelou, Daniel Steele, George Elliot, and, of course, the Bronte Brothers.
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You know what's underrated? Cumming inside a sub and staying there, talking softly, making jokes, feeling them clench around you when they laugh, feeling your cock twitch inside them when they clench, hearing them gasp when you twitch, needing to kiss them when they gasp, gettin-
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It's been a while since I've called some of you out, right?
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@ask_aubry
"I might not talk to you anymore am blocking you"
Gosh, what a tragic turn of events for her. 🙄
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Not a Dom as in "I'll fuck the brat out of you," Dom as in I have annoying patience, I'll learn all your buttons, I'll laugh and tease and let you exhaust yourself until you're so frustrated give me a quiet, pouty, whimpered, "Fine, please?" before I take what's mine.
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Look. The sex is secondary.
What I really want? To give you a place to be safe in. To give you somewhere you feel comfortable and can relax and don't have to worry. A place where you can be yourself.
And then the reward for both of us is finding out who we truly can be.
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Making you cum so much that you forget your name is a good start.
Making you cum so much that you can only remember the name you call me is even better.
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@AubryAndrews
"I will take legal action." Do it, I'm sure the legal system would be thrilled. 🙄
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Health care companies targeting niche markets for their products.
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"GiRlS wItH DeEp VoIcEs CaN'T bE SuBs or-"
You really telling me you didn't know that even a husky can be the sweetest li'l puppy? Sounds like a you problem.
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Hey, can you do me a favor?
Go stand in front of a mirror for a second. Best if you aren't wearing anything other than underwear on your lower half, but whatever works.
Look at yourself. Check out those hips. And remind yourself:
You are so fucking biteable.
Cool, thanks!
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For this lesbian visibility week, I'd like to introduce my new M4F audio.
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Having her suck my cock while I scroll through her DMs and laugh at the messages from the guys who want to use her the way I do and never will.
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Oh, sweetheart, no, I didn't say I wanted a blowjob.
I said I was going to fuck your face.
If you don't know the difference, it's okay. I'll show you.
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Hey. You want to do me a favor? Do three things for me:
1. Drink some water.
2. Charge your toys.
3. Say something you like about yourself out loud.
That's a good girl. Now have a good day. 💚
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Oh, baby, was it a long day? Stressful? It's okay, I've got you.
How about I hold you down on the bed and use that vibrator on you until you scream?
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Do it. Reward her when she does something good.
Encourage her to do good things for herself. Explore non-sexual dominance if that's something you're both into. It doesn't always have to be in the bedroom.
Just praising someone you care about feels nice, doesn't it?
The dominant urge to call her a "good girl" whenever she does basic self-care
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@buceoman
@TheSmuttyRogue
Champ, women have to have respect for you before they can lose it, you don't need to share your L like this.
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Do not ever tell me you have a praise kink, because I apparently enjoy exploiting the fuck out of that.
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@goodboytheo
@MUSHR00MMUTTZ
"Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have "two" sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders."
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Wife's partner is hanging out.
Wife: "Did you eat something? Are you okay?"
Meta: "I'm good."
*pause*
Me: "I notice that only one of the questions was answered. Hey, [meta], did you eat something?"
Meta: "...no."
Look, keeping people fed is part of what I do.
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@ask_aubry
She says anywhere but his house and he assumes she means he has to take her somewhere nice. Dude, she said anywhere, hang out at a coffee place and get to know each other.
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Why am I polyamorous and in long distance relationships, you ask? Well, you see, I was born with a poet's soul and in order to maximize my potential for eternal yearning...
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Queen.
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I don't want to get too dirty here, but...
Want to come over and hang out all afternoon while I spend a few hours making ragu and bechamel and meatballs to make lasagna? You don't have to help, just sit on the counter, get me drinks, and I'll come kiss you every so often.
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A bit about me.
🌟Call me Winter
🌟Level 41
🌟Genderqueer nerd
🌟They/he
🌟Polyam, married
🌟Bi disaster
🌟Miswired brain
🌟Back to recording NSFW audio in a new name
🌟Soft Dom, hard kinks
🌟Lifelong flirt
🌟Bad at introductions?
🌟Feel free to ask stuff or chat
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Polyamorous in the streets, "show me who your perfect little cunt belongs to, that's right, it's all mine, cum for me, baby, show me how hard you cum for me, you're all mine" in the sheets.
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❄️Call me Winter or Professor
❄️Level 43
❄️Silver-Tongued Bard
❄️Genderqueer (They/them)
❄️Polyam, married, bi disaster
❄️Soft Dom, hard kinks, warm vibes
❄️Eternal flirt
❄️Audio smut, nerd shit, dad jokes
❄️DMs open for whatevs
No age in bio or pinned? Private account? Blocked
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@OddOblivion
I loved your rainstorm's early work in the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books.
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Hey, baby. Hey, shush for a second, just look up at me. Let me see those pretty eyes. No, don't worry, you don't need to talk, just nod yes or no. Oh, I know you're nervous, it's okay! It's just a simple question, just don't get it wrong.
Do you want to be my favorite victim?
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Oh, sweet pet, don't look at me like that.
I mean it. Don't look at me. Eyes down, on the floor. On your knees. You know the position. That's it. Hands behind your back. Open your mouth. Tongue out.
Now you're going to sit and drool like a messy little thing for me. Understand?
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You need a little distraction, baby? Some attention? Get on my lap. Right fucking now. Open that mouth. Tongue out. And... Hold it there. Drool for me, sweetness. Make a mess of yourself. God, you look like such a dumb little toy. Finally making the outside and inside match now.
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We'll play a game, baby. Every time you cum for me, I'll draw a little star on your shoulder. It's a reward for being such a good girl for me!
And then when we go out, you'll wear a shirt that shows them off, so everyone can see those pretty constellations you've earned from me.
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Maybe I could have been normal, but when I was a teenager, I heard Drusilla ask Spike if he loved the parts of he couldn't see, and he answered, "Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet," and that doomed me to be who I am forever (an overdramatic bisexual romantic obsessed with words)
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