Not Infinitely Wealthy Obasan
@BabylonStalker
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Following
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43 | she/they | 🔞 | 🐍🐉🀄️ | Grouchy professor | Multifandom bullshit: @ClimatrolMadDog | Stream Go Lives: @Infernal_Plays | Banner by GeeFee_Art
The Hole
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Psst…want some fics? Course ya do. The Den of Debauchery crew has you covered.
@G0ROCHAN
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@mortemirxx
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@sotenborisimp
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And me! -
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“Be not afraid, Kiryu-chan.”
Biblically accurate Majima.
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There’s a word for that…
I love how everyone forgets Kiryu had an actual girlfriend in Y5.
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That’s it. Someone finally did it. I can die happy.
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Me last night being salty about something or other in Kiwami 2. "Hmph. You wouldn't be so tough if you had googly eyes on that irezumi would you?"
Aaaaand here we are.
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Completely obsessed with
@sotenborimanlet
‘a Mad Duck of Shimano and his little steel tipped duck shoes so…have ducky breaker style. 😅
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These fight title intros are getting oddly specific.
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My mom plays Stardew and she sends me updates about her farm with no context at all. Once got a middle of the night text “Harvey wants me to dance with him and I don’t want to because I think he’s weird.”
She got a panicked text back WHO IS HARVEY?! Thought she’d had a stroke.
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I hear we’re simping for Majima sliding across the pavement with sparky feet this week. So here’s one last take on
@sotenborimanlet
’s Mad Duck of Shimano doing that.
Also a sloppy one of him ripping off his shirt to throw down at Millennium Pond I guess.
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I wanted to draw biblically accurate Majima again.
Poor thing...being a divine messenger is hard.
And as for Kiryu, he really regretted running from an angel when that virgin birth took him completely by surprise.
“Be not afraid, Kiryu-chan.”
Biblically accurate Majima.
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@maji_makos
This is also the man who not only tried to stand behind a pole to hide, but then peeked out from behind said pole in the most obvious way possible. Subterfuge is not his strong suit.
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Welcome to another edition of "the stupid shit I gave Amy as a reference." Please enjoy my fantastic renditions of everyone's irezumi. I was going to lie and say I did them on a speeding bus going down a bumpy road but...uhh..no that's just how I am.
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@SHOOREHPlPPl
This better be the only promise he keeps because, so help me god, the first person that draws him being the one to turn off Kiryu's life support because he said he was the only one that could kill him? I will fling that person into the sun without a moment's hesitation.
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@CraneCulture
The really important question is how do they celebrate and does it involve small party hats because if not what’s the point?
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@SHOOREHPlPPl
These fights are always so confusing to me. Like oh no more fans supporting a franchise I love. More people making fan content. Anything but that. 🤦🏼♀️
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Majima would absolutely buy that giant worm Halloween costume and think it was a great foreplay idea.
“Kiryu-chan~ Come on…you know what to do with worms, dontcha stud?”
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@G0ROCHAN
Ngl I was wondering if it was dried blood that wasn’t washed out properly. The probabilities of what would cause that are either depressing (the hole) or hilarious (he signed up for a drug trial that makes you shit blood as part of a subquest). Either seems possible. 😒
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Not sure whether to laugh about all the tweets freaking out about ages in RGG or cry about them. Y'all I promise life doesn't end at 30. 😒
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I promised
@grubbooba
I’d share my nose references so to anybody that *doesn’t* love Majima’s nose
1.) Why tf not?
2.) Sorry for three tweets worth.
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I honestly don't care what happens in 8. I'm just loving that everyone's reaction was stuffing their fingers in their ears and churning out a fucking ocean of fan-content copium.
Remember, kids, if you don't like the canon hit the fics.
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@sotenborimanlet
“Uncle Kaz! You’re alive!”
“Haha yeah about that….”
“Remember that time you told Uncle Goro that fighting is your love language?”
“Ye-“ *Tiger Dropped into oblivion by Haruka*
Haruka now screaming like a feral maniac: “I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN”
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My favorite part of Yakuza 3 combat was the goofy ass loot drop descriptions.
What man doesn’t dream of being handed a snot-covered 50,000 yen?
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@gentlesbeard
My boyfriend (M48)’s friends want me (M49) to wear a cat bell so I can’t sneak up on them because I “traumatized” them. WIBTA if I didn’t take the bell off while I rail my boyfriend so said friends have to listen to it ringing at all hours?
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@maji_makos
The “Haruka disapproves of this” glare was honestly my favorite part of K1 (which is saying something because she’s competing against Majima Everywhere)
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WIBTA if I (M 41) crashed a truck into a soap land to get the attention of my (M 37) crush? I tried staging the zombie apocalypse to get closer to him and he didn’t think it was funny.
I think he’s just being unreasonable.
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I hope everyone is having a lovely *checks notes* Heat Stroke Countermeasure Day.
今日は「熱中症対策の日」！
塩！塩！塩！塩！塩！塩！
塩分とれよ！！！！！！！
※実際は、ちゃんと経口補水液などで対策しましょう👍
#龍が如く
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Still working on header images for the short stories. Can I interest you in domestic fluff with a side of cake? (Ok yes I know they have too much 🍑 but I also remembered to make Majima a hair taller than Kiryu so give me that.)
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#KazuMajiWeek2023
Day 1: First Meeting.
Lord help me I tried to do ukiyo-e. This was...not great.
But anyway, here's to that special day where you meet the person you want to annoy the shit out of in this lifetime and every subsequent one.
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At 42 I was writing lewd stories about sad old video game men and making shit drawings of them.
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I’d just like to take this opportunity to remind people to download the fics they especially enjoy. Not just in case of DDOS but in case an author just deletes them one day.
Not me still haunted 20 years later by the amazing fic that was deleted while I was reading it. 😭
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@GazKamurocho
Also, though, this is the most relatable thing ever. Majima seems like he'd be a big fan of "this meeting could've been an email." 🤣
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@haikaisenshi
@sotenborisimp
I feel like Akiyama absolutely needs some cute dolphins or something on either side of the heart too. Or his astrology sign or something. I feel like he'd go big or go home with this.
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Fandoms are so funny. I’ve never given someone a picture of two sad middle aged criminals enjoying an unsafe handy on a balcony as a birthday present before. And yet here we are. 🥳
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Finished the cover image for the short stories and I’m actually really proud of how it turned out…? 🫣
Anyways. “Dreams of Starry Skies and You and Me” …eight short stories based on Twitter prompts I was given - dropping next week!
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@jesssjimas
"I thought the discs should touch grass since it'll be a long time till you do again if you try to platinum these games."
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**K2 spoilers**
The order I played the games in was 0, DS, K1, K2, 3.
Imagine my disappointment when I got to the end of K2.
“Haha but he’s in DS so he survived the explosion, right?”
…
“HE SURVIVED THE EXPLOSION, RIGHT??”
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Lads….I’m never complaining about RGG merch again. Ever.
New SH merch collab with Konami dropped
My questions:
1) Is "graphic design their passion?"
2) why is their own branding so big? I thought Silent Hill was made by Konami not Online Ceramics (I could be wrong tho)
3) $270 dollars for the SH2 pants?! wth
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My intro to the RGG games was 0 and I’m now so torn on whether this was a bad choice.
On one hand it was such a good game it got me hooked.
On the other hand I’m noticing so many things on my second playthrough that I would’ve appreciated more if I had at least played K1.
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@maji_makos
I’d like to think Majima’s progression from point A to point B is filled with regret and badly rationalizing how since the tax exists because of him he should be exempt.
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So….uh….remember my buddy that was a turning into the world’s biggest Rikiya stan? 🫣
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Did someone say lewd mahjong? No? Well...WHY THE FUCK NOT? New fic plus amazing art from
@miamiero
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Look at these polygons. So innocent. I just want to pat him on the head and tell him to pursue a nice nonviolent career that leads to a happy life with (insert ship of choice.)
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Idk who runs this damn Revelations blog, but I'm glad that me tripping over a pigeon and faceplanting without dropping my coffee amused you so much you insensitive prick. 🖕
tweet like the yakuza series was real
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@L0ST_VEGAS
When I was 15 I started having pain so bad with my periods I’d literally pass out.
Went to the ER asked if it could be endometriosis. “Nope you’re pregnant.”
“But I’m a virgin..?!”
“You’re lying.”
Three years and TWENTY SIX pregnancy tests later…it was endometriosis.
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Got a fic idea you haven't had time to write? Need a drawing for your fic? Want to support a good cause? I'm accepting comms and 100% of it goes to charity. Go here for more info ->
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#KazumajiWeek2023
Day 3 - Karaoke Kings (aka “The Kappa had never heard such bullshit.)
I’m super obsessed with @ .Pseudochel‘s adorable vector style so I tried to do a tribute to that kinda. 😅
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Infinite Wealth? Never heard of her. Kiryu's happily retired and perfectly healthy and living in Hawaii. My uncle works at Sega he told me so.
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I had to make a Venn diagram for work and then I thought....well fuck I've got these perfectly good circles it'd be a shame not to put them to good use for this brilliant observation that surely nobody's made before. 🙃 (Yes, Edo is installed on my work laptop don't @ me)
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“Mummy, why are those men fighting?”
“….I’ll tell you when you’re older.” 😳
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I’m over here going “ok but can we have naked and confused Majima” but then I realized they might combine it with our demands for grey haired Majima and give us Like An Old Folks Home For Dragons. ☠️
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@sotenborimanlet
SKSJSJS....oh my god their faces are killing me.
"What's going on here?"
"Well...see, the zipper on his pants broke. And he was leaning down to pull them up when one of his contact lenses fell out. Which is why I'm on the floor. I was...helping him look for it." 👉👈
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#KazuMajiWeek2023
Day 2 - Changing Seasons. Have some soft Ishin boys smoochin' under a tree. (Zoom in on them if you can I'm so happy with how they came out they're so cute).
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Short Kazumaji stories up now!! Based on Twitter prompt suggestions from
@sotenborisimp
,
@YaGrrrlBlue
,
@CraneCulture
and more. Smut, zombies, the afterlife, post-retirement nonsense, and...hey where did these keys come from??
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So I was about to publish this fic, and all of a sudden this chick in bondage gear bursts in calling herself one of the 4 Smut Queens of Kamurocho. And she throws my fucking laptop OUT THE WINDOW.
Hate this city so much I’m moving back to Sotenbori I fckin swear…
tweet like the yakuza series was real
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Can I interest you in some foxy scantly clad Wagi? 😘
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Glad I’ve got 4.5 games before I get to 8. Fr my mom’s in remission, my husband’s had it twice after it came out of remission, my best friend is recently diagnosed and hers is bad. Lost my boss to it. I’ve had it twice.
I just…don’t need cancer in my games too right now. 🫠
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*quietly waits for someone to write about how Majima benothinged Kiryu’s ass*
Word of the Day: BENOTHINGED (adj.) utterly destroyed, annihilated
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#KazuMajiWeek2023
Day 5 - Domestic Bliss. Manifesting this for the end of 8. I know I won't get it, but you can't take my delusions from me dammit.
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A year ago I had the very beginning of RGG brain worms. And now I’ve got …a Google drive full of half assed fanfiction and a fucking Hannya on my arm and ✨friends✨ and shit. What even happened…? Thank you strange middle aged pixel criminals I love you.
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“Real ykz use a game pad.”
Nah fam, real ykz break out the keyboard and mouse and finish that stupid ass car chase on the first attempt. 😤
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Having very little knowledge of Ishin until they started dropping teaser content I have to say my expectations have changed.
I thought I was going to be hyped for swords and eye candy.
What I’m actually hyped for is farming with Haruka and racing chickens.
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I know I said I was going to write for Kazumaji week but I've realized I am just completely and utterly burnt out. So I'm drawing. I'm drawing the softest, fluffiest bullshit imaginable.
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They worked this year!! It was broken last year😂
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If you’re worried about someone dying just remember this series has a 1990s soap opera concept of death. Either they’re not really dead or they have a twin.
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I’ve spent all day at the emergency vet with one of my doggos. While I’m sitting here I look over and the husband is reading the “why do women find Majima hot” article and I’m just here like…
(Doggo is hopefully fine but good healing karma is appreciated.) 😣
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Y'all....
@kazumajizine
preorders open on the 23rd. And having seen a lot of the art and writing that's going in it trust me. You want this. You want it baaaad. As bad as Kiryu wants worms. Also the cover reveal is up and it's ✨ glorious ✨
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@SlowPiracy
Ed being so focused on that letter that he just casually choked the guy one handed so he could read it was great. And the two of them kicking ass so they could get to each other was amazing.
I loved all of it.
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Alright I think it’s officially midnight where you are so happy birthday
@G0ROCHAN
!! 🎊🎉 For your present I drew the balcony scene from the latest chapter of red petals in the dark. And if y’all aren’t reading it you SHOULD.
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Got to the bit on Y3 where Kiryu refuses Majima’s help and the husband referred to him as a “sad snakeskin doormat” because he always does what Kiryu asks. And that’s it…it’s stuck now. He’s now the Sad Snakeskin Doormat. 🐍
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It’s positively criminal that they didn’t name one of the racing chickens Hen Tie.
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Wish we’d had Haruka before Kiryu’s dragon got colored in. He tears his shirt off to fight and today it’s pink and purple with rainbow striped horns because he bought her markers and she had fun while he napped. It’s the Yakuza equivalent of hanging your kid’s art on the fridge.
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Officially the 14th here finally so HBD Majima. You deserve to be retired and spending time with Kiryu-chan but I don’t think they’ll ever let you rest.
#真島吾朗生誕祭2023
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“Kill them with kindn-“
“Nyehehe! Found ya Kiryu-chan! ❗️🛼🛼🔪🔪🔪🔪👹🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🐍🔪🔪🔪🔪💥🔪🔪🔪🔪🐍🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🧟♂️🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪👊🏻🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🫦🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪💅🏻
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I know this meme is old and someone has probably done it before and better than me but…uhh…here’s what I spent my last several lunch breaks on. Slightly more
#kazumaji
version in the replies.
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#KazumajiWeek2023
Day 4 - Outfit Swap. Kazumi would wear the most boring pantsuit that matches the usual suit given the chance. She definitely got the short end of the stick on this one. 🤭
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I love how video games expose us to the impossible.
Like someone actually saying, “I really want to use what’s left of my life at work.”
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Me: Haha was that random thug’s name Ahegao or did I read that wrong?
My husband: What’s ahegao?
Me:
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Here's a little preview of my fic in the
@kazumajizine
...if you haven't pre-ordered then no time like the present!
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I'm on a dinner date what do I say he's so cute and I'm nervous. 👉👈
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I see the bots have agreed to have a dame da ne kind of morning.
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For the people that followed me after seeing my silly shitposts the past few days:
1.) I’m normally not funny. I burned through my entire humor quota for the year on those memes.
2.) There will be old man yaoi on this account. Lots of it. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
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Art dump 3 of 3.
@Vamp_Arts
I realized when I was making
@deathmothking
‘s birthday pic that I spaced your birthday. Have a snoot boop as an apology.
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Well I was trying to find a place to eat dinner but instead I think I’m compelled by law to take my shirt off and go pick a fight.
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@PrinceDeku_
You mean that in a game series that’s literally about organized crime someone did something…morally objectionable? *gasp*
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@BirdofaDragon
Also he’s super supportive of the trans woman that’s been giving him erotic massages the whole game. Like…come on.
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@bigtojobutt
Pretty sure you can sneeze in Saejima’s general direction and you become his kyoudai. He just collects them.
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Do you ever get frustrated with one of the minigames and so your start drinking and then that makes you worse at the minigame so you wind up scrolling on Twitter and crying wondering where you went wrong and the answer is “maybe drinking wasn’t the best choice”? No? Just me?
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I love hearing people's completely out of left-field HCs. Like yes, everyone has a HC for a tragic backstory or an undisclosed diagnosis.
But shoutout to the people who have well-formed, passionate opinions about shit like how Shimano folds his underwear. You're the MVPs.
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So I’m trying to finish Y4 and I wound up standing under the poster for Tower Battle while I was looking for something.
I’m sorry…have y’all read the names on this thing? 😂😂
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@sotenborimanlet
At last you've given us an answer to the question "Does Majima go honk shoo honk shoo" or "mi mi mi." Glad to know it's both. 😂
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