Ania Magliano
@AniaMags
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comedian (no other flaws) rep: @avalonent
London, England
Joined July 2012
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ANILPIN WE ARE THE ONE
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Pinned Tweet
💚 EDINBURGH 2024 💚
This gorgeous poster by the heaven sent
@samnicoresti
& you can buy tickets now! Would suggest buying now if you want to come on specific dates: .
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fuck girls who suit those tiny thin sunglasses how do u look high fashion when I look like one of the three blind mice from shrek
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the daily mail's inability to see queer women is truly something to behold
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the sexual tension between me and any other person in their twenties doing the Christmas walk with their parents
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soup is a charade we all participate in in the endless quest to eat more bread
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the song She Moves in Her Own Way is about a woman who scampers across the floor on all fours like a rat
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me still dating men:
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sims expansion pack
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my new hobby is commenting on celeb’s IG posts like we’re old friends
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I am 23 today.....my dad just suggested I go to the motorway services as a 'birthday treat'.......these are my roaring twenties 🥰🔥
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thoughts & prayers with anyone tasked with explaining the new board game’s rules to the rest of the family
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All the boys at uni
Birds are fed by their parents in their infancy. When the time comes to feed themselves, there can be some confusion when the food does not go into their mouth by itself.
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Just had my coil replaced, the consultant told me I have a ‘lovely cervix’. Brainstorming outfit options to show it off
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whats the german word for when you think someone's funny online but then they do a sincere post about the royal family
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Thinking of all those involved in the creation of
#Dispatches
and the Russell Brand article.
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devastated to learn this isn't the high protein sugar free treat i once thought
This is horrifying!
Guess how much sugar is in one Cadbury’s Easter Creme Egg?
Answer: more sugar than is recommended for kids of most ages for a whole day!
Adults, don’t even think about it!
#Easter
#Easter2021
#EasterEgg
#health
#sugar
#food
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once i had my phone on silent and when i checked it i had a text from my friend that said 'can you eat a berocca dry' and then 3 missed calls from him
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love it when a man calls me feisty on account of me voicing a single opinion on anything
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If captain tom really cared he would’ve done a tough mudder
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my favourite part of watching a film is looking up the plot on Wikipedia afterwards
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deleting my dating apps cos i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (fashioned from his rib)
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there’s a real gap in the market for driving instructors who aren’t completely insane
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This is where he waits for me every morning. By the knives
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I’m on a 5 hour train to Glasgow right now and the guy in front of me has just started watching Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked on his phone without headphones. Everyone in the carriage is absolutely fuming
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What is a stand up routine that you watch and think GOSH that is simply a gorgeous tight masterclass lil bit of comedy? (bonus points if you can link me to it right here right now)
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I was weighed on the 1st day of Year 5 (age 9) and kids laughed at me for weighing more than them. When my mum came home that day she found me in the garden, where I'd been using the skipping rope for 2 hours. I faked illness on the first day of Year 6 in case it happened again.
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if you caption anything ‘Costa del [british location]’ today i do unfortunately have the legal right to smash up your house
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can someone let men know that they can get past without touching the small of your back ????
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I've been writing some jokes for this account and this is one of my bad boys !!!!
M&S reveals it can’t offer bra-fitting services under current rules, causing a wave of indifference across the UK as nobody’s worn one for three months.
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THREAD (tw: suicide)
***
this time a year ago i was hospitalised for taking an overdose. today i just handed in a dissertation and am sitting under blue skies w/ the sun shining. SO i just wanted to remind u that if ur feeling crap - it is temporary and you will get thru it
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so happy that I’m ubering to leicester square to stick a flare in my vagina
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We’re all beautiful unique special individuals with our beautiful unqiue special uniqlo body bags
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I got weighed on the first day of year 5 and it gave me an eating disorder that I didn’t beat until I was 20 and still lives with me every day xxx
Should schools weigh pupils to make sure they shift the pounds they've put on during the lockdown?
Health experts want two weigh-ins in September and then in the spring to keep kids on track. But could this just create a generation of calorie counters?
#JeremyVine
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Got to my travelodge last night after a gig and the receptionist asked ‘are you comfortable being a woman alone in an upstairs room’ and I said yes, but intrigued to know what the other option was. Would she have slept at the end of my bed like a dog
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it’s incredible that months and months of work on self love & acceptance can be undone by one (1) trip to the Zara changing rooms
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in a classic alternative move from me I ended up at a&e last night......with a scalded thigh and (you guessed it) vagina!!! worst pain I’ve felt in my life, make sure your hot water bottle lids are ok properly folks
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just bought tickets to Thorpe Park, can’t wait to go on nemesis in furlough
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been doing squats everyday so that my ass can clap for our carers
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horse girl alert
Little Princess Charlotte of Wales is wearing her first ever piece of jewellery today in honour of her great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth: an horseshoe brooch, for Elizabeth’s love for horses 💎
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tfw Stephen Fry steals your tweet
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At my mum’s for the first time since she’s had some Ukrainians move into my old room. She showed me the drawer in her room where’s put all my clothes. I’ve also just found my old vibrator, wrapped carefully in a Sainsbury’s bag for life. We will never speak of this
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I forgot my laptop was playing music when I turned my volume up and was like, wow, this is an interesting angle
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I admire and respect the fact that this employee didn’t even try to hide that they love drama
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here’s a bleak idea: Citymapper but it shows the well lit walking routes so women can walk home & feel safer
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Found a list of ‘100 things I like about myself’ I made in 2018 to try and be happier. Number 9 is ‘I’ve survived 3 incidences of sexual assault’. Number 10? ‘I can do the worm’
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what fucking mental shape of sunglasses is going to be cool this year then
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I would like to add posthumous honourable munchtions to Bakewell tart, mince pie, Reese’s peanut butter cups, blocks of marzipan, turkish delight, Winkel43 Apple Pie, the pink ones in the Roses box, marshmallows & raw cookie dough
🍭 EPISODE 169 OUT NOW 🍭
with ANIA MAGLIANO!
Listen, review, subscribe:
🍽 Apple:
🍽 Acast:
🍽 Spotify:
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Remember if you didn’t get the Spotify Wrapped you wanted this year, no employers actually look at them. Follow your dreams ❤️
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great candid shot from house of commons. looks like matt hancock is telling us that the vaccine is just like his nonna used to make
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My entire Fringe run is sold out - thank you to everyone who bought tickets, it’s mad! And if you still want to come, any held tickets will be released by the box office at 3:35pm 👹
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
And the winner of the Best New Show is Ania Magliano: Absolutely No Worries If Not
@AniaMaga
!
#LCFAwards22
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we as a collective are not doing enough to stop the return of low rise jeans
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me showing my hairdresser a picture that looks nothing like my hair type, texture or colour
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It’s been 6 days of my resolution to not eat anything sweet unless I’ve made it myself and I’m very proud it took til today to google ‘Haribo recipe’
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Bought this in 2019, turned out to be a real investment piece
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does anyone else say ‘and I’ll leave you with this’ right before they cum
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Hats off to the male comedians already getting their jokes in about the other male comedians abusing women in comedy! That’s exactly what we meant when we asked you to speak out
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