Anna Roisman
@AnnaRoisman
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Following
1,156
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Statuses
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Comedian, Host, Impressions, Actor |👸🏻 @nbc @mtvnews @buzzfeednews @hqtrivia @amazon | 🎧PODCAST: Big Wigs | IG & TikTok: @AnnaRoisman | Cameo👇
Brooklyn, NY & LA
Joined March 2009
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if you missed my last few one woman shows... tickets just went on sale for August 15th, 7pm in NYC - plan now and come!!
TICKETS HERE:
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I paid $750 for a fuckin smoothie in Williamsburg last week
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I love Clueless so much but we don’t talk enough about how she hooks up with her brother
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i'm pretty in shock right now...so these are random thoughts. HQ changed my life & I made some lifelong friends & nothing made me smile more than to see how many people it touched each & every night. i'll prob write more later... or i'll go live on instagram, lets be real.💔❤️
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Happy to see my big brother
@ScottRogowsky
achieve his dreams of pitching in the World Series of Baseball!!😎
We go way back before he was the Quiz Daddy & I’m grateful to him for recommending me to HQ. I wish him all the best in his new gig!💋💋
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raise your hand if ya got laid** on Valentine’s Day!🔥🔥🔥🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
**laid off
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i hope there was at least one FBI agent who said, “let’s fucking mar-a-laGO!”
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let’s just say we went on a comedy tour...where should we go? reply with your cities & ‘like’ if you’re coming!tag some comedy clubs!🤙
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huge congrats to Jason Sudeikis not only for winning but for making history tonight as the first person ever to accept an award in a tie dye hoodie.🙌
#GoldenGlobes
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I got to spend more than a year hanging out with my birthday twin almost every night!❤️I miss it all the time! Happy birthday
@mattwasfunny
today’s our dayyy, love you fam.🥳🥳❤️
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in 24 hours I’ve seen Joker & Judy, so I’m looking for one more J-movie about mental health to cap off this weekend
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Once upon a time I was laid off from my job on election night, and then I sat on my couch for 2 years in front of a camera making 'The Unemployed Show.' Here's (part of) an anthem I wrote for the unemployed, freelancers, & 90s emo fans.
"Poor" (A "Torn" Parody) 💋
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In the words of myyy American idol
@kellyclarkson
, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" Right now feels challenging, but it'll be ok. I can't imagine life without
@hqtrivia
. I gave it my all for the last year and a half. I got to perform hundreds of live shows...(1/6)
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one time I “bartended” for Ivanka Trump (served sparkling water) for an event in her jewelry store & she gave a speech about how difficult it was to be a working mother. how much u have to sacrifice. then 3 nannies walked in w/ her kids to say hi before she put them in a car lol
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I hosted over 300 live shows on
@hqtrivia
without a studio audience... so if you’re looking for a host, hi 💁🏻♀️
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wow i got laid off and had the flu in a week but i just hit 24K and it feels like GOLD! i'm obsessed with all of you who are here with me for the riiiiiide. to celebrate? gonna walk bobby flay the dog and clean up some shit! livin' the dreammm✌️
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lol remember what i called my podcast? uhhhh subscribe it's about to get fuckin wild
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I know a lot of you loved Bobby Flay The Dog so I wanted to let you know that in his v dramatic way he crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving. A day full of food for a famous chef.❤️💔🌈
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😽💀
So
@hqtrivia
ended with
@AnnaRoisman
singing Memory from Cats. I now demand every canceled game show end the same way.
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I called myself the word queen today and then I cried.
...that poor dude who delivered my fried chicken didn’t KNOW what he walked into.
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I should prob close twitter for the night.
-working memoir title
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@mattwasfunny
@hqtrivia
I love you and am so grateful for the family we have. FOR LIFE!!!❤️❤️❤️
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🎵memoryyyyyyy all alone in a phone screeeeen I can smile at the old days...🎵
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Finally made eye contact with my neighbor across the street while I was butt naked and I mouthed “you’re welcome!” through the window
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halfway thru cats I hear from a faint distance “TAYLAAAAAAAAAAA!” and it was then that I knew I was sharing this intimate experience with
@MattRogersTho
😻🙌
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My partner in crime
@mattwasfunny
is coming on
@UnemployedPDCST
today for an episode. Do you have any questions for us? Reply below! I’ll pick the ones I love!😎💋 (also, subscribe! duh)
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Thank you for all of the LOVE on here today!! You made my birthday so special. I love you💋💚💚💚
oh and I got dressed!
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*actual convo from earlier*
FRIEND: I have big news!!!
ME: same!
FRIEND: you go first
ME: ok so I found chocolate lucky charms cereal at CVS and I just tried them and they're so good
FRIEND: I'm pregnant
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last Mother’s Day our moms came for our jobs!!! I miss this❤️ love to the moms!
#happymothersday
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Five jobs:
1. Nose
2. Boob
3. Chin
4. Hand
5. Blow
-thanks for playin! I’ll show myself out now!✌️
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hard to see my friends get into wordle after hosting a word puzzle game for 2 years that they never played!!!!!!
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he's my brother for life :) wait til u see what we do together!
I’m sad if
@hqtrivia
is really over, playing that game was a daily part of my life &
@AnnaRoisman
&
@mattwasfunny
are to amazing to not be around on a daily basis. 💜
#HQForever
💔
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married a brisket tonight.❤️in lieu of flowers we will take RTs🤙🤙🍷🍷
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thinkin bout goin live on IG for an after partyyy🎉🥳
it was my first time ever hosting an
@hqtrivia
game in prime time after all...
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Lorne I’m available
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🌷YOU'RE INVITED🌷:
𝑻𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝑺𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 13𝒕𝒉 2020 𝒂𝒕 9𝒑𝒎 𝑬𝑻 𝒕𝒐 *𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆* 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇
@hqtrivia
𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒆.😎 𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝑹𝑺𝑽𝑷 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒘!!!
Best,
Anna
#HQsundayfunday
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! This happened 5 min before we were live. It’s gonna be a great 2020!!!!!🥳🥳🥳🍑
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it's my birthday & if i get to 19K on instagram today there will be butts🤠
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jesus christ just found a poodle inside my box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch churros wtf
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look at these fly ass
@Nike
sneakers my brother
@mattwasfunny
got me for my birthday! watch out I’m on my way to the moon in these!!😎🤙❤️
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MOM: They have the BEST dicks in Cherry Hill, NJ.
ME: what??
MOM: Dicks! The sporting goods store!
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@MaraWilson
I spent an entire summer learning the lyrics to “ghetto superstar” to impress the popular girls who loved rap (I listened to bway) and by the time fall came around and I did it in the car they said that the song was “not cool anymore”
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We could just substitute the phrase "can I be honest" to "I'm about to crush your soul hard"
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Who remembers the cartoon Recess?! And who loved it as much as me!
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🙋🏻♀️hi
Tonight we welcome back The Queen (of Words). Hosting HQ Trivia at 9pm ET it's
@AnnaRoisman
! 👑
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I’m seeing a lotttt of people going to their parents house to quarantine [get free dinners].
I called my mom and she said “I don’t want your germs do not come here.”
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I used to work for an app that crashed a lot and tbh it made for great memories… let’s cherish today🙏❤️
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Today marks 2 yrs since I hosted my first
@hqwords
beta game! I wrote a funny story about my white pants suit on Instagram.😂 I’ll always remember this day & am grateful for this wild ride on
@hqtrivia
&
#hqafterdark
! Love you
#wordnerds
&
#hqties
!
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big day. need good vibes. taking to the kindest place in the world for it - TWITTER!😍
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Happy birthday to my girl
@sharoncarpenter
it’s LADIES WEEKEND on
@hqtrivia
&
@hqwords
so catch us tonight starting at 9pm!!👯♀️💋
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just found $20 on the ground and my first thought was “wonder if this bill has corona on it?”
either way it’s in my pocket now
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HOT TIP? take a 15 min break from watching the election news to play a lil
@hqtrivia
movie night with me tonight at 9p! **general movie knowledge** 🤠🤑 reply with a gif from your FAVE movie if you're in, babe!
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still eating leftover stuffing but I bet u couldn’t tell, right?
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I’m full of pasta ur gonna have to airlift me in
My key to the studio still works motherfuckers! I called up
@AnnaRoisman
and
@rus
I think we’re gonna sneak in an do something special at 12:30am eastern
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I’m OBSESSEDDDDDDD!!!!❤️❤️👻
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today I will walk 2.4 miles EACH WAY to return some dresses I don’t need anymore cuz I lost my job & that’s NYC, baby🤙🤙🤙
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